Troy got out of the car. We stopped at some abandoned gas station. I wasn't going to get out. We wouldn't find any gasoline or anything worthwhile there. Otto walked through the parking lot, then moved toward the building, while I watched the whole thing from the window. There wasn't a soul around, except for us, of course. The silence was ringing in my ears. Only the occasional gust of wind broke it. After a couple minutes, Troy started walking back to the car. He had a bottle of water and a few small candy bars in his hands. I was surprised. Finding even that was already a good thing. Cheerfully jumping into the car, Troy tossed the candy bar and it landed in my lap.

"That's all there was, but I wondered why they didn't take this too?" He was opening the package in a businesslike manner.

"Maybe they figured they weren't alone in the world and should leave a couple pieces to save someone's life," I spread my hands and said it a little judgmentally.

"Yeah, well that's okay, we got supplies from those bastards that attacked us."

"Attacked because of you."

"You're not going to get any remorse out of me, Dell. I did the right thing, I'd do it again. I don't care about those people."

"That's what's so disturbing. You don't feel anything. Yes, you had to kill them, but you have no regrets! Why? You don't feel sorry for them at all?"

He thought for a moment.

"No. I don't feel pity at all. I felt sorry for my mom and sometimes I felt sorry for you. And no one else. They're strangers, aren't they? Do you think I should feel it?"

"I don't know if you have to. But I'm definitely experiencing her. "

"I'm sorry, but I don't feel it. Absolutely..."

I put the candy bar Troy had given me in the glove compartment. I was tired. It had finally hit me killing my sister. I couldn't believe it was true. I wanted to wake up. None of this could be real. But the problem is, I've grown to like this world since I met Troy. Whereas before, I used to fall asleep wishing: "just to open my eyes in the morning and realize it wasn't real," now I was afraid that would happen. I was scared to open my eyes and not see Troy. Maybe that's why I couldn't sleep properly. Or maybe it was because, we were on the road the whole time. I slept well at the ranch.

My thoughts drifted away from my sister. I didn't want to change anything. I felt bad, disgusted, ashamed, but I wasn't sorry. I wouldn't have done anything differently, wouldn't have let her kill me. So I tried my best to chase the memories aside and lie to myself "Clara's looking for Michael and we're looking for a new home." I wanted to disappear, because I was becoming like Troy.....

"We need to go back there for gas. They must have had it. And search their house again. Let's see if there are any more supplies."

"There's a mountain of bodies, are you sure you're ready, Della?"

"Let's just go and get everything we need. And we need a home."

"We'll get to Canada, then we'll..."

"No. We don't know if we'll ever get there. We need to find a house. We may not find any more gasoline along the way."

"Della, we'll find more gasoline, don't think it doesn't exist anywhere else."

"Okay, let me put it another way, I'm not going to travel anymore, look for adventures and all that, you know? I just want to live. Therefore, we need to find a place closer to the water and the forest. As soon as something like this happens, we will stop."

For a second it seemed to me that Troy looked at me with some compassion in his eyes. Then he took my hand and his gaze became serious.

"I promise you, we'll get to Canada. And if we find the perfect place on the way there, no problem, we'll stay. But until we do, we will keep going."

I nodded. Well, that was fine with me. It didn't matter where exactly, main so that we can find it place rather.

Otto started the car and we drove on. We searched Robert's settlement. There really was gasoline. And some more ammunition. It was dirty, and the sight of the bodies made me uncomfortable, although I tried not to show it to Troy.

When we finished collecting supplies and gasoline, we set off again. The road was deserted, and with every kilometer behind us, the weather became more overcast. It was pouring rain, thunder rumbled. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't.

We came across some house by the road. We saw it from a distance.

"Should we stop?" asked Troy.

"I was going to suggest that too," I managed to smile.

The closer we got, the more unpleasant the house became. It was black, shabby, and some of the windows were open and wobbling in the wind, creaking back and forth and banging against the frames.

Troy parked under an awning. Suddenly, a walker started banging on my window. I flinched in surprise. Troy started to open the door, but then I grabbed his arm.

"What?" He froze.

