Dear diary, 

Here i thought that I was starting to make friends around here. I guess not. 

You see, the thing is, there's this group of boys. They're nice and cool to hang out with. They're honestly such lovely people. For a long time in a while, I felt like I could belong with them, that I could belong somewhere at last even though we haven't known each other for long.

But I guess time and time again has proven that it's no use trusting people when all they want is to stab you in the back and know you out of personal interest. 

It sucks to be alive. When will this all end? 

———-

"Pass the drinks, bro."

"You're too young to be drinking," Paul slapped Embry's head as he took the drinks away from the younger man's grasp, grinning, "soda's for the kiddies."

"Fuck off, Paul."

It was finally Saturday evening and practically the entire La Push community had gathered to listen to Billy's tales. Natalia herself was excited about it, having heard of it all week long, and she'd even confessed it to Red last night when they met under the stars.

"I wonder what kind of stories he'll tell," she had wondered aloud, Red's head currently in her lap as her fingers scratched him. It closed its eyes in appreciation, growling softly as it did so, "do you think they'll be scary?"

"Or..." she trailed off and glanced down at the said giant wolf that seemed to have manifested right out of a weird fairy tale, "do you think they know about you?" 

Red had frozen at her words. It pushed itself up in a sitting position before it regarded her with a look so serious Natalia felt a prickle of fear at the back of her spine. It cocked its head in a way that seemed to ask 'are you afraid of me?'

Natalia shook her head no, "there's nothing to be afraid of." 

It pushed its snout into her palm, eyes closing in contentment as she scratched behind its ears, "plus, you can't be so bad right? You're not the monster that people make you out to be." 

Red let out what sounded like a sigh as she continued, "I wonder...are there any more of you?" 

Even if she wanted to know, she wouldn't have any clue considering that Red didn't have the power of language. There was some kind of desire in her thought, a thirst to know more about where Red came from and whether he was the only one of his kind. It wasn't everyday that she'd encounter a giant wolf, after all.

The Bonfire was already lit and crackling with flames when she and her mother reached the beach parking lot, blankets and heavy duty jackets bundled up in their arms as they joined the circle of people, cheeks reddened with the heat of the fire. Warm and excited chatter filled the air as Natalia threaded her way through the throng of bodies until she came face to face with familiar faces, her own lips exploding into a grin. 

"You're late," Quil commented as he watched Embry and Paul shuffle to make her some space. Jacob was still nowhere to be found, not that she was looking for him. Not at all. 

"That's my mom's fault," Natalia settled herself next to Embry. He was warm, practically vibrating with heat as he passed her a marshmallow on a stick, "where's Jacob?" 

"Bringing the pale beauty over," Paul's tone was far from friendly, causing her eyebrow to shoot up,  "pale beauty?" 

"Bella," Embry said through a mouthful of marshmallow, "apparently she just got back from whatever exciting trip she's been on with her boyfriend." 

"He's the only one who wants her there," Paul snarled bitterly, "nobody cares for that stupid bitch—"

Sam's hand came to slap him across the back of the head, "ouch! What?!" Paul's nostrils flared, "I'm only being honest and saying what everyone doesn't wanna say." 

"Enough," was Sam's order and that was enough for all the boys to shut up. On cue, Natalia spotted two figures slowly making their way from the parking lot. She recognized Jacob's tall and built stature and as her eyes lingered over the girl accompanying him, she couldn't help but notice her unfamiliar sense of beauty, as though she was a fragile piece of glass that would break at any moment. The contrast between her and Jacob was baffling, and something uneasy stirred in the lower pits of Natalia's stomach. 

She quickly averted her eyes, greeting them  under her breath and occupying herself with grilling marshmallows instead as they settled next to her. 

"Hi, I'm Bella," the girl — Bella — smiled at her briefly, though it didn't reach her eyes. There was something ghostly about her, something eerie. It made Natalia's skin crawl. 

She swallowed a sudden lump in her throat, "hi, Natalia." 

"Jacob told me about you," the pale girl nodded. 

"Ah," what in the world did he have to say? That she was some kind of outcast trying to fit in? "He's told me about you too."

"Really? What did he say?" 

Natalia was glad when Billy shushed everyone so that she didn't have to stand in this awkwardness any longer. Turning her face to the Bonfire, she watched as the old man took a sip of beer, dark eyes trailing over the crowd, before he spoke: 

"A long long time ago, our ancestors had special abilities. Gifted, is what they called it," Embry nudged at Natalia's shoulder, his teeth all white against the darkness clouding them in, "they were warmer than normal human beings, stronger than most. Our ancestors were gifted by wolf spirits." 

