Chapter 9:

The rest of the day consisted of me hiding in my dorm. Mainly from Tasha. I needed time to reflect on my feelings for her as well as Rose.

Rose was dangerous, I couldn't love her without it ending badly for the both of us. Our feelings for each other was also distracting. And a distraction like that could lead to death or worse. And I couldn't afford loosing that concentration. Neither could she. Maybe in five more years Rose and I can settle down and finally stop putting our feelings aside, but for right now she needed a mentor that was strict and focused. Not some love crazed teacher that couldn't control his feelings for his student.

Tasha on the other hand, I could have a relationship with, and it would be safe. No one would question it. She's also of age and would provide a great distraction from Rose. But that was the problem; I couldn't just leave Rose for Tasha, not only would it make me a jerk, but it would also break Rose's heart.

I was positive in the beginning that I could hurt Rose and it would be okay. But now I wasn't so sure. Rose didn't deserve such punishment. Yet it would be the only solution to get her off my back and get her to focus. I hated being mean, but at the same time all I could think of was it's the right thing.

So I went to bed that night trying to come up with ideas on how to get Rose away from me, but at the same time without hurting her.

And sadly... I came up with one solution...

The next day I found Rose laughing and smiling with Mason. Careful as to not let my feelings over take me I made my way towards her. Mason wandered off just as I showed up for our practice. As we walked towards the gym I could feel Rose's mood shift. As she went out of her way to avert her gaze. Although she didn't know that I knew why.

We returned to the training room with the dummies, and I told her that I simply wanted her to practice the maneuvers from two days ago. She went loose then, punching and stabbing them with the stake I had given her. And she was giving them her all; as if they were real Strigoi. I let her go, knowing that she was in alot of stress and needed to work it out. I sat back and watched her, occasionally critiquing her technique and offering suggestions for new tactics.

"Your hair's in the way." I said at one point. "Not only are you blocking your peripheral vision, you're running the risk of letting your enemy get a handhold."

"If I'm actually in a fight, I'll wear it up." She grunted as she shoved the stake neatly up between the dummy's "ribs." She added a little more force then needed in the last staking. "I'm just wearing it down today, that's all."

I could hear the lie in her voice. And knew that I had to calm her down before she really attacked someone with the stake. "Rose." I said warningly. Ignoring me she plunged again. I raised my voice, making it sharper. "Rose. Stop."

She backed away from the dummy, her breathing labored. Her back hit the wall then. With nowhere to go, she looked away from me, directing her eyes toward the ground. Hiding her face.

"Look at me." I ordered.

"Dimitri--"

"Look at me."

Rose knew she couldn't refuse a direct order. So slowly she turned towards me, still tilting her head slightly down so the hair hung over the sides of her face. Rising from my chair, I walked over and stood before her.

Still avoiding my eyes I reached up to brush her hair away. But then stopped, remembering my self control; if I touched her hair all that hard work of staying in control would collapse, and I would give in to her. Which was the exact thing I was trying to avoid.

Her breathing stopped the same time my hand did. Our short-lived attraction had been filled with questions and reservations.

My hand hovered there, as she waited to see what I would do. I knew I shouldn't give in. Because if I did there was no going back. I hated it; hated how I couldn't have her without some huge consequence. I hated myself for falling victim to her. And I was afraid to touch her.

After a long dragging moment I let my hand gradually fall back to my side. Rose slowly tipped her head back so that we made eye contact. Most of her hair fell back from her face--but not all. My hand trembled again, it ached to touch that silky hair of hers. And I fought hard to hold it back.

Under that dark hair of hers I could see the blue bruise that was forming around her right eye. My hand steadied itself before I made an attempt for conversation.

"Does it hurt?" I asked.

"No," She lied.

"It doesn't look so bad," I told her."It'll heal."

"I hate her." She said, venom at every word.

"No, you don't." I said gently not wanting those harsh words to turn on me.

"I do."

"You don't have time to hate anyone." I advised, still attempting to be kind. "Not in our profession. You should make peace with her." I tried my best not to tell her that I had seen her mother that day. Afraid that she would turn against me.

