It's a month later when Kevin slams open my bedroom door. He's screaming my name as I lay on my bed and continue to flick through my notes.

"What?" I say without looking up.

"Well, maybe I don't want to tell you now."

"Okay," I murmur, highlighting a passage. "Make sure you shut the door on your way out this time."

"Why are you like this?"

"Charming and sweet?" I smirk up at him.

"Moody and mean."

"Okay," I say, rolling my eyes good-naturedly. I shuffle a bit to the side and pat the spot beside me for him. Kevin grins and basically jumps onto my bed, and all my sheets of paper fly everywhere. I huff, but Kevin doesn't look guilty at all. "What's up?"

"You know how I'm just an amazing younger brother," he starts, looking smug, "And how you love me and all that?"

"Debatable."

He ignores me. "Well, you're going to love me even more and you're going to say, 'holy shit,' in about two seconds."

"Get to the point," I snicker.

Kevin is grinning. His eyes are shining and he's basically buzzing with excitement when he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. I lean back and wince when he shoves it into my face, adjusting to the sudden brightness of his phone screen.

Then, my jaw drops.

And my heart jumps to my throat.

"Holy shit."

"Hah, I knew it!" Kevin cackles, flopping back onto my bed and howling, "I'm amazing!"

"Wh—," the words fall from my tongue. Feeling speechless, I try to gather my thoughts, the memories of what had happened a month ago come flooding back into my senses from where I've locked them away as a nice distant memory.

"When, how, and why did you get tickets to a Stray Kids concert and fan meet?"

Kevin pulls himself back up into a sitting position, the grin still plastered proudly upon his lips. He holds up three fingers and points to each of them as he speaks.

"When? I got them last week! I'm surprised that you didn't know they were coming to Osaka! Aren't you like, a fan?"

I manage to give my brother a blank stare. "No, I'm not, Kevin," I tell him dryly, and I watch as he looks behind me and takes in the Stray Kids posters pasted all over my wall.

"Okay, maybe 'a fan' is an understatement," he mumbles, dramatically cupping his chin.

"I think so too," I say, huffing a small laugh.

I think back to a smiling Jisung and Felix giving me snacks, a hungry Changbin keen for pancakes and a sweet Chan with an arm wrapped protectively around me.

It'll be a lie if I said I didn't begin to look into them after the incident. I wasn't really a big Stay before it happened, only ever knowing them as another group in a sea of idols, but the kind smiles and concern that they casted my way did nothing but make me absolutely fall in love with them.

Not the image or idea of Stray Kids, but Stray Kids. The amazing group of boys who helped me when I was in danger. The group of boys who ate pancakes with me and joked around with me and made me happier than I've ever been in a long time.

And I absolutely miss them.

"How?" Kevin continues when I stay silent. "Well, I never would have been able to buy the tickets myself, so I managed to take some money from your account!"

My eyes pop out of my head. "What?" I screech, horrified. "Kevin!"

"And why?" Kevin stays smug, pointing to his last finger, snickering to himself when he barely dodges the swing of my arm. "Because you kept playing their songs for a month! I might as well take you to see them if you're so in love with them."

I shut my mouth at that, the anger dissipating as soon as it surfaced. I sneak a peek behind me, taking in the posters all over my walls. It's a bit embarrassing, considering I've actually met them and had breakfast with them and experienced an interesting and very loud van ride with them, but I couldn't help but put the posters up.

I had no way of contacting them, but maybe I can finally talk to them again.

Maybe I can see them again.

I can laugh with them again.

But that's if they recognise me.

-

For the next few weeks leading up to the date of the event, I thank Kevin profusely. I never would have thought he'd get me tickets to see them, but Kevin was more than happy to buy them for me (even though I did technically pay for half).

Kevin insisted he'd be with me the whole time, interested in seeing them for himself. He had briefly told me that he was interested to see Hyunjin and to see if his hair is really as soft as it looks. I laughed at the way he blushed.

The venue is only a twenty-minute bus ride, which surprises me. We are in the more busy part of Osaka, living happily with our parents in the heart of the city, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that the venue is pretty close to our house.

But the fact makes me buzz in excitement because Stray Kids are so close to where I live.