Wolves?

Natalia blinked, her mind instantly zeroing in on Red. 

"It is said that these wolf spirits only come to life within us when danger lurks nearby. Our biggest enemies were the Cold ones," Billy's eyes paused onto hers, then shifted. But that moment was enough to send shivers down Natalia's spine, "They devoured human flesh and craved for blood. It was the reason why our ancestors were able to transform and use the wolves' powers to go against these creatures." 

Billy droned on with the story about La Push's leader and his wife who sacrificed herself for him. But there was nothing in Natalia's mind but Red, her brain going into a frenzy as she placed two and two together. What did this mean for her? Was Red actually human?

And the most important of all--

Her eyes flitted to find Jacob's only to find him already staring back at her.

Shit.

Did he know anything about this?

Suddenly, she didn't feel too at ease anymore. It felt hot. Stuffy. As though she couldn't breathe.

"--Talia?"

"Huh?" Embry's voice called her back to attention. She blinked at him, noticed the way his eyebrows pulled together into a frown.

"You want another marshmallow?" He gestured towards her empty stick.

"N--No," she avoided his gaze, glad that her hair fell in a curtain across her face, "actually, I don't feel too good."

"You okay? Maybe some water--"

But Natalia was already up and going before he could say anything else, directing herself towards the parking lot and not stopping until her palms managed to press themselves against her mother's car door.

Her heart was beating at a thousand miles per hour. She felt sick. All the marshmallows she'd eaten were crawling up the back of her throat.

Maybe Red was in danger.

Maybe Red needed her right now.

Natalia swivelled so quickly she lost her footing, almost crashing into a hard chest in the process.

"Natalia?"

Jacob's deep tenor was soft, strong arms steadying her shoulders as she looked up into the hard planes of his face. He was gorgeous, enthralling, and too nosy for his own good.

"What?" She snapped a little too harshly, "what is it?"

He seemed to search for something in her eyes and, not finding it there, responded with, "you look upset."

"Everything's fine, thanks," she quickly shrugged out of his hold with  a scowl, "What's it to you anyway?"

"No need to be so bitchy. I was just concerned."

"Well, I think you should go back to your girlfriend."

His gaze hardened, "she's not my girlfriend."

"My mistake," she rolled her eyes, "anyway, all's good so you can just--"

"Red."

She froze.

It was so quiet. Jacob's breaths were hard, labored. The wind blew. It was icy cold against her skin.

"You've seen him." Jacob took a step closer, "the wolf."

The wolf. He knew.

Jacob knew.

All at once, Natalia's world broke apart. Amidst it all were Jacob's dark orbs that seemed to dig so deep into her she felt like she was about to suffocate.

"I don't know what you're talking about," the words felt like cement on her tongue.

He took another step closer. And another. Until his cheat was milimeters from her own, until she felt the warmth of his breath on her face. He smelt of wood and fire and warmth and it took everything in her not to sigh.

"I think you know what I'm talking about." He murmured.

"I really don't."

"Stop lying to me."

"I'm not, I--" she was stepping back until she felt the car handle jab at her spine. Swallowing thickly, Natalia fisted her hands into her shirt and tried hard to stop herself from giving anything away despire it all unraveling at her feet.

"Jacob," it was hard not to let it get to her, his stare, the way he seemes to tower over her frame, his scent...everything was just so overwhelming that it made Natalia's head spin. He was so close. So close she couldn't think, "I--"

"There you are! We've been looking all over for you!"

Jared's voice made them spring apart and she was glad for the distraction, for as the older boy reached them she made up an excuse about not feeling too well. That made Quil and Embry quickly jump into concern.

"You need a ride home Talia?" Embry asked despite not having his license. Beside him, Paul said, "I can drive you."

"I'll drive her--" she quickly cut off Jacob's words before he could suggest being alone with her, "Yes Paul. Please." 

She didn't dare look back, and it seemed that Paul felt the tension, for he came to stand between them before gently prodding her arm to usher her away. As she climbed into the passenger seat of his car, she could hear the distant mutterings between the three young men left behind and closed her eyes shut, not wanting to hear any more of what Jacob had to say.

Because if he knew about Red, then maybe there was a connection. A connection that Natalia wasn't sure she wanted to know about. 

————