Journal #5:
Farrah told me she'd call me tonight. We actually talk. My mom keeps saying she likes me but that's what my mom says about any girl who even looks in my direction. I think she might be nice to me because she feels bad. It doesn't matter, at least she's around.

Adonis»

It was now later at night, we'd opened gifts, eaten, visited family, and we were finally home.

My mom told me to go to bed, since we had to go to Ottawa tomorrow morning. But just when I was going to sleep— Farrah called me. She'd mentioned earlier that she'd call me later, but I didn't expect her to call now; and I wasn't just gonna ignore her.

Should I?

I wouldn't know what to talk about..maybe I could just pretend I was sleeping?

No..that's not what friends do. And she's my friend.

"Hello?"

"Hey Adonis..you aren't going to sleep are you?"

"No." I lied. It's strange, everytime I talk to her again, I forget how much I like hearing her voice.

"Oh..I got my phone back, thank god. I called you because uh...well..I'm having trouble."

"What's your trouble?" I asked, pretending to know how I could even help.

"I'm feeling a little..alone. Do you ever feel like that?"

All the time.

"I guess..kind of. Don't you have friends though?"

"I haven't really been speaking to Skylar or Melanie, my other 'friends' are just people I kind of know but don't really speak to. I got fired from Sephora for not showing up yesterday, my family is pissed at me. I just feel like shit."

"I'm sorry Farrah-"

"And I'm sorry to just call you and dump my stupid problems on you. It just feels good talking to someone who I know won't judge me."

Farrah is nice to everyone, they all love her. Why would she call me when there's so many people to choose from?

I never liked Melanie, or Skylar too much. But I'm somewhat glad that they missed the opourtunity to talk to Farrah tonight..because I get to.

"You don't have to apologize. I like talking to you..even though I don't know how to help you."

"That really means a lot Adonis. How'd your day go?"

"I got some cool stuff, then I visited some family. I wish you could've been here." I blurted out.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"I wish I could've been there too, it sounds like you had fun." She said chuckling.

Farrah makes me feel a lot of weird things. Nervous, but sometimes confident. Awkward, but sometimes comfortable. I don't know if this is what it's like to like a girl, but it seems like it fits all the requirements.

But I don't see her and I together. She would never even agree to go out on one date with me, not like I'd ever be brave enough to ask.

"Hey can I ask you something?" I said snapping out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"How do you know you..like someone?"

"Aww Adonis do you have a crush?"

"No, no. Just a hypothetical."

"Hmmm. Well when I like someone...I may get nervous around them, I go out of my way to talk them, I feel nice when they go out of their way to talk to me, things like that."

"How do you tell the person you like them?"

"Honestly, just be upfront and tell her how you feel. We're too old to pass notes and tip toe, if she doesn't feel the same way..that's okay."

"If she doesn't like me back, will things be weird afterward?"

"It could..but you miss all the shots you don't take. So don't think too hard about it.

Her advice seemed solid, but she thinks I'm talking about someone else. So I made a decision in my head, I won't tell her until I'm completely sure she likes me back.

"So, what's this girl's name?"

"I told you Farrah, there's no girl..it's just hypothetical."

"No one asked things like that just for fun Adonis. We're friends..you can tell me."

I knew she wouldn't let it go, so I came up with the first name that I could think of.

"Crystal."

"Crystal..from our English class?"

"Yeah..her."

"Aww Adonis! I had no idea you liked her! Well you like..have to ask her out. I can help you out if you like.."

Lying was a bad idea. I don't like Crystal at all...I actually dislike her.

"No, that's okay."

"I get you're shy. Just give it some thought."

The way she was saying awww was making me reconsider how she saw me. It felt like I was her little brother or something.

"I guess I'll think about it."

"Ugh I've got to break you out of that shell! Tell you what. There's a Connection Club meeting in a few days. When our parents drop us off, let's sneak off and do something fun."

"Why does fun always have to include doing something bad?"

"Because being bad is fun Adonis. Especially when you don't get caught. Text me tomorrow, I gotta get some sleep."

-

Farrah»

It was finally the morning of the connection club meeting, and surprisingly I was excited. Since Christmas I've been texting Adonis about our plan—which I'm sure he was afraid of, but it'll be fun.

"Farrah! You better be dressed! And it's freezing outside so grab a big coat!" My mom yelled from downstairs.

I quickly texted Adonis, reminding him of what we'd do.

me:
Don't worry too much. When your mom drops you off, walk in the building and I'll meet you there. Then when people are still coming in, we leave out inconspicuously

Adonis:
Ok 👍🏽

The emojis he uses always make me laugh a bit.

I put on my coat and went downstairs with my mom. I grabbed my purse, that had my money in it. Since Adonis and I would be exploring the city today, we'd need an extra few dollars.

We left the house and began the half hour commute to the center where the meeting were held. As I pulled up, Adonis texted me letting me know he was five minutes a way.

"Alright mom. You can let me out right here."

"Have fun Farrah. Make good decisions." My mom said giving me her signature look.

"Okay. Bye!" I said grabbing my purse and getting out the car. I hung around the front of the rec-center, watching kids go in one by one.

Finally, I saw Adonis walking up— looking around like he was about to commit a crime.

"Don't look so suspicious Adonis. We're just gonna go downtown."

"Oh good. I thought you wanted to like...rob someone."

"How bad do you think I am?" I laughed.

I checked our surroundings, making sure no one was watching.

"Alright. To the train station we go."

He walked closely next to me, running his hands together. He no longer looked scared or worried, just quiet and content.

We reached the train station in less than five minutes and I reviewed the map of when the trains are departing.

"Should we leave Scarborough? Or are you scared?"

"I'm not scared. We can go wherever."

"Train to Brampton? I'm in the mood for sushi."

"Sure." He said smiling.

I could already tell I'd have to do some work to get him out of his shell, but I like a challenge.

Adonis

As I was getting on the train with Farrah, there was a mixture of excitement and nervousness in my body. I'd never done something crazy like this before, and when I'd see teens on TV sneak out and do something wild— it always looked fun.

Even though we were only going to Brampton, it felt like a field trip to somewhere cool and never explored.

I've only ever been cool places with my family, so going with Farrah would be so much different.

The train ride was quiet, it felt like you could hear my heart beating out of my chest. The beating got faster when Farrah unexpectedly rested her head on my shoulder.

"Relax Adonis." I heard her say quietly.

a/n
y'all ive been editing "Audrey" to "Farrah" in this book so many times I'm sorry if it says Audrey somewhere lol

(Price of writing two books at once)

Do y'all think Farrah is a bad influence? Or just trying to let him have fun?