The concert is first, and we manage to steal a spot in the middle of the venue. The stage is bright and colourful, and I can't stop my heart from beating loudly in my ears as we wait for the concert to start.

It's beautiful.

Of course, I've seen stages and performances online, but seeing them in person is different. Totally different.

My heart is warm as the boys sing, interact with fans and stumble a bit with their Japanese. They dance across the stage and carry themselves with such experience and love for their fans, that I can't help myself from crying maybe just a little bit.

They don't see me, which I expected. I'm a bit disappointed, and it'll be a lie if I said I didn't try to gain their attention by waving and screaming, but being in a crowd with thousands of other people doing the exact same thing, it's not surprising that they didn't notice me.

But there's a bit of me that hopes that Chan noticed me when his eyes swept my way, but it must have been my imagination.

The concert ends, and they wave goodbye before rushing off stage. Kevin looks like he had a blast, gushing on about how amazing they were and how all of the songs that they performed were bops, and I laugh along with him.

We file out of the venue and make our way to the event I've been squirming about for the past few weeks.

The fan sign.

It's packed when we get there, everyone in their respected seats and screaming their names. Kevin and I follow them, taking our seats with wide grins and sweaty palms.

I brought their new Japanese mini album with me, the item wrapped tightly in my hands as I try to control my breathing.

I also brought the same sweets Jisung and Felix had given me. Well, I had eaten the original ones they had given me, but I bought the same sweets in hopes to give them to them.

And Chan's baseball cap sits comfortably on my head.

The boys enter the room, and everyone goes wild. I can hear Kevin from beside me scream Hyunjin's name, and I laugh a little, also waving to the boys from the crowd.

The smile on my face is big as they greet us, bowing and waving their own hands. They all have their own big grins as they begin to speak with us, Chan fiddling a bit with his microphone as he tries to find the right words to say.

It really is good to see them again.

We line up for the fan signing, Kevin jumping a bit in excitement in front of me. He's holding the photo book he bought and a rose he plans to give to a certain someone. I think it's absolutely adorable, considering Kevin is in his last year of high school. He's still tiny.

The table that they are sitting at gets closer and closer and closer, and I hold my breath as I become the next person in line to meet them.

This is it.

My heart is racing, my hands are shaking and my breath is unsteady as I walk over and sit in front of the first member.

Minho recognises me immediately.

A small and surprised, 'oh!' stumbles out of his lips as he points at me, his eyes blowing as I give him a shy wave.

I flush when he says my name.

He remembers me.

Minho can't seem to contain his excitement. He's grinning so wide and he's turning his head to face Seungmin from beside him, telling him something I can't quite understand.

When Seungmin waves goodbye to Kevin who shuffles over to Changbin, he turns his head my way.

Seungmin's jaw unhinges at the sight of me, and he slowly raises his hands to cover his mouth.

My name falls from my lips as a question.

I snicker in amusement, nodding.

"Hi, Minho. Hi, Seungmin," I manage through a laugh.

They are shocked, completely gaping at me, and speechless. It's really cute.

Minho dives down quickly to sign my album before it gets suspicious, which I think is a good idea.

I can feel thousands of eyes burning into the back of my head, and I shiver a bit.

But Seungmin is ecstatic. "Woah, it's so nice to see you! I didn't know you'd be here!"

"Well, I told you I live in Osaka, didn't I?" I respond with a giggle, thanking Minho lovingly as he hands me my album, and I quickly slide down the line to sit in front of Seungmin before the fan behind me throws a fit.

"Thanks, Minho," I say happily and his eyes shine.

"You're welcome." He beams.

"That's right! I can't believe none of us realised," Seungmin continues, signing his own name on my album. "I'm just so shocked!"

I melt at the heart he puts next to his name.

"Well, it's really nice to see you too. I also went to your concert!"

"You did?" Seungmin covers his mouth. "Woah!"

I laugh and thank him, and he gives me one last smile before I shift down the line to Changbin, who's already grinning and pointing at me and saying my name.

I point back to tease him, smirking, and he throws his head back to laugh, holding out a hand for a high five. I slap my hand to his as he signs my album, and he looks like he wants to say so much but he can't seem to form the words.

