Thanks to captain Valkyrie for this amazing cover art.
Death battle track would be called: Divine Lightning
Wiz: Teachers are meant to teach the younger generation to be smarter and stronger.

Boomstick: But the best teachers are the ones who can look badass while doing it.

Wiz: Kakashi The lightning powered ninja from naruto.

Boomstick: The Ashen Demon from fire emblem.

Boomstick: He's wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons armor and skills to find out who would win a death battle!

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Kakashi Shocks Death Battle

Wiz: Shinobi, Hokage, mentor, friend.

Boomstick: And porn addict!

Wiz: Kakashi Hatake is all of these, and generally a pretty relaxed guy for someone raised as a ninja assassin.

Boomstick: You wouldn't know it at first glance that his childhood sucked balls. Like when his dad committed seppuku, because he saved his friends instead of prioritizing a mission.

Wiz: In the shadow of disgrace, this cruel methodology of the ninja and his father's great mistake tore young Kakashi apart.

Boomstick: Reminds me of my dad...

Wiz: What was his great mistake?

Boomstick: He called it... "Boomstick."

Wiz: Oh. Ahem, despite his hardship, Kakashi proved himself a prodigy. Becoming a Genin at age five, a Chunin at age six, and a Jonin at age twelve.

Boomstick: For those of us who don't speak anime, he might as well have been doing ninja rocket science in the womb.

Wiz: He quickly mastered the use of chakra, a form of spiritual energy within all individuals that ninja can shape and weaponize. This is ninjutsu.

Boomstick: He can walk up walls, heal wounds, and even make clones of himself. Plus, he's a master of taijutsu, AKA punchin' people. But his deadliest technique of all, is the One Thousand Years of Death!

Kakashi: Leaf Village Secret Finger Jutsu...

Naruto: (screams)

Kakashi: A Thousand Years of Death!

Boomstick: Oh-ho-ho! That's gonna get you on a list. Naruto's like, twelve!

Wiz: Chakra can also be molded into nature itself, and Kakashi can use it for numerous elemental attacks.

Boomstick: Sure, he can shoot fireballs or dunk you with water, but his favorite is lightning! Lightning zaps, lightning clones, lightning... dogs?! That's awesome! How do I get one of those?

Wiz: He's even invented a lightning ninjutsu technique: the Chidori. By gathering electric chakra into his hand or a kunai, he becomes capable of piercing just about anything.

Boomstick: Even a bolt of actual lightning! Take that, nature! Man triumphs over you once again!

Wiz: This is where Kakashi's own Chidori got its moniker: Raikiri, Lightning Cutter.

Boomstick: Ooh, now I know what I'm gonna name my lightning dog!

Wiz: The Chidori does have a downside, though. It's speed and power are so great, they give the user tunnel vision, and make the attack generally uncontrollable.

Boomstick: Basically, once you kick on the gas, you're zoomin' straight ahead, no matter what happens. Although, Kakashi "eyed" just the thing to fix it.

Popup: Years later, Kakashi would eventually develop the Purple Electricity jutsu, which was functionally similar to the Chidori, but did not require the Sharingan to operate

Wiz: Long story short, he was drafted into a war alongside his friends Rin and Obito.

Boomstick: Shit went down and Kakashi lost an eye, so Obito handed over one of his when he decided to sacrifice his life. Holy shit! Why don't I have any friends like that? Wiz, gimme your eye.

Wiz: No.

Boomstick: I'll give it back, I promise.

Wiz: Obito's eye wasn't an ordinary eye. He was an Uchiha, and this was a Sharingan.

Boomstick: With his Sharingan, Kakashi not only got some control over his Chidori, but he can see a person's chakra, predict their movements, dupe your brain with genjutsu, and even copy jutsu techniques. He's such a filthy plagiarist that he's stolen over one thousand jutsus in fourteen years.

Popup: Kakashi must be physically capable of a jutsu in order to copy it. For example, he cannot copy genetic Kekkei Genkai, such as Haku's Ice Release.

Wiz: Although, since Kakashi is not an Uchiha, he can't exactly turn the Sharingan off.