"I don't know," I bit my lip in bewilderment, "don't come out."

"Della, I'll take care of him and we'll go inside."

"No, let's stay here until the rain stops and then leave here right away. I don't want to go out in this place. It's kind of..."

"Scary?!" said Troy in a bass voice, and laughing loudly, he pulled me to him by the neck, then kissed the top of my head.

"No, it's just kind of gross in here. And it's cold in the house, I'm sure. A lot of the windows are open. Why get out of the car?"

Dead tapped on my window. Troy jerked to get out again, but I still held his hand.

"I've got a bad feeling about this, Troy. Stay here."

"Come on, Dell!"

"Please, just do it for me."

He shrugged, locked the doors, lowered the chair to a reclining position and leaned back in it, saying with a quiet smile:

"Whatever you say. But don't go in the house without me. I'll get some sleep."

I nodded. Troy closed his eyes and sank into the realm of sleep. I tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't. After sitting idle for a bit, I pulled out the map. We were closer to California again, we needed to take the left coast. Yeah, it was a long drive. The rain wouldn't stop, it pounded on the awning, I sighed. Troy seemed to be asleep by now. He must have been pretty tired. The dead man kept pounding on window. I pulled out my knife and opened the window. A couple seconds and his head was bashed in, he fell to the ground. I closed the window. After that, I got out of the car.

I didn't feel like going anywhere, I decided to just stand there and get some air. The house still scared me, and I stared into the darkness of the second-floor window. It was just above my eye level. An unpleasant sensation filled my brain. It was a strange feeling. But there was nothing to be afraid of. If there were people here, they would surely have shown up by now. If there were more dead people here, similarly. I stepped a little away from the car. The carport was attached to the house, so I made it to the backyard without a drop on my head. Backyard was empty. Just an overturned swing set and that was it. Not even a tree growing. Bare lawn. I hadn't been there long, the rain was starting to subside. The creaking windows got quieter and quieter. The anxiety inside me was subsiding. When the weather finally cleared, I walked over to the car. Troy was still asleep. Deciding not to wake him while I had the chance, I wanted to check the house for anything of value in the context of the situation. I entered the house from the backyard. The door was open and slightly off its hinges.

The first room inside was the kitchen. Broken plates and scattered newspapers. Nothing else of interest. I walked a little further forward. In front of me were doors to rooms and a staircase upstairs. I took the second path. With a creak as I ascended, I found myself in a huge hall under the roof. There were all sorts of bags and boxes labeled "dishes" etc. The house had probably been bought fairly recently and just hadn't had time to renovate before the apocalypse. Rummaging through the stuff, I found only a couple books and broken vases. I started looking at the books. Jean-Baptiste Molière, a collection of plays. Once upon a time, I had read them in Russian. This one was in English. I was more interested in reading something in Spanish. In Madrid I spoke almost no Spanish, there were almost no Spaniards at work in the lab. There were few friends. Aron's meetings were all Americans. He himself kind of used English more often. I could read Spanish pretty well. Oral speech was more difficult. But, alas, there was nothing in Spanish. So I took Moliere and went down.

I went downstairs and opened the door to one of the rooms. There was a bed, a chest of drawers, and a desk. I went in and looked around. Nothing interesting. Opening the chest of drawers, I decided to rummage in it. Nothing. It was empty.

I opened the next bedroom. And again nothing. Here everything was exactly the same as in the first one. Except for the desk. He wasn't there.

The third door was the entrance to the storeroom. There were hangers with outerwear. Obviously, people left here when it was warm. I saw a hoodie. She was female. After trying it on, I decided to take it with me. I took a warm jacket for Troy. I didn't have anything I needed anymore. But there were two more windbreakers and a down jacket. I was wondering if I should take them too when I heard the front door slam. The sound made me tense up. I was in no hurry to act. I froze in one position so as not to make an unnecessary sound. Footsteps were heard, then a voice.

"Della! Where are you?"

Sigh of relief, it's Troy. I ran out of the locker room.

"Look what I found! Some clothes. We'll need something warm in Canada."

"What the hell are you doing in the house?! I asked you not to leave without me!"

