Terms:

*Pithashree – a respectful way to address one's father

*Putra – another way to say 'son'

*Vijaya Putra – son of Vijaya (Arjuna)

*Angavastra – a scarf type of garment worn by men usually to cover their upper bodies

*Subhadra Nandhan – son of Subhadra

As night stretched over the kingdom of Hastinapura, an eerie darkness settled in the minds of the royal residents of the palace. Hearts remained shattered from the unpredicted bolt of lightning that had struck them, in the name of the happenings of that evening in the royal sitting room.

Maatha Kunti walked into the royal dining room to see Draupadi and Subhadra directing the cooks to put away the untouched dinner foods.

"Putri Draupadi! Putri Subhadra! Has no one had dinner yet? Why are you both putting everything away?"

Draupadi lifted her gaze to meet her mother-in-law's, as Subhadra averted hers – unable to stop the tear that escaped her eye.

"How can any of us sustain an appetite after what happened today, Maatha?" Draupadi softly questioned, as she lifted the tray of laddoos and passed it to one of the cooks to store away.

"Everyone refused to eat, dear Aunt," Subhadra whispered as she wiped away her tears with the back of her palm.

"Arjuna and Mitra? Have they come out yet?" questioned Kunti with a strained voice.

Subhadra shook her head indicating that they hadn't.

"Aarya has not left his chambers since the evening," she murmured while struggling to hold back tears.

"And my Mitra still refuses to come out of hers, Maatha," Bhima spoke up as he trudged into the dining room. "I've been pacing back and forth in front of her chamber doors for hours now."

Draupadi quickly wrapped her arms around a devastated Subhadra who sobbed uncontrollably.

"I can't see my husband and my child suffer like this, Maatha," she cried. "Why has this come upon us? My daughter was absolutely fine all day. What caused her to react as such this evening?"

Kunti shook her head as she wiped away her own tears that had escaped her aged eyes.

"My Pari did not look well when she walked into the sitting room this evening. Something must have gravely affected her prior to that."

They all silently nodded in unison, understanding that something must have happened in between breakfast and that evening – which had led to the conflict in the sitting room.

"I am going back to Mitra's room," Bhima spoke up breaking the silence. "I want to make sure someone is there; in case she decides to finally come out."

As Bhima was about to turn towards the doors, Draupadi called out to her Aarya, making him halt in his steps. She hurriedly grabbed a handful of laddoos from the tray and offered them to her husband, who was well known for his voracious appetite. How would Bhima – the one who craves a snack in between his dinner and breakfast to satisfy his hunger, be able to sleep on an empty stomach?

A sad smile formed on Bhima's face, as he shook his head indicating that he did not want the them.

"Starving all night is something I can bear, unlike my angel's sorrow. When she hasn't eaten a morsel of food, how would I be able to eat this laddoo? Even the sweetness of it would taste bland to me while she grieves on an empty stomach."

As an endless cascade of tears slipped past her beautiful eyes, Draupadi silently watched her husband walk out of the royal dining room towards the inner chambers of the palace – currently housing the other broken hearts of the family.

Arjuna stumbled around in the darkness, unable to sense what was surrounding him in the vicinity. Cries of women could be heard from all directions, yet his eyes were unable to see anyone. 'Aarya! Aarya!' he heard the wails of women surrounding him. The ever-familiar wrenching smell of bloodied flesh reached his nostrils, making him want to throw up his stomach contents.

''Pithashree!'' called out a choked voice, loud and clear in the dark room. Arjuna whipped around to see a glowing light fall upon the body of a young boy laying stiffly on the floor. Yet, his chest was rising and falling in an irregular pattern as he gasped for air.

"Pithashree!" he called out.

"Abhimanyu! Putra!" screamed Arjuna as he ran towards him and dropped to his knees beside the young prince. Dhananjaya's hands trembled as he gently lifted and placed the head of his loving son on his lap, as the tears escaping his eyes wet the forehead of Vijaya Putra. Abhimanyu raised his bloodied hand and let his fingers lightly graze his father's stubbled cheek.

"Pithashree, I'm sorry I could not be with you for longer and serve you. Such a joy was never destined for me."

"No, my son! Please do not say that! Please don't leave your father!" sobbed Arjuna as he cupped the bruised face of his dear son.

Abhimanyu smiled as blood oozed out the side of his cut lips, listening to the sorrow-filled words of his father. The father whom he was only able to see after the first 13 years of his life. The father whom he was only able to be with for a short period of time before being snatched away by the hands of death.

"Abhimanyu's time on this Earth has come to an end, Pithashree. I wish to stay with you much longer, but that is not possible. As painful as this ending is for me, Pithashree...I've learned something very valuable from this," he managed to choke out as he spluttered on the blood leaking continuously from his mouth.

"What is that, my son?" Arjuna whispered in a broken voice, as he shakily dabbed the spilling blood with his dove white angavastra, while endless tears poured from his eyes.

Abhimanyu grasped his father's hand in between both his own as he stared up at Gandivadhari with shining eyes.

"Life on Earth is short and unpredictable, Father. We spend so many days and sleepless nights dreaming of a tomorrow or years down the road, which may never come. We can only dream about tomorrow and mourn about yesterday- but what is the point, when we no longer have or will have control over either one? I, like many, have realized this the painful way, Father. For how many years I have been dreaming of meeting you. I harbored endless desires to spend as much time with my loved ones post the war to compensate for the years I've missed. Yet, my tomorrow was never destined for me. None of our tomorrows are guaranteed, Father. Please don't make the same mistake I did. Live each and every moment of today, which is the only gift guaranteed for us. Hold close all those dear and loved ones with you – in this moment. Only time will be able to tell if they will be with us in the next," he spluttered as another bout of blood spilled out of his lips.

