1. Make some friends

2. Start back up my business online

3. Stand up for myself

4. Help my dad make his store a SUCCESS

5. Have my first kiss

I wasn't sure if it would be overdramatic to throw out my list. I did not stand up for myself, and after Friday, I was not sure if I actually had any new friends anymore. Or if I had friends in the first place.

But they did keep texting me all weekend, so I ended up leaving the list up. However, I ignored the texts and messages on Saturday, and I did not tell my parents what had happened at the party. They might force me to move schools if they heard about the third incident in two weeks. I wouldn't even blame them if they did, but I wanted to go back on Monday. I did not want to be weak and leave. I had never been so spineless before.

I wasn't exactly the strongest, and I don't usually stand up to people that often, but I had never really needed to before. I had a cushioned life back in Arizona. I was happily known as the girl with a style who had a delightful Instagram. I think people liked me, and I prided myself on being nice to people. Now I wasn't so sure how I fit in. I feel like I have a target painted on my back, and I am not even sure how it got there.

Was it really because of Eli? However, it kind of seemed he might have a target painted on his back too.

Maybe I should have left Eli alone the moment he walked away from me the first day, or at least when people warned me away. But I have a stupid crush on the boy with bright blue eyes, and I was stubborn and hurting that my childhood best friend had gotten the boy I had been pining over for years.

I wanted to fall in love again, and it was so comfortable with Eli. Even without being my boyfriend, he had made me feel special, but I didn't feel that way today. I didn't feel that way when he made it clear he only wanted me for one thing.

I think my parents thought I was hungover because it took me a long time to even make it out of my room on Saturday. I only came downstairs when my stomach was rumbling too loud to ignore.

---

On Sunday, Taylor texted me again, and I felt wrong ignoring her another day. Maybe she didn't know why Eli had been hanging out with me either.

She had heard what had happened from one of her friends, and she was worried about me. I explained to Taylor that it wasn't that bad and sent her a Snapchat proving that. I did love the job that Amber did on my hair, but I had not shown my parents yet; they would ask too many questions. So I kept my hair up in a ponytail all weekend.

Neither of them questioned it.

---

On Monday, Taylor found me during the first break and asked me where Eli had taken me after the party. I felt guilty when I said that he had just taken me home. It felt wrong lying to my new friend, but I wasn't sure how much longer we could be friends. Not if Eli didn't want anything to do with me.

I begged Taylor not to go off on the girls when they laughed at me in the hallway, but she didn't listen and chased them away.

While it was kind of Taylor for caring, my face got redder the more I heard, so I slipped away into my Spanish class, and I just hoped that no one else would say anything.

Spanish class was a nice break from my misery. Ms. Rosie was cheerful, especially for a Monday. When she told us in Spanish that she had been on a date this weekend, most of the class looked at her, confused. I guess that most people didn't care about the Spanish course at this school. Georgie, who had an obvious crush on Ms. Rosie and therefore tried hard in the class, looked devastated.

I was in a much better mood by the time I made it to History class until I realized that one of the girls, whose name was Nia, as I had learned by stalking Instagram on Saturday, was in my class. She sat in the back, staring at me. I tried my best to ignore her and look indifferent, but I think my face showed off more of my emotions than I would have liked.

I stayed in my seat for twenty minutes after class so I could escape to Maths without being seen in the hallway. I did not want to see anyone at this point. My History teacher looked at me confused because I wasn't in their next class, but I pulled out my notebook so it might look like I was studying.

I ran off to Maths just before the bell. Maths almost put me to sleep, but at least there were no Seniors in the class. I felt a little safer. I saw a text from Owen asking if I was in school, but I ignored it. He knew I was here, but he wanted to know where I was. I bet Taylor put him up to it.

At the end of class, I felt sick. Do I go to the lunchroom and sit with Taylor? Do I talk to Eli or completely ignore him? I still liked him - that wasn't going away - but I was done embarrassing myself. I wasn't sure the right way to go about it, though. I felt so lost like it was the first day of school again.

Skipping lunch seemed like the best option at this point.

My stomach hurt anyways, and the library would be an excellent place to get a head start on my History project. I might as well be productive if I am going to be this antisocial. Luckily, the Maths room was right around the corner from the library, so there was a minimal chance of being seen.

Once inside the library, I claimed a table in the back and found any books that I needed. The librarian smiled warmly at me when she saw me taking out books. It made me feel a bit better. There were only a few kids in the library, some reading and some playing cards. It was quiet. I put in my headphones and got to work.

Fifteen minutes later, I jumped when a hand touched mine from across the table. I looked up to see Eli staring at me. I glared at him. What is he doing here?

He leaned across the table and took my headphone out of my ear, placing it in front of me. I sighed and took out my other headphone, looking at him distastefully.

He audibly sighed, and I heard his chair scratch next to me as he pulled it out and sat down. Too close.

"You're mad at me." He said, quiet enough that no one was going to come after us for being too loud.

My breath hitched. I did not want Eli to think that. I mean, I was a little bit mad at him, but he had only known me for two weeks, and it was my stupid brain that had decided that he liked me too. Maybe Eli did like me too, but not in the way I did. Even if he had just wanted something from me, Eli did not have to be friends with me. I was leaving him alone, so I just don't understand why he couldn't leave me alone too.

Maybe I was a little dramatic about it, though. "No," I squeaked.

