Day 00010 Mission Nilex

With a jolt, Ayla woke up sucking gulps of air, her heart pounding in her ears. She sat up and forced herself to calm the panic, using the techniques she'd been taught. But the dream remained vivid in her mind with the certainty of death.

«Canaisis?»

«Yes, Ayla. Are you alright?»

«I need to know if it was real.»

«Was what real, Ayla?»

«My dream.»

«I was aware that you were dreaming, but I respect your privacy as well, so my observations are limited to your health only. Will you tell me what you dreamed?»

«The Captain was spacewalking when your cargo hangar exploded. He was badly hurt.»

«The events you describe happened long ago. The Captain is very healthy and quite safe at the moment.»

«You're sure?»

«Yes, Ayla, the Captain is in good health. I think you saw something from the distant past.»

«It didn't feel like a Journey. It felt like a dream, but it was also quite similar to a Memory.»

«Perhaps you're gaining more control of your Gift than you know. But for now, rest. The Captain is well—his injuries healed a long time ago in the past.»

As Ayla contemplated Canaisis' words, she realized that the records of Canaisis' origins were woefully lacking. Ayla had glimpsed what Gareth's people had been in her dream, long before the Great War. She knew how advanced they'd risen compared to Earth of today...

What was it like to watch over Humanity, to see through the Captain's eyes, as time passed? To observe civilizations rise and fall, as Humanity clawed its way back from the brink of extinction? What was it like to captain the single greatest technological creation of his people's time and look down upon Earth from orbit? Did he feel helpless? He'd been doing this all alone for so long.

«Canaisis, when exactly did the Captain come from?»

«I've told you, Ayla, I cannot answer that. You must ask the Captain yourself.»

«Then how old are you?»

«Ship time or Earth time?»

Ayla thought for a moment. «Ship time.»

«A woman does not reveal her true age, but I've seen many centuries pass.»

Ayla did some quick estimates with what she could remember from her classes on time dilation. Her eyes widened in realization. «And most of that time is flight time, isn't it?»

«Yes, Ayla. I urge the Captain to cold-sleep as much as possible to maximize his lifespan.»

«And you're alone during that time...»

«Yes, but the Long Years give me time to think. Sometimes, that can be a curse. But as long as the Captain is safe, I'm comforted. I have my Mission.»

Another realization struck Ayla. «Does the Captain know what your Mission is?»

«That would undermine his motivation in his own Mission, and therefore, undermine my own. No, Ayla. He does not need to know my motivation, and I ask you to respect this.»

Ayla bowed her head as she sent the thought, «I hear you, and I carry the Burden with you.»

«I hear you, my sister.»

Canaisis' response both startled and pleased Ayla, and she smiled. Then the sudden sense of being watched made her turn her head.

Lina was awake in her chair, watching her curiously. "What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

"What's it like having a computer in your mind?"

"Oh, it's the same as talking to you or anyone else. I just don't have to speak the words, that's all. No need to be wary, you should try talking to her yourself—she's very open to conversation."

"She?"

"Yes, Lina. Canaisis is not an 'it'. She's female, as much as you and I."

Lina cocked her head. "Any machine can be programmed to have a female voice. That doesn't make it a female."

"I've seen her, Lina. She's very much a female."

"Seen her? What do you mean?"

"She came to speak to me in my Journey when I was Lost. She's the one who told me I was dying, and asked my permission to give me the medical nanos. Because she can't give them without consent. But, the point is, she appeared to me as a Human female."

"I see... I didn't know you had to give consent. Why is that?"

Ayla sent the question to Canaisis.

«It's the Captain's orders, Ayla. You must ask him yourself for further information.»

Ayla returned her focus to Lina, just realizing she'd turned her eyes away while listening to Canaisis.

"The Captain has given orders. I'm not sure of his reasons, but I'm sure he has them."

"That sounds ominous, Ayla. What do we really know about these medical nanos?"

"I know the Captain has them himself and has had them for a very long time. He looks healthy to me. What do you think?"

"Alright, he seems physically and mentally healthy, and I would like to know more. But not right now, though. Back to the gender issue. A machine can send an image of any gender it wants. That doesn't make it female."

Canaisis interjected before Ayla could answer. «I, however, was designed around the female matrix. Therefore you could say that I was born female like you. And like your sister Lina, my mental matrix mirrors the same synaptic patterns that her own brain developed as her cells grew. It's not just the reproductive organs that make her a female, it's the many factors of her entire body that make her female. If her vagina was removed, would that make her no longer a female?»

«I'm not repeating all that, and I'm definitely not going to ask her that question. She's suspicious of machines enough as it is—that question coming from you might make her grab a shuttle and launch.»

Canaisis' laughter came loud and clear in Ayla's mind. «It's amusing—the Captain had brought up that very idea just a few hours ago. My answer is the same: the outer doors are locked for the time being.»

«What? Why? Never mind, Lina is looking at me funny.»

«I'm sorry for interrupting—carry on. I want to hear your response.»

