Following a good day of preparation for the month ahead and catch up from the days behind us (including a full scale retelling of the hell we went through), the team and I decide to move on. It's early in the morning when Reginae nudges me awake and I fall back towards him and off the bed. Now that he's so much larger, his gestures have become less affectionate and more mildly intimidating, but he still jumps out of the way when I fall.
"Ashley! I-" Reginae yelps in surprise, but when he sees my content smile on the floor, it sours into a frown. "Oh, come on! Look, I know you're tired, but we need to get up. We're on a tight schedule here!"
"Twenty-seven days, guys. Twenty-seven days." Fang yawns, stretching out and ruffling up his fur. He crawls off the sofa and comes to rest closer to the hearth.
"I don't know." I say, curling myself up in the blankets that used to be on the bed. "Maybe we can ditch the whole world saving thing and stay here. Seems like a nice place to die."
"Ashley!" Reginae whines.
"Joking." I get up slowly, rubbing my eyes, and stagger towards my bag. From the depths of the infinite bag, I pull out a nice set of new clothes, complete with faded jeans and a gray jacket and begin dressing.
"It's not even twenty-seven. It's really more like twenty-four, and even then, we should probably have a few days buffer in case of emergency." Rose pipes up.
"Thanks, Rose. We really value your input, you know? You're just a ray of sunshine." I pull the shirt over my head and look around at the team. Everyone looks thoroughly unimpressed and incredibly tired. "Now, who's ready to grind our way through Ice Cave?"
There's not a peep out of the room, so I take it as an enthusiastic yes and escort everyone out. Staring back at the room, I feel a bit moist around the eyes. The hearth is still full of charcoal from our indoor fire last night. The blankets are a mess. The air smells more like us than lavender and there are imprints on the furniture from where ghosts sat beside us.
I think of two teams in memory, existing side by side. If I come back here again, the chances of all of us still numbered among the living is slim to none.
Still... I want to live somewhere rural when I'm settled down, I decide. Somewhere like this.
It's simple, but it feels right.
The door slams shut and we're off.
The team springs ahead in not-quite pairs, with the newly-emerged Pisces and Fang up ahead and Reginae, Rose, and Ten sticking around behind, discussing battle plans for the Clair battle. I don't want to think about it but I make a mental note to ask them what their plans are later.
"Still no trainers here." muses Ten, taking a swift turn over my shoulder. "Hope they're alright."
"...Right. Makes my job easier." I say, staring down at my Pokegear.
You never answered me. You okay? I ask.
I finally got out of the closet. Morty replies.
Congratulations, I tell him. I consider adding an appropriately sarcastic smiley face but decide against it for his own sake.
How is the team? Casualties???
One. Basil's out. I admit.
Who?
The Arbok.
There's a pause before his answer. Oh.
The air grows cold around me and Reginae 'taps' me gently with his head, and I almost buckle over. "Sorry!" he says. "We uh... we're here though."
I close the Pokegear and walk inside, only to be surrounded by a strange and glistening light. The cave reflects almost every bit of light just by virtue of having ice for walls, so it's not dark, but the reflections are uncanny in their own way.
"Look at this!" Fang peers at the ice. His reflection looks significantly larger than he is. He chuckles. "Man, I look like a Snorlax." He pulls a face. "There we go. Definitely Snorlax."
"This isn't the time for that!" snaps Rose, in a mood per the norm. "Let's hurry along, alright?"
She moves towards the front and I see Pisces grill a Delibird before I have the chance to throw a Pokeball. Then again, it's not like I particularly wanted a Delibird. It's not like anyone in their right mind would want one.
"Right, we're down a catch." I sigh. My breath forms a mist in midair.
"Cheer up." Ten says. "We've got a long cave ahead of us. Try to think positive."
"I'm positive I don't want to be here." Reginae glances about the cave, spooked. "Ice types. It had to be ice types."
"You can take ice types." I insist.
Reginae opens his mouth and closes it. He exhales through his nostrils for almost a solid minute and then takes a long, painful breath in.
We begin walking again.
Fang continues to skip ahead, but this time he's joined by Rose and Ten, both of whom are circling the area. Luckily, it seems the Ice Cave is pretty straight forwards, save for some boulders that Reginae has to push around. It almost compensates for his utter refusal to fight.
"You okay, bud?" I ask, running a hand down his neck. His petals ruffle slightly.
"I still feel sick." Reginae admits meekly. "I wanted to be stronger for you but I totally lost control of myself. Some voice in my brain just kept egging me on... and I'm weaker every time some foreign force tries to drill its way into my mind."
"It's okay," I reassure him.
"No! No it isn't! I thought I'd get stronger by going on a journey, but all I've done is get my guard shattered over and over and over again. I tried to get the dreams to stop. Failure. Mysterious signal? I'm gone. Terrible candy? Forget thirty, I'm gone at three." He huffs. "You know what the worst time I've had so far has to be?"
