In The Wakes
From the Pokeball emerges Basil, an already named Ekans with a remarkably high friendship stat. The trainer was right about the Pokemon being well loved.
"You." he hisses. It's not malicious in any way, but the way he speaks still sends shivers down my spine. "You're the new trainer."
"My name is Ashley." I tell him. "I know I might look a little underwhelming, but I... uh... I promise I'll do my best. Welcome to the team?"
His pupils narrow slightly as he slithers forwards on the sand. "She let me go, then. For real."
I bite my lip and brush the sand off my shorts, standing back up. "I'm sorry."
"Come closer." he says. "Please."
I do as I'm told, as all my other Pokemon tense up. Rose has psychic energy flickering about her crown and bright leaves dance in the air.
He takes my Pokeball from me and touches his head to it, returning in a blink of light. I pick up the Pokeball and almost make the movement to release him again, just stopping short. "Well." I tell the team. "Can we try this again another day?"
Rose frowns. "Seriously?"
Fang mutters, "Ouch. That had to hurt." When everyone else glares at him, he adds, "I guess he was just throwing... a hissy fit?"
"You know, you could totally go back to your Pokeball as well." I tell him, which he shrugs off. "In fact, I think everyone needs to get back to the Pokeball now so I can book it out of here. Pisces, how fast can you get me across the ocean?"
I turn to the massive water snake, floating just in the water where it's deep enough for her to rest comfortably. "How high do you want the risk of falling off to be?" she asks.
"Low?" I say. The ocean is staring at me and memories of drowning still cloud my thoughts. "I mean, if you think I'm going to fall in, can we... I have the TM for Fly, so if Rose wants..."
"You will be safe." Pisces assures me.
"Thanks." I tell her. Slowly but surely, I climb onto her back, and I return everyone else but Rose and zip the bag tightly. The dark blue of the ocean is painful to look at, so I close my eyes and cling tight to Pisces's fin.
Can't waste time. Can't waste time. Can't waste time.
I feel the world rock beneath my feet and I curl up a bit more as she moves away, dashing through the waves. I think of riding a Zebstrika, being rocked back and forth by a swing, anything besides physically moving over the waves...
"You are scared." Pisces tells me. I don't know how long it's been but it certainly feels like forever.
"Thanks." I tell her, opening my eyes. I stare intently at the patterns on her back. "Next time, when you're making vague statements, can you try to give me one that isn't obvious?"
"It emanates from you like smoke. I understand that after almost drowning, the ocean must seem terrifying to you. After all, you are a predator, and not prey."
"You're not prey either."
"I was." she tells me. "Life for both the hunted and the hunter is almost always fear. You fear that you may not feed yourself or your kin. You fear that your kin may be food. In the end, both are trying to survive. As someone who has been both... I have never seen a predator be so afraid of her kin before when she should be worried about her own health."
I stare up at Rose, who is still going even after we have stopped. Her luminous wings flutter at a breakneck speed, despite how large they are. "You know, you can just skip to the moral. I've had enough people preach at me to know where this is going."
I can feel Pisces tense beneath me, but she doesn't throw me off into the ocean, which is sloshing her sides still. "We are not the enemy, Ashley."
I snap, "If this is about Basil, I'm not afraid of him. I feel for him because I know what it's like to lose family as well. I know that his trainer meant well but right now he doesn't know why he's unwanted and he's trying to figure things out. That trainer probably would have let him loose into the wild otherwise. Do I doubt that they cared for each other? No. Do I believe that most people are willing to forsake Pokemon quickly because they're animals that almost all humans can't understand? Absolutely."
"We would not let you let go of us." Pisces dips down towards the water. We're at the opposing shore. "We care much for you." I let go of her massive fins and wade in the depths until I reach solid ground. The ocean laps at my feet and my legs are covered in frigid water and salt. "Now, if you please, I'm going to take a quick dip."
As she turns to go, I call, "Wait!"
"Yes?"
"Not without a buddy."
The massive water dragon sulks. I release the whole team and Fang dashes forwards, wading into the ocean and immediately being toppled by the waves. He finally manages to skip over one and then dog paddles out to the sea.
"I'm a Vaporeon!" he calls.
"No you aren't!" I say. I turn to Ten. "Watch them."
Ten tilts his head but I think he's got the gist of it. Still thinking about the sea and Suicune's warning, I dial up Morty.
"Hello?"
Oh thank Arceus.
"Hey. Uh. So, I'm in Olivine for tonight. I was just wondering..." I feel myself fiddling with the Pokegear in my hands. Why is this so difficult?
"I'm sure I could get over there by tonight." he assures me. "Once, I ran all the way from Ecruteak to Blackthorn. Now that was a really fun run." he laughs nervously. I try to laugh along but forcing it is just making the entire thing a thousand times more awkward. We both stop short and sit in silence for five seconds too many. He continues, "I'll tell Miki. She's been asking about you."
"She has?" I ask. I'm not thrilled about a dinner for three, but I'm just thirteen. I'm pretty sure a romantic dinner was out of the question anyways.
Almost out of the question. We went out together last time. Did I get a really flirtatious Morty or am I just coming on the wrong way? Is he threatened by me? Did he just feel sorry for me last time?
"Yeah, of course!" his voice is so loud that I drop the phone, which clatters to the floor. I hadn't realized that I had been clicking the volume button with my pointer finger compulsively. "Hello?" he calls from the floor.
I pick up my phone. "Yes?"
