My parents support my decision to fly back to Korea with Chan. I tell them that it's only going to be for a few days and that Chan and I agreed that I will book a hotel nearby his dorm. My parents have always been supportive of me, so I'm not surprised when they say that they think it will be fun.

Kevin says he wants to go, but school is a bitch, at least in his words. But I promise I would send him pictures and text him every day while I'm there, which seemed to make him a little happier.

When I tell Nao and Ryuu of the sudden plan, Nao screams and urges me to tell her all about it when I get back. I assure her I'll call her while I'm there, and I nearly go deaf when she continues to scream into the receiver. Ryuu, however, was a different story.

"You're going to Korea?" He had asked me, alarmed and stricken.

"Yes."

"With Christopher?"

"Mhm."

It was obvious that Ryuu had tried to hide the disappointing scowl that pulled at his lips. "Is that safe for you to do?"

I arched a brow at him. "Why wouldn't it be?"

His frown deepened, but he didn't say anything else.

At his silence, I laughed lightly. "Ryuu," I said, but Ryuu didn't look amused. "I'll be fine, okay? I'll text you."

Ryuu didn't seem like arguing was the best idea, which I was thankful for. Instead, he nodded slowly, his face still contorted into worry. "Okay," he had muttered.

I smiled tenderly and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

It seemed to soften his expression. "Be safe," he told me.

I beamed. "I will!"

Ryuu and Chan didn't exchange any words, but I didn't miss the look they gave each other either.

-

I don't think I've ever packed so quickly in my entire life, only grabbing what I need, as well as a numerous number of jackets and hoodies because apparently, it's freezing in Korea.

We leave Japan the next day in the evening, Chan pulling me by my hand throughout the airport terminal and giggling along with him as we try to avoid the prying eyes of the public as best as we can. I think it worked. Chan and I wore masks, so hopefully It'll be fine.

Kevin and my parents wave us goodbye at the airport, and I promise I will text them as soon as we land.

But on the other hand, Chan doesn't text ahead, doesn't message his managers, or any staff members, or anyone important that he'll be taking me back with him to Korea. He only escorts me onto an economy flight and traps me between him and the window. He may have also sent Felix a selfie of us on the plane. We both laugh at the scream he texts back before Chan switches his phone off to airplane mode.

I can't help the sinking feeling of my stomach for the duration of the flight, my leg bouncing up and down as I fiddle with the drawstring of my hoodie, nervousness settling over me as I think about the consequences of my sudden visit. Chan seems to notice my worry, because he reaches over and takes my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

I peer up at him sheepishly, but his eyes are closed. I can't seem to hide the smile that threatens my lips.

But I squeeze Chan's hand back.

-

The first thing I notice when we land is the snow. Korea is pretty and dark and cold. Even through the window of the airplane, I can see the lights of Seoul sparkling down below, and I can't help but watch those lights the entire descent.

As soon as we exit the aircraft, Chan holds me by my hand and doesn't let go. He's holding my hand at the baggage claim. He's holding my hand on our way to catch an Uber outside. He's holding my hand the whole ride to his dorm.

We don't have a plan. I know we don't have a plan. We never really had a plan. But suddenly, I'm not as scared as I was on the plane anymore. Now that I'm here, taking in the beautiful night life of Seoul city, I can't help but feel thrilled. Excited.

Somehow, for some reason, just the thought of sneaking around South Korea with famous idol Bang Chan is strangely exhilarating.

And familiarly comforting.

When we arrive to the dorm, it's nine in the evening on the twenty-ninth of December. It's cold, dark, and different, but Chan's hand is anything but that.

"I thought we were heading to the company," I whisper to him as the driver leaves us on the curb.

"I think it would be better if we do it first thing in the morning," he lowly tells me back. "Are you tired?"

I pause before saying, "A little."

Chan is nodding, and he leads me into the building. "You can stay with us just for tonight."

I'm a little glad I'm wearing a mask, because I'm sure I'm going apple red at his words. "Okay."

He's giggling a bit, the cute way he always giggles, and his eyes crinkle. "Don't worry. It's just for one night. The company won't know."

I nod, feeling my chest going warm. "Okay," I say again.

