as i walked through the streets of wane imagining all of what the town could be if they had accepted me, my mind began to wander. i began thinking of my time spent in the studio with Penth, how i should be better and i could, how my finger so desperataly hurt and what if it affected my labour. the thoughts rubbed beneath my skin like a beating heart of anxiety. boiling and boiling, i couldnt take it. i raised my now near trembling fingers and looked to the nearest market stand. newspapers. *war in east* they read in loud booming letter that called to the thoughts that boiled in my body.

i wanted to scream i wanted to cry, but what if something bad happend? i was shunned enough in this town.. instead i ran, i ran through the streets my too tight dress ripping at the seams like a kind of contorted prison of worries and concerns. i ran till i reached the studio, my face still painted blue from the paint i fell in yet my mind was red. i tried at the door. no luck. locked. i looked to penths wagon which sat where it normally was, maybe it was bad that my mind was so conclusive but it lead me to be quick thinking. wagon in the yard meant that penth was home. i banged on the door.

"penth!!" i called out my breath a mixture of pants and huffs. i could hear the footsteps of penth through the cracking red elm door as the doorknob twisted to reveal a man i had never seen before. he was young, maybe my age maybe a little older i had gotten good at guessing peoples ages from all the time i had taken trying to guess Penths. he was dressed finely in what i assumed to be imported fabric. his face was sharp yet soft like a knight in shining armor from the books i would enthral myself in.  his hair was as pale as his skin and his eyes preyed on me like he was some apex predator, they were a deep dark black that i really didnt want to get involved with.

some people might say he was handsome, i found him to look uncannily like the perfect muse for penth. the man stared at me for a moment, i must of been a sight. some skinny girl who managed to have clothes that didnt fit panting for breath, her mouth contorting the blue smudges of paint that lined her face. well atleast thats what i guessed i looked like in that moment.

he travelled his eyes up and down me, he was too young to be penths lover but not to young to not have a crush on him. for a moment i forget the pulsing of worrys under my skin, it only comes to worsen when i realise that penth is yet to respond. could he be dead? he couldnt? i cared too much for him. as much as he penth asked me to call him by his given name i terribly regretted never calling him 'dad'

"w-wheres penth?" i ask my voice shaky, the man looks at me like I've just accused him of a crime because in short. i have. he moves aside and i rush in, clutching my skirts in the palm of my hands. i didn't care that my cut finger would stain it with crimson blood. "penth!!" i called out as i rushed into the familiar studio.

Penth stood in the middle of the room his arms crossed beneath each other as I almost let out a sigh of relief. I didn't. I couldn't what if? what if- "your shaking." Penth said in his best fatherly tone. I had noticed my quiver but I only noticed it because it affected my running. was I a bad person for letting anyone see me like this. I sniffled and ran (as he said) to my room. where I wept on my bed hopelessly.

(julius)

I walked back into the studio. *what an odd girl* I thought to myself. I almost wanted to be her, there was something so elegant and weary in the way that she looked like a well loved doll. i think i had seen the blue on her face before. at one of my many parties I suppose, i could almost imagine a noble dancing through a crowd with there skin adorned with pearls to resemble that of a siren. though the memory flashes, i must have been far too drunk. Penth stood, his posture wasnt slouchy like it normally was. it was pristine, like he had some example to set. i couldnt spot the girl anywhere, but penth looked... almost proud of himself with this smug look. he looked at me.

"my daughter." penth said, it all connected. i had always assumed penth to have some form of a family, i had placed bets with a few of my lovers on whether he was married or not. the girl looked nothing like him. she had long blonde hair and a face like a dolls, she was skinny. scarcely so. and her eyes an icey blue (inspo is vlada roslyakova mixed with elle fanning.) she looked sweet like a lamb but to have been raised by such an odd character like penth, i couldnt doubt that she would be impressive.

i looked over at penth and cleared my throat. "can i hire her for something?"