I bow at him as he returns the album, and he manages a, "Thanks for the pancakes!" just before I shuffle over, and I laugh as he gives me another point.

When I lift my head to face Jisung, he looks really happy. I sit down in front of him, my name happily falling from his lips.

When I chance a look to my right, I notice that the rest of the members have noticed me, but they look distracted with the fans in front of them to wave, which I don't mind.

"Woah, I can't believe you're here! It's been so long!" He says with his charming grin, clapping his hands and uncapping his pen.

"It has! How have you been, Jisung? Eating well?"

"Oh, always," Jisung says dramatically, and I snort behind my hand. "I am always eating well!"

"I'm sure you have," I tell him, and I have the biggest grin on my face when I pull out the bag of sweets from my tote bag and place it in front of him whilst he signs my album. "But you must be still hungry, right?"

When he looks up, he nearly jumps to his feet, a 'woah!' flying from his lips as he leans over to quickly grasp the bag between his hands, and I can't help my loud laugh as his eyes go wide on me.

"You didn't!"

"I did."

"You are amazing!" My cheeks start to hurt as I watch Jisung waste no time in ripping open the bag of sweets and popping one into his mouth. The little dance he does is absolutely adorable and he hugs the packet to his chest, eyes round and sparkling. "Thank you so much!"

"I knew you'd like them," I tell him cheekily.

"I really do," Jisung replies, and I snicker when he shoves a few more into his mouth.

I wave goodbye as I turn to the next member, and my heartbeat spikes at the sight of Jeongin, who's holding a little teddy bear and using its arm to wave at me.

I squeal at the gesture, a hand coming to rest on my chest as I can't help but coo at the adorable sight. "Hi, Jeongin! How are you?"

"Hi, noona," he shyly greets, hugging the bear close to himself as he grasps a pen to write onto my album. "I'm good."

"That's great," I tell him, face bright. Although, I'm a little confused over the term Jeongin had used on me, unfamiliar with the word, but I only continue to smile as he finishes signing and offers the album back.

I bow at him and take it with two hands, and he returns the gesture, his head ducking sheepishly.

"Thank you. Stay safe, okay? Don't forget to eat well!"

Hesitation flashes over Jeongin's eyes, and I realise that maybe I shouldn't have said things he probably wouldn't understand, but nonetheless, he nods and waves me goodbye as I sit in front of the next person.

When I look over to find Felix resting his chin into the palms of his hands, I smirk back at the smug grin he shoots my way, huffing an amused laugh.

"What a pleasant surprise," he muses, tone playful. "Couldn't stay away from us?"

I give him a sarcastic 'haha', rolling my eyes good-naturedly as he takes my album and chuckles deeply. "It's good to see you too, Felix."

"You too," he smiles, all dimples and freckles, my name sounding deep from his voice. "How have you been?"

"Studying, really. Nothing too fancy," I respond with a wave of my hand. "How about you guys? Have you been resting well?"

"We're still continuing filming but yeah, we're okay. It's fun," says Felix with a toothy grin. "We're leaving soon though."

"Leaving Japan?" I tilt my head.

"Yeah. We're going back home next week."

"Oh."

His eyes lift at the way my tone shifts, and I can tell he notices the way I sink at the thought of them leaving. His own smile turns sad, and he finishes signing my album with a sigh.

"I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do. We have a strict schedule."

My next laugh sounds a little forced. "Why are you apologising? There's nothing to apologise for."

"Yeah, but—" Felix stops himself, frowning a bit. He spares a quick glance to both his sides and then suddenly leans in. His voice is low when he says, "You've been really nice to us. I want us to be friends."

The strangled noise that comes from the back of my throat is very embarrassing, but I only continue to flush deep red and give Felix a look of shock.

I stumble with my words. "But... You're idols. I can't... We can't," I trail off, at a loss of words.

Then Felix is leaning back with a grin. "We can. We'll sort it out."

My heart is drumming loud in my ears as I slowly take the album from him. "Felix," I mumble, eyes shining.

He laughs and winks, and then I quickly shuffle over when a staff member appears behind him and gives me a look of warning.