Something is fluttering deep inside my soul as we enter the building, and I sigh a little at the warmth it provides as we shuffle out of the snow and out of the cold. I'm trudging my small bag of luggage beside me as Chan takes me up a few flights of stairs before he stops outside of a door.

It's at this moment when I realise I'm about to enter SKZ's dorm.

Oh goodness.

I think my heart is about to explode.

Because behind this door are the group of people I've been dying to see again for months.

I'm not ready.

Suddenly, it's a little hard to breathe.

When Chan turns the doorknob after fumbling with the keys for a moment, my heart is loud in my ears, and my palms begin to sweat. I've never felt so numb before, my fingers twitching in anticipation. I'm just trying to calm the racing of my heart when Chan finally pushes open the door. And as their dorm comes into view, I'm really not sure what I was expecting.

But it's a mess.

As soon as I step inside, my eyes find shirts and sweaters littering the entirety of the wooden floor and over the couch. Snacks and empty coffee cups are sprawled across the dining table, and I'm pretty sure I can see a pile of dishes unwashed in the sink from the doorway.

I'm taking it all in as Chan yells into the dorm from behind me, something I don't quite understand, a strict tone to his voice as it echoes down the hall.

It's then do I realise there's a distant sound of voices yelling and laughing through the walls of the dorm, and I blink, processing for a moment my surroundings, only to realise that I can only describe the first word upon entering the dorm simply as chaotic.

Okay, so maybe I was kind of expecting this.

"You can come in," Chan tells me then, dropping the strict tone of his voice and replacing it to a tender one as he speaks to me. I can't help but find that sweet.

I nod dazedly, and Chan leads me inside as we shuffle off our shoes and step into the living room. I finally have a clear view of the laundry basket in the corner of the room and a lone slipper sitting by the TV.

Chan and I pause in the middle of the room, and I watch him glance down the hall like he's expecting someone to appear. I can't help but snicker when we wait a beat only for no one to enter the room, which causes Chan to sigh slightly in annoyance. He turns to me with a boyish grin. "I'll get them."

"Do what you must," I hum with a teasing smile, and Chan smiles bashfully at me.

I place my luggage down as I watch him saunter down the hall, already calling for the others in his native tongue. I take the time to glance around the room further, noticing more and more things the longer I stand there. I notice a hair tie sitting on the small coffee table (probably Hyunjin's), there's a phone sitting on the couch, nearly slipping through the cracks, (it's Minho's — it's obvious from the faded cat stickers on the case), and there's slips of loose paper scattering the floor, along with pens and pencils strewn about (maybe lyrics from Changbin or Jisung?)

It's little things like these that make me realise that these boys are human and aren't the perfect, beautiful idols the media portray them to be. That they really are my rowdy group of friends.

I feel like I'm about to cry.

I haven't seen them in person in so long.

It's at the moment of epiphany of standing there in the centre of the dorm living room when I hear someone pad in with bare feet, a slow and lazy walk, causing me to turn around with my heart burning only to find—

"Oh."

Jisung is standing in the kitchen entryway in shorts and an oversized tee with his hair in an absolute mess. I feel every bit of me freeze as I watch him stare blankly at me, his eyes blinking whilst he processes the sight of me standing there. I find myself tensing further when his eyes drop up and down my form, his jaw slowly unhinging as his brain catches up with him.

There's no possibly way I could hide the wobble of my lips while I stare back at him, my heart so loud and so dangerous in my ears.

It's a miracle that I even manage to swallow past the lump in my throat and say in such a raspy voice into the silence, "Hi."

I nearly wince at the way my voice cracks.

But Jisung doesn't seem to care. In fact, it looks like he didn't even hear me. Instead, he only continues to stare. It seems like reality finally hits him after what feels like forever, and I watch with a shaky exhale as he finally unfreezes from his spot from the kitchen entrance. I almost jump out of my skin when he suddenly makes his way over, his eyes wide and glassy as he takes three or four steps until he finally reaches me, where he suddenly raises his hands and cups them both on either side of my head, his eyebrows furrowed together as his eyes explore my face with an incredulous expression colouring his features.