Ayla shook her head to herself and met Lina's gaze, smiling. "You know, I could argue with you for days about how a machine can have a gender, but I wouldn't be able to convince you. Help me get up."

Lina looked puzzled. "Why? Where are we going?"

"I'm starved." Alya threw her legs over the bed and automatically reached for the hairpin to place it in her hair. Lina stood up to help Ayla to her feet when she paused, staring above Ayla's head.

Ayla froze. "What's wrong?"

"The butterfly just landed on your hairpin."

"Oh." Ayla cupped her face with both hands and tilted her head. "How do I look? Do the colors complement my eyes?"

Lina giggled at the silliness of the question.

Ayla extended her arm. "Come, give me a hand. Where are my clothes?"

"I have them in a drawer that comes out of the wall. See those three little circles on the wall over there? Well, you press one and a drawer pops out."

"Oh. And what is Nura up to?"

"Well, somebody has to run the aquaponics, and it happens to be her turn. She promised to bring some food back with her."

Ayla was now standing on her own feet, getting a feel for her strength and balance. Lina stepped back, watching Ayla as if trying to decide whether she should throw Ayla back into the bed.

"I can't wait on her. Plus I need to be doing something, not laying here in bed with my thoughts. We can save her the trip and eat at home."

Lina nodded. "Okay, I'll grant you that." She headed to the drawer, opened it, and drew out a set of ship clothes.

"Thank you," said Ayla as Lina laid them on the bed. "Wait. Lina, how is it you're wearing your clothes and not a ship suit? How are you using the transport tube?"

Lina looked down at her dress, grinned, and cocked her hip. "Haven't you noticed? I've grown a little fatter? I got them on underneath, silly." She lifted her dress to reveal a pants' leg neatly folded halfway up her calf. "Besides, it's chilly in the hangar."

"Oh. Good idea."

Lina returned to the drawer, pulled out a bundle of dark blue and gold, and threw it at Ayla hard, smiling. Ayla caught it and her balance, still feeling weak. But forcing herself to move seemed to help. She wrapped her robe around the gray ship clothes and tucked it in around her waist. She looked up just in time to get a face full of sash cloth thrown at her. Lina had been waiting.

Ayla chided herself. She should have sensed the anticipation. Fake-scowling at Lina's big grin, she wrapped the sash around her waist and secured it. Lina handed her the gray slipper boots they'd all been given. She sat down on the bed to pull on the boots, but paused in mid-pull at a faint sound of distant howling. Her hands went cold and started shaking, then her whole body chilled as memories started filling her mind.

"Hey! I'm right here." Lina's voice was soft and filled with love.

Suddenly Ayla saw Lina standing before her, placing a hand on her shoulder. The warmth from that hand broke the spell, snapping her from the wind. She saw the concern in Lina's eyes.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened."

"It's okay, sister." Lina drew her into a hug. "I'm right here, and I'm not letting go of you."

The goosebumps on Ayla's arms dissolved from Lina's warm embrace. Ayla forced herself to reclaim stability and squeezed Lina back before pushing her off.

"Come on," Lina said. "I want to get out of here before you starve to death. I can hear your stomach from across the room."

Ayla couldn't have agreed more. She tugged the second slipper boot on and slid off the bed.

"Then let's go find Nura."

They made their way to the hangar, Lina remaining silent as if respecting Ayla's need to think. Ayla walked beside her, gazing vacantly ahead as she remembered the images of her Journey.

Her heart ached for Gareth, for all he'd experienced, for all the pain he'd felt. And yet, he endured. He hoped. His Mission was proof of that. More importantly, he'd chosen to hope. This was what stood out the most in Ayla's mind.

He'd made a choice to not become bitter. He was alone, but he chose to not be lonely. Canaisis was a companion, yes, but Humans needed Human contact. Ayla could now appreciate what having Canaisis in your mind meant for Gareth. Canaisis' presence during her Journey had most likely saved her own life. Somehow, she knew she wouldn't have returned if Canaisis hadn't been there. Even now, she could feel Canaisis if she thought about it. Gareth had said he was not alone, and now she understood. It was so strange, but not in a bad way. Just different.

«Canaisis? Where's the Captain?»

«He's outside, setting up a long-range optic sensor.»

«He's what? I mean, why?»

«There are four ships that have the Captain's interest.»

Lina spun her head to look at Ayla as Ayla's stomach tightened in fear. Ayla placed her hand on Lina's arm to calm her and herself.

«Are we being pursued?»

«No, Ayla, they're headed out-system on the planetary plane. We're headed due solar north, an entirely different course. There's nothing to fear.»

The knot in Ayla's stomach loosened, and she smiled at Lina to reassure her.

«Tell the Captain, I'm returning to the hangar, please.»

A gentle laughter sounded in her mind. «He already knows. It's my duty to keep him apprised of our passengers, especially you. He's very concerned about your well-being. Both of us are.»

«I'm so sorry I caused so much trouble.»

«Did you plan all this, Ayla?»

