// member : nakamoto yuta

// genre : angst, fluff, romance, fwb!au

// warning : implied smut, mentions of drinking

// word count : 3,274 words

// summary : you realized you didnt want to be one of yuta's bedroom playmate anymore.

the loud, booming music vibrating through out the four corners of the place is making your nerves pump in excitement, causing adrenaline to rush through your body and so, after downing another two shots in the bar, you stand up. with staggering steps and blurry eyesight, you made your way to the middle of the dance floor. your body was pressed up against those of strangers' but you couldnt give a care about it. your sober self will surely not like this but in your intoxicated state, having fun is all you know as of now.

your friend, one of those who you came here to the bar with, comes along after a minute, hyping you up like the good friend that she is. after twirling you around, your drunk asses laughed loudly before continuing to dance along with the music.

there was a guy who caught your friend's attention after a while, and like what you expected, she deadass turned her back on you to flirt with the guy. not like you're mad or disappointed, you're gonna probably do the same if that happens to you.

what theㅡ your body briefly tensed up at the foreign presence behind you as a pair of hand held your hips, pulling you closer against the said presence. then you caught a whiff of a familiar perfume and you relaxed immediately. smiling lightly, you placed your hands on top of the ones on your hips, leaning on your back a little.

"hi.."

a shiver went down on your spine at the low and cold voice at the side of your ear. you turn around, facing the person behind you with a grin, "..hi." you breathed out, eyes raking over the gorgeous visual of the man.

nakamoto yuta.

"how was your trip?"

"just fine." shrugging, yuta trailed his palm lower until it reached at the end of the dress you're wearing, his fingertips touching the fabric of it before he pulls it down to cover your legs slightly, then his hands traveled up to the small of your back. pulling you closer until his lips touched your earlobe, he then whispered, "i've missed you."

you smirked, hands finding its way up to yuta's nape to close the gap of your bodies, "really?"

yuta hummed in agreement, "hmm. so much."

the fingers on your hips dug roughly as he subtly grinds against you, making you feel something poke on your abdomen. your grin grew wider as you felt yourself getting excited "then you better show me how much.."

everything happened in a blur and before you processed it all, you've already found youself under yuta's silk sheets, your legs tangled with his as he had his head placed on the space between your jaw and shoulder, his nose nuzzling your neck and his calm breathes tickling you.

this isnt new to the both of you anymore. you've had him in this position for a couple of times already so it bugs you why your heart is fluttering at this sight. it is whats making you blankly staring at the ceiling when you're supposed to be asleep at this time.

just like any other arrangements some people have, you and yuta settled on a no strings attached relationship. he made it clear since the first time he conversed with you that he doesnt want anything related to romantic nor serious relationshipsㅡ just like what you also preferred.

your almost four month 'physical relationship' with him has been strictly kept just for pure physical needs and private but along with the exchange of bold flirty comments, countless hours spent with your naked bodies latched on each otherㅡ nowadays, you found yourself thinking about yuta more than you're supposed to.

this is dumb and im probably just overthinking, you thought.

afterall, what do you really know about genuine feelings when all you've experienced was just playful crushes and pleasure-based relationships? you didnt know much, that's for sure. maybe his absence that lasted for almost three weeks made me quite clingy. you reasoned to youself. yeah, that may be it.

you slipped away and off yuta's bed when the digital clock on his bedside table ticked five o'clock in the morning, soundlessly getting out of his room with your items in hand.

it was a week later when you saw yuta again in another bar. the sharp glare from the girl he was previously occupied with didnt escape your eyes when yuta dragged you to the exit, leaving the girl just like that. meanwhile, pride bursts through out your body at the thought as you found yourself smiling cockily at the girl.

while doing the deed, your nerves froze for a second when your eyesight caught an unfamiliar and fading mark on the guy's chest. it was a hickey and you're sure as hell it wasnt from you as you didnt kissed him on that area yet. somehow, that information bugged you a little more than its supposed to as it invaded your mind the whole time you were with him. afterall, it was the first time you saw a mark on him that's not from you so it bothered you a bit. you decided to leave the moment you two finished on your actions, earning a whine of disapproval from yuta.

"why wont you stay?"

"i still have some things to do." you grunted, slipping your spaghetti-strapped, fitted, black silk dress back again as quick as you can.

"y/n, its literally three in the morning.."

