y/n is a little bitch has entered the chatroom.

y/n is a little bitch: a chatroom chapter ??? impossible

my dad can drive us to area 51: Damn I just realized I have nothing to do with myself until September 20th,,,

y/n is a little bitch: sorry kaminari it be like that sometimes.

kirishimy dad left me: HEY DENKI WHAT IF I PUT MY MINECRAFT BED NEXT TO YOURS

kirishimy dad left me: jk

kirishimy dad left me: U N L E S S

my dad can drive us to area 51: As long as you say no bromo [wink]

minecraft tnt has entered the chatroom.

minecraft tnt: YOU BITCHES ARE FUCKING GAY

y/n is a little bitch: hey don't be a homophobe bakugou

minecraft tnt: BITCH I AM NOT SCARED OF HOMES I'M NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING.

y/n is a little bitch: hoes mad hoes mad hoes mad hoes mad

minecraft tnt: what?

my dad can drive us to area 51: YOU'VE NEVER PLAYED TUBER SIMULATOR?

y/n is a little bitch: brb my dad is calling me.

y/n is a little bitch has left the chatroom.

kirishimy dad left me: That was weird-

my dad can drive us to area 51: Yeah we all know y/n's dad left after he said he'd buy cottage cheese or some shit..

-

"Yes señor Shigaraki?" You answer your phone endearingly in your cluttered dorm room. When did I eat cheetos. Why are there so many cheetos on my rug. What the fuck.

"Y/N? Why are you talking about cheetos what the hell-"

You sigh. "SORRY. It was just introspection I was not talking to you I was talking to um.. myself."

"I can smell the cheetos from your room from over here. You rat." It did smell like cheetos. But not bad cheetos they were fresh cheetos. When did I eat the fucking cheetos though they smell fresh as fuck.

"..Anyways, your first mission is to get All Mights nudes from his phone."

"Pardon?"

"I AM NOT GAY I'M JUST- They're for, ahem, research purposes. We're thinking maybe his naked body will y'know hold a clue to something. Just saying, because y'know it's not like I want the nudes it wasn't my call."

"..."

"so"

"..."

"JUST GET THE NUDES OR I'LL KILL YOU, RATON." You sigh and reply with an 'alright, damn, I'm on it' You're not really sure why they'd need All Mights nudes but, you don't think you want to know anyway.

You put your phone in your pocket as you exit your dormitory, heading to Deku because out of everyone he'd most likely know All Mights phone password.

You spot his green ass hair in the halls and walk up to him. "Hi uh, Deku.. so-"

"Y/N FOR YOU I'D GO, AND UH- STEP TO A DUDE MUCH BIGGER THAN ME, NO QUIRKS INVOVLED, I MEAN EVEN THOUGH I'D GET FRICKED UP SINCE I ONLY WEIGH 123 BUT-"

"Deku-"

Midoriya forgets to breathe during his sentences, "LIKE, I'D GET BEAT INTO LITTLE DEKU PIECES FOR YOU. I'D GET BEAT TO MOTHERFRICKING SMITHEREENS-"

"DEKU. I'm in a pickle right now! A big pickle! A cringy pickle like a pickle rick pickle! I'll get back to all of you soon but, right now I need your help okay?"

-

"Okay Y/N I think this is his phone." Deku whispers to you as the two of you crouch behind a desk in the teachers lounge. "If I'm not mistaken I think his password is 'thighcruncher69'," He mumbles as he hands you a phone with an All Might phone case.

You pause. "Why the fuck do you know this-"

Swipe swipe, the password works and his phone unlocks. "Great, Its open. What do you need from his phone now?"

"Fvcksn nueeds" You mumble.

"Sorry?"

You wince. "HIS NOODLES GOD DAMNIT I NEED HIS BARE WEINER HIS UNWRAPPED TORTILLA CAN'T YOU SEE IZUKU?"

His face turns red. "WHAT WHY."

"CAN'T A GUY HAVE A HOBBY? Jesus Christ." You sigh while scrolling through All Might's camera roll.

"Your..your hobby is collecting heroes nudes?"

You shrug, "My therapist told me to try new things." You continued scrolling as Deku stayed silent. There were a lot of minion memes on there. Too many.

You look into recently deleted and, "AHAH, HE ACCIDENTALLY TOOK THIS NUDE LMAO MY ASS OFF LOOK MIDOMIDO-"

Deku covers his eyes with one hand and flails his other arm. "GOD Y/N I DON'T WANNA SEE THAT-!"

"Alright time to send this to my, ahem, my email. For business inquires you can email me at karensmith@itookthekidsbitch.org. and if you're a senior (highschool, college, citizen) you can get a discount on your stolen nude! If you're not impressed with the package money back guaranteed!"

"I'm guessing suicidal urges are guaranteed as well." Deku cries.

"C'mon Izuku, stop pretending like you've never seen All Mights dick before. Guaranteed."

-

What a ride. The two of you didn't even have to sneak out of the teachers lounge because no one gave a fuck. You called it a day and returned to your dorm as Deku went to train, so you decide to call Shigaraki up and send him the nudes.

"I sent you the nude, thirsty bitch." You say nonchalantly into the phone while changing the channels on your mini television back in your dorm.

"I told you they are for research purposes, shit."

"Alright so how long are you planning to make me be your henchman. It's getting real boring." You flop down on your bed.

You hear shuffling through the phone. "You're annoying as shit. We're planning on letting you go and getting someone else more tolerable."

You smile. "Alright brother. At least I'm not sitting round asking for All Mights nudes to beat my little chalupa to-"

"SHUT U-" You shortly hear the phone hang up. You laugh a little. They aren't as scary as I thought. You turn around and open up your laptop.

How much for tickets to Vegas..

- 

a/n i'm back to being obsessed with twenty one pilots as i was in like 2016 and idk how to feel about it. if you don't like twenty one pilots, open your mouth so i can insert my toe into it jkjkjk ew i'm sorry you can like what you like.

song recommendation: half●alive - arrow