Each cat avoided Pepperpelt's gaze, not prepared to have seen her so soon.

The Skyclan queen spat out her prey when she came within a fox-length of their paws. Her eyes were full of frightful alarm.

"It stinks of wolf. Did you chase it off? I saw it while we were hunting." Pepperpelt's gaze was incredulous, but once again no one answered.

"Did something happen to my kits?" She leaned over to one side, trying to peer around Trufflefur's shoulder.

"What's that behind you?"

The brown tom scooted closer, blocking her view of the freshly dug graves.

"WHERE ARE MY KITS?" Pepperpelt repeated with a roar when no one stepped forward to respond. Her claws slid out, glinting in the cloudy-blue night.

"IF THOSE ARE MY KITS GRAVES I'M GOING TO-"

"Calm down!" Sootface snapped at her, but Pepperpelt's speckled gray fur was bristling wildly. She turned around with her back arched.

"You're the one that was watching them, Crescentpaw." The queen spat the name with venom in her voice.

"So where are they?"

Crescentpaw dropped her head, ears flattening. Even she herself was unwilling to face this mother's wrath.

"We just buried Hillflower and Cloverkit. Oatkit is back at the Windclan camp." Jadestar swallowed.

"The wolf crossed paths with Crescentpaw and the kits while she was watching them. She tried to send the kits back to Windclan while she went to retrieve Hill-"

"Cloverkit is... dead? In that grave right there?" Pepperpelt flicked her head back towards the black tabby apprentice. Her gaze burnt a hole through the space between them.

"Yes... I-I don't judge you for blaming me," Crescentpaw said quickly, with wide reprehensible eyes. She was prepared for the queen to strike her.

"I'm sorry. I was distracted when the wolf came upon us. I tried to... I know it was my fault-"

Pepperpelt sank to the ground. Her shoulders shook as she crouched there and began sobbing her grief. The warrior's eyes were creased in distress, and when she opened them they were streaming.

This is worse than her clawing me. Crescentpaw's forepaws drew into her belly. She felt her throat tighten, having to choke back her own sob of guilt.

It's all my fault.

Pepperpelt suddenly turned her head and stared over at Crescentpaw.

"You should've been the one to die." She said, her eyes bloodshot. "You're the reckless apprentice who acts on every impulsive idea, not Cloverkit!" Her sides were heaving as she trembled and glared.

"You left my kits for a full-grown medicine cat!"

The she-cat's eyes were so full of emotion, Crescentpaw couldn't break her stare. She could only sit there and take it as Pepperpelt tore into her.

"You'd better hope Oatkit is still alive. All of this is your fault. If we hadn't of left Skyclan territory, Cloverkit would be in her nest in the trees right now!" She snarled and screamed.

Crescentpaw couldn't deny a word of it. Guilt caused her to lower herself to the ground.

I didn't mean for this to happen!

"My precious kit! My perfect Cloverkit!" Pepperpelt shivered again, her head dipping as she let out a reverberating yowl. The Skyclan queen didn't look up from her huddle of grief this time.

"I'm so sorry, Pepperpelt!" Crescentpaw's ears were so flat against her head that it looked like she didn't have any.

Sorry doesn't mean anything. Her gut twisted into a writhing rats nest as she huddled into herself.

Sootface glanced at her, then murmured. "Do you realize now that you can't do everything, apprentice?" His gaze turned into a condemning one.

"It was an accident, though." Trufflefur cut in with an agitated mew. "Wasn't Hillflower's death as well?"

"Crescentpaw had one job. To watch the kits!" Sootface shot back, interrupting the Thunderclan tom.

🐈‍⬛

The cats sat awhile longer, as Pepperpelt wept. The cloud layer above them was mackerel-grey. Clots of stormy cotton blew toward them, hinting at rain.

When the clan cats finally moved off, the wolf-scent was beginning to fade on the fleeting wind. Sootface carried Pepperpelt's grouse for her.

They found Oatkit clinging to the highest branch of Windclan's maple tree. He was so far up that it took awhile to coax him down. When the tomkit finally dropped onto all four paws, his mother embraced him with a nuzzle over his shoulder.

Then Pepperpelt told him what had happened to Cloverkit, because that's the first thing Oatkit had asked.

He had even yowled "Where's Cloverkit?!" while clinging to a skinny tree branch. But no cat would tell him till he'd reached the ground.

Crescentpaw didn't want to listen. She turned her face away and tried to blot out to the young tom's dismay.

