Chapter Twenty-Three

Hot tears burned Audrey's eyes as she struggled to slide into her discarded blouse and split skirt that she had left out here in the woods after undressing. 

Once dressed, she grabbed her ankle boots, sat down upon a large gray boulder and buried her face in her hands as her boots fell to the forest floor. 

Audrey couldn't explain what was causing her tears.. Stress over the direction her life had taken and the many threats looming over her head as well as Penelope's played a big factor, but there was more. Audrey realized her heart hurt. Was she in love with Ance? No, she really didn't think she was--at least not yet. But she wanted him and she wanted to be in love again. 

Audrey had been lonely a long time, though she hadn't realized she was lonely until Ance had come along. He had reawakened her womanly heart and made her crave the passion, as well as the companionship, that only a man could provide. Then he had rejected her... and it stung and hurt and caused that ache of loneliness to worsen. 

Audrey knew she was being ridiculous and irrational but she couldn't seem to stop herself from being either! Life was turned too upside down lately to get herself set straight!

"Here." 

Ance's deep, gruff voice appeared so suddenly and without warning that Audrey let out a startled cry and nearly tumbled backward off her boulder. She blinked several times, swiped her arm over her tear streaked face and glared up at him as her heart struggled to slow itself. 

"Shouldn't you be keeping an eye on Penelope?" she snapped, angry at being caught in such a vulnerable state. 

Ance's broad shoulders shrugged as he tossed the bandana he'd been holding out for her and Audrey caught it quickly. "Penny will be fine. The horse can keep an eye on her." 

"The horse?" Audrey muttered, as she mopped up the last of her tears. 

Instead of responding, Ance dropped to one knee, picked up Audrey's boot in one hand and gently grasped her ankle with the other. Audrey swallowed hard as she trembled. "What are you doing?" 

"Putting your damn shoes on. You seemed to be having trouble," Ance grumbled without looking at her. "Is there a reason you took off running like a brain addled coward and worried your damn daughter and me?" 

Audrey's first impulse was to bristle at the insult but she held back her sharp retort as he tenderly slid on her second boot, and instead she focused her attention on his final few words. 

"You were worried about me?" she whispered. 

Ance snorted and shoved himself back to his feet. The fact that he was still shirtless was not lost on Audrey's roaming gaze. "Of course I was." Ance grumbled. "You've been bristly for days then you tried to turn into a seductress just before you took off running into the forest wearing nothing but your goddamn underclothes." Ance shook his head. "And I find you sobbing out here like a person who's lost their best damn friend... what the hell is going on in your head?" 

"Well I..." Audrey began but Ance raised his hand to silence her. 

"Keep it simple. I ain't got the patience for a bunch of feminine blah, blah, blah." 

Audrey blinked several times and then burst out laughing. She was quite certain she must have resembled a crazy person as she clutched at her stomach and was unable to quell her loud guffaws. 

Ance shifted his feet and pulled off his hat before shoving his hand through his thick brown hair. "What the hell's so funny?" 

"You," Audrey gasped, swiping more tears, these of laughter, from her cheeks. 

Audrey was more than a little surprised when the corners of Ance's lips lifted in a smile and his deep, rumbling laughter mingled with hers. "I can honestly say I've never enjoyed being laughed at quite so much." Ance admitted. "Now, why are you laughing at me?"

Audrey stood up and smoothed out her trail worn blue blouse. "You are the most blunt and honest person I have ever met and I find it refreshing." 

Ance's brow creased before he plopped his hat back on his head. "You do?" 

"Yes," Audrey sighed. "You don't sugarcoat things or tell me what I want to hear. You're honest and I can trust you. After dealing with crooked businessmen while running my ranch and putting up with men like Rodger, your harsh honesty is welcome." 

"Well..uh..thanks." Ance's hands fell to his sides. "So, why did you run off?" 

Audrey chewed her lip as she stared into the trees. "You know why." 

Ance grumbled under his breath. "Because of the other night?" 

Audrey threw her hands up and growled out her frustration. "I want you, Ance! It has been a long time since I've wanted to be with a man. To have him touch me, taste me.. Hell, talk to me! You say you aren't what I need, and, frankly, you aren't what I expected to fall for in a man but..." Audrey flopped back down on her boulder and her shoulders sagged. "There ya go." 

Silence reigned for several painstakingly long minutes. Audrey stared down at her boots, taking note of their worn state, and silently wishing she'd been born with the ability to read minds. 

"Damn..." Ance muttered. Audrey glanced up at him through her lashes and realized he was staring hard at her as if she were some great puzzle he was trying to solve. "You said you liked honesty so here it is. I want you, Audrey. I want to be the man to touch you and taste you. The thought of any other man doing those things causes me to see red. I still say I'm not what you need. I can't promise I'll settle down and live in one place because I need the freedom of open range and sky. I can't promise to love you. What I can promise is that I'll be mean and hateful most days and downright grumpy on others. I won't promise to be faithful..." 

