5: Listen to What I Say

Two weeks later, Gus was crammed on a plane headed back "home."

She didn't care that the world's largest man who hadn't taken a shower this century was her seat mate, nor did she care that there was a baby crying directly behind her because she was headed back to New York, with a job.

Mind you that job involved a pay cut and was working with the movie unit on a probationary period, but she was getting her badge back. Gus could only hope she could get some semblance of her life back.

Touching down at JFK, Gus sped off the plane and waited impatiently for her bag, catching sight of a familiar face in the crowd. Brown eyes met hers and a smile spread across both there faces, "Shel!don," she called rushing over to him.

"Lindsay was going to come, but she got called out," he said after giving Gus a quick hug, "That's all you got?" he said pointing at her one medium suitcase.

"I travel light," Gus volleyed back.

"So how are things?" Sheldon asked carefully once they were in the department SUV.

"Er, um, I'm not sure," Gus finally stumbled out, "I feel like I had the worst and costliest summer vacation ever."

Sheldon laughed, "Well, we are glad you are back, even if you are being shipped off to Siberia."

"Supposedly it is temporary, I hope so" Gus responded with an eye roll as they pulled up to her building.

Sheldon saw Gus' face change, storm clouds passing across her eyes, "You want me to come up?"

"I'm a big girl, I'll be good. I'll see you tomorrow" Gus called slipping out of the car.

Gus let herself into her apartment. It smelled stale and closed up. The air seemed heavy and matched her mood as she looked around. Mail was piled high on the table, Mrs. Potter more than happy to have brought it in.

The living room seemed huge with no couch in it and her book cases looked liked a mouth with missing teeth with Flack's items removed. Sighing she decided to just change into pajamas and head to bed early.

Stopping in her doorway, sobs once again racked her body as she realized she didn't have a bed or a bed partner anymore.

Gus stared up at 1PP feeling about as lost as she had two years ago, but at least having some clue as to where she was going this time. Of course she wasn't going to get the same warm welcome she did back then, but at least she was back.

Gus checked in with her new lieutenant, who gave Gus her gun and credentials back with little fanfare as he handed out her assignment. "No uniform?" Gus asked with great relief.

"Nope, have you listed as on leave, you didn't loose rank or time. Plus you were working with the NOPD, weren't you?" the lieutenant asked.

Gus nodded, happy to still be on an upward career track, but also confused by the news. As far as she had heard from Stella and Daddino, Gus had quit and was listed as a re-hire. Had someone pulled strings? It couldn't have been Mac, he had been in London and still was.

"Did you get swamp water in your ears or something, Broussard?" her lieutenant snapped.

"Sorry, sir," Gus said, bringing herself back into the real world.

"Whatever. Just so you know, you don't get the perks of a partner over here in the Unit," he smirked.

Gus felt her blood boil, but she should have known there would be more than a few comments made. Hell, considering there had been such a wide pool on her and Flack, Gus could only assume that news of her bolting and Flack moving out had reached just as wide.

"Probably put it in a damn news bulletin," Gus muttered as she stormed out of the office.

Gus was signing the cruiser back in at the end of her shift when she ran into one of her least favorite homicide detectives. "You leave homicide just to be able to drive?" Thatcher joked.

"Thatcher, Lafferty," Gus nodded at each of the detectives with her head high and her shoulders squared.

"See, this is what happens when a woman always has to wear the pants. Especially when she should be in a skirt," Lafferty leered at her and added, "on her back."

"I see you didn't get a personality transplant over the summer, Laff," Gus said, attempting to remain calm.

"Yeah, well I am shocked you managed to get a tan down there in the swamp, but you still look a little yellow to me," Lafferty snapped getting up in Gus' face.

Gus yelled right back, "screw you, Lafferty."

"Well what do you expect Broussard, you turned tail and ran. No better than the coward cops in your precious New Orleans," Lafferty hissed at her.

Gus was about to come out swinging, but Thatcher held her back, "Let it go Broussard. Tommy, knock it the hell off," he said stepping between them.

"Sure, stick up for her, ain't like I am your partner or anything," Lafferty spat out, stressing on the word partner. Gus bristled, but held herself back. "Have fun not being a real cop with the movie stars," Lafferty dug in again.

