Chapter Thirty Seven

The line goes dead, but I keep shouting her name. Coming to my senses I dial her number again. It goes straight to the answerphone. 

Holding only the phone, leaving the food all over the place and the fridge and the cupboards open, I turn and run right out of the flat, slamming the door shut. She said she was nearly home. 

I slip and fall as I turn towards the main road, grazing my palms on the concrete, but get up straight away and just keep running.

Her words are floating around in my head, all jumbled. The way she shouted ‘Stop!’ 

It crosses my mind that once I reach the top of the main road, I won’t know which way to go. But I keep running, my lungs on fire. 

I think my heart stops for a second when an ambulance shoots past me, its sirens blaring. I run even faster, desperate not to lose sight of it. I see it turn left at the top of the road and speed up. It has to be her. 

I turn left where the ambulance did and fall over again, but get straight back up and keep running. I can see it, in the distance, the ambulance has stopped, its lights still flashing. I feel like my lungs might explode but I don’t even slow down.

When I see the sight before me, for a moment, everything stops. I stop running. I stop breathing. Maybe even my heart stops beating. 

Cheryl’s car is smashed into the back of a parked lorry. There is a motorbike on the floor a few feet away. As I start to move closer, through the thin waves of smoke emitting from the car, it seems one of the doors on the back of the lorry was open, and is embedded in the front windscreen of Cheryl’s car. 

That’s when I spot Gary, clutching his face, surrounded by paramedics. But I don’t see Cheryl. I sprint the last few feet towards the car; I know she’s still in there. I just know. 

‘CHERYL!’ 
Someone catches me hard around the waist. ‘Woah--!’ 
‘Cheryl, I’m here! Let, go, she needs me--’ 
Someone else grabs my arm and starts pulling me back. 
‘CHERYL!’ 
‘Wait, wait, it’s ok I know her!’ 

Gary is there. He’s ran over, his face full of blood, holding one hand over his nose. ‘It’s her girlfriend, let--’
‘Kimberley!?’ 

Ignoring everyone, even Gary, I pull away from the people holding me back quickly and run for the car. 

Cheryl’s in the passenger seat. The open lorry door is wedged into the car, creating a barrier between her and the drivers seat, where there is a paramedic sitting, talking to her. There is glass everywhere. I run around the car. ‘Let me talk to her, she’s asking for me, please.’ 
The woman nods, sliding out. I need to get a bag--’
‘Why haven’t you got her out yet, you need to get her out--’ 
‘We’re waiting for the fire brigade.’ She says to me quietly. ‘We need to cut the door off her side to get her out.’ 
‘Oh my God…’ I go to push past her but she stops me. ‘Keep her calm, and watch the glass, love.’ 
‘Thanks.’ 

She runs off and I slide in, brushing a load of glass off the seat first. There’s a big enough gap, even with the lorry door wedged in, for me to see her. ‘Chez? Hey, Cheryl look at me.’ 

Cheryl turns her head towards me, wincing, her eyes full of tears. I reach my hand out and she squeezes so hard I feel my knuckles grind together. ‘Hey, it’s alright babe. Everything’s--’ 
‘Gary, where’s Gary?’ 
‘Cheryl, it’s ok, he’s right outside, I’ve just spoke to him, he’s being seen to. He’s less than ten feet away, I promise he’s ok.’ 
‘The bike… the guy on the bike… where is he?’ 
‘I – I don’t know, what--’ 
‘He came out of nowhere at the side of us.’ Cheryl says wildly. ‘Gary would’ve hit him if he hadn’t swerved… he fell off…’ 

I turn around hopelessly, hoping someone might be nearby to reassure Cheryl nobody is hurt. 

It’s like I zone in on him. A few feet away there’s a few police, pushing back passers-by. And he’s there, a guy in the leather gear of a motorcyclist, a helmet under one arm, and a camera in the other. He’s wiping the huge lens of the camera, looking concerned.

I feel a volcano of rage burst inside me. ‘He’s fine Cheryl. I can see him.’ I let go of Cheryl’s hand and get out of the car, never taking my eyes off that man. 
I’ve only taken about three steps, when she shouts me. 