«No, of course I didn't. It's just that—»

«Then I will hear no more of this, Ayla. What happened is no one's fault—it just happened. You're safe now. That's all that matters.»

Ayla realized she'd stopped walking, and Lina was watching her with eyes crinkled with concern.

"It's okay, Lina. Nothing to be worried about."

"Then what is it?"

Ayla started walking forward as she answered, "Canaisis said the Captain is outside setting up a long-range optical sensor."

"Why?"

"There are four ships that have his interest. For a moment, I thought that meant we were being pursued."

Ayla felt Lina's fear spike.

"It's okay, Lina, they're not following us."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Canaisis told me so."

"That must be so weird, having a voice in your head."

"It's no different than talking to you, Lina."

"If you say so..."

Ayla couldn't help but giggle. "Well, talking to you has always been a little weird."

"Hey!" exclaimed Lina as she punched Ayla's arm.

They were both grinning now as Ayla clutched her arm as if in great pain. "What are you trying to do? Put me in the hospital again?"

"Okay, now I know you're going to be alright. Come on, everybody's waiting for you."

"What?"

"Silly girl. If you were paying attention, you'd know everybody is gathering to greet you. Tahsin noticed us first and went to alert the others."

Ayla found herself reluctant to cast her senses open. But she made herself do so and sensed her family all gathering. Their excitement and joy were an undercurrent shared by them all. It flooded into her, and it gave her a sense of comfort she'd forgotten.

She wasn't alone.

She picked up her pace without realizing it, and Lina kept pace as they walked between the stacks of equipment and containers. The exertion helped to offset the chill Ayla felt in the air. The hangar had cooled down quite a bit, and she was grateful for the extra clothing.

When they came to the lane that turned toward the Fishery, Tahsin, Rayan, and Ahmid rushed toward them. They too were wearing their traditional clothes, Ayla noted.

Tahsin reached them first, and he didn't slow down as he grabbed Ayla into a great hug. He picked her up and flung her around in a circle.

"Oh Ayla, never scare me like that again! I couldn't bear to lose you."

Ayla returned the hug as he began his second revolution. "Put me down, Tahsin, or I'll get sick."

Tahsin set her on her feet, his face one huge smile. She stepped back, only to have Rayan wrap his arms around her shoulders from behind. She patted his arms smiling.

"It's okay, Rayan. I'm right here."

Rayan hadn't said a word, but he didn't need to. Ayla felt his love and fear of losing her.

"Let her breathe, Rayan," came Ahmid's voice.

Rayan let go, and Ayla turned towards Ahmid. Smiling, he spread his arms wide. "Welcome home, little daughter. Come here and show these young ones how a proper hug is done."

Ayla stepped into his arms, and he enclosed her gently in his embrace. She rested her head against his chest and felt his love, fear, and relief for her. Then Tahsin, Lina, and Rayan enveloped her in a group hug, overwhelming her with the feeling of family and love. It was such a contrast to what she'd been through. The sound of ash-laden wind blew through her with the feeling of being so very alone.

Ahmid squeezed her hard. "It's okay, Ayla," he whispered into her ear. "We're here for you."

Ayla nodded, her head rubbing against his chest. She soaked up his strength of sunlight-warmed granite and relaxed as the wind faded to nothing. Everyone released her, and she could step back.

"Thank you, Ahmid."

Ahmid's lips curved in a gentle smile. "No need for that—there's nothing any one of us wouldn't do for you. If you want to thank someone, then thank Lina. She's the one who found you when you were in crisis."

Lina risked herself to find me? Her Gift isn't that strong, so how... Ayla turned to Lina with her unspoken question. The danger...

Lina cast her gaze to the ground, uncomfortable with the attention. "It is nothing to speak of. You're my sister."

Ayla rested her hands on Lina's shoulders, nudging her until she looked up.

"Thank you, little one," Ayla said softly.

"You know I don't like that nickname."

"Maybe, but you're my little one, little sister." Ayla gave her shoulders a squeeze. "You always will be."

Lina wiped her wrist at her eyes. "Stop it. You're embarrassing me."

To annoy Lina just a little more, Ayla grabbed Lina into a tight hug. Then she whispered into her ear, "Thank you, little one."

Lina hugged her back, then pushed her away. "Enough of that. It's Nura's turn."

Ayla turned to see Nura lunging at her. The taller woman's arms pulled Ayla close, and they exchanged hugs without a word. When Ayla stepped back, she saw that everyone else had arrived. One by one, they gave her hugs or shoulder pats, overwhelming Ayla with sincerity and love.

Lina stepped up, locking arms with her. "Come on, I'm hungry. Let's go eat."

"Good idea," Nura spoke up as she grabbed Ayla's free hand. "I have lunch all made up."

The two women marched Ayla forward as her Nilex family followed. It was like being swept along a river. The familiarity of being surrounded by her family had a surreal quality about it as a wind whispered in the back of her mind. Such a sharp contrast to what she'd seen, where she'd been...

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