Gus closed her eyes and mumbled, "I gotta go." Turning back briefly, Gus called, "Nice see you Thatcher. Go to hell Lafferty."

Gus walked away from the precinct, trying to keep her face blank and her emotions on lock down. Gus wondered if she had made yet another mistake in even coming back.

Gus had only taken a handful of steps away from the building when she heard someone calling after her, "Hey Broussard, ya think ya can sneak out ya first day back without comin' by the lab?"

Gus turned with a fake smile plastered on her face and sadness gripping her heart. "Hi Danny," she chipped, not moving any closer, "you're looking well."

"Well, I'm looking well?" Danny exclaimed mockingly, "You actin' all fancy since you got put on the Unit?"

"Hardly," Gus snorted, "though it is better than getting stuck on crossing guard duty with SSTU."

Gus relaxed slightly with her remark, but stiffened again when Danny's expression turned serious, "really Gus, how are ya doing?" he asked, surveying her, she did not look well.

Gus made a slight face, "It's been a rough couple of months."

"Tell me about it," Danny laughed.

"How are you doing, Danny?" Gus asked, her face full of concern.

"Surviving, can't wait to get back in the field. Being stuck in the lab is killin' me, but whatcha gonna do?" Danny shrugged it off.

"The PT's giving you a hard time?"

"PT's, OT's, Every t's. I don't know how Flack managed it," Danny quipped and then seeing the look on Gus' face had the urge to reel the words back in.

They stood in awkward silence for a long beat when Gus saw the exact reason for their silence step out of the precinct looking for his friend. Danny's back was turned away from the tall approaching figure.

Gus made her face blank and turned to hail a passing cab. "I gotta go, Messer. See you around" she called hurriedly, sliding into the cab.

Danny shook his head, wondering why the sudden departure, "Good talking to you, Broussard," he joked and held up a palm to the cab. In doing so he caught sight of Flack. "Oh," Danny said knowingly.

"So she is back," Flack said following the cab with his eyes but not his head, his jaw tight.

Danny nodded, but didn't say anything. Flack gave a slight tilt to his head and squared his shoulders.

"I take it you haven't talked to her?" Danny remarked.

"Not since she told me it was over," he said though a clenched jaw.

"Is it?" Danny asked, still not believing it.

Flack sighed, "I'm too old for games, Dan-o."

"Sure she was playing them, Don? I mean, Gus has had more than a little to deal with the past coupla years."

"Whose side are ya on?" he said, anger creeping into his voice, even though it was as much at himself as it was his friend.

"Didn't know we were having to pick" Danny snapped.

Flack felt beat down, a feeling that he had felt many times the past couple of months, "This is what she wanted. I'm done" Flack replied with finality.

Danny look at him for a long beat. "If ya sure."

"I'm sure," Flack replied, feeling anything but.

"Okay then, let's go get a beer," Danny said walking off, wishing it wasn't the case.

Gus was attempting to relax through yoga and failing miserably in her seemingly half empty apartment later that evening when a knock sounded at her door. Annoyed at how whoever it was got in to the building, Gus unfolded her self and answered the door to a stern looking Stella.

"Stella, uh, hi," Gus said leaning against the door frame and wiping sweat from her face.

"Uh, hi?! I manage to not only not get you fired but placed out on leave and you don't even come by the lab on your first day back? A lab which, I might add, I had to put back together without the assistance of your globe trotting uncle," Stella remarked pushing her way into Gus' apartment.

Gus took a deep breath, "it was you?"

Stella all but rolled her eyes at the younger woman, "Yes it was me. I wasn't about to let you throw your career away because you had to go blow off some steam or whatever it was you had to do. Are you done with that by the way?"

Gus could do little more than nod, her eyes following Stella who made her way to the living room like she was about to sit down on a couch that wasn't there.

Stella shot Gus a curious look as Gus chewed on her lip, "Flack's" she said softly.

"Well you managed to make him into even more of a rough around the edges cop than usual and get him into his own apartment where he was to pay actual rent," Stella said with a smile, trying to discern what was going on in her friend's head.

"Kudos to me, not what I was really trying for though" Gus articulated.

"What were you trying to do?" Stella questioned.

"You got me," Gus shrugged, "trying to figure out where I belong, I guess."

"And that is here?"