‘Kimberley, don’t leave me!’ Cheryl screams. The panic in her voice makes me turn around. She’s openly sobbing now, and has her hand reaching out towards me. 
‘Please… let it go, don’t leave me… I…’ 

I don’t let her finish. I run back, slide back in the car and grab her hand, getting as close to her as I possibly can. ‘Alright babe, alright. I’m here. You’re gonna be ok, they’ll get you out really soon.’ 
‘H-how did you get here?’ Cheryl whispers. She’s trying to take my mind off seeing him. 
‘You said you weren’t far, I just ran… I saw the ambulance and followed it.’ 
‘How is she?’ 

The paramedic has climbed into the back seat and shuffled behind Cheryl. She passes an oxygen mask over Cheryl’s shoulder. ‘Take this Cheryl, breathe into it for me.’ 
‘Where the hell are the fire brigade?!’ I shout. 
‘They’re on the way…’ 
‘What’s with all the police?’ 
‘We’re trying to stop everyone on the streets seeing its Cheryl Cole in this car.’ The paramedic whispers. ‘Otherwise we’ll never get her out of here.’ 
‘Kimba…’ Cheryl whimpers. I look to her, still clutching my hand like her life depends on it. She’s dropped the mask and has her other hand on her stomach. ‘I’m bleeding.’ 
‘What?!’ 
‘I-I think it’s the glass…’ she gasps. She moves her hand and there’s blood on her palm and all over her top, the red standing out harshly against the pale blue colour. 
‘Oh my God… do something!’ I say desperately to the paramedic. I can hear sirens and twist around, seeing the fire brigade, finally, speeding towards the scene. 
‘It’s ok Chez, they’re here, you’ll be out of here really soon.’ I say, kissing her hand. 
‘Let me get back next to her so I can--’ 
‘No.’ I interrupt the paramedic. ‘No she needs me here, please… what can I do?’ 

Biting her lip, she leans over as far as she can and grabs the oxygen mask. ‘She needs to keep this on… here, take this - lift her top up and press this dressing hard on the wound. What does it look like?’ 
‘Th-there’s loads of long grazes… they don’t look deep but I dunno…’ 
‘Ok, just keep pressure on it for me… I’m gonna lean across and unclip the seatbelt, then I need to speak to the fire chief. Cheryl? You need to keep using that mask for me ok?’ 
Cheryl just nods, already holding it to her face. ‘Chez, if it hurts, if you’re in pain, squeeze my hand yeah? Give some to me.’ 
Cheryl smiles a little, then closes her eyes. 
‘No, Chez, you’ve got to stay with me, open your eyes babe.’ 
I shake her, probably a little too hard, but she opens her eyes. ‘Look at me, Cheryl.’ I tell her. I move closer, as close as I can get, and raise my hand, turning her face towards me. ‘Don’t be scared babe…’ 
‘I’m not… just don’t leave us.’ Cheryl murmurs. 
‘I’m not going anywhere. And when we’re out of here and we get you sorted I’m gonna take you on the best date of your life.’ 
‘I like the sound of that.’ 

The paramedic comes back in the car. ‘They’re gonna start cutting the door off now.’ She says. ‘Cheryl? I need you to move towards Kimberley, slowly, but get as close to her as you can for me, yeah?’ she looks to me. ‘You ready?’ 
I nod. ‘Cheryl? Babe I know it hurts, but slide towards me a bit. Come on, move your lazy arse here.’ 

I manage to get my arm around Cheryl and pull her to me as much as I can. Her head drops slightly onto her shoulder and her eyes flicker. ‘Not long now babe, I promise.’ I look up, to the fireman stood at the window with the tool in his hands. ‘Go for it.’ 
The noise of the machine is deafening, and Cheryl jumps, screws her eyes shut and tightens her grip on my hand immediately. I want to talk to her, reassure her, but I doubt she could hear me. I glance down, see blood all over my hand on her wounded stomach and instantly look away before I panic. Cheryl raises her head and meets my eyes, and we keep our gaze locked on each other throughout, until the noise stops. 

