[2.4]

Tension Stress

Rae was trapped.

In a way, she always felt trapped. Because of her police rank. Because of the prestige of her name. But mostly, because of her title as Guardian. She never really questioned the feeling, only thought about it in her darkest moments. She loved what she was doing, she really enjoyed it. Helping the people of Republic City, helping Korra...

But never was she physically and mentally trapped.

There were times in her still short-lived life when she was physically trapped, either by the orders of her mother or by the lunacy of Red Lotus terrorists (a memory Rae swore to forget, even though the terrifying scars on her hands didn't let her).

But both times, her mind was at peace. She knew, one way or another, she would gain her liberty back.

Now, she was physically trapped, indeed. The United Force's guards stationed in front of her infirmary room wouldn't leave at any moment and Rae knew they had clear orders from their general to keep an eye on her every movement. But that didn't bother as much as what was happening inside her head.

The images of what happened at the South Pole kept replaying in her mind, like one of those things Asami called movies. She remembered every moment, every word uttered by Akeno. And she couldn't stop thinking about it.

She felt trapped. In her own thoughts, in her own actions, in her own mind. She couldn't escape herself.

Katara had treated her wounds like there were only scratches. Of course, the master didn't leave without scolding Rae like a child.

Korra often visited and told her about the problems between her father and her uncle, and about her tribe's worry towards the Northern troops.

Iroh only seemed to leave her side when his duties needed him. He had gotten a few weeks off from work, yet either Korra's father or Unalaq always seemed to need his help. The general was tempted to ignore them, but Rae managed to convince him that she wouldn't disappear in the short moments he was gone. They had yet to talk about the incident before his departure six months prior, and Rae knew it heavily rested atop his mind. She just couldn't think about anything else apart from Akeno's words.

It has been a few nights since Rae and the others got back to the southern tribe. Master Katara has finally finished her healing sessions with Rae and the woman was free to roam around.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright? No headaches? Isn't it too late already?"

Rae signed while continuing to fix her coat. She nodded, discreetly taking her metal fans, and hiding them in the long sleeves of the coat.

"I'm fine Iroh," she said, finally looking at the man. He stood tall by the door, leaning on the wall with his arms crossed and a deep frown on his face. He nodded slowly, still unsure of her answer.

"I need to take some air," Rae said, taking a big breath before scrunching her nose in disgust, "Your free to come with me."

Iroh gave her a small nod, the frown still displayed in his face. Rae gave him a small smile and leaped out of the room. Within a few seconds, she was already outside, admiring the night sky. It was for the first time Rae ever saw the colourful lights in the sky, apart from the moment the portal was opened. The stars were shining brightly among the lights, illuminating the usually dark sky.

"I've never seen them before," she whispered when she felt a presence behind her.

"How come?" asked Iroh, looking from the sky to her face. "You never went to the north pole?"

Rae shook her head, making Iroh's eyes widen slightly. He never expected her to have never gone to the north. He knew that a lot of the scrolls about the guardian were kept there, and he had imagined she'd probably visited since she had as much knowledge as it existed on her title.

"I was always refrained from it," she said, not taking her eyes away from the sky, "The White Lotus told me it wasn't safe. Even though I travelled, they tried to keep me as much as they could in either Republic City, the fire nation capital or Zaofu.

It's also one of the reason my Waterbending training was delayed. Before my 18th birthday, I barely got to travel to the South Pole. And they after I joined the police, I barely stepped foot out of Republic City."

"Why do you think the White Lotus never allowed you to travel to the Northern Tribes?" asked Iroh gently, tearing his gaze away from the woman when he saw the corner of her eyes meet his.

She frowned and shrugged, looking down at the snowy ground. Without another word, she started walking, letting the cold breeze ruffle her silvery hair.

At first, Iroh thought she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings. She was walking, slowly and steadily, looking around the sky. But she seemed not to see the small natural stair in the ground, making her loose balance. Before she could fall, the general looped his arm around her waist and caught her.

"Are you ok?" he asked, his eyes wide with worry.

Rae blinked a few times, looking at her feet. "Yeah... I'm fine," she said, yet Iroh could hear the confusion in her voice. "I just... didn't see the stair."

Quite confused by what happened, Rae continued to stare at the ground. Yet her vision didn't seem to get any better. As much as she blinked, the blur didn't seem to go away. After a few more seconds of uncontrollably blinking and rubbing her eyes, Rae finally got her perfect vision back. Only then did she see the small stair and her ears tinted red with embarrassment. When she realized Iroh's hand was still wrapped around her waist, the pinkish colour extended to her cheeks.

She turned her head to look at the man and gave him a small smile. "I'm fine really," she whispered. Iroh nodded, yet his grip didn't let go. The two were frozen in their spot, neither moving, towards or away from each other.

"Are you sure you're alright?" asked Iroh slowly. It wasn't the first time he saw her distracted in this way. She had been like this ever since they came back from the South Pole.

Before Rae couldn't answer, they heard a shout in the distance. Korra came, running and panting with Naga behind her. Her eyes were full of anger and sadness.

"Rae!" she shouted when she finally saw the woman, "I need to talk to you!"

The Guardian walked away from Iroh, suddenly feeling cold. Yet she didn't stop until she was standing in front of the Avatar.

"What happened, Korra?" she asked, her voice laced with worry.