"Couch less and bed less and stuck with prima donnas on the movie unit, but yeah, here" Gus rushed out.

"Have you talked to Mac lately?" Stella asked with caution.

Gus shook her head, "Can't say I really wanted that lecture."

"You deserve it, and then some kiddo," Stella's reply was firm but caring.

Gus felt her eyes swimming with tears, "Believe me, I know I do."

Stella felt some of her resolve crumble, no matter what she had planned to tell Gus this evening, she was now certain Gus had said it to herself with much more venom than Stella could ever muster. The girl looked like she had been to hell, and judging by the open bottle on the coffee table, still wasn't quite back yet.

"You should call him, I am certain he is worried about you. He does care about you, Gus, we all do," Stella moved in and patted Gus on the arm.

"Almost all," Gus whispered so low that Stella did not catch the words, though she did catch the meaning.

"Maybe you just needed some time," Stella intoned.

"And space. Got that now, didn't I?" Gus' voice wavered.

"Why don't you stop by the lab tomorrow, I know a lot of people want to see you," Stella said, heading back toward the door.

Gus nodded, "If I don't get stuck out bringing coffee to some overpaid actor," she said opening the door.

"Take care of yourself, Gus" Stella replied before she stepped out into the hallway.

"What for?" Gus asked to her empty apartment as she headed back to her glass.

Chapter 6: Wearing Bones

Unable to even think about sleep with sad thoughts haunting her heart and soul, Gus punched in a long stream of numbers into the phone on her desk, the covers on the daybed not yet disturbed.

"Who is this?" she heard a gruff but alert voice snap.

Gus took a long intake of breath, "Damn, Uncle Mac, I'm sorry, I forgot about the time change."

"Gussie?" Mac questioned, wiping his face, happy that his second middle of the night call was from someone he knew. "Where are you?"

"Back in New York" Gus replied, suddenly feeling unsure of her call and calculating it was nearing 6am in London.

"Heard you did a runner," Mac replied, sitting on the edge of the bed in the hotel room.

"So did you," Gus quipped back, pain creeping into her voice.

"I took official leave, Gus, a little different. From what Stella told me, you are lucky the NYPD even took you back" Mac chastised.

"Took me back right into the movie and tv unit," Gus sighed.

Mac had to suppress a chuckle, served her right, "and how is that going?"

"Better than New Orleans," Gus remarked, her voice heavy with despair.

Mac recognized the tone, knowing that Gus was slipping back into the hole he thought she had climbed out of. "How are you holding up, Gussie?" Mac asked finally.

"I've been better, no shock there. I really screwed up this time, didn't I?"

"You certainly aren't winning many brownie points, but you got your badge back, didn't you? And things will get better, just give it time," Mac remarked, unsure of whether he should lecture or comfort his niece, "and lay off the liquor" he added.

Gus stared at the glass beside her, how did he always know. "How is London treating you?" she asked, changing the subject.

"London is interesting to say the least," Mac answered without revealing much information.

"When you coming back?" Gus questioned, suddenly missing her uncle more than she had all summer.

"I see, you don't call all summer and now you want to know when I am coming back?" Mac teased but his voice seemed strained. "Soon probably, I am running out of leave time."

"You sound tired Mac, I'll let you go," Gus said, not knowing what to say next.

"Get some sleep yourself, kid," Mac said hanging up with a shake of his head.

Gus did not heed Mac's advice and stumbled into the precinct the next morning sucking down the largest black coffee known to mankind. Her phone rang immediately as she entered on the way to check out that day's celeb-stalker assignment. "Broussard."

"Broussard, get your ass to my office now" Daddino yelled.

"Loo, you ain't even my loo now, what could I have possibly done to piss you off?" Gus winced back.

"Just get in my damn office, I know you are in the building!" Daddino yelled again.

"Can't wait!" Gus dripped and turned toward homicide.

Daddino was waiting against his door frame giving death stares to the few detectives in the pit.

"Sit down and shut up!" he roared as Gus approached the doorway with eyes straight ahead and praying Flack was not in the pit. She complied as Daddino slammed the door shut and turned the blinds closed.

"Time for my departmental beat down?" Gus joked with her voice flat.