"What did I do?" he asked curiously.

I sighed; he was not going to let it go.

"I just... you didn't want to be seen with me, Eli. It seemed like you only wanted one thing from me," I said honestly—no point hiding anything now.

Understanding crossed over his face. "Oh my god, I am such an idiot, Betty."

I scoffed, agreeing with him.

"That's not what I was trying to do, Betty... I'm sorry. Why would you think that?" he said, his eyebrows furring.

"You said you didn't want anyone to know about, about any of it," I said. I don't understand why he is acting so confused. he spelled it out pretty clear. "You clearly had a reason that you had been so nice to me. But I am not ready for any of that, Eli."

My face went red, "I know what people say about you and... girls. What else were you implying?"

He sighed, "And you think that means I don't want you to be my friend?"

I looked at him, shocked. "I don't want to be your secret friend, Eli. I'm done embarrassing myself. Thank you for helping me, but I don't need you to pretend to be my 'friend'."

He let out a dark laugh, "All I meant is I didn't need you to spill my secret. I mean, you know what people think of me here."

"Eli, all I know is what you've told me. What secret?"

"That I'm poor; I have no money. Not even Owen or Taylor have been to my house. I promise Betty; I wasn't trying to do what you think I was trying to do. I wouldn't...."

Eli leaned back in his chair, flustered. All the warning I had been given flashed in my head. The wrong side of town. Bad boy. Aggressive.

And sure, he drove a beat-up car, dressed in regular clothes and did not flaunt his things. He was aggressive, but from what I had seen, he had always had a reason.

But he had also been kind to me, the new girl. And he was saying that last night I had the completely wrong idea.

"Do you not want anyone to know you're rich..?" I asked.

"I just didn't want you telling anyone where I live."

"Why?" I was confused. It did not make a lot of sense. I thought he would have had girls around at his house all the time. He had girlfriends. He had friends.

Eli looked around as if he was about to tell me the biggest secret of my life.

I wasn't expecting what he told me.

"When my mom died, it was her second time having cancer. The first time she had it, she had had it for a very long time, at least from what I remember. But for the first time. She beat it."

I gasped. His mom died of cancer?

He smiled sadly.

Eli continued, "She lived in remission for a long time. We weren't exactly poor, but medical bills pile up. We didn't go on fancy vacations or buy new things, but we were a happy family. My mom was healthy and was able to work. My dad loved his job, and my brother and I were happy we could even just run around the yard with our mom."

He paused, "But the second time, the cancer came quickly, and she was gone within a month of the diagnosis."

I took his hand gently, and he smiled slightly.

"It was devastating, but the community outpour of love was exceptional. People made sure we were fed and clothed. My mom's friends would come over and help my dad with my brother and me. I was ten, and he was eight. People even helped us keep our house in order."

I nodded, encouraging him to go on.

"But then a year went by and everyone kind of forgot. People moved on with their lives, and who can blame them? After a while, people can't focus on the fact that I have a dead mom anymore. Things got a little worse before they got better. My dad lost all his friends, and then he lost his job. My dad was struggling with money, but then he met Amber, and we started living comfortably. Much more comfortably than when my mom was alive."

He smiled, "They met at a widow meeting. Amber's first husband, her high school sweetheart, had died in a car crash. You may be thinking bad things about my dad, but they did fall in love - Amber and him. I am grateful to her because my dad might not have made it if it weren't for her. I have no idea how or why he got so lucky with her, but he did. He wouldn't have cared if she was rich or poor as dirt, like us. But she was rich, and that came with perks."

He pulled away from me, running his hand through his hair.

"We moved, and Brodie, my little brother, started private school. I stayed at my old school. My dad drove me to school every day for that first year. Then he got a nice new car, and I started taking the bus. Kyle and Jones knew that I moved, but I begged them not to tell anyone. I was only 12, but I knew what people would say about my dad about us. I lost friends, but I couldn't have anyone know that we were living so much better without my mom."

Eli looked a little lost after he finished his story.

"You felt guilty," I said.

"Yes," he whispered.

"Why didn't you care if I learned where you live? Why didn't you keep it hidden from me too?" I had to know, even if that wasn't the most important question right now.

He smirked, "I don't know, but I didn't care, but then it was just difficult to explain things. I guess I did a bad job of that, huh?"

I grinned.

"I wanted to be friends with you, Betty. I wasn't trying to use you. I am not who they say I am." He smiled back at me, and my stomach flipped.

I almost wanted to ask why he would want to be friends with me, but I held my tongue.

I smiled, "You know Eli, I don't think anyone would blame you, you know? Your dad either. People have to move on somehow."

He shook his head, "Sometimes it's just easier to keep quiet." I didn't push him.

"So please don't tell anyone where I live, and maybe not about Vampire Diaries." I laughed.

"But the rest of it is fine. So please stop ignoring me, you have already made things so much more interesting," he said, leaning back towards me and running a hand through my ponytail.

I blushed, and the lunch bell rang, warning us that we only had five minutes until class. I looked at my phone, shocked at the time. We had been talking almost the entire lunch.

Eli got up, "Okay, I have to go, I have a quiz, but I'll meet you after your gym class."

"Okay."

---

2491

"Sometimes we're holding angels
And we never even know
Don't know if we'll make it
But we know, we just can't let it show" - Ross Copperman

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