"You seem really startled. It's just Miki, I promise she doesn't bite." he laughs nervously again. "She's convinced that she needs to look out for you, though. She said something about a brother?" He pauses, his tone more grim. "Miki doesn't have a brother, Ashley."
Alarmed by what might have been a threat, I say, "Well! I actually have no idea what she's talking about, but you can both interrogate me tonight at the Shiny Seaking. I know that sounds like a bar name but I swear to Arceus it's really good. 6 tonight?"
"...sure." he says slowly.
"Alright! It's a date." I hang up and fall back onto the hotel bed, laughing like a madwoman.
Not the same Morty. He wouldn't know. He hasn't held you under a sky the color of nothing, he hasn't told you every detail of how he failed...
Yet, for some reason, MIki remembers. Maybe, somewhere at the back of his mind, he does know. Even if it's impossible, well, that's just a day in the life for Ashley Hart, right?
I am amazing at ignoring and destroying what are supposed to be universal constants. Surely if everything else is broken, just this one thing can be right. There has to be some kind of cosmic justice to balance it out.
***
I don't know if cosmic justice is real but that night is one of the prettiest I've ever seen. A thousand stars glow over artificial lighting in an adornment of colors, as if every pinprick of brightness is mimicking their elder brothers who watch so regally above. I'm sitting right outside the Shiny Seaking, Rose and Reginae by my side, and Morty arrives from the shadows with his Gengar. He's wearing a tie. Miki appears behind him in a short dress.
"Did you run all the way here in that?" I ask.
"I didn't say it was fancy," I say defensively, squeezing my other arm as if it will make things better (ha!).
Morty cracks a smile. "You look pretty nice in your current attire, if it makes you feel better. I had no idea what the mood was, but you said date, and..."
"Forget it." I say. Right, so now he's bringing another girl and he thought this was an actual date. What exactly is he trying to get across here? "So, should our Pokemon just go run around or something? I don't think they're allowed in the restaurant but Rose and Reginae don't go in their Pokeballs."
"I guess so. Soul will keep them safe." His Gengar nods and we escort ourselves inside. Reginae gives me a slightly hurt glance but follows suit anyways, slowly walking away from the restaurant.
Inside, the air is refreshingly temperate and there's some classical music playing in the background. The rooms are dimly lit and each table is affixed with a candle or two, all of them fragrant. Our waiter escorts us to a table, fills our cups with water, and sets down the legendary complimentary bread.
"Well." I say, shifting my water uncomfortably.
"How are you tonight?" Morty asks.
"Fine, you?"
"All dressed up and nowhere to go. I feel like a Prinplup." he says. "Well, at least we have complimentary bread."
I smile, picking up a piece of bread.
Miki elbows him gently. "Was he this scatterbrained in the last timeline, too?"
It hits a chord. I put the bread back in the basket slowly. The laughter stops altogether and we sit at the table in silence. "Funny, I actually don't know. You know why? Last time, I was a thirteen year old and I looked up to him because he knew everything and I had never had anyone else who related to me in the same way. He told me things. I thought of him when I won my gym battles. Hell, I still think of both of you when I beat my gym battles, but it's not for the same reason." I stare them both in the eyes. "I am a tool and a pawn in this hellish game that neither I nor my Pokemon have any way to escape from. I don't have time to play games or think about romance and the only time I feel alright is when my Pokemon and I are making small talk because they are the only family I have left and when we're together it reminds me of all the other Pokemon who cared about me before I managed to get them all killed off." Miki opens her mouth to say something but I continue. "Oh yeah. In case you were wondering, I do know about your brother. He was a Vaporeon named Dill who I found in Goldenrod because I guess you guys just let your non-transforming kin run all over the place. He loved pickles. He told terrible jokes all of the time. He loved this stupid television show he wouldn't shut up about, he wanted to live by the seaside when he was older, he fell in love with a guy, and he's out there somewhere. They all are and I know you'd love to go on about the past but in case I do this shit myself, the past might as well have been dead. Are we clear?"
Miki is crying. Morty holds her closer. "Ashley."
"Do you want me to go on?! I could go on for hours." I tell him. My hands are trembling on the table.
"My mother's last child died in her womb." Miki says through gritted teeth, her fangs shining in the candlelight. "She was murdered before she could have him."
Morty holds her closer. I feel the guilt racing through me but I can't help it. I get up from the table. "I'll send you the information you need over text."
"What, you're going to run?!" he asks.
I stare him in the eyes and my own irises burn gold. I can feel it sinking into me. Reginae raises his head far away and Rose notices. Reginae feels my pain as I run blindly from the restaurant. All I want to do is get away from here. "Come on." I say through his mouth.
The Gengar stops us. "I'm not angry at you. I promise."
Reginae's fear melds with mine. We are one and we are furious, feeling a tidal wave of pain over actions the other didn't commit.
How was your night?
Looks like we both blew some romantic engagements. Great. Same old, same old.
What a fucking wreck we make.
"This was a bad idea." We tell him. "I promise I won't come back. I can fix this on my own."
"We can discuss that later. Just please let me know you're at least sorry. Please."
"I'm sorry." we say, not quite sure what we're apologizing for.
The Gengar looks sadly at me. Even the telltale frown that basically stands for the species as a whole is gone now. It's just Morty, still watching me. "We could help you. I know the legendaries are asses. I know the world makes no sense. You need to know you have allies, Ashley."
You're dead you're dead you're dead.
Somewhere out there, a predator is starving herself.
"You can't."
You can't.
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