Kao (January, 2008)

I take a sandwich from my backpack. Fortunately this morning my mother still had time to put it into my bag, otherwise I would have died because of hunger.

Hi ... My name is Kao. I'm 18 years old. I will graduate from high school in two months. I think my high school is going to be my best time, until I know that person. Delinquents who shout at everyone they pass by. Pete, the gang leader. The person I hate the most among all of them.

"Hey... What  do you have over there?" Shit. Pete walks to my desk. It doesn't take ten seconds for him to stand beside my chair. "What is that?" He repeats the question.

I'm still reluctant to answer the question. Does he have no eyes? It's clear that I brought a sandwich.

"Heh? Did you hear me or not? I asked you." He sounds annoyed.

"Sandwich" I lazily answered the stupid question.

"It looks delicious.". Without waiting for my answer, that jerk grabs my sandwich and runs to his chair. His friends laugh and want to taste the sandwich. Pete doesn't budge and finish the sandwich alone.

I see his depraved act in silent. I'm hungry and Pete takes my lunch. I can't buy any bread in the canteen because I will save my allowance to buy the latest video game.

That day my stomach growls until late afternoon. I wanted to punch Pete's ugly face, but I am too exhausted.

I walk slowly towards my house which is only 1 kilometer from the school. I was too lazy to carry my bike this morning, that was why this morning I hopped into Uncle Ern's car, my neighbor.

"Hey ... where is your bike?" I don't need to turn my head to know who is calling me. Pete. He is again.

"At home," I reply shortly. Can this kid just go?

"Why do not bring your bike?" I stop my steps. Pete also stops his bike. He is waiting for my answer.

"I am lazy."

"Do you want to go home with me?" he asked. I looked at him blankly. "Come on," he adds.

"Okay." I agree. I walked closer to his bicycle, ready to ride his bicycle until .....

BUUUKKKK

I fall.

Pete pedals his bicycle before I get into his bike. Correction. Pete INTENTIONALLY pedals his bicycle before I get into his bike. I hear Pete burst out laughing, and so do his friends from a distance waiting for Pete's action.

Stupid. What do you expect from Pete?

ouch ... I see my palm bleeding.

I'm  still sitting quietly on the side of the road, staring at Pete who is still laughing and then pedaling his bicycle away to go home.

Kao (April, 2008)

I finally graduated. I have applied to one of the universities in Bangkok. I will start college this September.

I wait for Aom, my neighbor who is also my junior. She said to meet her in the park behind the school. Not long after, I see her walking toward me.

"What is wrong?" I see something is wrong with her. Her cheeks turn red.

Aom is sitting next to me. She pauses for a while until then she said "Aom ... aom ... want to give this for P'Kao." The girl take out a pink rose from behind. Apparently, she had hidden it from before.

"What is this?" I ask. I do not understand.

"Aom ... aom ......" The girl's voice trembles. The girl has not finished her sentence, a hand grabs the pink rose that Aom would give me.

Pete. He grabs the rose. He looks at it in disgust and then steps on it until it is torn.

"Hey ... What are you doing? Are you crazy?" I push Pete. I even punch him. I don't like violence, but this kid has gone too far.

Pete looked surprised because I hit him. "She gave you roses."

What?

This kid is really crazy. I turn to Aom who is still surprised by the incident just now.  Aom seems to be crying, I walk over to her. "Are you okay? Just ignore him. You'd better go back to the class. You have extra classes right? It's only 1 pm." Aom wipes away her tears. She looks at me for a moment. I smile, and assure her that everything is okay. She hold my hand, kisses my cheek and run away.

I couldn't think what just happened until I feel that Pete is  tapping my shoulder.

I turn around, and is shocked to see him. Pete looks angry and sad. I can't explain what I saw.

"Pete?" I call him.

The boy looks upset. I want to ask what was wrong, but he then said, "She kissed you."

"She did." I don't know what to say. But answering Pete's question just now isn't the right choice. Pete looks more angry.

Pete looks at me sharply "Do you like him?"

Really, Pete is crazy. He thinks I'll answer the question? He is wrong.

It turns out that my silence makes Pete more emotional. "Kao ... Answer me!"

"Why should I answer? What's your business?" I yell back at him

"I do not like it."

"Why? It's none of your business! And I don't care if you like it or not. We are not friends, and you have no right to interfere in my business."

Pete glared. "Of course I have! I don't like you being kissed by that crazy girl."

I don't believe what I hear. "What? What rights do you have?"