I could see her face darken. Her brown eyes turning black as she glared at me. I braced myself for yet another wrath of Rose. "Make peace with her? After she gave me a black eye on purpose? Why am I the only one who sees how crazy that is?"

Hearing that made my blood boil. I knew Rose didn't like her mother, but to say that was just too much. So much for keeping the meeting with her mother a secret.

"She absolutely did not do it on purpose." I said, voice hard. "No matter how much you resent her, you have to believe that. She wouldn't do that, and anyway, I saw her later that day. She was worried about you."

"Probably more worried someone will bring her up on child abuse charges." She grumbled. Mentally I let out a sigh of relief. Rose wasn't as mad as I thought she would be.

"Don't you think this is the time of the year for forgiveness?"

She sighed loudly. "This isn't a Christmas special! This is my life. In the real world, miracles and goodness just don't happen."

I eyed her calmly. "In the real world, you can make your own miracles."

Something shifted in Rose then. I could see the change in mood as well. Her eyes glistened as she stared back at me. And for a second I thought she was about to cry. Until those dark eyes of hers turned even darker.

"Okay, can you just stop this for once?" She demanded, hands on her hips.

"Stop what?"

"The whole profound Zen crap thing. You don't talk to me like a real person. Everything you say is just some wise, life lesson nonsense. You really do sound like a Christmas special." She lashed out, full of anger. Her voice rose even higher, to where she was practically shouting. "I swear, sometimes it's like you just want to hear yourself talk! And I know you're not always this way. You were perfectly normal when you talked to Tasha. But with me? You're just going through the motions. You don't care about me. You're just stuck in your stupid mentor role.

I stared at her, never before had she hurt me that bad before. And I wouldn't let her see me that way, so I hid it as best I could. "I don't care about you?"

"No." She jabbed my chest with her finger. And just that slightest poke hurt me more than a stake would "I'm another student to you. You just go on and on with your stupid life lessons so that--"

I had enough of her then; I suddenly reached out and grabbed her pointing hand. I pinned it to the wall, and I could see the surprised look on her face as I did so.

"Don't tell me what I'm feeling." I growled.

I knew deep down that I shouldn't be this upset. But half of the things she had said were true. I was almost always calm, and in control--even when fighting. I had been exactly like her once--always on the verge of acting without thinking, done things I knew I shouldn't. And she was headed down the same path.

Her eyes lit up then. "That's it, isn't it?" She asked.

"What?"

"You're always fighting for control. You're the same as me."

"No," I said. "I've learned my control." I lied.

"No, you haven't. You put on a good face, and most of the time you do stay in control. But sometimes you can't. And sometimes..." She leaned forward, lowering her voice. "Sometimes you don't want to."

"Rose..."

My breathing was labored, my heart racing as I tried my best to stay in control.

And before I had realized what she was about to do she kissed me. Our lips met, and uncontrollably I kissed her back. I pressed myself closer trapping her between me and the wall. I wanted more of her, and all of those emotions that I had tried to keep locked up came pouring out.

I held her hand as my other one snaked behind her head, sliding into her hair. The kiss was filled with intensity, anger, passion, release and so much more. And I couldn't help but think back to that night in my room. My body ached to bring her back and finished what we had left undone.

And that's when I realized what I had just done.

I jerked away from her and took several steps back. "Do not do that again." I said stiffly.

"Don't kiss me back then." She resorted.

i stared at her for a long time. "I don't give 'Zen lessons' to hear myself talk. I don't give them because you're another student. I'm doing this to teach you control."

"You're doing a great job." She said bitterly.

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to regain my control back before I lashed out at her. Exhaling I muttered 'you're right' in Russian. Without another glance at her, I turned and left the room.

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Sorry for the long wait, I promise it won't be that long again (: Thanks for reading! Hoped you like the kiss cus I really did! Can't get enough of Dimitri, Rose is a lucky girl ): haha anyways sorry if it wasn't as great of a chapter as the last ones. I'm a little rusty with Dimitri.. Please vote and comment telling me how I did! Thanks (:

<3LittleDhampir18