"How can I?" Natalia scowled down at the pastry dough rolled out beneath her hands, "Why don't you ask Jared yourself?"

"I can't. It's too early days and plus, we've been taking it slow," Kim lets out a loud sigh.

"Trouble in paradise?"

"Hm. Not exactly. I just--" Kim's head cocked as if in thought. The two girls were once again at Emily's house, responsible for overlooking the making of the pastries this afternoon as Emily went out to buy some more groceries. They were to hold a campfire later that night and she'd wanted to make sure that they had an abundant amount of food for these boys. Hence why the other two imprints were left alone.

"Just?" Natalia prompted. She started cutting out the dough, rolling it out once more with the flour-coated pin before taking one edge and rolling it into a small cylinder the size of her palm. They were trying -- and hopefully not failing -- to make croissants.

Kim dropped her hands from the bowl in which she'd mixed in flour, eggs and sugar, "don't you sometimes feel like--like this isn't something you should have? Like it's not natural?" there was nothing playful about her tone, causing Natalia to look up from her handiwork with a frown, "It's nice to have Jared. I mean, I've been crushing on him in middle school and it's like a dream come true for me you know? But sometimes...I can't help but wonder you know? If this is just--something..."

"Forced?" Natalia prompted.

Kim nodded, "something like that."

"Yeah. It did cross my mind once or twice," the latter resumed her croissant-making as she spoke, "but I try to look at it this way-- if I hadn't met Jake and had ended up with someone else, I'm not sure I would've been as happy as I am right now," a shy smile flickered across her mouth.

"Yeah but...what about them?" Kim's voice lowered to a soft, broken murmur. Her eyes went back to Natalia's and it was clear that there was more than just concern. Kim's eyes were filled with the kind of fear that came from low self-esteem, from a place of insecurity.

Kim continued, not realizing the way her shoulders hunched, "I've always had a crush on Jared," she said softly, looking out of the window cottage, "for years, I'd try to talk to him. But I never could, he was just too popular, too nice to everyone. The whole class loved him. And then-- just one day out of nowhere, he sat next to me in Maths class," Kim swallowed thickly before her eyes flitted back to Natalia's face, "it was weird, but I was blind to the attention. This was the boy I'd been fantasizing about forever and he was finally giving me the time of the day."

Natalia's heart ached for Kim. While it was true that the wolves loved their imprints dearly, the nature of their relationship was always something so questionable that Natalia herself sometimes had a hard time coming to terms with it. She set down her dough so that she could lay a comforting arm over her friend's shoulder.

"And then things happened so quickly. One minute he was asking me out on a date an the next-- well, I was his imprint and voila," Kim let out a small, mortified chuckle, 'maybe I should've played hard to get. Maybe I shouldn't have made it so easy for him."

"It's not something you can control," Natalia replied as she rubbed soothing circles over her back, "and what matters is that Jared--he loves you now. He'd do anything to make you happy. Isn't that what matters?"

Tears had gathered in the other girl's eyes and she sniffled, "I suppose so."

"I asked the same thing to Emily once," Natalia's lips curved up into a grin at the memory, "I asked her whether the wolves are forced into this weird imprinting thing. But she told me that the imprint is driven by their subconscious choices. I don't know how much of that is true, but what I do know is this--" she took a soft breath, "Jared wouldn't have chosen you, if his subconscious -- his wolf -- hadn't gotten attached to you or realized that you were good for him. Maybe--Maybe he would've found someone else if he wasn't a wolf. Maybe he would've been happy too. But I don't think he'd be as happy as he was, if you weren't the one he'd chosen."

"I guess," Kim wiped away the tears from her eyes with the back of her arm, giving Natalia a watery smile, "thanks, Talia. It's--It's nice to know I'm not in this alone."

"You aren't," Natalia gave her one last comforting hug, "but we should really finish these croissants before the bonfire or the boys will be onto us."

Kim laughed as she wiped the tearstains from her cheeks, "you're right."