"i need to be early tomorrow at work. i need to go, yuta. see you when i see you!" you forced a playful smile on your face before fast-walking towards the door of his room, almost tripping at your carelessness and due to the high heels that you're wearing.

yuta didnt contact you for five days after that. not that you're expecting anything but your stubborn mind keeps on hoping to get anything from him. you didnt wait long though because at lunch, you finally received a news from him. it wasnt really him but rather your bestfriend (the only one who knew about your arrangement with yuta) asked you about him.

"are you still seeing yuta?"

rolling your eyes sarcastically, you mumbled, "you know that we're not anything other than acquaintances."

"acquaintances that fuck - sure, okay.."

you squinted your eyes at her in warning as she lets out a laugh, fishing her phone out of her pockets, "so anyways, the reason why i asked you is that.. this, this photo right hereㅡ yeah, see the guy on the pic? he looks like yuta to me." she explained, handing you her phone which shows a screenshotted story.

you examined the photo meticuluously, eyes trained over the little details on it. the setting was in a room and the one that took the photo mustve been laying down as it shows on the angle, even the sheets of the bed were included in the picture. then there was a guy whose back is turned against the camera like he's sitting up from the bed. the photo was slightly blurry but you're certain it was yuta. the back profile, the hair, and the bracelet on his wrist - it was indeed yuta. you're certain that it was him as you'd know that bracelet anywhereㅡ you were the one who crafted it and he asked if he could have it that one time he slept over your place two months ago. then your eyes darted to the caption with a small font on the corner of the photo that says "what a fun night."

quickly shoving the phone back to your friend, you admitted, "yeah, that's him."

"oh cool." she muses, taking a sip from her drink, "didnt know he's fucking Rikaㅡ you know, that girl who used to unreasonably hate me from college."

you didnt know how to take that information in. first, the hickey on his chest and now, the screenshotted story. the both of you didnt really sat down and talked through things about your status except for the main thing that feelings should not be involved in whatever you two have. but the topic of fucking someone else other than each other? yeah, you clearly missed out on that. wow, that was dumb. it shouldnt matter to you, given what the relationship you two have but just thinking about yuta bringing other girls to bed is making your blood boil unknowingly - you're aware and you're annoyed at it. im not supposed to be feeling this way, for fuck's sake.

[02:18 pm] nakamoto yuta:
y/n!! y/n, guess what?

you smiled a little at the message yuta texted you a day after, vividly hearing his excited voice through message. you sent him a reply quickly,

y/n :
yeah, what is it?

nakamoto yuta:
i've just secured a deal with a foreign company!!

oh, it must be the one that occupied him these days, you concluded, remembering that yuta once mentioned that he's finalizing a proposal for a foreign company that's why he had to take a trip a few weeks ago. being the youngest director for a well-known company with pressure surrounding him is really tiring, you can guess.

y/n:
really? that's nice. congratulations!! :)

nakamoto yuta:
y/n.. what's up with you?

y/n:
nothing. why?

nakamoto yuta:
you were supposed to say 'im proud of you!'

nakamoto yuta:
you used to say that everytime i tell you an achievement. are you not proud of me anymore?

y/n:
no, silly! i am.

y/n:
im proud of you, yuta.

your conversation with yuta went well after that and you've managed to push any other thoughts off your mind.. well, until the time you met with him again. you saw each other at a restaurant that time. you were there with your friends while you supposed yuta was there to celebrate their new deal. you two flew off the place without waiting for your friends.

you ended up at your place this time. all was well and you've finished your deed contentedly but what got you bothered this time were the marks of fingernails that trailed from yuta's shoulder blade down to the small of his back.

that wasnt mine, you voiced out in your head, watching yuta walked to your bathroom to get something to clean you with. he let you top him tonight, you freaking rode him. your hands were on his shoulder the whole time so its just simply impossible that the markings were your doings.

"you need to go." muttering, you avoided yuta's eyes as you focused on wiping yourself off from any mess.

"what? why?"

a lie easily went past your lips, "my mother would come in the morning, she cant see you."

"cant i stay even for a few minutes? its just one in the morning though.."