Boomstick: And then Rin jumped in front of his Raikiri and kicked the bucket too. Man, this guy can't catch a break.

(cut to Wiz and Boomstick)

Wiz: And yet, unimaginable loss is exactly what is needed to unlock the Sharingan's next stage: the Mangekyō Sharingan.

Boomstick: Aw, yeah! With the mankey eye, he can cast Kamui, basically sucking objects or people into another dimension. Sure, it uses up a lot of his chakra pool, but it's a pretty clever instant win move.

Wiz: The concept of trauma granting new power fascinates me. (he holds up a detonator) So, I've stolen Boomstick's entire beer hoard, and placed it in a secure room with two hundred tons of TNT.

Boomstick: (laughs) Wait, what?

(Wiz pushes the button, there is a massive explosion)

Boomstick: NOOOO! You monster! What have you done?!

(Wiz takes out a clipboard and pencil)

Wiz: Do you feel anything?

Boomstick: Just thirsty, sober, and... PUNCHY.

Wiz: Pu-punchy?

(Boomstick clocks him in the face, he collapses, and Boomstick then grabs some money from his pocket)

Boomstick: Next round's on Wiz! Well, for Kakashi, everything sort of worked out in the end. He became a teacher, and this new generation of ninja helped him learn that his dad was right all along. Friends do come first. Unless they blow up all your beer! (to Wiz) Wake up!

Wiz: (groans) He's held his own against top tier ninja-like Zabuza, Pain, and even his old friend Obito.

Boomstick: Back from the dead and evil now, because why not? Kakashi can definitely compare to fellow ninja master Jiraiya, who can blow up mountains. That takes over eighteen megatons of TNT.

Wiz: And he's caught and sliced lightning. Based on the distance it moved before he caught it, he must have reacted within seventy microseconds, and moved over two thousand times the speed of sound.

Boomstick: Sounds like ninja president material to me. Not too shabby for a guy who likes to read porn in public. Did I forget to mention that? Because he totally does.

Wiz: Kakashi of the Sharingan is nothing if not full of surprises.

Kakashi: Right now, all I can give you... is just death.

Byleth lets the lesson begin in death battle

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Wiz: A long time ago the Goddess Sothis blessed the continent of Fodlan with the divine gift of life. This goddess helped the continent strive and become fruitful.

Boomstick: You know until a war broke out between two races, but that's a whole can of worms to get into so like play all of Three Houses if you want context. Like seriously get into the series, it's good. Play Fire Emblem. Do it now!

Wiz: Fast forward several years later. A mercenary of the name Jeralt took a mission to protect the archbishop Rhea, where he later took a mortal wound that would cost him his life.

Boomstick: Except not really, to keep him alive Rhea gave him some of her blood to survive and let him stay at the Garegg Mach Monastery. Totally nothing suspicious so far amiright?

Wiz: While staying at Garegg Mach Jeralt met with a kind-hearted nun named Sitri, the two fell in love and together they had a daughter of the name Byleth.

Boomstick: But when the baby was popped out of the womb it was born without a heartbeat and would die. So the solution? Sitri Rhea took Sitri's heart out of her, stay with me here, and implanted the heart into the baby. Sitri died and Byleth would live, except for some reason this meant that Byleth didn't have any emotions for some reason, but like equivalent exchange I guess.

Wiz: Suspecting something was wrong Jeralt fled with his child away from the Garegg Mach Monastery to raise his child as a mercenary.

Boomstick: And hey Jeralt was right when he suspected something was wrong, because the combination of Sitri's heart and the blood of Rhea was the perfect recipe to reviving the Goddess Sothis. How did the Goddess die you may ask? Play Fire Emblem Three Houses for extra context. I ain't explaining this shit you.

Wiz: Well, Byleth gained the Crest of Flames which allows her to wield the legendary Heroes relics. Byleth primarily uses the Sword of the Creator, but other media such as Smash Bros. shows that she can use other Hero's relics just fine, but seeing how that's non canon we can't give them to Byleth for this battle.

Wiz: Anyway, let's go over his the sword of creator. His primary weapon.

