There he was, sulking in front of a long-forgotten mask and outfit held together by tinfoil. "I promised myself I'd stop," He whispered, voice almost cracking. "I promised myself it wouldn't happen again!"

Professor Chaos.

An infamous supervillain who was more than bad at his job of being evil. At most he was just a bad citizen to the community. Although Butters thought he was being horrific, Professor Chaos was more of an annoyance than a problem. Sadly, some of his plans did become dangerous when he was in Denver and decided it was time to quit. Turns out he was more addicted than you would think.

Having a surefire way to let your emotions lose was more therapeutic than you'd think. Unless you have an alternate persona, then you probably do know how it feels. Butters went back and forth between putting the costume on and not going back. Finally, after many minutes of pacing, he broke and grabbed the costume, locking the door.

The blonde's heartbeat quickened in excitement, blood rushing in his veins. His breath quickened as well as he -messily- slipped on the pants then the long-sleeved shirt. He buckled the green cape around his neck and hurriedly put on his boots.

After he had the full costume on, he was flooded with old memories. Good memories. The helmet glowed in the moonlight, red gem acting like a light. Butters tip-toed downstairs, avoiding the boy he had confused feelings about, hopefully not waking him or his parents in the process.

"Sleep tight Ken," Butters whispered kissing the other's forehead. He couldn't tell if that was creepy or gay. 

Professor Chaos quietly opened the door, a blast of -even colder- air hitting him in the face and that's when he realized that the supervillain costume was not very insolent. P.C. didn't know what he was going to do, but it was going to relieve the stress he'd been holding.

He walked around for a full hour, just treading his boots in the snow. He almost went to Stark's Pond but saw Tweek and Craig dancing on ice and decided to leave them alone. They looked so happy together. Something was clearly set up. Roses and candles were sprinkled across the ice like stars in the sky. It was a selfish thought but he wondered in Kenny would do something like that for him.

Kenny would.

Professor Chaos's evil deed ended up simply feeding the birds in front of a sign that said, "please don't feed the birds". He aggressively threw bread on the ground grumbling under his breath. "Hey, dude." He heard a familiar voice ask.

"Oh, hi Ky- uh, I mean, you will suffer the wrath of Professor Chaos! Now you may watch as soon, the world will burn! Mwhahahaha!!" Butters cackled before ignoring his friend and throwing more bread at the birds. He didn't know Kyle. Professor Chaos didn't know Kyle.

"Yeah, you do that. My world is already burning and I just want someone to rant to so I don't really care what your name is, so scooch and let me talk." Kyle said pushing the villain to the side and forcing a spot on the bench. "So... Professor Chaos, my SBF doesn't like me, he and his boyfriend broke up. Again! So what did he do!? Go crying to me!" The Daywalker was pissed. Perhaps at Stan, perhaps at Wendyl, but definitely at himself.

Kyle went on and on about Stan for quite a while. It got to the point that it made the villain uncomfortable to sit next to him. The Jew had so many opinions, and they were all so strongly suited. "So what's wrong with your life?" Kyle asked calming down.

"Huh?"

"Dude. You're Butters and you're not fooling anyone. You're wearing clothes made out of tinfoil and paper, and quite literally throwing whole slices of bread and birds. Or, were. You scared off all the birds with your bread throwing."

Butters looked down in shame. What was he doing? Really, what was he doing? Falling back into old habits, that's what. He should have gotten over this by now, but the pressure just got to him. It was so easy being someone you aren't but he wasn't even acting like he did last time he was Professor Chaos.

The blonde nodded holding his cheeks in his hands. "S-sorry fella. I guess I just had a strange week and didn't know how to react. I..." He wondered if telling Kyle what happened would be an invasion of Kenny's privacy. But Kenny didn't even remember what happened! "I was told a secret and I don't know what to do..."

The Jew raised a brow. "Secret?" Now things were getting interesting. "What secret?" He asked like he didn't care. "W-well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret now would it feller?" Butters replied.

"Look, I can't help if I don't know what it is. Getting someone pregnant and stealing 50,000 dollars are very different." Kyle stated being logical. It was one of his many talents. One only Craig seemed to harbor beside him. Despite that, they never really got along.

Butters looked up in shock. "I would never do that fella!" He said worriedly. "You said you were going to burn the world."

"I didn't say that Professor Chaos did! And I'm Butters!"

Kyle rubbed his temples. How could Kenny put up with this? It seemed like he was trying to make the conversation go in circles! "I wasn't accusing you of anything, so can you please just tell me! I'm doing my best to help but you're not making it easy."

Butters apologized before taking a deep breath. "Kenny likes me. Like-likes me."

"So what's the secret?"

"Are you kidding! That's a big deal!" Butters protested crossing his arms in defiance and cold. He was shivering. He should have just stayed home. "Wait, you didn't know before?" Kyle asks, dumbfounded. Maybe he had just known Kenny for too long, or it was just that obvious, but the pieces just clicked.

The villain's mouth hung open. "No, I didn't know before!" He said a little angry. More at himself the Kyle. "Weird. Anyway, how'd you guess?" The Daywalker asked turning the conversation to a less... possibly painful topic.

"He got drunk and told me."

"Ahh... That makes sense." Kyle said not even phased by Butters confession. He knew Kenny didn't 'tell' people that he liked them. Either they asked him out and he said yes, or he dropped hints until they rejected him or asked him out. So in the short story, beer was the answer to love confessions. Kenny was a dumbass. Is a dumbass.

The Daywalker leaning back in the bench as far as he could. "So," He trailed off. "Do you like him back?" Kyle whispered. Butters buried his face in his hands, a small blush covering his cheeks. "That's the thing... I don't know..."

"You don't know?"

"I don't know! I want to make sure he's safe and warm but I can't seem to make him happy in the long run. Somethings wrong and I can't seem to fix it. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a crush but I do want to help him. He's my best friend. I don't was to ruin that." Butters sighed feeling like he could cry.

"Wow," Kyle breathed out. "Now I know why he likes you." They sat in silents for a few moments longer before Butters broke it. "What do I do?"

"There's nothing you can do. Kenny will continue to like you and you will continue to be his friend. And you can't just reject him out of nowhere because he'll know something's up. You just have to wait for him to say something. And by then hopefully, you'll know how to answer. Perhaps you'll even like him back."

Butters was a take back by Kyle's answer. It was the most sensible thing he'd heard since moving into South Park. Butters tightly hugged Kyle, sniveling into his shirts. "Thank you..."

"Dude, it's nothing. Now go home and change. You look like you fit in here and that's not a good thing."