LISA's POV

"All ready now Love?" Chaeyoung asked smiling the moment we parked our car near the buidling where we're working. She turned the engine off and fixed our things before getting off.

"Are you excited Lili? It's been months now since you last set foot here. Our friends will be surprised to see you here for sure"

"Eomma Shin will be happy that we paid them a visit today." Chaeyoung uttered beaming still wearing that excited smile. Chaeyoung has been in a really great mood since last night when I told her that we could go visit our friends at work first before we head on to our scheduled appointment for my therapy.

Her mood clearly shows how badly she had missed her  work and our friends here which somehow pours a guilt feeling in my heart.

Eversince I woke up from my coma, Chaeyoung had been nothing but the most supportive and caring partner to her. She could have returned to her work and continued doing her usual routine, but instead she extended her leave so she could take care of me and my needs.

She would always put me first before anything else which both makes me happy yet sad at the same time.

For weeks that we've been living together with me having no memories of her, I have never seen Chaeyoung complained nor get frustrated even once.

And lately it pained me seeing that look on her face everytime she would get excited over something only to get a confused reaction from me, or when she unconsciously wrap me in a hug or steal a kiss from me only to see me flinch or be startled for a moment before responding to it.

I know it hurts her a little. But despite all of that, she would still flash that happy and grateful smile.

That's how pure Chaeyoung is..

And I know, she badly misses the old Lisa and their old life together.

I knew that well, cause I always hear her speak my name everynight in her sleep.

And it scares me.

I love her so much to the extent that everything about us frightens me.

What if I never have my memories back?

Will she still love me the same?

Or will she be caught up with the past?

Will she love the new Lisa like she did with the old one?

I was never a religous person. But every night I always do pray to God to give my memories back.

Cause all I ever wanted is for Chaeyoung to have her normal life back.

And it's driving me crazy.

Cause as much as I wanted to have my memories back, a part of my heart fears a lot about that same thought.

What If I have my memories back?

What will happen to the new Lisa if the old Lisa has returned?

Will I still remember these new memories with her that I have right now?

Or will these memories die along with the new self when the old one had returned?

"Babe, what's wrong?" I heard Chaeyoung asked worriedly which brought me to my senses. I was not aware that I completely zoned out from her.

"It's nothing Chaeng-Ah." I answered her with a faint smile. Chaeyoung then leaned closer to me and rested her chin in my shoulder. She then wrap her arms around my waist a little tighter than her usual hugs.

"Tell me what's bothering you Love? I know there is." she said while staring intently at me. Silence then finally filled between us.

"Did I ever mention to you the first time I met you Lili?" She asked all of a sudden which instantly caught my curiosity. She then stared at me and gave me a knowing smile.

"I will never forget that day Love. It was the first time that I have ever seen such beauty like yours my entire life Lisa-yah." Chaeyoung uttered at me still wearing that reminiscent smile.

"Don't you know that you used to have the saddest eyes Lisa? It was the first thing that I took notice about you." she continued with her story smiling.

"And when I met you again for the third time, you finally flashed that beautiful smile that brought me in another dimension. I could never imagine that a girl with the saddest eyes could ever release such beautiful smile that it left me in such awe and amazement."

"Your smile was so powerful that it somehow gave me this unexplainable sense of comfort and serenity Lisa-yah."

"It's like that kind of feeling when you finally got home after a long tiring day of work."

"For your smile is like a safe haven for me Lili."

"And that's when I told myself that I will do everything, for me to see that smile again." she said with utmost sincerity as she stare and trace my face with her fingers like I'm the best thing that ever happened in her life.

But that smile slowly faltered and her eyes started to tear up.

"But lately I'm sad cause I'm seeing those sad eyes again." Chaeyoung said with a faint smile which pricks my heart with guilt again.

"Tell me Love. What's wrong? You know you can always tell everything to me." She said assuringly, giving me constant kisses in my cheeks which somehow made me smile.

"I'm just scared Chaeyoung." I finally admitted to her.

"What if I never have my memories back?"

"What if we never go back to what we used to be?"

"What if we..." I didnt get the chance to finish what I was saying when Chaeyoung suddenly leaned forward and kissed my lips.

It was gently and assuring.

A statement that as long as we're together, everything will be alright.

Chaeyoung slowly pulled away from our kiss crying. She wiped her tears and smiled lovingly at me.

" You are alive and you're still with me Lisa.

"That is all that matters to me." She finally said with such sincerity as she stare lovingly at me.

"When you were still in coma, I begged God to save your life Lisa. I told him that I will never wish for anything else for myself again if he ever grant me my wish."

"And he did gave you back to me."

"I have watched you almost died a couple of times while you were in coma but look at us now."

"You came back to me."

"You finally found your way back home to me Lisa. And I would never ask for more aside from that.

"So to hell with memories."

"We can still create better new ones together Lili." she said still teary-eyed.

"So don't be too hard on yourself okay?"

"You always thought that I didn't notice it, but I do notice that you're always so anxious about how I feel Lisa-yah."

"And I know you always try your best to make me feel better or not be disappointed but Babe, please don't do that to the extent that you're going to lose sense of sincerity of that." she said with a faint smile.

"Like I always tell you Lisa-yah, I don't want you to feel obligated to do things for me just because I'm your fiancé or you just want to make me feel better."

