When am I gonna get past this? And move on? It wasnt just one person that broke me, it was a buildup, all of it being bottled inside, and then just one little thing caused the walls to come tumbling down, when they couldnt hold it in anymore.

Sometimes I wish someone would read this, and know im not okay, and just talk to me. Try to help me. And yet...nothing. Nada. Nobody does, because nobody cares.

That moment when the reality of just how little you matter, comes crashing down on you, and the only way to release the pressure of it all, to silence the demons for a little while, it to cut.

I know alot of people say "People who cut just want attention, they dont really have problems." Well you know what? Youre wrong if you think that.

Because its serious, and painful, and dangerous, but it helps. It helps you cope. I slipped up after 3 months of not doing it, and I felt alot better.

Ten. Little. Slashes.

And I know its wrong but right now I feel a little better. I know that I should stop, but I really dont have a reason to.

And the fact that nobody cares enough to even try to help me...it dosent help. Not ib the least.

Im not happy, im not okay, im nit fine, im not normal, but what I AM is tired. Tired of feeling worthless, tired of lying and saying "Im fine" tired of being ignored.

But I cant stop. And I dont know why.

Its like a never ending void where the demons take away my will power, and force me to do the things I wish I didnt do.

So in reality...I just neex a reason to stop. A reason to live. A sign. Somebody to live for, or I may just end it tonight. If you. think im worth it, if you want me to live...well...this is it. Now or never, inbox, comment, I just need to know if I have anybody to live for, any reason to live, if not...if you dont care enough...well I understand. I'll be waiting for awhile.

Someone to live for, who loves me, or just likes me, dosent hate me, or thinks im (to quote my mother) "A stupid, worthless, muthafucking peice of shit"

thats all I need.

Just somebody to live for..