He whispers my name, a questioning and broken tone to his voice.

My lips upturn into a smile, my own eyes glassy as I say to him, "Hi Jisung."

It's a second later when Jisung throws his arms around me, wailing my name, causing us to tumble back onto the couch. I startle at the sudden movement, yelping in surprise, but I briefly feel Jisung's hand cup the back of my head as we collapse onto the couch, his arms wrapped tightly around me as he squeezes me extremely tight.

"There's no way, there's no way, this can't be happening," I hear him mumbling, pulling me in close so that my chin is propped onto his shoulder.

I'm still blinking in shock when Jisung leans away to take in my face again, where I offer him a curious smile and a tilt of my head, only causing him to scream again and yank me back into another embrace. It manages to earn a bubble of laughter from my lips, and I finally return the hug, patting his back.

"Hi, Jisung!"

He only continues to wail my name.

Jisung keeps me tight in his arms when I glance up to find Chan walk back into the room, where he staggers at the sight he finds as soon as he walks in. I notice the way his eyes go wide.

Chan doesn't even have any time to react whatsoever, because the rest of the boys all follow in after him, curious at the sudden uproar sounding from the living room, only to all pause in their tracks at the sight of me nervously grinning over the top of Jisung's shoulder toward them, using my free hand to offer a sheepish wave.

"Hi guys," I greet, laughing bashfully.

There's a brief moment of silence where they just stare at me.

Then chaos.

I'm not joking when I say the sight of all the boys screaming and running toward me is the most terrifying thing I've ever witnessed, but my heart is swelling in my chest and there's a fluttering feeling in my stomach when they all rush over and pull me into the biggest group hug I've ever been given.

"Hey!" I think I hear Chan over the sounds of the rest of my friends screaming my name. "Be careful! You're going to squish her! Guys!"

But the boys don't listen. The only continue to howl and cry out things I can't seem to really catch when they're all overlapping each other, but it's still incredibly wonderful to see my friends again. I think I'm laughing. I'm pretty sure I am. But I feel wetness on my cheeks, and yeah, I'm crying too.

But so are the others, who I can finally hear them saying that they're sorry and that they had missed me.

I swear I've never felt so loved before in my entire life.

Eventually, after a while of hugs and apologies, Chan manages to save me from the piling weight of all our friends, shooing them away and helping me to sit up on the couch, where I suddenly feel dazed at the abrupt love I was given all at once.

"You okay?" Chan asks, and it's basically a laugh, the dimples obvious on his cheeks.

"No," I answer, and I'm laughing with wet eyes as I wipe the tears away with my sleeves, taking in all my friends around me. "I've just missed you guys."

"Please don't make me bawl my eyes out," Felix whines, as he takes the seat beside me with a pout.

"I'm sorry," I tell him, smiling so wide my cheeks hurt.

Jisung's laughter is extremely loud and infectious. "I can't believe you're here!" he says. "We have to celebrate. We'll watch a movie! I'll get the snacks!" He bolts off before anyone could say anything, and Minho and Hyunjin follow after him into the kitchen with a loving roll of their eyes.

"Do you want me to put your things away?" Chan asks me as the others set Netflix up on the TV.

"I can do that," I respond, standing to grab my luggage, but Chan pushes me back down with his hand on my forehead.

He's grinning boyishly. "I got it. I'll put it in my room."

The others react noisily at his words, but Chan only rolls his eyes with a blush adorning his face.

"Don't worry, we'll just kick Changbin out of our room," he says with a smirk. "Right, Felix?"

"Hey!" Changbin cries. "I can understand you, you know!"

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my entire life, my arms wrapped around my stomach as the tears pour from my eyes, relishing in the sound of the boys laughing along with me.

-

It turns out Changbin didn't need to be kicked out of his room after all, because the boys and I end up sleeping in the living room anyway.

I remember watching an animated movie last night, I just can't seem to recall which one, but I'm sure Hyunjin was the one who recommended it. I briefly remember tangling my legs with Jeongin as we both leaned from either side of the couch, where Jeongin and Felix snuggled up together whilst I leaned up against Chan. I recall feeling warm as he carded his hands through my hair.