"Please Lisa, don't love me out of pity." Chaeyoung said with a pained voice which confuses me more.

Why would she think of that?

Doesn't she know how deeply and helplessly inlove I am with her? I din't even need my memories back to do that. It just happened naturally.

Falling for Chaeyoung is an inevitable thing.

For it will always happen no matter what.

I look at her and stared at her with such love hoping that somehow she could finally be able to read my heart right this time.

"Hey, Love look at me." I uttered gently at her as I cup her chin and made her look at me.

"You got it all wrong Chaeyoung."

"I never did all of these just to make you feel better or I am doing this out of pity."

"Seriously, where did you get that idea?" I chuckled at her and kissed her lovingly.

"I'm just scared and guilty Babe."

"Cause all this time, you have been nothing but the best girlfriend for me while here I am, clueless and all confused. I can't even have my memories back."

"I'm scared of the thought that if I can never have my memories back, you will miss the old Lisa that you used to love so much and not see the new me the same as I was before."

"That's what scares me Chaeyoung. That I can't be the right person for you."

"You always put my needs first before yours and it doesn't feel right for me."

"Sometimes I worry that you might forget that you have your own life to live too because you've been too caught up of taking care of me."

"That's what scares me too Babe. That you're giving your all to me with out leaving something for yourself."

"I don't want to be that kind of person in your life that would always accepts but would not be able to give back something in return."

"You don't deserve that Chaeyoung."  I uttered sadly at her.

" I want to earn the love that you are giving me Chaeng-Ah."

"I love you and I'm sorry if I was never good with words or my actions had given you wrong impressions but I never felt obligated to do something cause what I feel about you is real and true."

"My lack of memories may distort my sense of reality but I will always be sure about how I feel for you Babe."

"Loving you will aways come naturally for me Chaeng-Ah."

"I'm really sorry Love. If I ever made you feel that way."

"I should have been vocal to you about how I feel since the beginning." I confessed with all sincerity and that's the only time Chaeyoung cried but this time it was tears of joy.

"You love me that much? Even if you can't remember everything about me?" she asked sounding like a 5 year old kid which made me chuckle. I pinched her cheeks and seized her in a loving kiss which she responded passionately.

"Yeah Chaeyoung. I'm so whipped at you and I always can't help myself but to fall for you deeper and deeper each day." I admitted sheepisly which made her release that sweetest smile. She took the navy blue cap with an embroidered C on the dashboard and gently put it in my head. She fixed it lovingly still wearing that whipped smile that never seems to falter.

"Chaeyoung-ah.." I mumbled calling her attention. She then shifted her gaze at me.

"What if I have my memories back, will I still remember all of this?

"Or will I only remember all the old ones as if this moment never happened?" I asked seriously which stunned her for a moment.

"I don't know Lisa. I never thought of that. I guess that's what we have to ask the doctor later." She answered while assessing me carefully.

"Is that what's bothering you Love?" She asked worriedly at me which I responded with eager nods.

"There are lot of things that bothers me to be honest." I chuckled at her while shaking my head.

"Chaeyoung-ah.." I mumbled again.

"Hmmmm.?" she responded while giving me constant kisses.

"If I ever have my memories back and have my old self again, and I forget that this new memories ever happened, I just want you to know that I love you so much Chaeyoung-ah."

"Please never forget that this new Lisa happened in your life and she did love you with all her heart." I finally said with tears in my eyes. Chaeyoung was taken a back and stared at me for a moment, trying to read what's been running in my head right now.

"Are you going to miss me if my old self ever comes back?" I asked with the cracking of my voice as I finally uncovered all of my fears to her. Chaeyoung was taken aback at my complex dillema. It was the first time that she was lost for words. It took her a moment to finally composed herself and respond at my sudden question. She hugged me tighter and suddenly everything drifted away.

"Is that what's keeping you awake these past few nights Love?" Chaeyoung whispered sadly at me which I responded with slow nods and from there, I was not able to suppress my bottled up emotions anymore. My lips finally let out that continous painful sobs as I held her tighter, too afraid to lose the only memory I have about her.

I don't know why but these past few days, there were so many things that scares me and it's been consuming me little by little, making me all anxious and restless.

"I'm sorry Love, I have no idea." Chaeyoung said worriedly as she pull away from the hug and wiped my tears.

I'm sorry that I was too caught up with the past that it scares you a lot, fearing that I will only love you more if you have your memories back." she said with such regret.

"Hey Babe look at me." she softly whispered at me as she tilt my chin up while I try my best to avoid her gaze feeling all guilty for feeling that way.

"Lisa look at me, please?" She pleaded and that's the only time I was able to look straight in her eyes.

"Love, I want you to listen carefully okay?"

"It's only your memories that are lost. Not your sense of self Lisa."

"There is no such thing as old Lisa and new Lisa."

"You will always be that same Lisa that I love regardless if you have your memories or not. So don't ever think that I love the old Lisa more than the new Lisa because you are both them.

"It will still be you whether it comes back or not."

"So don't lose your sense of self on this one please?"

"I know how confusing this situation is for you, and I can't imagine what you're going through right now but Babe, you will always have me okay?"

"Like what I always tell you, I will always be with you till the end of the line."

"Always.."