Moving on
~
August 16th, 2019
Southampton, New York
Thirty-Third Week Pregnant

Vera's P.O.V.

7:49 pm.

It's been almost over two months since we have gotten the first letter from Xavier. We never received the second one. Anxiously waiting for days, we figured that it was never to come. I was worried something bad had happened, but everyone else assured me it wasn't. I was aware that they wanted me to be stress-free. I had to be. I had no other choice.

I accepted that it was nearly impossible to get Xavier back which did tear a part of me, a part of all of us.

I hadn't heard much from Aleksander or Ezio either. His lawyer contacted mine, requesting that Ezio has no custody issues with my child. Also, he requested for a paternal test. All this tension caused me to fall into depression. Leone and I are having a few communication problems because of this. I will admit it's my fault, but I can't help myself to try and fix my relationship with him.

Evalena and I talk a bit more than I do with the others, but again, not as much. I'm sure she wants to have a friend who is, or in my case, about to be a mother, but I have no desire to try either.

I am reaching thirty-four weeks in my pregnancy in a few days. I have about three-to-five weeks left. This journey seems like it started yesterday and I can't believe I've made it this far. I wonder how life would be if I decided with the abortion. I am eight months pregnant now, and it was unbelievable to say this out loud.

He's been active whenever I feel down, attempting to make his mother happy. At first, the kicks felt strangely weird, but as I got used to it, it became the most amazing feeling in the world.

Dr. Archer confirmed my delivery date is October 8th. I couldn't wait for that day but I felt nervous as well. I've been hoping for a natural delivery rather than a c-section. I was terrified of the idea of surgery and home birth.

"You're going to have to sign these papers soon, Vera," Leone mumbled, his fingers grazing the custody papers. I didn't respond as I scrolled through my phone. I checked the belongings placed on my bed off my checklist on my phone.

"Vera?"

"What? I'm busy making my hospital bag." I replied with no emotion. He sighed, shrugging. "Do you need help with anything?"

I shook my head softly, but a bit too soft to where he didn't notice.

"Where am I going wrong, Vera? I'm trying with you, but you aren't with me." He sighs, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I responded," I retorted. He shakes his head. "Not just this time. This past month you've locked yourself away. I want to stay with you and try, but it's getting difficult." He tried to reason with a sweet voice, but it irritated me further.

"Then just leave," I mutter under my breath. His eyebrows arose. "Is that what you want?"

I shrugged, grabbing the outfits I wanted my son to wear when he leaves the hospital. I wasn't sure between the two choices. One choice was a flannel full-sleeved onesie with a matching beanie, and the other was more comfortable that was short-sleeved and was able to let him move his legs around.

I wanted him to be comfortable, so I decided when my parents throw his coming home party, he will wear the flannel onesie.

I found a luxurious apartment in the city a little while ago. I decided to rent it for a couple of months, planning to move in a little while before the baby is due to see if I enjoy the place. Since he could be coming at any time this month, I've had most of my things unpacked.

I had the most beautiful view of the busy city from my window. I wished it would be perfect for my little boy too. My bedroom at my parent's house was emptier since I packed my essentials. I decided to keep my bedroom at my parents' house the same. I had a feeling I was going to visit often, so I requested to install a crib in my bedroom.

Leone suggested that I could move in with him, but it was too soon in our relationship. And judging by where we are right now, it isn't going to last long enough.

He abruptly left my room in a slightly aggressive manner. I couldn't blame him. I was giving him mixed signals.

I glanced at myself in the mirror from the side, cupping my enormous pregnant belly. It felt as if I was going to explode at any moment. My nights felt longer as the bump was unbearable to sleep with. My son is pushing on my bladder which wants me to use the bathroom every so often, and eventually, it gets tiring.

My mind wandered to his father, Ezio. I cup my belly, recalling the memories from a month ago. From then on, I've let him go. There was no hope from him.

~
July 18th, 2019
Manhattan, New York
Twenty-Ninth Week Pregnant

Vera P.O.V.

4:02 pm.
One month ago. . .

Storming into the elevator, I clutch onto the folder, wrinkling the papers inside. I felt steam leave my ears as I slammed the top floor button. I huffed, impatient as the elevator escalated slowly.

My eyes skimmed over the black folder I had in my grasp. It contained papers I received from Ezio's lawyer. I was furious that he requested for a paternal test. He doubted me.

The doors opened, revealing the neat, dark neutral color palette of his penthouse.

"Hey, you must be—" Ezio's voice filled my ears as I stepped off. "What the fuck are you doing here?" His eyebrows were knitted while he wore an aggressive expression.

"I'm expecting someone, so get the fuck out." He was to turn away, but I pulled him back, slamming the folder on his chest. "The hell is this?"