The rest of boys were scattered across the carpet and the other sofa as we watched, and I realise I don't even remember watching half the movie because Jisung couldn't stop talking to me.

But it was nice. It was sweet. And I loved every single moment of it.

I wake up the next morning in a daze, blinking the sleep from my eyes as I wince a little at the ray of sun falling over my face. I move to shift my position only to find myself squished in between the back of the couch and Chan, who's passed out asleep beside me, small snores emitting from him, where he seems to be lying on his stomach, his face facing away from me with his arm lazily thrown over my stomach.

My face explodes red.

Jeongin and Felix are still cuddled on the other end of the couch, and I try to remove my foot that seems to have been digging into Felix's stomach.

I begin to wonder how on earth we managed to fit on the couch, but when we're all squished together like this, I can see how.

There's a sound of someone mumbling under his breath from the floor, and I glance up to see Seungmin slowly sitting up from his lying position, scratching his messy hair and lazily looking around the room, a yawn leaving his lips.

Our eyes meet over our friends who are scattered around the living room passed out asleep, and we stare at each other for a moment before smiling.

"Morning," I greet.

"Morning. Sleep well?"

I glance down to notice Chan's arm still wrapped around my waist, and I redden slightly. "Yeah," I tell him, and Seungmin's smile is knowing.

He doesn't say anything about it though, he only stretches with a groan. "Hungry?"

"A little. Are you going to cook?"

"Yeah," he responds with a sigh, and then he's standing up, scratching his arm.

I perk up with a grin. "Can I help?"

I watch as Seungmin eyes me with amusement, and nods. He jabs his thumb over his shoulder. "Bathroom's down the hall if you want to use it first."

I beam at him and I move to stand up from the couch, only to startle a little when Chan makes a noise in his sleep, a little hum, and he rolls over so that his body is facing me, and wraps both his arms around my torso, his nose digging into my side.

I blink at him, my face bright red, before I peer up to see Seungmin already walking out of the room. "Never mind, I'll use the bathroom first."

My blush deepens and I can't seem to stifle my giggle as I watch him leave, my heart fluttering in my chest. Suddenly, it's quiet, and I can see the dust particles floating in the ray of sun streaming from the window.

My eyes find themselves trailing from each of my friends who are still sound asleep, tangled with their bed sheets and with each other's limbs.

But then I look down when Chan suddenly tightens his grip around my waist and moves his face closer into my side, humming softly in his sleep. I can't help the small, soft smile that pulls on my lips, and I reach over with a quiet inhale and gently tangle my fingers through his hair.

He hums again, and I hear the vibrations of his chest against my legs, and my blush brightens.

I play with his hair for a bit, eyes half lidded as I stare out the crack of the curtain, my fingers raking through his hair. I quickly shoot my family a text and check social media until Seungmin pads back into the room.

He looks freshly showered with his wet hair brushed back, and away from his forehead, a few strands hanging loose. He's scratching his neck and looking around in a hoodie and sweatpants, stifling a yawn.

We make eye contact from across the room, and his eyes briefly drop down to my fingers tangled in Chan's hair, before he glances back up again.

He pauses before he asks me, "I'm going to make breakfast."

I smile shyly. "Can I help?"

Seungmin nods, and then makes his way toward the kitchen. "Just come to the kitchen when you're ready."

"Okay," I call back, and I watch him disappear around the corner.

I stare blankly for a moment, blinking the sleep from my eyes. It's when I drop my gaze to look down at Chan's sleeping face pressed against the side of my stomach, where he mumbles something under his breath and pulls me impossible closer, that something light and fuzzy pulses through my chest. Something akin to a lightning strike straight through my heart.

I brush my fingers away from his forehead, smiling warmly, until I finally untangle my legs from Jeongin's and wiggle my way out of Chan's embrace.

It takes a minute of wincing when I think I've woken him up but sighing when I realise he's fast asleep, and tiptoeing onto the floor when I finally free myself from the couch. I manage to hand Chan a cushion as a substitute, and he doesn't seem to protest as he continues to snore softly.

I finally relax, my shoulders slumping, a smile still adorning my lips. I give him one last warm look before I head toward the kitchen.

Seungmin