It wasn't an uncommon thought to think that their wolves' love for their imprints weren't genuine and was just a bunch of magical hoo-has that didn't make any sense. Heck, even Natalia had had her fair share of worries and concerns about such a relationship. But the way Jacob looked at her sometimes -- it was hard not to feel like the most special girl in the world when he looked at her like that. When every single moment had him coming to hold her in his arms, as though her physical presence was something he sought, needed like a drug. It didn't matter if the imprint wasn't natural, because the way Jacob moved around her, there wasn't anything that defined home better than laying on his chest during those cold evenings after his shift.

In any case, she just hoped that whatever advice she gave Kim had worked. And it looked like it did, for she all but collapsed into Jared's arms when the boys had come back from patrol despite the fact that they were sweaty and had bits and pieces of mud and wood tainted all over their bodies.

"Wha—" Jared pulled back instantly, grasping her forearms to look at her face. His eyes flashed gold and a soft grumble echoed through him, "did you cry?"

"I—no," Kim bitbher lip, but he wasn't having that, "who made you cry?" He asked lowly.

Kim had to drag him out of the room, sending an apologetic glance towards Natalia before she disappeared past the corridor.

Jacob, on the other hand, lunged for Natalia as soon as he spotted her by the kitchen counter, but the girl merely side-stepped him with her arms wide open, "no," she scoffed, "you're disgusting. Go take a shower first."

"I didn't see Kim complaining," he pouted, even so trying to close the distance.

Natalia stepped back with a hand up to his face, "don't you dare, Jacob Black, or I will scream bloody murder."

Jacob blew a raspberry, "fine," he muttered and turned away, looking like a surly child that was denied cookies before dinnertime, "I'll go and wash up."

His face was so adorable that she giggled at his retreating back, just in time to see Paul striding in and making a beeline for the fresh batch of muffins sitting in Emily's bread basket.

"Hey Talia," only after he'd shoved an entire muffin in his mouth did he notice her.

Natalia shook her head, "gross."

"I'm hungry," he answered, "Sam keeps making us run extra laps around because of that stupid bloodsucker."

"Damn right. And we haven't even smelled anything fishy for days," Embry came in next, flopping his body onto the floor as Paul tossed him a muffin. If Emily were here, she'd throw a fit at the way she was handling her food. Natalia merely rolled her eyes and took a seat next to Paul as he said, "the Cullens are coming back today apparently. Maybe that might change things."

"Oh?" Natalia's eyebrows shot up in surprise. That was news to her, "would they know who it is?"

"Nah. It's definitely a rogue. Not something we've scented before," Embry sighed and leaned back against one of the table legs, "by the way Talia, thanks for all these post-its. I actually recite them all during shift."

Paul rounded on her, "You're the one giving them shit to read?" he looked incredulous.

Natalia shrugged and relented at the delicious scent of baked goods. She picked up a muffin and took a bite, "do you want them to fail their exams?"

"Embry's been tearing my ear off with all these biological facts," Paul shook his head, "it traumatises me. Like I haven't had a shit time in that high school."

"Says the one who slept with half of the girls in his cohort—"

"Shut it Call," Paul let out a growl as his eyes narrowed at the said wolf, "no one asked you to be a fucking monk—"

"I am not," Embry replied coolly, "actually, I—"

"— Do not need to know thank you very much," Natalia scowled at them both as she polished off her muffin, "do you ever realize how dumb you both sound, counting the amount of girls you've had sex with?"

"It's just fooling around Talia, relax," Paul's eyebrows then stitched together. He cast her a look, "wait— don't tell me—"

"You're a virgin?" Embry looked half horrified and half-amused.

Natalia shoved another muffin up Paul's nose, "you are fucking dead, Paul," she hissed, "keep your mouth shut."

"Okay okay," he coughed out pieces of muffin, choking up on his laughter at the look on her face, "but you can't keep that little secret forever you know. Jake will wonder—"

"What part of shut up don't you understand?"

"What will I wonder?"

Jacob's voice caused her to yelp, bumping into Paul as her eyes went as wide as saucers, "n—nothing!" She squeaked with a little too much emotion, causing the said boy to raise a brow, "it's really nothing Jake. Just Paul being annoying."

Thankfully, Jacob's attention was disrupted by Sam's arrival as he helped Emily with the rest of the groceries. That gave Natalia an excuse to finish off her croissants while the rest of the pack was ordered to start the bonfire.

"Never too early am I right?" Seth called over his shoulder as he quickly slipped on a shirt and sprinted out of the house.

