dear jude,

i'm in el paso. i'm meeting charlotte tully and i'm at a loss for what i should say to her. do i forgive her for abandoning me and letting me grow up thinking she was dead? do i tell her i'm in love with you? i hate feeling this way but i'm jealous of claudia. i'm jealous that she can love freely and unabashed. i'm jealous that she had the damned luck to be born the fairer sex and is able to love the opposing one. tell me jude, do you ever feel jealous of nate? or am i just crazy, doomed to live my life wishing to be something other than what is expected from me?

with great love, charles edward tully