Pete squeezed my shoulder and whispered, "I like you, Kao." After saying that, Pete kisses me. He kisses my lips. I can't respond. I'm too surprised at what just happened. Pete bits my upper lip and tries to kiss me deeper. My first kiss.

I tries to push Pete to stop him. But instead of stopping, he deepens his kiss. He even touches  my stomach and waist. Like an electric current that stung me, I lost my consciousness. I can't resist Pete's kiss.

I return the kiss. All I can say is that the kiss is the best kiss I've ever experienced.

Kao (September, 2010)

I've been in my second year. My campus life is nothing special. My grades are very satisfying, I'm active in campus organizations, and I'm even offered to be my professor's assistance.

Many people say when in college, love life also makes them happy. But not for me. After that day, I couldn't feel anything. Yes ... on the day Pete kissed me brutally, I have lost my love for others.

Pete just kissed me, took off his arms and left leaving me with blank mind. At that time I couldn't even punch his face because that jerk had run away. The next day, I didn't go back to school. When I had to take some documents, I heard Pete had also moved to Bangkok. He entered the most expensive university there, which is also a rival of my university.

I'm sitting in the canteen when I see that I'm approached by Jerry, my classmate who was named the Campus Moon. "Kao ... are you coming?"

"Where to?"

"To the 'glass campus'. Our campus basketball team is competing there. P'Orn is the captain." he explains and even mention our head hazer's.

The 'Glass campus' is what we call the most expensive campus in Bangkok, where Pete is studying.

"Does it finish before 6? I have to make a report. Tomorrow is the deadline." I tried to find an excuse. I know it sounds coward, but I don't want to have possibility that I will meet Pete there. I know their campus is big and the possibility is very small.

"Oh.. It's hard to talk to nerds. Come on... you need to relax,  Kao," Jerry pulled my bag and also pulled me to follow him.

And now I'm here on the basketball court. I try not to be too 'flashy'. I know I am not handsome, but some people said that I attract people's attention t even though I'm in a crowd because of my fair skin. I sit in the third row from below. I recognize several people whom I know from the Faculty of Agriculture and the Faculty of Economics. P'Orn approaches me and Jerry, because the player's bench is in front of us.

"Oi Jerry, Oi Kao. I don't think you guys came!" shouted P'Orn. Automatically people turned towards us, even some of the opposing players also glance at me and Jerry.

"Hi Phi. Fighting! We have to win." Jerry sounds very enthusiastic, which is answered by a sweet smile from P'Orn.

Oops ... it seems like I missed the news.

"Good luck Phi." I say briefly, and He only nods. After talking with the P'Orn for few minutes, I pulls Jerry's arm and whispers, "Are you guys dating?" And without needing to make a sound, that kid's ears have answered my question. Jerry's ears turns red. "Okay. Enough. No need to answer." I cut him

I fix my sitting position and then look around. Then, my eyes meet with a person whon I did not want to meet. Pete looks at me intensely. He doesn't even take his eyes off even though he know I'm also staring at him.

Thump.....

Suddenly my heart felt like exploding. Gosh ... what happened to me? I can't get a heart attack right?

I try to take my eyes off Pete, but I feel like I'm being watched. I steal a glance and it turns out that Pete is still looking at me.

"Oi Kao ... why is your face gone red?" Jerry elbows me.

"Nothing. Err ... Looks like I have to go to the toilet." I get up and get out of the basketball court. Outside the field there are many people who have just arrived, and it seems like the host's supporters. when I will run to the exit, someone pulls my arm.

"Where are you going?" The voice asks.

Thump ...

Shit. Not now.

"Home." I reply.

"Why do not watch? You leave your friend alone?" he asked again.

I'm about to answer his question when I realize, he still grabs my arm. I let go of my arm, and Pete does not refuse.

"He came to watch his boyfriend. I don't like basketball." Lie. I'm sure Pete is laughing inside because he must have known I really liked basketball, one of the sports that I was good at.

But I was wrong. Pete does not comment any further. Instead, he says. "Then, let's eat."

"Hey ... I don't want to." I push Pete who try to grab my hand. I'm too scared to look at Pete. Before Pete responds, I rush to the exit.

"Kao ..." he called from a distance.

Thump ...

God damn it. Jerk. Don't call me like that.

"Kao ... hey ... Kao"

Thump ...

I ignore Pete's call. I accelerate my steps, even I have to run when I hear Pete's voice getting closer.

I'm scared near Pete.

I'm afraid my heart will explode.

I remembered Pete and his kiss.

-to be continued-