"well, do you want her to see you naked on my bed again?" you raised a brow, talking about that one time you let yuta stay over at your place until morning and your mother unexpectedly visited and saw the both of you sleeping on the bed. well, you had to find a way out of your mom's judgemental gaze and upcoming interview so you lied and told her yuta's your boyfriend.

yuta smiled sheepishly, shaking his head as he lets out, "uh, nope."

the hickey, the story and the scratches on his back kept on flashing back on your mind, invading your thoughts through out your days. it leaves a bitter taste on your tongue, making you realize that you're certainly not okay with the thought and possibility of yuta fucking other girls. just exactly how many girls are in his disposal other than you? it was okay that he just sees you as a warm body for when he's bored or in need of a de-stresser but being one of them? one of the options? being one of yuta's bed toys? thats something you cant accept and brush off.

and so, you decided to do the lamest but the easiest and first thing that comes to your mind about what to do with your newly acknowledged understanding.

you decided to ghost yuta.

you stopped messaging him. you stopped replying to his texts. you even stop going out at nights to party just so you could avoid him. whenever your work ends, you decided to go straight home to avoid the possibility of bumping into yuta.

luckily, you thought yuta quickly picked up on what you're trying to do because just after a week of hearing nothing from you, he stopped reaching out and bugging you. afterall, you realized you dont really mean a thing to him other than being a fun when he sees fit and you're sure he has some other girls to do what you used to do with him anyway.

it went on like that for almost three months before you concluded that he'd already forgotten about you and finally, you could go back to your party life.

oh, how wrong you were.

"missed me?"

your whole body freezes at the familiar voice as a hand snakes around your waist at the same time. the defeaning music that vibrates against the walls of the place slowly trickles down on your ear and all you can hear is yuta's breath on your side. regaining your composure, you blurted out, "..just barely."

"barely?" yuta let out an amused chuckle at the side of your ear, "i've missed you though."

trying to remove yuta's hands on your waist, you stated, "really? well, that's nice but i need to go."

"what's the rush, baby?" the guy didnt let up, only tightening his grasp around you and pulling you closer against him, "where are you going?"

"none of your business.." you grumbled, "now, let me go."

instead of doing what you've told him, yuta twirled you around to face him instead, "i want us to talk first."

"there's nothing to talk about."

"oh really now?" with a sarcastic smile, yuta being the straightforward man that he is, proceeded to ask, "why did you disappear?"

"i didnt disappear - i was just busy working."

"we both know im not talking about your work, y/n." yuta replied lowly, seemingly getting impatient.

"i didntㅡ i dont know what you're talking about."

"why did you ghost me?"

shrugging, you simply answered. "because i came to my senses." you successfully yanked off his arms off of you, "i need to go now, it was nice seeing you though."

"you're not going anywhere." and yuta's already dragging you to the exit.

too tired to argue, you let him do so, arriving at the bar's parking lot in a few wide steps. while yuta drives through the almost empty streets, the both of you fell into a thick silence. you arrived at yuta's place a few minutes after and he's back at dragging you inside the place.

"why did you even bring me here? there's nothing for us to talk abㅡ"

"why did you ghost me?"

again with that question.. briefly pulling your lips in a thin line, you spat, "i just dont like what we were doing anymore, that's why."

with a narrowed gaze, yuta then accused, "are you seeing somebody else?"

"..what?" you let out a dry laugh, "you're accusing me now?"

"because why else did you ghost me? disappeared like a bubble? why else did you get bored of me?" he reasoned stubbornly, "you're seeing some other guy now, arent you?"

"that's gold coming from the guy who literally has a collection of girls to use.." you scoffed at the sight of yuta's surprised face, "i just dont want to be one of your toys, yuta." sighing, you turn around to reach for the door's handle, ready to walk out.

"what if i were to tell you that you're not one of them?"

you close your eyes shut briefly, telling yourself to keep your emotions at bay. turning to face him again, you looked at him with fire in your eyes, "you cant just lie to my face like that." although you wanted to yell at him, your voice came out rather weak and shakey, "i know what you've been doing with random girls so dont try to play with me."

"t-themㅡ they're.. i did that because i.. i needed a distraction." yuta never stutters so your eyes immediately flickered up to stare at him. yuta is known for being composed, confident and headstrong but the yuta infront of you now is almost an alien version of him, looking so baffled and vulnerable.

"i thought the whole point of our arrangement was that we have each other when we need a distraction from work and stressㅡ so i dont really understand what you're saying now." you pointed out. that was discussed the time he brought up about being in a sex-only relationship with you which you agreed on, the both of you were supposed to be each other's go to stress-reliever.

"no, that's not it." he blurted out, avoiding your gaze, "i..i got scared." he starts, breathing heavily as if he's calming himself down, and the sight feels like you've been