SWORD OF THE CREATOR
– A Hero's Relic stated to be a gift from the Goddess herself.
– Can only be wielded by the bearer of the Crest of Flames.
– The Sword of the Creator can be upgraded to the Sublime Sword of the Creator.
– With a flick of the wrist, can turn into a whip-like blade with great range.
– In Smash Bros. Ultimate can reel in opponents towards Byleth
– Effective against Dragons.
- can destroy mountains

Wiz: He can even use magic like thunder fire wind. And he can use stronger versions like Thoron and arc fire.

Boomstick: Being an rpg character, byleth rightfully has a lot of skills. So let's go over them. And by that I mean here's the list.

– Swordfaire: Grants extra damage if Byleth uses a sword.
– Sword Prowess: Improves Byleth's Hit Rate and Evasion when equipped with Swords.
— Sword Prowess Lv5: Further Improves Byleth's Hit Rate and evasion if equipped with a sword.
– Sword Critical +10: Critical hits land more frequently if Byleth wields a sword.
– Axebreaker: When wielding a sword Byleth deals more damage to axe wielders and has a higher chance to avoid axe attacks.
– Authority: Improves the Byleth's Might when using gambits.
— Authority Lv5: Further improves Byleth's Might when using gambits.
– HP+5: Increases Blyeth's maximum HP.
– Speed+2: Increases Byleth's maximum Speed.
– Vantage: If Byleth's HP is below 50%, Byleth always attacks first in combat.
– Defiant Strength: If Byleth's HP is below 25%, Byleth gains additional strength.

Wiz: Byleth was also born with a crest. Which grants whoever has it immense power boosts that they wouldn't normally have. Being a God she has the best one which is the major crest of flames. Which can occasionally heal her 30% and allows her to avoid counterattacks.

Boomstick: Spoiler warning but when byleth fought this evil wizard guy. He trapped byleth into a dimension and left him to die.

Wiz: That's when sothis the goddess that has been watching over byleth all of her life. Decided to step in and help. She fused with her and she became even more powerful.

Boomstick: Her hair gets green and her sword can cut through reality?! What the hell?!

Wiz: And with the goddess' power she's able to use divine pulse. Which can stop and even rewind time. Though she can only use it up to thirteen times. And she retains any information gain from past failures. Meaning if she makes a mistake she can rewind and learn from it. Like the time she was stabbed and almost died but with divine pulse she was able to prevent it from happening.

Boomstick: That sounds awesome! If I had it, then I would drink a beer then rewind time so I could have it again. Then I would have infinite beer! I would never have to pay for it again!

Feats:

Defeated a band of Bandits alongside Edelgard, Dimitri, and Claude.
Fought against and triumphed over many skilled warriors and Demonic Beasts.
Rescued Flayn from the mysterious Flame Emperor.
Ended the stalemate between the Leicester Alliance, Adrestian Empire, and the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus.
Killed Rhea alongside the Black Eagle Strikeforce.
Took hits from immaculate one who could destroy mountains and continents.

Wiz: When it comes to speed , Byleth can Dodge Lightning , Which should give her massively hypersonic+ speeds and how we know that lightning in fire emblem moves as fast as real lightning , is that in the attack animation for bolting , Byleth dodges Bolting and other Electicity based spells , right before the lightning bolt is about to hit her head , which would give Byleth massively hypersonic+ speeds.

Boomstick: Going onto Her Higher Speed feats , Byleth can Dodge The Immaculate Ones Hoarfrost , an attack that's about Mach 8812.

Boomstick: Wow! With all of this power how can she ever lose. She can bend time and destroy mountains!

Wiz: Well byleth is not quite perfect. Her divine pulse only has so many uses before it runs out. And stuff like magic is pretty finite too.

Boomstick: But hey, when you can go back in time and cut through reality like a knife through butter it's pretty hard to lose. Also, did we mention she can f-ing fly?

Byleth: Each battle is a chance to grow.

Wiz: Alright the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a death battle!

Byleth was finally trying to enjoy some deserved time off. A break from the monastery. She found a nice forest she could take a nap in. Right when she was about to sit down and get comfortable a demonic beast came charging at her. Byleth dodged out of the way. She took out her sword of creator and got ready to fight. I guess that nap will have to wait.