‘Let’s get her out of here.’ Someone shouts. Another paramedic leans in, pulling Cheryl away from me and dragging her out of the car and onto a waiting stretcher. I scramble out of the car and run after them, diving into the back of the ambulance without even looking at anyone else. 
‘Where’s Gary?’ Cheryl says loudly. 
‘He’s gone in another ambulance love, don’t worry.’ The paramedic driving calls from the front. The woman who was in the car with us climbs in, closing the doors. ‘Keep using the oxygen Cheryl.’ 
‘I don’t feel very good.’ Cheryl whimpers. 
‘Alright, let me just—oh my God.’ 
‘What?’ I lean across her and my mouth drops open. Cheryl’s head has dropped to the side, her eyes have closed and there is blood all over her neck. ‘Step on it Mike!’ 
‘What happened?!’ 
She doesn’t answer for a minute, instead concentrating on covering up the bleed and applying pressure. ‘There must have been glass in her neck somewhere… I think it’s hit a vein.’ 
‘WHAT?!?’ 

I can’t get near Cheryl without falling over, so I stand back, tears streaming down my face. I don’t know what to do. Is this how she felt with me, all those months ago on the beach in LA? I feel completely helpless. 

Everything  is a blur; running her out of the ambulance, through the hospital. I follow blindly, catching mixed words and phrases as doctors appear at my side, running alongside us; 

‘Cheryl Cole… collision with a parked lorry… abrasions to the abdomen and neck, possible entry to the vein, significant blood loss… loss of consciousness about four minutes… her pulse is through the floor…’ 

‘There’s paparazzi swarming outside, we need to keep them away.’ One of the doctors says. 
‘Don’t worry, the police are already here.’ 
‘What’s going on?!’ I shout desperately. Nobody seems to have acknowledged me. ‘What’s wrong with her?’ 

One of the nurses in a pale green uniform comes towards me. ‘I’m Rachel.’ She says kindly. ‘Why don’t you come with me while they--’ 
‘No, I don’t want to leave her…’ 
‘She’s in very good hands.’ She sooths, putting an arm around me and turning me to the door. ‘Let’s go and get you a drink…’ 

No sooner have we left the room, me still looking back helplessly at Cheryl, then Gary comes running down the corridor. The bridge of his nose and under his eyes is swollen and purple, and he still had dried blood all around his nose; it looks broken. ‘Where is she?’ he says desperately as soon as he sees me. 
‘She’s in there…’ I realise we’re not going to help Cheryl by panicking. ‘Gary, they’re looking after her.’ 
‘What’s wrong with her?’ 
‘I don’t know, she passed out in the ambulance…’ 

‘She’s in very good hands.’ Rachel says again, still stood with her arm around me. ‘If you like you can both wait here. I’ll get you both something to drink.’ 
‘I have to call me Mam.’ Gary says slowly. ‘I’m gonna have to call her.’ 
‘There’s a phone just at the end of this corridor… has someone checked you over?’ 
‘Yeah.’ Gary says impatiently. 
‘Gary.’ I say firmly. ‘Look, please go and get looked at properly, you look absolutely awful. If Cheryl sees you like that she’ll probably pass out again. Then you can call your Mam. I’ll stay here, I won’t leave her I swear.’ 
‘How did you end up there… here?’ 
‘I was on the phone to her… when it cut off I just ran, I followed the ambulance.’ 

Gary gives me a long, unreadable look. Another nurse appears behind him. ‘Why don’t you come back to cubicles so I can finish cleaning you up?’ 
Gary nods slowly and follows him. ‘You’ll stay here?’ 
‘Of course.’ 

I manage to get rid of the nurse who took me out of Cheryl’s way, and sit down as close to the room as I can. 

‘There’s paparazzi swarming outside…’ 

I wait several minutes, trying to let it pass. I clench my fists to try and stop my hands shaking. Eventually I stand up and walk slowly back towards the entrance. 

I can see them all through the doors, dozens of them crowded together about twenty feet away, being kept back by a row of yellow-jacketed policemen. There’s no doubt in my mind, the one from the accident, on the motorbike, will be there, still determined to get his picture. 

All I have to do is find him.