heeseung sat at the lunch table, a bad feeling churning at the pit of his stomach at the thought of jay waking alone to the cabin. there was a little voice in the back of the older's head, telling him that he was being unreasonable. jay would be fine. but this was different, it felt different. 

heeseung didn't pay any attention to the conversation his friends were currently having, and instead scanned the crowd, searching for the table donghyun had occupied the other day. the lee boy bounced his leg as he turned back to his table, donghyun was nowhere to be seen.

heeseung's chest tightened with worry as he sat in thought. he tried convincing himself that he was overreacting, but nonetheless the boy reached for his phone, scrolling past the previous messages he had sent to jay.

love ♡

they ran out of corn
do you want something else?

no
it's fine

are you sure?

yeah

ok
i got you curry instead

today 7:54 p.m.

stay safe
watch where you're going it's really dark
are you on your way back yet?
did you trip?
your clumsy like that
where are you?
everything okay?
you've been gone for almost 16 minutes now
hello?
love?

the third year had been typing out another worry-filled message when jake spoke up.

"heeseung?" jake raised his voice, causing sunghoon and sunoo to pause mid-argument and turn to heeseung in concern. jake had called the older boy's name at least four times by now.

"huh," heeseung finally, although distractedly, responded, typing out the rest of his message before looking up, only to see the three other occupants of the table already staring at him.

"you good bro?" jake spoke slowly, his brows raised as his eyes darted to sunghoon and sunoo who looked equally confused.

"yeah, i'm fine," heeseung shortly replied as he quickly stood from his spot at the table. "i just gotta go. see you guys later." the tall boy didn't bother to elaborate before he raced towards the door.

heeseung jogged along the dirt path, constantly checking his phone to see if jay had responded to his texts. a thin layer of sweat covered the boy's forehead, his heart racing as the gravel made a faint crunch under the weight of his feet.

heeseung was halfway to the cabin when he stumbled over what he assumed to be a rather large rock, his breath catching in his throat as he almost fell face first. the third year glanced back in annoyance, wanting to see what he had almost broken his ankle over.

heeseung had to do a double take, his breath catching as his eye catching the familiar shine of what was definitely not a rock. the third year turned around, walking a little closer before crouching down to get a better look at the object. keys, he realized. heeseung's brows furrowed as he reached out to grab them, lightly shaking the rubble off. had someone dropped their key?

the boy held it out flat on his palm, turning his hand to see the number displayed on the small wooden plaque.

it was like time stopped for the lee boy as he continued to run his eyes over the number on display as if it would change if he willed it. but it was to no avail because when heeseung turned the plaque over, saying a silent prayer before switching it back over a giant two was still displayed on the wood.

heeseung swallowed his panic, bringing his hand to the pocket of his sweatpants, but he knew what he'd find. his own key jingled against the miscellaneous objects in his pocket as he felt around for the cool metal.

"fuck," the boy muttered when he pulled out his own key. he had been hoping it wasn't what he thought it was and that maybe he had somehow dropped his keys here and that jay was just sitting back at the cabin, having not seen heeseung's texts because he lost his phone.

"let go of me!" jay cried out, the initial shock of being dragged into the woods was gone, now replaced by the fear that jay only felt when donghyun was around.

donghyun abruptly stopped in his trek, causing jay to almost bump into him as he sharply turned, "shut up, just shut the fuck up!" the third year shouted, his wide, red rimmed eyes staring back at jay.

the brunette bit the inside of his cheek in responses, crinkling his nose at the prominent smell of alcohol as he took a step back, adverting his eyes from the third year's. how did he even sneak drinks on this trip?

donghyun emitted a quiet scoff, sniffing as he rubbed at his nose before not even hesitating to grab jay's hood, forcefully dragging the boy along. the younger let out a small yelp in shock, his hands going up to the ones tightly clutched around his hood as he tried to not fall.

they continued on like this for a good few minutes, jay stumbling every now and then, donghyun's tight grip serving as the only thing keeping him from falling onto the cold dirt.

jay, who was distracting himself from the situation at hand by focusing on his steps, didn't process the fact that donghyun had let go of his hood, nearly bumping into the older boy when he stopped.

jay's eyes shifted to the mess called donghyun's hair when the the third year turned around. it looked like the boy had run his hand through it multiple times, the untamed ends crazily sticking out.

"i loved you with all my heart, jay," donghyun suddenly spoke up, his voice cutting through the quiet jay had gotten used to, sounding almost hurt.

the older boy slowly approached, his brows furrowed, clenched fists resting at his sides, causing jay to step back in fear. The second year dug his nails into his palms taking a deep breath as he tried to fight the oncoming panic attack.