The young Avatar look down and shut her eyes. Rae placed a hand on her shoulder, gently not to startle her, and turned to Iroh. The man cleared his throat and said, "I'll be in my quarters, if you need me." Rae nodded and mouthed a 'thank you', to which the general nodded and gave a discreet smile.

Guiding her through the streets, Rae led Korra to a small bench. The view they had from the small hidden spot was wonderful and calming. When they were both seated, Korra sighed and put her head in her hands.

"I didn't want to tell you this before because you were recovering," started Korra, "but... I feel like my family has abandoned me!"

Rae looked softly at the avatar, inciting her to continue her story.

"Unalaq told me everything!" Rae tensed at the mention of the chief. "How my father was banished from the north! How Tenzin and he kept me locked here while I trained! And I just found out that my mother knew too... And that apparently, Varrick is plotting some sort of rebellion against Unalaq!"

Rae stayed silent ever since Korra mentioned her training. After Korra finished talking, the older woman breathed in and placed a hand on the teenager's shoulder.

"Your father was just trying to protect you," she started, "And Varrick's word isn't always to be taken seriously". Korra looked up confused.

"What do you mean?"

Rae signed, placing her frozen and shaking bare hands on her pockets, instantly regretting not having taken her leather gloves. "Well, Varrick has a big mouth..."

"Not about that!"

Rae struggled with her words, "I meant to say that everything your father did was to protect you. The fact that he didn't tell you about his past, whatever happened... or how he and Tenzin kept you here... There are some very dangerous people in this world..."

Korra looked at Rae with wide eyes. "You knew too?" she whispered.

At that moment, Rae saw all the hope vanish from Korra's eyes. "Korra," Rae started, trying not to panic, "The white Lotus wanted you here for a reason. Your family wanted you to have a normal life... a safe life! This was the only place where that could have been possible."

The young Avatar scoffed. She rose from the bench and started pacing around, her hands tugging at her scalp. "I can't believe it," she whispered.

"Korra," said Rae, so sternly that it caught the girl's attention, "I don't know what Unalaq has told you. But I have a bad feeling about him."

The young Avatar was shaking her head repeatedly. Rae sighed, knowing the situation wouldn't end well.

Korra suddenly stopped moving and looked at her friend. "Did Varrick talk to you?" she asked, making Rae look at her in confusing. "Did my dad?"

"What?" exclaimed the Guardian in disbelief, "Korra, I haven't seen Varrick in a long time and the last time I saw your father was when we came back from the South Pole. A-And, I was with general Iroh all day, I—"

"It was you!"

Rae's words died in her throat when Korra shouted those words with a hint of realization in her voice. The young Avatar's eyes were full of anger as she pointed her index finder to the Beifong woman.

"You denied my request to continue by training in republic city!"

Rae scoffed. With everything that was happening, Korra decided it would be a great time to bring up the events of over five years ago. The Guardian always felt guilty for telling the White Lotus that she would never agree with Korra training in Republic City when they asked her approval. But for Rae, it was the right decision. It was the only decision.

"You were thirteen, Korra," started Rae, her voice raising with every word, "You had no idea of the dangers on Republic City! You still don't!"

Korra opened her mouth to speak but Rae shook her head. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart, before taking a few steps closer to the Avatar.

"There are some people in this world," continued Rae with a deep voice, "that want both you and me dead. Not the stupid gangs you find at every street corner in Republic City. These people, they don't even compare to Amon and his useless pawns. Assassins, Korra, criminal, psychopaths, benders and non-benders so skilled that you can barely overpower them!"

"But you had no right!" exclaimed Korra with tears in her eyes, "That was the only time I was allowed to ask the White Lotus for something. They promised me my ideas would be considered! They even told me that I would get what I wanted without opposition! But they had to ask you! And you had to say no!"

The woman stared at Korra in disbelief and went on and on. She clearly remembered the day she verbally didn't approve of Korra's training in Republic City. Her mind still burned with horrendous memories, and she still couldn't properly bend and move her hands.

"But what do I know of danger, right?" asked Korra with a shout, waking up Rae from her trance. After a moment of silence, the young Avatar scoffed. "I bet the only things you did at the police was to sign papers and laze around your prestigious office," she whispered, turning away from the older woman with her hands crossed to her chest, "I don't need anybody, let alone you... Unalaq is the only one that can help me."

The Avatar's words were enough to bring Rae to her limits. Slowly, she brought her hands to her back and pressed her palms together, trying not to hiss in pain when the burning sensation caused by her old scars shot through her arms. Her memory started to flood with the numerous horrifying cases she had to deal with.

"So be it," she calmly said. Korra frowned, quite shocked by the sudden change in the woman's attitude. She turned her head to look at Rae from the corner of her eyes. The older woman's voice wasn't loud nor too quiet, yet Korra felt the stinging venom directed to none other than her. "If you say that you don't need me, then I shall not help you anymore."

The Avatar had to hide her shock with a forced scoff. Even though she knew Rae was angrier than she ever was before, Korra never thought she would ever leave her side.

"I am still your Guardian," continued Rae with a slight shake in her voice, "But I will only be the Guardian. I will help you when our world, or the spirit world, are in danger. But that's it. If you need someone for anything else, I'm afraid that for the moment you'll have to find someone other than me."