"Arceus, stop doing this to yourself..."
"You."
My heart stops. "W-what?"
"When we flash, it feels good. I feel powerful... but at the same time, we've only ever really connected when we're in pain, whether it's emotional or physical. We lapse into each other because we just want to suffer together instead of alone, but I only ever feel worse. Sometimes I stay up late at night wondering how much of this guilt I've acquired from you."
"I had no idea you felt that way."
"I didn't either- not until recently, anyways. Rose was talking to me just a few days before the signal started and she mentioned it. I've been trying to get stronger ever since. I want to make this work. I want things to turn out okay. I want to heal you."
"This isn't your fault." I tell him, clutching my sleeve. "It's mine. I'm glad you bought it to my attention, though. I should respect your boundaries way more than I have and... I'm going to make things better. I'm going to stop putting this off on you guys. I swear."
I think of every time I've mentioned the other team around them, every time I've yelled, screamed.... I can't think of a single positive thing I've done by bringing any of them on board with this. Even Ten is just waiting it out so he can meet up with old friends.
Reginae's eyes are sad as he leaves. "We love you, Ashley. Really. Thanks."
I watch him leave, and on the reflections on the ice, I see another figure standing behind me. It's a ten year old boy, one far shorter than me, wearing a red cap.
"We just screw over everyone around us, don't we?"
The voice is so much older than it should be. I turn but Red isn't there. I feel my ears and nose numbing from the cold. Everything is hot and painful.
Rose appears on my other side, at first a reflection off the ice, then a tangible being next to me. "Um. Hey. I kind of owe you an apology."
"No need. I should be apologizing to you."
"You two finally talked, huh?"
I pass the end of that mirror and move onto the next pane of ice. There's light coming in from above now, reflecting off the icicles. Something is shining a direct light onto them. I move downwards and see Fang standing with his tongue stuck to one of them, and he's pulling hard but is clearly stuck. Above him, Pisces is attempting to cut him free with her attacks, hence the light.
I smile but Rose glares at them. "Seriously?" She moves her hand and the icicle cracks. The small portion that Fang's tongue is still attached to comes free and Fang smiles with his tongue hanging out, a nice block of ice dangling from it.
"Sanks." he says, tail waving.
Rose shoots him another look and then pulls back into maternal/counselor mode. "Talking is good. I think you two are going to be fine. Anyways. I just wanted to say I might have said some dumb things during the lake scene but I... I..."
"You want to say you didn't mean them, but you did." I tell her. "I don't care."
She sighs. "Forget it. Next question... I've been meaning to ask you ever since the incident." She draws her shoulders up and then asks, "What was Lilly like?"
"I've never told you, have I?" I ask, incredulous. I didn't think I'd been so closed off that so much as giving a brief overview of my old Pokemon's personalities would be a big ordeal, but from the way Rose is staring at me, it looks like I'd been just that bad if not more so.
"Well, you thought about your team a lot more back when I was a Togepi, but I wasn't really prying then."
"You what."
"Oops?" She shrugs, flashing me a winning smile.
Thanks, Rose.
"At least you're honest." I try to smile, but I can't quite make it genuine. "That's more than I can say for most people. As for Lilly, she was one of the kindest, most cheerful Pokemon on our team. She always had something to say but she was also an incredible listener. She was one of those too pure for this world types but she was also quite mischievous when she wanted to be. She was curious too, but with no sense of direction. Wandered from the Lake of Rage to Olivine."
"Did you love her, Ashley?"
"Like a daughter."
This seems to satisfy Rose, who stays in silence by my side until we're almost at the end of the cave.
"Looks like we're almost here." I say. "What do you know?" My voice shudders. I want to be a million miles from Blackthorn. Just the thought of entering the gym makes me sick. Still, I look for the kimono girl from last time and find that she's not there. In fact, if anything, the Kimono Girls are probably preparing to help fight Lugia- or take him down themselves. They might even be more efficient than I would, but I can't let them do it.
The others become silhouettes in the sunlight. I watch them go and embrace the warmth on my own shoulders and arms. Rose flits alongside me and we stand together in the town where I lost everything.
"Nice to have you back." I tell her.
She nods. "You bet it is. By the way... I'm incredibly angry at you for making Reginae eat all of those candies."
"I figured."
"Don't mess with the mom friend." She punches me in the elbow.
"Got it."
(A/N: You know how I missed a chapter yesterday? Well today I'm turning over a new leaf. Two new leaves. One of which is Reginae on steroids and the other of which is character development the chapter.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S ONLY BEEN FORTY CHAPTERS? THINK ABOUT THAT. FORTY OF THESE.
Also morty is now free of the closet.)
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