"so tell me why," donghyun latched his hand onto jay's forearm, his whole being hurt facade was short lived, causing the younger to uneasily shift in his place. "why did you leave me for that worthless lee boy." donghyun spat, a grimace spreading across his lips at the thought of heeseung.

jay's brows furrowed, hurt by how donghyun referred to heeseung, and before he could think about it any further, the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them, "he's not worthless," the younger mumbled.

donghyun's reaction was immediate, his grip tightening on the younger's arm, jaw clenching at the thought of jay actually having feelings for the lee boy, "why are you sticking up for him?"

"i'm not, i'm just...," jay faltered, cheeks growing warm under the pressure as he tried to come up with an answer that would appease donghyun's anger.

"just what, jay?" the older boy grew angrier every second that ticked by.

"i...," jay faltered, the overwhelming scent of soju making his head pound as he pushed against donghyun's chest, feeling claustrophobic as the boy began to back him up into a tree.

"stay still," the older clenched his jaw, his voice causing a tremor of fear to run through jay's body.

there was one thing that scared jay when it came to donghyun drinking. he was unpredictable. jay didn't know how to calm this donghyun down.

the second year nervously reeled back, his head brushing against the bark of a tree, watching attentively as donghyun brought a hand to his face, leaning in so that he was only a few inches away from jay.

jay felt as if his skin was crawling. he yelled at himself to pull away, to shove donghyun off of him and find heeseung, but for some reason he couldn't. no matter how much he begged his muscles to move, they didn't even budge an inch.  it frustrated him to no end. why couldn't he move?

donghyun's finger's brushed across jay's cheek, and unlike with heeseung, the younger couldn't help but want to pull away from his dirty touch. 

"do you like him?" donghyun asked quietly, his voice as disturbing to jay as the branch that brushed against his exposed angle, most likely scratching it up.

the younger stayed silent, hoping that if he just shut him out he could pretend that he wasn't here, with donghyun. jay yearned to be in the warm cabin, cuddled against heeseung's side as the older continued to read the book he had brought on this field trip.

taking his silence as confirmation, donghyun's grip tightened, the hand that had just been lightly hovering over jay's cheek was now firmly wrapped around his jaw as he let out a quiet scoff, "so you do like him."

after a few seconds donghyun roughly released jay from his grip, forcefully  shoving the younger into the tree behind him.

jay took in a shaky breath, biting down on the inside of his cheek as the particularly sharp branch continued to prod at him.

"i gave you everything," donghyun's voice came as a mere whisper, and that scared jay more.

the third year turned to jay, his sudden soft outlook that had only been there for a second, changed with a flip of a switch, "so tell me why, why are you choosing that pathetic boy?" donghyun yelled at jay, his voice raspy as he clenched his fists.

donghyun pushed jay into the tree again, the younger letting out a quiet groan when his head banged against the bark.

that was when the panic set in. jay struggled to calm himself as he tried to figure a way out. there was no way he could talk to donghyun in this state.

before jay even had the thought to run while donghyun didn't have a hand tightly holding onto him, his head whipped to the side, a smack echoing across the forest. the leaves rustled beneath jay's feet as he stumbled. the second year struggled to catch his breath, his eyes wide as he brought a hand to his stinging cheek.

before the younger could even recover, donghyun harshly yanked him forward, delivering another blow, this time to the abdomen. jay fell to his knees, the rocks layering the ground piercing into the skin of his hands.

donghyun took a step towards jay, situating his hand in the younger' hair, roughly tilting the boy's head back. "help me understand, jay. why him and not me?" donghyun yelled out the last part not hesitating before punching jay, causing the younger's head to turn to the side on impact. jay brought a hand to his nostril, his finger coming in contact with a warm, stick liquid. blood.

jay wiped his hand on his pants, spitting out the blood that had coated his tongue, it was not one he missed. the second year couldn't dwell on it any further before donghyun reached out, tightly holding the younger's jaw between his thumb and index finger, "you know i pity you, jay. that lee boy doesn't even like you back."

jay's breath hitched. what was he talking about? of course heeseung liked him. he had told jay that he did at the carnival. the carnival. the carnival which was weeks ago. had he kept heeseung waiting for too long?

"but i still care for you," donghyun said, internally smirking at the confusion rose in jay's eyes. donghyun lightly combed back some of jay's hair, his touch greatly contrasting what is was just a few second ago, watching as the blood dripped from the younger's face, "come back to me, jay."

jay parted his lips, trying to figure out what he was gonna say. though before he could get a word out, donghyun was thrown to the ground.

"stay the fuck away from him!"