"Then no." 

Ance's eyes widened with surprise and then narrowed. "I knew you'd change your mind." 

"You're wrong. My mind is still made up. I want you and I want the companionship of being with a man and sharing things with him." Audrey stuck her finger into his bare chest. "I would happily accept you just as you are, Ance. Your grumpiness, your moods, your withdrawn nature. I would accept your roaming spirit and, though it would hurt to watch you leave when the trail called your name, I would understand and never hold you back; instead I'd be there waiting whenever you happened back my way. I can even accept your hesitation to promise love because I can't say that I love you either." Audrey somehow managed to remove her finger from his hot flesh. "But I will not be with a man who can't even respect me enough to offer faithfulness. I can assume you'd want me to be faithful to you.." 

Ance growled in response and Audrey shrugged. "Unless you can offer me faithfulness in return, I won't be with you, Ance. No matter how hot and bothered you make me." 

"Hot and bothered...?" Ance mumbled. 

Audrey took a step back as his gaze turned hungry. "We should be getting back to Penelope." 

"I don't think so," Ance countered, grabbing her arm and holding her in place. "We've got more to talk about..." 

Audrey's insides clenched as her legs trembled. "Talking isn't what you have in mind." 

Ance nodded and his gaze drifted down to her lips causing her to cease her chewing "Hell no it isn't." 

Audrey wanted to give in to him but couldn't... "Ance, if you want to be with me, you'll be with only me. Until you're willing to agree to at least that much, you can consider me off limits." 

Ance's deep blue eyes narrowed. "Audrey..." he warned. 

"Are you going to let me go or force me?" Ance released his hold on her and she nodded, willing he heated body to calm itself. "We should be getting back to Penelope," Audrey repeated and this time when she turned to walk away, Ance didn't stop her. 

***

Damn her. Damn her and every other woman in the world straight to the fiery pits of hell! Ance had never in his life been so pissed off, confused and downright frustrated! 

Audrey wanted to kill him! That had to be the answer. She wanted him dead... though he couldn't see what good that would do the woman. Surely she realized what she was doing to him. His body ached for her and his cock throbbed in his damn pants....

Stubborn headed female! 

Faithfulness? She was hung up on a little thing like faithfulness? Who the hell was faithful in this world? Surely not any person in any relationship he'd ever seen... She could accept all his other claims that he'd tossed at her hoping to scare her away but got hung up on the damn word faithful. 

Would Ance want her to be faithful to him even if he didn't love her? Even if he was out riding trails and away for long stretches of time? 

An image of Audrey being touched by another man, another man's lips on her lips as their bodies became tangled up in sheets had Ance's fists clenching and his head pounding. 

Yes. Yes, he wanted her to be his and only his... 

So it was only fair to give her the same in return. Honestly, he wasn't sure why he'd said that to begin with. Ance wasn't a man who laid with many woman. He was always riding the trails and only visited the brothels a few times a year. It was more of a boredom killing activity than much else.... None of those women had ever lit him on fire the way Audrey did with just a simple look. 

Ance sighed and rubbed his face. Was he ready to take that step? If he laid with Audrey it would be stepping into a world that Ance had shied away from his entire life. He'd be part of a family whether he liked it or not.. Could he be that man?

Ance slowly made his way back to camp but he stayed on the outskirts and simply watched Audrey and Penelope. Penelope cast several curious glances at him throughout the day as he remained separated from them but Audrey seemed bound and determined to ignore he existed altogether. 

Ance watched them make headbands and necklaces from twigs and leaves. He listened as they made up songs and told wild tales about Indians and walking on clouds--the latter came from Penelope of course. Ance's heart swelled at the love he saw between mother and daughter. Ance hadn't' realized that something like that existed.... Was love real? Hell, he already knew the answer to that. But was he capable of it? Hell, he knew that too. 

Penelope had taught him that he could love and that love was something real because he loved that girl with all he had. But could he love her mother? Could he take that step? 

Darkness began falling and Ance got a good fire burning and took a seat beside Audrey and Penelope. Penelope never paused in the story she was telling but Audrey stiffened at his sudden proximity. 

Ance was shaking like a damn leaf as he took in a deep breath and mustered up his courage. He'd thought hard that day and had come to the only conclusion he could. These two were a part of him, they were his, and he was theirs... whether he liked it or not. 

Ance put his lips to Audrey's ear and felt her tremble. He swallowed hard and prayed he wasn't jumping into something that he'd regret. Closing his eyes, Ance let his breath wash over her tender skin and whispered, "There won't be any woman but you."