Gasping for air, Dhananjaya watched Abhimanyu give him one last smile before closing his eyes for an eternal sleep.

"Abhimanyu... Abhimanyu!" Arjuna called out, patting the scarred cheeks of Subhadra Nandhan.

"Abhimanyu!!" screamed Arjuna as he hastily sat up in bed, physically and emotionally distraught by the dream he witnessed just moments ago.

A startled Subhadra, who was asleep beside her husband, woke up to see him sitting upright in bed beside her, and sweating profusely.

"Aarya! Aarya, what happened? Did you see a nightmare?" she murmured as she quickly dabbed away the sweat beads housed on his forehead with the end of her silk dupatta. Arjuna shuddered as she gently laid her palm over his broad shoulder.

"What happened, Aarya?" she questioned him silently, as she gently rubbed his shoulder.

A lone tear rolled down Arjuna's already tear-stained cheeks as he whispered in a barely audible voice, "Abhimanyu."

But the voice fell loud and clear on Subhadra's devastated ears as her vision blurred with tears. Four years. It had been four years since her husband had these devastating dreams. Both husband and wife, the unfortunate parents who had lost their young son in the battle, sat together – providing each other the solace their hearts desired with silent tears.

Finally, unable to bear the silence any longer, Subhadra wiped away the stray tears lingering on her cheeks with the back of her palm and spoke up, "Go to sleep, Aarya. It was just a dream. You haven't slept properly over the last few days."

Giving in to his wife's insistence, Arjuna slowly laid himself back on the plush bed, and stared at the elaborately carved designs on the ceiling of their bedroom. He had displeased the goddess of sleep by occupying himself with stately affairs and not catching more than a few winks of sleep for the past few nights. As revenge, she had deprived him of her blessings of peaceful sleep tonight. Unable to cause his Subhadra any more heartache by staying awake, he let his eyes close to will the night away in solitude.

And the face that came up before him, in the darkness of his solitude was none other than the apple of his eyes. The beat to his heart. The spark to his soul. The oxygen to his breath. The 'I' to his identity now. His lips unconsciously curved into a sad smile on their own accord as he saw the smiling face of his Mitravinda before him. The only medicine capable of healing his aching heart. 'After all, why would he teach me? I'm not his Abhimanyu.' Another stubborn tear slipped past his shut eye and rolled down the side of his face – hitting the soft pillow beneath his head. What had made his dear one utter those words? What had he done to cause such a thought to form in the pure and selfless mind of his child? Had he failed as a parent? Did he unconsciously say or do something that had given her the impression that he favoured Abhimanyu over her? If Abhimanyu was his body, Mitra was the blood pumping through that body. If Abhimanyu was his heart, Mitra was the beat to that heart. How would he survive without them? How could he ever differentiate between them? The moment Yudhishthira had brought up the topic of chakravyuha training, Arjuna thought he would lose his mind. He lost his Abhimanyu to one chakravyuha ploy before. He would not risk losing his Mitra at any cost. 

Oh, what his heart would do right now to have her here in his arms now. To rub her back soothingly and tell her that she means more than the world to him. Yet the sane part of his mind admonished it telling both of them that the child needed some alone time right now. He could not barge on her immediately after somehow being the cause of her heartache. As a troubled sleep finally decided to bless itself upon his fatigued being, Arjuna subconsciously whispered the one name that had become the reason for his very existence now, "Mitra."

Endless tears rolled down the cheeks of the Kuru princess laying on her bed, and her open-mouthed sobs were muffled from the world by the soft and plushy pillow hiding her face. How had her life turned into such a chaos? All these days she had lived with the sole belief that she had lost one father, but God had given her another one – her Arjun Baba. She thought she meant the world to him. Was she just blinded by her deep desire to be accepted as a child by someone? 

Yet, today the discovery of the diary and its contents had shattered the tower of hope and belonging she spent the last four years of her life constructing in her heart. The growing guilt was eating her alive. Did she end up replacing Abhimanyu's position? If Abhimanyu were here today, then would she still have had Arjun Baba? Even though both her heart and mind were keenly focused on sorting the confusion regarding such questions, she realized her body had other plans as the night grew older, with her eyelids becoming heavy and droopy. With a heart grieving with pain and a mind firing pessimistic thoughts, only one word and thought escaped the lips of Vijaya Nandhini as sleep overtook her consciousness.

"Baba..."

"Baba..."

"Mitra!" gasped Vijaya as his eyes fluttered open. Despite being in a room further away from the Princess, he could feel it in him that she had called out to him. 'Hold close all those dear and loved ones with you – in this moment. Only time will be able to tell if they will be with us in the next,' Abhimanyu's words echoed in his head. 'Your child needs you!' screamed a father's instincts as he quietly slipped out of bed without waking a sleeping Subhadra.

To Be Continued...

And that's Part III of Abhimanyu's Diary! Just a couple more parts to go before we move on to the next chapter of the story. Please do comment your thoughts about the part and what you think is going to come up in the next one - I have planned a small surprise for you all in the next part :)

Please do vote if you feel the part is worthy and thank you again for all your support!

Special thank you to Kalkispen SHAHIDAAkhtar7 and chirpy_ib for nominating DaanveerPutri in the 2020 Golden Rose Awards - your support means so much! 

Loads of love,

Geitha