At the party

I hopped out of Dylans car and we all started to make our way inside. There were people and red solo cups everywhere already.

I looked around taking everything in. It was chaos.

Jules grabbed my wrist turning me to face her. "I look okay right?" She flipped her long black hair around her shoulder and messed with her fake lashes that hovered over her dark brown eyes.

"Of course! Your heels make you taller than Dylan." I laughed.

"I know." She smirked slightly. "That's why I wore them."

As we walked through the front door, the smell of sweat and booze filled my nostrils.

Ew.

Jules sent me a quick smile. "Let's go get drinks!" She dragged Alice and I to the drinks, Dylan following behind. She wasn't wasting any time.

Austin was in the kitchen and smiled at us. He had light brown hair that he styled upwards and a nice smile that showed off his straight white teeth.

"Hey guys!" He hugged all of us. His breath smelled slightly of beer. Disgusting. "I'm glad you guys came. Autumn welcome!" He hugged me again. "First party ever. I'm honored it's mine."

"Yeah." I smiled slightly and looked at all the drinks. There was bottles of beer and shots of vodka and jello lining the counters.

"Want somethin?" He turned around motioning toward the counter. "We have plenty of stuff."

No shit.

How does an underage teen even get all of this?

Alice grabbed each of us a beer and poured it into the red solo cup. "Here." She handed a cup to me. "This one's a good one."

I sipped it. It wasn't terrible, but it definantly wasn't great. It'll do for now.

Jules and Dylan were turned around, talking to Austin about the party.

I started to glance around the house until my eyes locked on the back door. There were flashing lights everywhere. "Is the party outside too?" I looked at Alice.

Please say yes. Please no cops.

The last thing I needed in my life was being busted at a party full of this much alcohol.

She nodded. "He has a sweet pool that he floats ice and drinks on. You have to see!" She grabbed my hand excitedly and we made our way outside. The pool really was a floating alcohol cooler mixed with the few bodies that decided to swim in it.

I laughed as we made our way up to it. There was as much alcohol as what was on the counter floating in this pool.

"It's cool isn't it?" I heard a deep voice behind me causing me to jump. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He chuckled slightly coming up next to me. I looked up at him.

Grayson.

"It's okay." I said looking back toward the pool. "It's cool... unique. It's not everyday a pool is full of that."

Good job Autumn. Making conversations even if it's lame.

He nodded, his smile was soft but grew a little wider as he spoke. "So your first party ever? What do you think so far?"

I looked up at him. His hazel eyes were looking me up and down as he pushed his hair up and then slid his pink snapback back onto his head. He had on a tight black t-shirt and black ripped jeans. "It's okay. It's a lot of people." I shrugged.

He looked good.

I looked around him and saw Ethan not too far behind him watching us. He had a pissed off look on his face. Our eyes locked for only a second before he looked back toward the house.

"Yeah there is. This is a lot more people than usual though." He took a drink out of his red solo cup. "What are you drinking?" He gestured to mine.

"Oh..." I looked at the cup. I had no idea what beer it was. "Alice got it for me, she said it tasted good. I have no idea what it is." I shrugged. "It's...mediocore."

He laughed and took the cup from me taking a sip. "Lite beer. It's what I have too." He smiled handing me the cup back.

I looked down at my cup and then back to him. I noticed Ethan out of the corner of my eye coming toward us. "Hey." He said as he nudged Grayson to move him over. 

I smiled softly at him as I looked at his outfit.

He looked good. He had on an orange t-shirt with black ripped jeans as well. Orange was definantly a good color for him.

I must have been staring a little too long because he gave me a slight smirk and winked.

I blushed and tucked a piece of hair out of my face as I took another sip of my drink.

I started to get butterflies just from Ethans presence.

"You look really nice." Ethan smiled at me as he glanced up and down my body. "Reds a nice color on you."

I blushed deeper and looked down. When I looked back up Grayson was giving Ethan a hard glare. "I need more drink." He mumbled and walked away, slightly bumping against Ethans shoulder.

"Is he all good?" I asked as I watched him push through the crowd and into the house.

"He will be." Ethan shrugged. "He get's like that. Want to go sit?" He referred to the empty porch chairs in the yard.