With one last grateful, but very unsure look I cast Felix, I turn to find Hyunjin giving me a smile, but he also looks very curious. He probably heard a bit of my conversation with Felix, and he looks a bit perplexed. Nonetheless, he flashes me a handsome smile and greets me happily.

"Hyunjin," I greet him, blushing at the way he tilts his head and smiles. There's a rose sitting behind his ear, and I smirk at the sight.

"It's you," he says, and I nod.

"It's me." I beam.

Hyunjin radiates happiness as he finishes signing his name on my album and offers it back. I take it from him gratefully, but then my eyes blow when he suddenly removes the headband with heart springs attached to it off of his head and leans over to place it on top of the hat on my head.

I can't help but laugh sweetly, a smile spreading across my cheeks as I reach up to adjust the headband. "Thank you!"

When Hyunjin winks at me, I squeal behind my hand, overjoyed and laughing as I turn to the last member I am yet to meet.

And it's Chan.

Chan who's already grinning so wide and waving both his hands at me with a pen still between his fingers, head ducking and cheeks dimpling.

I absolutely swoon.

"Hi," I say dumbly, feeling shy.

He chuckles. "Hey."

I place the album between us, suddenly feeling a bit sheepish. The red ribbon scarf in my hair finds its way between my fingers as I play with it.

"You kept it," Chan says suddenly.

"Huh?"

His smile is boyish as his eyes flit from me to the cap on my head. "My hat."

"Oh," I reach up and touch the bill, adjusting it slightly. "Yeah, I did. It's mine now, after all."

Chan is smirking now. "Right. After I gave it to you."

"Hey, I did offer to give it back," I reason, tone playful and light.

Chan lets out an amused huff in response.

His gaze is cast downward as he scribbles on the cover of my album. I watch him warmly, noticing the faint red colour on his ears and on his cheeks.

"Did you, uh, get home alright?" He asks me.

"No, I got stalked again."

I'm taken aback by the way Chan suddenly chokes, eyes snapping up in alarm as they zone in on me, his gaze flickering across my face and down my body. "What—"

"I'm joking," I quickly say, startled by the sudden reaction, a sheepish smile pulling at my lips. "I'm fine. I got home fine."

I watch in slight surprise as he instantly relaxes, a sigh leaving him as he meets my eyes once again after giving me a quick once over to see if I'm alright. But then he frowns, eyes glinting.

"You can't do that," he warns me, but even then I can see him fighting off a smile. "You're going to make me worry."

I can't help but blush red. "I'm seriously fine, Chan," I assure him, the laughter bubbling from my lips, bashful and shy. "You don't need to worry about me."

"I worry about all my friends," Chan easily tells me like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

My heart jumps, my brain short-circuiting for a moment as I look at him in surprise.

Friends?

But he's not looking at me anymore, he's finishing up signing my album.

I seem to have heard wrong because there's no way an idol just called me, a random girl in a sea of fans, his friend, right?

Then it's Chan who suddenly looks shy, his face red as he offers my album back, his hand reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. "So, I'll uh, hopefully talk to you later, yeah?"

What?

I blink. I sit there and blink for a while as I slowly take my album, the cogs in my brain turning because what does he mean by talk to you later?

He's grinning now, probably at my reaction, his cheeks dimpling (dimples!!!) as he tilts his head and says my name curiously.

I quickly return back to earth, shaking my head slightly. "Uh, yeah," I dumbly say, nodding and managing to give him a hesitant smile. "It was really nice to see you, Chan."

I watch as he reddens, smile never faltering. "You too."

And then when I get up and walk away from the table, too shy to turn back around to see if the others are watching me walk away, I make my way back to my seat where Kevin is probably waiting for me.

However, as my gaze drops down to my album where all the boys have signed their names, my breath hitches and I stutter in my walk as my slowly widening eyes drag across the string of numbers written messily across the cover.

here's my number. if u leak this, which i doubt u will, i am taking my hat back - chan

I feel like screaming.

notes | hi! thank you for reading so far! i'm having so much fun writing and i hope you guys are enjoying it! just letting u guys kno that i'd appreciate it from the bottom of my heart if you guys could leave comments and