"I'll see you later," Jacob said as all the wolves started piling out. Natalia nodded, sent him a small smile. He started for the door, only to stop abruptly and swivel back.

"Jake?" Natalia's brow furrowed, "did you forget some—"

Jacob ducked down to press a kiss to her lips. She sucked a breath, mouth parting.

His tongue caressed her lower lip, biting it slightly as a soft whine echoed through the back of her throat.

The wolf pulled away, smirking at the sight of his now blushing imprint whose heart seemed to suddenly spring into a full-out drumbeat.

"Yeah," he whispered and drew back, "all good now."

And then he was gone, leaving a disheveled Natalia looking after him with weak knees and her breaths all in disarray.

———

Bonfire night was always pleasant. But it was even more so when Natalia had a full-on human heater that she could cuddle.

It had started with an early dinner as the pack watched the sun set in the horizon, kissing the waves and turning the entire world golden for a moment. It moved on then to stories about the pack's childhood and how interconnected their lives were. That soon turned into who was the strongest at arm wrestling because surely, each wolf was strong in his own way right?

"But there's Leah," Natalia looked over at the short-haired girl, "you should be strong too, right?"

"Damn right I am." Leah muttered.

"Come on then Clearwater," Paul smirked and held out his arm, "show me what you got."

And that was how, despite her flurry of protests, Natalia was forced into the arm wrestling pit with a grinning Paul and a pack of wolves that seemed all too keen on seeing her lose. Embry, Quil and Seth had even resorted to chanting out her name as if in mockery.

"Natalia! Natalia! Natalia—"

"Shut up!" She spat at them. Jacob, who was watching from behind with laughter bubbling from his lips, couldn't help but find the sight adorable.

"You ready Talia? I'll beat your ass," Paul snickered, flexing his arm for good measure and tightening his grip on her hand.

He ran hot, his touch almost searing her skin. She growled, "you're just enjoying this because this is just a pity match."

"Aw c'mon princess, it's just for fun."

"Fun maybe for you."

"I'll even use half my energy. I promise."

"We both know you're still gonna win."

"Well I can't lie to that either."

"Ready?" Sam held up his arm in mock salute. Natalia all but shoved her feet into sand, locking her entire body and taking a breath, "Set. GO!"

It took all of three seconds for Paul to slam her arm onto the table.

The entire group exploded in a flurry of annoyance and enjoyment, calling out how unfair this was in the very first place.

Natalia was, as expected, fuming. She all but spat at him, "You're lucky I like you or I would've already kicked you where the sun doesn't shine."

"Love you too princess," Paul winked back.

"Alright that's enough," strong arms wound around her waist, pulling her up to a warm, naked chest that she could only discern as Jacob's as he tugged her away from the crowd and towards the beach. He walked her a few paces away, far enough that they had a bit of privacy, before he grabbed her hand and placed a cold can of beer against her skin.

The cold rippled through her body in a shudder, "what's that for?"

"Trust me, with the way Paul was gripping your hand, I'm surprised you didn't lose it altogether," he didn't seem all that pleased about the way his pack brother had handled her and Natalia suspected that Paul was going to get an earful once they went back to the house. A small smile tugged at her lip at that.

"Thanks," she cocked her head up at him, "you sure you don't want to compete against me?" She jerked her chin towards the said table, now occupied by Seth and Quil, "I'm a formidable opponent, if I may say so myself."

"Unless you want me to break you in half, no," Jake poked at her forehead.

"I'm not that fragile Jake."

"I know you're not," his grin caused butterflies to trickle through her stomach, "but it's my job to care about you."

"Sweet words. That part of your flirting strategy?"

"Ah but if we are talking about flirting..." and suddenly he was in her personal space, the can of beer forgotten as he tossed it back into the cooler. His chest, so close to hers, had heat sizzling off his skin and made her suddenly breathless. His breaths washed over her features and their noses were almost touching, just barely there, that if she leaned in—

His thumb moved up to push a hair from her face, lingering there along her cheekbone as something akin to tenderness softened his gaze. Natalia's breath lost all sense as she kept on holding his eyes, not quite sure what to make of this sudden gentle display of affection.