"The rain is over, and you were asleep, I decided to take a walk," I put the things I found on the chair next to him and went up to him.

"I thought you left me," he laughed.

I put my hand under his shirt. He was so warm that he recoiled from my icy hand.

"Hey, your hands are cold!" Troy grabbed my palms and, bringing them to his lips, began to warm me with his breath. I laughed.

"What?" he froze for a second and looked into my eyes.

"Nothing, just surprised again by your concern," I was still laughing. He shook his head. His hair has grown a little longer.

"Well, if you want, we can warm up in a different way," Otto grinned, pulling me to him. It was warm in his arms. He squeezed me so tightly with his strong hands that I wanted to disappear into this moment.

"I want you, Dell."

I wanted him too and pulled him by the hand towards one of the rooms.

He pushed my bed and began to undress. I also took off my fucking clothes. His warm body leaned against mine.

"How sexy you are... I forget everything when I see you."

I believed him. He used to kill people to find out how quickly they would turn into zombies, and now he warmed my hands with his breath. He fell in love and it made him laugh. But I don't think it will last forever.

When we fucked, I didn't care about everything around me. On who he is and what he did when he was at the military base. That he was a murderer and that he was an abuser, it didn't matter to me. It's only important to feel his dick inside.

I found everything I dreamed of in him. His charisma, courage and willingness to do anything for me excited. Aron would never kill for me. Yes, I understand that when we were together, there was another world, but he wouldn't act as tough as Troy. He hasn't even fought over me once. Of course, it's good to be a pacifist. But I wanted passion, I wanted him to be ready to kill for me, like Troy. But Aron was different. If someone approached me, he was silent and waited for me to send the man away myself. His position was passive.

"How I love you, Dell..."

"And I love you, Troy, but enough of these preludes, I want you too much to wait another second..."

Troy grinned and entered me. I groaned. He squeezed my chest with his warm palms. His pace slowly picked up speed.

"Be tough, Troy!"

He grabbed me by the neck and squeezed his hand. The way he lightly squeezed my neck aroused me even more.

"Is that all you're capable of?" I whispered it and grinned.

"Bitch!"

He slapped me. Not very much, more playful. It turned me on. I grinned again. And he struck again. A couple more minutes passed and he finished.

Troy lay down next with me and breathed heavily.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hold on any longer. It was fucking awesome."

I looked at him. His pupils were dilated.

"You're the best man in the world, you know?"

"I'm still not worthy of you."

"I've never had better sex."

"Oh, baby, don't lie. You usually cum."

I laughed. Suddenly, Troy sank down at my feet and began kissing my shin, rising higher and higher. Then his face was next to my pussy. I felt his stubble.

"Troy, stop," I don't know why, but I felt awkward.

"Shut up, I want you to have an orgasm too. Your pleasure is the greatest pleasure for me."

I listened to him and relaxed. His tongue was so tender... I definitely wanted that too...

***

I was lying on Troy's chest, he was playing with my hair.

"You know, I realized, we don't know anything about each other!" Troy said in surprise.

"What do you want to know about me?"

"How many men have you had?"

"Why would you want to know that? Will you answer such a question yourself?"

"It will be difficult to count the number of girls I've slept with. But I've never had a relationship."

"Have you ever fallen in love?"

"No. I only wanted to fuck sometimes. The girls at the ranch wanted my attention, because I'm the heir. But I didn't have feelings for any of them. It was a one-night stand. And then I pretended to hear her name for the first time..."

"Yeah... you're a real psychopath."

"You really think so? Then why do I love you? I wouldn't feel anything if I was a psychopath. And I can feel. I loved my mother once."

"Do you love me as your mom?"

"No, I love you completely differently and much more. I can't imagine life without you."

"It sounds like you're obsessed with me..." I laughed.

"That's right, Dell. But you still haven't answered. How many were?"

"You're the third person I've slept with."

"Who are the others?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"I don't know, maybe it's not necessary, but I won't rest until I find out."

"There was another man before Aron, but nothing came of it... And there were two guys I dated in high school, but it didn't come to sex with them."