"I told ya to shut it!" Daddino said, sitting on the front of his desk and looming over Gus. She gulped and remained quiet. "How many hours did you clock in New Orleans?" Daddino asked, leaning back slightly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Gus shrugged and stared at her lap, "I dunno, a lot."

"Over 1,300 in 12 weeks" Daddino replied, grabbing a file on his desk, "you are listed on the records of 23 homicides, 7 rapes and 44 assaults."

"I got yanked from the 2nd to the 6th, what do you want me to say? And more importantly why are you telling me this?" Gus was beyond confused.

"Because you didn't even flinch when a guy cooked his girlfriend's head in a pot or when a 26 year old got her throat slit in a bar by a stranger or when you took down a known drug dealing murder without backup! Because there is something not right with you, Broussard!" Daddino leaned down toward her, as Gus slowly moved her eyes up to meet his.

"How do you even know this?" Gus asked quietly, remaining impassive.

"Because I requested your file and talked to your Loo there and your partner. They were both impressed and scared by you," Daddino moved to the seat beside Gus.

"I compartmentalized. What do you want me to say, Tony? It was a shit job and someone had to do it, god knows no one was clamoring for the job," Gus' voice was steel.

"Except you. You left here for there," Daddino pointed out, poking a finger toward her badge.

"Yes, I did, and I think you have just verified I got my punishment there and now I am getting it here," Gus went to stand, "now if you are done reviewing my gruesome summer that I would like to forget, I am certain some spoiled starlet is waiting on my to escort her from her trailer."

Daddino stood with her and pushed Gus back into the chair, "you ain't going anywhere Broussard. I am not going to loose you to the frigging' unit. I need you here in homicide," Daddino said with more than a bit of authority.

Gus curled her lip, "I am assigned to the unit."

"No, you aren't. First off, it was a test to see if you were really willing to come back to the department no matter what. Secondly, you don't play well with celebrities. Thirdly, you are are damn good detective and I ain't gonna see you throw that away while you have your little identity crisis or whatever the hell it is that you are having," Daddino ticked the points off on one hand while still pinning Gus down in her chair.

Gus looked at at Daddino, her eyes cold, "Have you talked to any of the guys about this, I am not sure they really want me back in the pit. Lafferty made that more than a little clear yesterday."

"Screw Lafferty, he can barely close a case with a full confession these days," Daddino sneered.

Gus closed her eyes for a second and opened them saying, "I am sure you have heard the rumors, well, truth actually."

Daddino smirked, "About you and junior? Wouldn't need to hear anything, he has been a royal jackass the past couple of months, great for interrogation though. Besides, since when do you let a few rumors hold you back?"

"Well just who the hell am I supposed to partner with then?" Gus snapped.

"No one for now, you need to get your head straight but Brass is whining about our unsolved rate, so I am sticking you on cold case duty for a while. And you need to go through a full eval and workup," Daddino threw the last sentence out there and waited for the explosion.

"You are sending me to the shrinks?" Gus seethed.

"Hey now, I thought they were psychologists" Daddino joked.

"How is that supposed to help anybody, like I don't know how to play the game, I have the same degree as them for god's sake," Gus snarled.

"Which is why I am sending you to a contract shrink, works with the feds, off site, figured it would be best for everyone that way," Daddino tapped Gus on the head with the file he had sent up from New Orleans.

"I'm not crazy, Tony," Gus protested.

"I know, but you ever think that maybe you got a lot of shit to sort though instead of 'compartmentalizing'?" Daddino pointed out as he walked to the door.

"Don't condescend me, Loo," Gus snipped.

"I ain't, now get your ass over to the lab, there are some cases Stella pulled for you," Daddino said opening the door.

"Thanks, Loo, great chatting with you" Gus remarked as she stepped out into the pit without looking.

"1300 hours, Broussard, Jesus!" Daddino called after her.

"What do you think that was about?" Montgomery asked Parker from his desk.

"She clocked 1300 hours in 12 weeks down in New Orleans" Parker replied, slightly in awe.

"That must be some nice overtime," Montgomery whistled.

"I don't think it was about the money" Parker said, chewing on his cheek and looking over at Flack who was deep in his paperwork.

"She must be out of her frigging' mind then. You always like 'em crazy, Flack?" Montgomery asked. Flack gave a low growl and shot Montgomery an icy stare.

"I would shut up now, kid" Parker suggested.

"Fine,