His angry expression morphed into a confused irritated one. He slowly opened the folder before he rolled his eyes. "It is what it is." He muttered, handing back the folder, but I made no moves to grab for it.

"You expect me to believe you when you came back into my life at a good time and to ruin it with you and this stupid baby?" He shouted. I almost flinched, but I stood my ground. "I dare you to call my son fucking stupid again," I muttered through my teeth.

He clenched his jaw, biting back his next comment. "You should've expected this. I told you before that I don't want anything to do with this baby. You ruined my relationship—"

"—How the hell did I ruin that?" I interrupted, getting irritated.

"Because of your baby—"

"—that's also yours," I muttered. He clenched his jaw impossibly hard, sighing aggressively. "Not after you sign those papers. And you will." He commented.

"What papers? There's only the paternal one." As soon as I said that, I realized that there was more to the paternal papers. It made sense. He heard the tone of my voice as it lowered out towards the end, noticing I came to a realization.

"Great. We're done here. Now, get the fuck out and the only way we'll be speaking is through our lawyers." He muttered.

"Fuck you, Valentino," I add, flipping my middle finger back at him after I snatched the folder from his grasp.

As soon as the elevator doors closed, separating us, I burst into tears, for a reason I did not want to admit yet.

~
August 17th, 2019
Southampton, New York
Thirty-third Week Pregnant

Vera's P.O.V.

11:35 am.
Present; One day later. . .

"Your apartment looks beautiful." Lilly comments, amazed by the view. I smiled as she helped me bring boxes in. Since my pregnant belly was in the way of doing most activities, I was put on doing the bare minimum. It was frustrating not to do most things on my own anymore, but I have about a month to go.

Soon enough, my son will be in my arms. I would be able to have his tiny hand curling around my finger. I would be able to caress his soft cheeks before planting a juicy kiss on them. All I wished was to deliver a healthy baby boy.

"One more month, huh?" She attempted to start a conversation. I nodded, pursing my lips. "I wish he was still around," Lilly mumbled into the air. I didn't reply, not wanting to add more to the pain as she mentioned Xavier lightly.

I've been quieter since Xavier was taken from us. He was the light to our world, but it was snatched from us, leaving us within the darkness. He was like a brother I never had. I wish every night that wherever he was, he was happy and healthy.

We unpacked my boxes without saying another word for the rest of the day. Our lives were dull for the past month, and we couldn't change that even though we wanted to.

My bedroom consisted of my bed so far, nothing else. My small vanity needed to be built along with a dresser, but it was too late in the night to unpack any more.

"When are you officially moving in?" Lilly asked, throwing another empty box in the corner of what is going to be my living room. I brush a strand of hair behind my ear. "Once I finish with my bedroom and kitchen, I'll move in."

She nodded. "A week at least?" I reply in a questioning tone. "I just want to move in already."

We fell onto the small beanbag chairs that weren't correctly placed where I wanted it to. We were in the empty yet open-spaced living room where there were plenty of other boxes to unpack.

"This place reminds me of ours back in Cali," Lilly mentioned. I nodded, admiring the color palette of my apartment. The walls were bright white I was planning to paint with oak-hardwood floors. Our apartment had maple-hardwood floors instead, but I like the more earthy tone. It's a slight change.

"How are you and Leone?" She asked, giving me a side glance, knowing too well how Leone and I were.

I didn't reply, looking down at my clasped fingers.

"Vera, I understand that you don't feel like doing a lot anymore, but that shouldn't be projected onto him. You know very well that he doesn't deserve that."

I bite my lip, feeling tears beginning to cloud my vision. I sniffled, meeting her eyes. "I don't know what to do. He's been treating me so well, but I don't feel the way like I used to."

She sighed, her eyes showing sympathy. "It's not your fault. So much has been piling on you and you're pregnant which makes it more difficult. I'm saying that you'll have to eventually figure out where you stand with Leone. If you feel like you don't fit well together after something like this, then it's not meant to be."

It took a moment for me to sink in her words. "You mean I should break up?" I whispered, feeling guilty for suggesting that. She shook her head. "I'm saying to figure it out. If that's what you come up with at the end, then go for it. You have to make these decisions for yourself and for this little guy here too." She says, rubbing my belly.

He started to kick against my uterus, making us smile. "I'm sure this is the first time I've felt him kick hard." I giggled, feeling his feet peddle.

We enjoyed the rest of the night with feeling his kicks against my belly, chuckling at his responses to our conversation.

• • •

hi guys!

how's social distancing and quarantine for y'all? for me, it could be worse so i'm thankful that it's not bad right now. kinda going crazy with my family and finding it extremely hard to find motivation to do any work since i got online school now.

hope you guys enjoyed this chapterrrrr. let me know how you all felt abt it!

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- alli