Maybe this hiatus is over? Maybe it isn't? Maybe this account is close to being done? I'm not sure yet. Read the note at the end. (P.S. This is a continuation of the last imagine. C/M/G stands for Crush's Mystery Girl.) Always On My Mind and Falling Out Of Love both by Chester See are great songs to listen to for this update.

It was C/N's birthday. You and him has kissed after you had broken up with your boyfriend.

You two had talked and tried to rekindle the feeling that once was there between you. But you still were not sure where you guys stood.

"Y/N hello," his mother greeted you.

You walked into his house with the biggest smile on your face. The room had a feeling of happiness to it.

"Where is C/N?" you asked.

"Oh he's somewhere around here," she said.

You smiled and then walked over to his room. You peeked in the crack and saw that no one was in his room. 

You flicked on his light and walked in. You placed his present on his bed and sighed. You hoped he liked your gift. 

Before you walked out, a picture of him and a girl caught your eye. You picked up the frame. 

He was hugging a girl tightly. You felt your heart drop. 

C/N didn't have a girlfriend, did he?

*****

"Thank you everyone so much for coming," C/N thanked everyone. 

The party had started an hour ago. You couldn't get that picture out of your mind. Who was the girl? Was she just a friend? 

A million questions ran around in your head.

When you and C/N broke up, you had only dated one person and that was G/W/L. Did C/N and that girl date? What if they still were?

A knock came from the front door and C/N got a huge smile on his face. He got up quickly and rushed over to the door.

Whoever it was, he pulled them into a long and tight hug.

When he pulled back from the hug, you saw it was in fact the girl from the picture. 

You clenched your hands into fists, but then tried to calm yourself. You didn't want to jump to conclusions. Even though she was his type.

"Guys this is C/M/G," he made eye contact with you as he said that. 

Your best friend seemed to sense the tension between you and the "couple". She put a hand on your arm in reassurance.  

*****

"Happy birthday to you," everyone began to sing.

At C/N's last birthday party, you had sat right by his side and held his hand. Now your spot was taken by that girl. She had her head on C/N's shoulder and was staring at him with love in her eyes. 

Now you knew how C/N felt when he saw you and G/W/L holding hands.

"Make a wish!" you shouted before he blew out his candles.

He looked over at you and gave you a big smile. C/M/G didn't have any emotion on her face as you and C/N stared at each other across the table.

Your best friend and you started to crack some jokes so you couldn't hear C/N and C/M/G.

"What did you wish for?" C/M/G asked him.

C/N didn't say anything. He just stared at you as you titled your head back and let out a laugh.

"To fall in love all over again," C/N mumbled quietly.

But you didn't see the way he looked at you. You didn't hear his words.

*****

The party was starting to come to an end. Only a few people were still there.

Since there was only a few people there, someone suggested for you guys to do karaoke. 

C/N had just finished singing Funeral by Lukas Graham. And you felt yourself falling a little more for him.

"Who's next?" he asked, sitting down next to you.

His arm brushed yours and you felt your whole body go numb.

"I'll go," C/M/G said.

She walked over to the karaoke box and plugged in her phone. 

The music for 7 Years began to play. She began to sing and you turned your attention to C/N.

"Hey," you poked his dimple.

"Hi," he booped your nose.

You just stared at him. You felt everything was coming back into place in your life.

You thought C/N was starting to lean in, but he was yanked up by C/M/G.

She began to sing to him and you just rolled your eyes. 

Maybe they were just friends?

But at the end of the song, she leaned in to kiss him. C/N's eyes got wide and he pushed her away.

"Why would you do that?" C/N asked.

"Oh because you're my boyfriend silly," she interlocked their fingers. 

"I think I'm going to be sick," you muttered as you got up.

You felt numb as you stumbled towards the front door.

"Y/N please don't go," you heard C/N say from behind you.

The tears began to fall as you slammed the door behind you.

*****

You barely made it to the end of his street, when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

"Fuck off C/N," you warned.

He ran in front of you and stared at you.

"Y/N listen to me she is just a friend," he reached out to touch you, but you flinched away.

"A little heads up would've been nice," you snapped.

He clenched his fists.

"Did you give me a heads up when you and G/W/L showed up at my house?" he raised his voice.

You felt your eyes begin to tear up. C/N had struck a nerve.

"Oh shit Y/N," he wrapped his arms around you.

You felt his tears fall into your hair.

"We really are quite a mess," he muttered.

"Yeah we are," your grip around him tightened," But you're my mess."

He looked down at you. Then he placed a kiss on your head.

"I love you," he said," I never stopped. And I want to try so hard to make this work. I've never wanted anything in my life so badly. You are it for me."

"I love you so much," you whispered.

And for once in your life, no words needed to be said in that moment. It was too perfect. 

You both were no where near perfect, but together you created something beautiful. 

Without C/N in your life, your world became plain and almost meaningless. Now that he was back, you could focus once again on things that mattered to you.

It's shorter than usual and I'm so sorry for that. I need to write, but it's hard to focus. So, I am actually not sure what I am going to do. I wasn't even going to update but I wanted you guys to know I was okay.

Anyways, I am officially single after almost 3 years of being in a relationship. Awesome. The reason for the hiatus is because I just am having trouble writing about love at the moment. And I'm just kinda bleh about everything.

No, don't kill him. I did it. I just, it hurt too much to stay with him. And being in that relationship, I missed out on so many things.

I just, I let yall know cuz this is like a blog too. But yeah, it has been 10 days today. I'll be okay.

I was even asked to go to prom by this junior "friend" of mine. But that is a story for another time guys. 

I am not sure when I'll come back or if I'll even leave. I don't know. Just, I love you guys so much. 

Funny. The girl who writes so much about love is brokenhearted from her own actions.

All the love - K.