I nodded and we started to push through people to get over there. I could feel the butterflies growing in my stomach.

I wouldn't be able to hold a conversation with him. He's going to think I'm a complete freak as we talk, he'll find something wrong with me. Most people do.

I'm broken. What if he sees that too?

I didn't want to worry about that now. We're at a party. We're supposed to be having a good time, let loose.

I need to relax.

We sat down and I twirled the beer around in my cup. Ethans big hand wrapped around it taking it from me and setting it on the ground. 

"I can tell you aren't enjoying that beer."

I nodded slightly. He wasn't wrong, it tasted like shit. "Thanks."

"I've wondered this." He looked at me and I felt my face heat up just by his look. His eyes were soft. "How'd your parents get the name Autumn? It's so pretty."

Ethans POV:

"I've wondered this." I looked at her. I scanned her face for a sign.

It might be too personal to ask her names meaning. I wonder though. It's such a unique name.

"How'd your parents get the name Autumn? It's so pretty."

I watched her face drain slowly. Her eyes glossed over quickly.

I saw it.

Her broken hurt eyes couldn't meet with mine as she tried to form a reply.

I glanced down at my thighs, then to hers, then back up to her face.

She was so beautiful. The amount of hurt in her eyes didn't take away from her beauty.

She still lit every room she walked in. She was strong, it radiated. Even if she didn't see it, I saw it.

I'm drawn to her because she's broken too.

I see a piece of myself in her.

Autumns POV:

I wanted to blush, but I felt all color drain from my face as I swallowed hard. I used to love sharing this answer, now it just pained me.

I watched him glance down at his thighs, then my lap, back up to my face.

I slowly spoke, keeping my composure. "Uh.. my parents they met in Autumn. It was their favorite time of year because that's when they found eachother." I looked down fumbling with my fingers. "They named me that as a symbol of love I guess." I shrugged and blinked a few tears out of my eyes.

They didn't love eachother anymore. My name now was just a constant reminder of what used to be and what now isn't.

"Oh.." he looked at me. "Hey it's okay." He lifted my chin up slightly with his finger. He scanned my eyes.

I know he saw the hurt.

"I'm sorry about your parents. I've heard, I shouldn't have asked something so personal so quickly. Don't let that make your name something sad. I still find it pretty. It's a beautiful name." He smiled and wiped the tear that had slid out of my eye. "Beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

I blushed slightly and wiped under my eyes to make sure no more would come out. "Thanks." I sniffed. "Sorry."

"Don't be." He smiled softly at me. "It's okay to be broken."

His words hit my heart. He knew. He saw it in me.

He saw my broken pieces.

He saw them so fast. The word I always used to describe myself was broken and he hit the nail right on the head.

I glanced back at him. His eyes were softly gazed on me still. I looked into them as he looked into mine.

I saw it.

He was broken too.

My heart started to throb as I started to get up. I couldn't sit with him any longer. I didn't want to leave him, but I couldn't stay. Not after what he saw in me.

Not after what I saw in him.

I'm broken. He doesn't need someone broken like me.

"Where are you going?" He got up.

"It's okay. Keep enjoying the party." I reached down grabbing my cup. "I just need more to drink. I have to find Alice too. She'll worry if I'm gone too long." I lied about Alice.

As I started walking into the house I heard him mumble under his breath, but I couldn't make out the words. I was walking in too fast.

I walked into the kitchen and glanced back out the back door. Ethan sat back down in the lawn chair.  His chin resting on his left hand as if he was thinking, or even in a daydream.

I looked at the counter and my eyes landed on the shots. I started to take one after the other. Alternating between the burning clear liquid and the fruity jello.

"Woah woah woah!" I heard Jules behind me. She reached around taking the shot I was about to take out of my hand. "Easy there tiger. How many have you done?" She counted the empty shot glasses.

"Three." I said dragging out the 'e' in a slur.

"Sorry Autumn, but it was a little more than that." She put her arm under me. "Let's get you out of here."

"No I want to stay! Let's dance!" I dragged Jules over to all the sweaty dancing bodies.

As I started to dance I looked around. So many people were dancing, grinding, laughing. They looked so care free. I wanted that.

My eyes locked with Ethan who was standing in the kitchen, his eyes pinned on me full of a sort of sadness.