We go back out into the living room and Kenna is watching our faces carefully. I give her a soft smile as I sit next to her, and Holden acts like nothing is wrong.

"I wanna talk to you guys," Holden finally says as he motions for me to walk into the kitchen. Kenna instinctively stiffens, but relaxes when Holden smiles and grabs Quinn's hand.

"I finally got the courage to ask her...We're officially dating," he grins as he leans down and kisses her on the cheek.

And the joy exuding from both of them makes me smile.

"That's awesome!" I say, making Holden's eyes twinkle. He looks at Tate skeptically, but relaxes when Tate wipes fake sweat off of his brow.

"I thought I'd be dead before you did it...But if I hear you two having sex, I'm gonna take a shot of the vodka you have hidden in that cabinet to knock me out cold."

Holden rolls his eyes and shoves Tate playfully. "How about you DON'T drink alcohol, huh?"

"Didn't hear you promise NOT to have loud sex," he grumbles as he turns back to his phone.

"Oh-Kayyyyy," Quinn interrupts, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I'm starving, and you need to know now that if you keep me fed, I'll continue being nice."

"Oh really?" Holden grins as he brushes some of her auburn hair off of her shoulder. "And what sounds good?"

"Does your clan like Mexican food? Lorena and I have a deal. I give her free drinks and food, and she reciprocates!"

I nod enthusiastically, and so does Tate. We haven't eaten there once since we've been here, because Holden said it was too expensive.

But I've been dying to eat some Enchiladas and Queso

"Kenna, do you?" Holden asks as he turns to her at the couch, and Tate lets out a rude noise.

"Who then hell cares! She came here UN-invited! Get me tacos in my belly now, or I'm gonna raise hell!"

"Tate, I'm one snide comment away from punishing you. Knock it off!" Holden snaps.

Tate rolls his eyes as Kenna nods. "I like Lorena's"

"Then it's settled," Quinn says as she hops up on the counter and dials the phone to order.

~*~

Kenna and I sit on my bed and eat our food, trying hard not to get Queso on the comforter.

"I can't believe Holden let us eat in your room," she says around a mouthful of rice, and I lick my finger as I nod.

"Me too. It's kinda fun."

"So what did you tell him?" She asks as she scrapes her chip along the top of the queso cheese.

"I didn't. I told him that you needed to stay tonight, and that's it."

"And he accepted it?"

I sigh as I wipe the grease off my fingers and onto my leggings.

"I think he's suspicious that you're being abused. He said that if you are, he has to report it or he will lose his job. I really really think that if we just tell him, he can help."

"No, Julianne," she says in such a harsh tone, I blink.

"Kenna, he saw how you're walking. He doesn't know who is doing it, and I won't tell him...But I don't think there's much I can do to stop him from...."

"That's just great," she interrupts as she slams the rice container on my bed and spilling its contents out. "What the hell am I supposed to do? My ass is already black and blue! It will be purple by tomorrow. And she wasn't even mad today!"

"If Holden gets you help, then she won't be able to hurt you again."

She chuckles darkly as she picks at her quesadilla. "You've been really sheltered, Julianne. The only thing he will do is get me in more trouble. I wish he'd just butt out!"

"He cares about you, Kenna...."

"Oh stop. He only cares because we're friends. I've had him as a teacher for two years, and he's never been so willing to help before."

"He only noticed because we're together so much."

"Well, maybe that needs to change," she mutters as a tear slips down her cheek.

"W-what do you mean?" I ask, feeling like my heart is about to get ripped out of my chest.

"I mean, that if being friends with you is going to get the shit beat outta me, then maybe it's not worth it."

"You're my best friend," I whisper as my throat feels like it's swelling shut.

"You're mine too...I've never had such a good friend before..But I can't..If Holden is catching on and threatening to turn me in, then I don't think we can be friends."

"Kenna," I beg as she stands up stiffly and wipes her hands.

"I love you Jules, but I can't risk it. I can't be friends with you anymore."

She slings her bag over her shoulder and opens up my window.