Meanwhile kakashi was sitting in a tree reading his book. But then wham! The demonic beast was sent flying into not only the tree kakashi was on but a few others. Thankfully he dodged out of the way. The monster was gone. So when kakashi looked all he saw was byleth with her sword.

Kakashi: Hey!

Byleth looked up and saw a man with a face mask holding a book. Hello there said byleth in response.

Kakashi: You're in Konoha territory. I have some questions if you'll come with me ma'am. For that property damage that you just caused.

Byleth wasn't in the mood for this. She just wanted to relax and now she had this to deal with.

Byleth: Sorry, but it wasn't me. I was a monster that I was fighting.

Byleth: I want to unwind and I'm sure you want to go home and read your book.

Kakashi: I want to go home and keep reading my book...

Byleth starts to leave as she believes Kakashi will leave her alone , But unfortunately kakashi has been angered by the Mercenary's action because she didn't want to cooperate.

Kakashi: ...After I kick your ass!

Kakashi readjusts his headband, revealing his Sharingan, who then throws four kunai at Byleth who uses her cape to block and deflect them. Byleth then brings out her sword of creator once again and readies her fighting stance. The Hero of the Sharingan tosses his book into the air and uses Earth Style ninjutsu.

Kakashi's ninjutsu summons an earth wall where Byleth is, launching him up in the sky. Byleth used her flight to readjust herself. Kakashi ran up the Boulder and cut it in half. He then kicked it at byleth. Who just barely dodged it.

Unbeknownst to her that was just a distraction as kakashi used his clone ability to come up from behind her and knock her to the ground.
Byleth: Ah!

Byleth was laying in the middle of a crater. She saw kakashi coming down at her. Fire style! Shouted kakashi as a wall of flames went towards byleth. Who in response fire an Elwind which cut through the flames. Splitting it in half and the wind blade piercing through it until it hit kakashi. Causing him to fall to the ground.

Byleth: Are you finished? Asked byleth as she stood above the ninja.

Kakashi gets up, responding to the question.

Kakashi: Well now, you've fallen for the deadliest strategy we ninja know - One Thousand Years of Death.

Predictably, Byleth has no idea what he's talking about.

Byleth: Don't bother. I'm on complete guaAAAAAAA!

The Green haired mercenary  howled in pain as Kakashi releases the embarrassing and devastating attack on her rear. Byleth swings her blade back only to see the ninja dispel in a cloud of smoke, revealing that it was a shadow clone. She then turns to see the Copy Ninja leaping out of the crater only to find that another clone has grabbed a hold of her and pulls her underground.

Byleth struggles to escape as only her head is sticking out of the ground. Kakashi approaches her to taunt her.

Kakashi: Are YOU finished?
Byleth: Not quite.
Unbeknownst to kakashi byleth used her divine pulse to go back in time to where she was standing above him.

Byleth: Are you finished?

Kakashi: Well now, you've fallen for the deadliest strategy we ninja know - One Thousand Years of Death.

Byleth was ready for it this time. Right before her could use it, byleth moved out of the way and grabbed kakashi's hands.

Kakashi: Hm. You're more skilled then I thought.
You've countered my one thousand years of death.

Byleth: Thanks. Byleth then pulled her head back and head butted kakashi and threw him into a tree.

Byleth used the sword of creator as whip to hit kakashi. Who had dodged out of the way. The whip was so powerful that it was destroy pieces of the ground and even trees. It was hard to see with all of the dust and rubble flying around.

Kakashi then activates his Sharingan.

Kakashi: ... But I see you!

Team 7's leader tosses the book aside as he pinpoints the teacher's location. He kicks Byleth forward, causing byleth to drop her sword. As soon as byleth recovers from the blow, Kakashi closes in with taijutsu, landing several punches before the teacher of royals dodges him and used elwind to push him back.

Kakashi: Fire style!

Byleth used her cape to block the flames. She was being burnt but it was manageable. Luckily her skill kicked in and healed her.

As soon as the flames dissipate, the Mercenary gasps as her eyes turn red