"I—actually, I have a question," she all but blurted out.

He cocked his head, smiling a little as he pulled back and gave Natalia the chance to breathe a little. Her head was not hers whenever he was too close. It was dangerous. A dangerous addiction.

"What question?" His fingers clasped around hers before tugging her away from the group. They started down the beach, the only light source coming from the moon as it glimmered across the waves. The soft lull was a comforting sound to her ears.

"Well, the girls and I have been talking..."

He groaned, "I don't like the sound of that."

"Emily said something, she—she said I should ask you about it," Natalia spared him a glance then, only to look away when embarrassment flushed through her cheeks, "—she mentioned something about... bonding."

She didn't need to look at him to know that he'd completely stiffened and stopped in his movements. His body was frozen, his breaths coming out at shorter intervals. Natalia squeezed his hand — the one holding on to hers — only to notice the subtle tremors raking along his arms down to his palms.

"Jake? I'm sorry—" she scrambled around for the right words, unsure what had set him off, "Jake, I'm sorry if I said something wrong."

Jacob's breath hitched before he squeezed his eyes shut, took a big calming gush of air. Exhaling softly through his mouth, his brown eyes flitted back to hers, "sorry," he mumbled, "I—I'm working on getting that under control."

"There's nothing to be sorry about."

His lips twitched into a fond smile as his eyes fluttered back open. Gazing down at the said girl that had stolen his heart and his every rational thought, Jacob wondered if that immense wave of love crashing into his chest was considered normal.

And then, he remembered what they were talking about. His skin prickled threateningly.

"Right," he cleared his throat, looked away, "bonding is... something that wolves do, in times of emergencies or when the wolf needs extra reassurance that his mate will be safe. We—" he waved his hand in a motion and Natalia swore she could spot the embarrassed heat flushing through his cheeks, "—it's very... uhm... intimate."

Natalia blinked, "intimate?" She repeated dumbly, "what—"

It hit her. She reeled back in shock, gaping at him openly as it sunk in.

Suddenly, Emily's mischievous look made sense. The way she'd looked at her, the sly smile along her lips.

That was what she meant.

Intimate.

Oh.

"I—does that mean—" words seemed to fail and splutter as she tried to make sense of it all, "so when..."

"Well—" he coughed, a hand rubbing the back of his neck, "—it happens during you know— uhm— sex, usually. We mark you on your neck and—yeah."

If she wasn't so mortified, she would've probably made fun of the embarrassment filling up his face like a little boy who got his hand caught in a cookie jar. But just the thought of it — the act — caused her stomach to knot and boiling warmth to sear through her chest.

Oh she'd read about it in stories alright, and had made out with boys before, back in Vancouver. But it was always just innocent, no clothes removal included. This— this was a completely different matter.

It wasn't that Natalia hadn't wanted to. But her mother had told her about how special it was when done with the right person. And Natalia hadn't found that person then.

Until now.

"Hey," she felt the brush of Jacob's hand along her cheekbone and peered up at him through her bangs, "sorry, I— bonding isn't a need, it's a want. And nobody has, apart from Sam and Emily so... you don't have to worry about that."

Another thought struck her, "is this why you—you restrain yourself?"

The way he'd hold her, always with such care. Or the way his eyes flashed gold. Or the way he'd tremble hovering above her, his lips mere centimeters—

Everything made sense. It was like a switch had clicked on in her brain.

That was why he had pushed her away once.

That was the reason why he never strayed far from just kisses.

She suspected it had something to do with her. But the bonding changed that now.

It was a long, drawn-out moment before Jacob let out a soft breath and dropped his hand from her cheek, "yeah," his murmur was hoarse, "I—I don't want to hurt you."

"But then...doesn't that mean—"

"No." His eyes flashed golden again, "no."

"But you said so yourself," Natalia murmured, "that it's a want, and clearly your wolf—"

"Has no idea what it wants right now." He shook his head, jaw flenching and unclenching as his hands balled into tight fists, "look Talia, I don't want to hurt you. And that's not— it's not what I want, unless you want it. It's not because my wolf can't control himself that we have to bond. We don't have to, ever, for all I care because that's not— it's not right."

"What happens then? When you bond?"

"Well," he closed his eyes for a minute, as if to