"You can't go home with her!" I cry as I stand up, feeling like I'm going to pass out.

She's the best friend I've ever had, I can't lose her!

"I won't. I'll find a place to crash. I love you, Julianne. Thanks for keeping my secret, but I can't be friends with you anymore. Not now....But I'll always love you."

She kisses my cheek as she climbs out, crying in pain when her butt touches the windowsill, and climbs down onto the porch. She doesn't even look over her shoulder as she walks down the dusty path, and my sobs become audible when she disappears into the tree line.

People always leave me! It doesn't matter what I do, I'm always alone after a while. This is why I choose to be alone. I can't leave myself. I'm all I have, and it is safer to protect my heart.

Because this hurts too damn much

~*~

Holden finds me laying by the window in the fetal position, crying so hard my throat is raw and my chest hurts.

"What the hell," he says gently as he kneels down next to me and scoops me up, rocking me back and forth in his lap.

"She-she's g-gone and it's y-your f-f-fault!" I cry as I start to feel woozy from the violent sobs.

"Gone where?" He asks as he holds onto me tighter and starts stroking my hair.

I can't answer him, so I simply push my face into his armpit and sob even harder. Even in my horrible sadness, I'm insanely relieved that he's wearing deodorant.

I cry for so long that I fall asleep, weak and broken in his lap. I feel him picking me up and laying me down on the bed, and then I hear his strained voice.

"Do I call the cops, or wait until she tells me what happened?"

"I don't know," Quinn says softly from the doorway.

"I'm giving her a half hour, and then I'm waking her up. If that girl went home to her abuser....."

"Maybe she's going to crash on the beach tonight," Quinn offers.

"And that's even worse. With all the drunk tourists? She could be raped. Nope. Jules can sleep for twenty minutes, and then I'm waking her up. I don't feel good about this one, Sylvie."

"She said we can't be friends," I say in my fog, not even recognizing my own voice. It's so raw, it burns

"Why not, sweetheart?" Holden asks as he comes back over to me and kneels so he's eye level to my face.

"Because of you," I say as I get the strength to open my eyes, and see so much pain and concern on his face that for a split second, I don't hate him.

But then the hatred comes right back

"I don't understand, Julianne."

I sigh as I sit up shakily and rub my temples, my head throbbing horribly.

"I told her you were becoming suspicious and weren't going to drop it. So she said that if you turn her in, then whoever is doing this is just going to make it worse...And she can't risk it. So she broke up with me, and I hate you. I HATE YOU! She was my only friend, and because of you she doesn't want me! I'm never good enough, and this time IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!"

I fall back on my bed and put my pillow over my head, crying all over again. I don't move the pillow off of my face until I hear the door softly shut, and I hide in my solitude for a long time.

It isn't until I hear Holden talking in the living room that I sneak out of my room and into the hallway.

"Yeah, I called my boss first and he told me to call you....That's all I know, man. I don't know if she went home, or hiding out on the beach...But my gut is telling me that it's bad. I should have called you weeks ago, but I didn't want to make such a big accusation without more evidence.........If you find her, can you bring her here?....Seriously? This girl means a lot to this family and I won't sleep tonight knowing she's with DCFS. Sean, come on! Just let her stay here while you do whatever you need to do! The mom is at work....You can't just bend the rules this once? This is shit! So instead of being with people she knows, she has to be scared and alone with people she doesn't? Please, man........"

Holden curses loudly as he throws his phone across the room. "Sean won't budge, huh?" Quinn asks softly.

Holden shakes his head and slumps on the couch. "Tell me I did the right thing........" he says as he clears his throat, fighting emotion.

Quinn sits next to him and grabs his hand. "Right now I'm sure it feels like you're not...But when she is safe, then I promise it will be worth it. It might be hell for a while, though."

"Think she will ever forgive me for this?" He finally asks quietly.

"Kenna?"

"Julianne. She still doesn't trust me, and this just......Well, I think I've just buried it six feet under now. I destroyed it all."