"But.. she was just here." His voice broke through her flattened ears anyway. "Right before I ran we were learning warrior moves together."

Oatkit seemed beyond disbelief, as if the thought of losing his sister had never occurred to him.

Jadestar and Hillflower kept them so safe. And I ended all that when I brought them out here on the moor.

She recalled the medicine cat's professionalism and patience, as well as little Cloverkit's independence and curiosity.

How is it they're gone? They were just here with us, alive and talking and breathing. I hate this feeling.

Again...

Crescentpaw's legs were dragging by the time they crossed the Riverclan border. Her thoughts were still badgering her. She remembered falling off the wolf twice, and both times not causing any damage that slowed it down.

Maybe it was a mistake doing this on my own. She didn't know what to think.

Trufflefur padded alongside her. He avoided a thin stream of water beside his pads. Crescentpaw crouched down to take a drink.

"So how did you and Hillflower become separated? She's the one that led the wolf onto Crescentpaw and your kits." Sootface mumbled around the large bird some time later.

"I ran with the prey when I saw the wolf," Pepperpelt snapped, her meow full of impudence.

"I owe it to my kits to stay alive."

Does that mean Hillflower could've lived, if she had dropped their prey?

No cat will ever know.

"Besides, I left Hillflower because I was worried about them. I went all over the place searching for my kits, and when I saw that they weren't there, and Crescentpaw wasn't either-."  She stopped and swallowed, blinking as if fighting away tears.

"And I didn't know one of them was back there getting killed!"

The she-cat's eyes blazed while she curled her lip in a repugnant manner. No cat could meet her gaze, and none of them could say anything on behalf of themselves.

"I don't want to reach Riverclan without my daughter," Pepperpelt growled from the back of her throat.

Crescentpaw's ears burned. She knew that she was most at fault, since she had offered to watch the kits.

It was such an awful decision, knowing I don't have claws.

"Cloverkit would've made a fine warrior," Sootface agreed. Crescentpaw's gaze faltered momentary, as she stared into the dark shadows shrouded between and underneath Riverclan's foliage.

I was so useless in that attack. I didn't help anyone. She looked down at her dirt-stained legs. They padded methodically across the wet terrain.

I can scrape dirt out of a grave, but I can't properly hunt or fight. At least to some extent; all I'm good for is helping dig graves.

Like an elder.

"I can't do this. I don't want to do this. I don't want to lose my other kit to a wolf. Oh, Starclan. Cloverkit, I'm so sorry." Pepperpelt began sobbing again. "My kit is dead on Windclan territory. I can't even visit her grave. I-I can't.." her voice quivered.

"Hurry, everyone circle around Oatkit so he isn't vulnerable!" The queen fretted, and all of the other cats listened.

Jadestar didn't even scold her. The whipping wind was putting them all on edge. It reached down to the wetland floor, ruffling the fur along their backs.

Crescentpaw tried to meet Oatkit's gaze as he followed his frantic mother. The tomkit's yellow eyes were downcast.

Rumbles of thunder crossed the landscape with a resounding growl. She searched for Silverpelt, but could see no stars. The sharp slating air was causing her eyes to water.

The cats lowered their heads and pushed on. Eating the quail had been forgotten. When the clouds broke open and rain poured down, they loped into an exhausted run.

"There's shelter in my camp. Let's hurry."

Crescentpaw led them through familiar paths on Riverclan's territory. Her clanmate's scents clung to the wet fronds and grasses. They skirted a few dripping holly bushes and padded beside dark swathes of fern.

Shadows darkened her swirled tabby pelt. Crescentpaw's feet slapped into puddles and splashed water onto her legs. She glided over the wet earth, touching soaked foilage and sending more water droplets spattering across her flank.

"We're here," she said with relief when she saw the dark abyss that was her camp entrance. A cat's eyes flashed beside the opening, where they stood on sentry.

Racoonstripe was the cat on guard. His eyes narrowed in scrutiny.

"You sure do disappear a lot" the tomcat remarked, sounding riveted.

The apprentice's paws nearly dragged, and her flank was matted with twigs and sticker plants. Wet, chilled and tired-eyed, all of the cats bunched behind Crescentpaw while she paused at the entrance.

"I'll go and wake the camp." The Riverclan warrior turned with his striped tail beckoning.

"Come inside and eat your prey. We've got a few fish we can share."

"I'm not eating fish," Sootface complained. Crescentpaw made sure to thwack her wet tail in his face when she passed him. It was satisfying when he flinched with an enraged hiss.