"Actually, I didn't want to know. Now I want to kill them!"

I laughed.

"Did they look like me?"

"Not a drop. I've never met anyone like you. In general, it was all so empty. Compared to how I feel about you. I wish I hadn't met any of them, just to meet you sooner."

"You would never be mine if we met before the end of the world."

"How do you know?"

"I know, Dell. Who am I? I'm just a military man. And a murderer, too. You would despise me if you knew me earlier."

"I dreamed of such a passion that we have... Okay, let's get ready to leave."

"Okay, I'll just look in the basement."

I agreed and went to the car to get my clothes and prepare for departure.

A couple of minutes later, Troy followed me, carrying a box. I was already in the car. Opening the trunk, he threw it there and, to my questioning look, said:

"All kinds of tools. They may come in handy. And I also found a thermos!"

It was definitely a godsend. Boiling water is a whole story, so drinking something hot again, like tea, is a miracle.

"Maybe we should make a fire and make tea?" I shouted to Troy.

"Of course, come on", Troy came to my window and leaned on it, "but for this very hard work", he exaggerated the epithets, "I want something..."

I kissed him on the cheek.

Troy smiled. I laughed and started to close the window. When there was a small gap left, I put the matches in it. He took them out and went out into the backyard.

Troy was trying to make a fire. He did it in the barbecue, which, fortunately, was under the roof and therefore did not get wet. I went into the house to look for grill. And fortunately, I opened the wall drawer. There was a pack of tea leaves still unopened. Tea with thyme. I smiled to myself and went to Troy to pour the tea leaves into a thermos. I hugged him from behind. With one hand he "stirred" the filling of the grill, and with the other he touched my palms, connected on his stomach in a lock. We were silent for a couple of seconds, then he suddenly spoke.

"Imagine that this is our house. Now we are cooking meat on a campfire and waiting for neighbors at a barbecue. And on this swing," Troy waved the hand with which he held my palms at the inverted children's entertainment, "our children are riding," Otto returned his hand back after performing the gesture.

"I can't imagine it."

"Why?" He turned to me in surprise.

"I would never live in such a terrible house," I laughed.

"Yes, and I!" Troy looked around the building. "Аnd what kind of house did you have? Well, in Madrid."

I've been thinking about it, trying to remember. It took about a minute.

"Generally ordinary, but much better than this one. Three floors. Large windows and high ceilings."

"Did you like it?"

"Well, yes. And I also had a pool there."

"You were a rich bitch! Do you miss a lot?"

"No. I already told you, I met you. And I'm much better off than with anyone else."

"Better than with a millionaire husband?"

"If you knew what kind of relationship we really had, you wouldn't be surprised at my preferences..."

"What was your relationship like?"

"Now I understand that it was like strangers, although it didn't seem like that before. And even now I understand that I didn't love him at all. But Aron was a good man. Only, alas... These are not the qualities that help to survive now. There was no rod in it. It's probably not good to say that now... And he was rude to me very often."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to think about it now. He's in the past. It's just you and me now."

Troy turned around and hugged me.

"I'm even more ashamed now for the way I sometimes behave with you... For that incident at the ranch... Dell, I promise it won't happen again."

"Well, okay, stop feeling sorry for me. Just let's put the kettle on. It's a little cold in here."

Troy put the water on to warm up, I brought cookies from the car. About ten minutes later we were having tea sitting on the terrace.

"I want honey with this cookies..." I smiled.

"That's for sure. It's not sweet at all."

"Well, maybe there are wild bees in Canada," Troy laughed. I supported his fun, but after a couple of seconds I became serious again.

"Do you think we're really going to get there?"

"Of course. Do you think I might have any other options?"

I smiled and shook my head, finishing my tea.

"You're so beautiful."

"I wish so much that you could see me in beautiful clothes and heels. I was so happy to wear that dress and shoes in El Bazaar."

"You'll be beautiful even in a bag! I've never seen anyone more beautiful!"

"Sometimes I'm sad that you didn't know me in a previous life. You'd be crazy about my wardrobe..."

"Do you think it's important to me?"

"It's important to any man..."

"I'm not