so I've completely planned the book so i know where i want it to go (but its not written yet) and this chapter is kinda related to the end chapter so yeah

OH AND THANKS FOR 3K ILY

ashton's pov:

luke is still traumatised.

he gets nightmares about it and i feel like absolute crap.

"h-hey ash?" i hear faintly.

"luke?"

"i-i'm sorry.. i couldn't sleep... i had a-another one"

"c'mere" i say opening my arms wide and embracing him.

"i'm so so sorry, baby boy"

he begins to sob harder and i feel my heart ache,

i'm the cause if this...

eventually his crying turns to soft snores and his body falls limp onto mine, he releases small puffs as his tear stained cheeks squish against my chest, making his face look squidgy and adorable.

i pull him fully onto my chest and tuck our radiating bodies in, under the sheets.

"night, angel... i'm so so sorry" i repeat before dosing off myself.

i still feel like shit, and honestly i deserve it... yes we're both trained in being safe when it comes to punishments, but you never know the emotional pain a person feels.

and the things is, i could see how much pain like was in...yet i didn't stop it.

i don't know wether it was the built up anger from him lying to me (which is still no excuse) or just the fact that he needed to learn his lesson, but something took over me that night and it just wasn't me.

again, still no excuse.

it is currently midnight and i lay in my bed, luke fast asleep next to me, as i'm consumed by my thoughts.

but then i feel the bed move and luke sigh.

"hey, ash?" i'm cut short of my thoughts.

"yeah?"

"d-do you think i could call my mom...when i used to get nightmares she would sing to me and i can't sleep and i-i just really want to hear her voice"

"do they live near?"

"yes"

"well how about we go visit them tomorrow... they're probably asleep now, and if they'd be willing maybe you could stay there for a bit...i mean you probably don't want to be around me and it's underst-"

"no ash, i want you there. i know they'll be okay with it, they're super nice and i want you to meet them anyway.."

"you sure?"

"yeah"

"well get some rest then baby, good night"

"good night"

-

ever since we arrive at luke's parents' house, i've been getting this i hate you, get out my house vibe from luke's father.

luke says he's like that to everyone but as we currently sit at the dinner table i can feel his eyes burning holes into my skin.

"so ashton, what do you do?" luke's mother, liz, asks.

"oh, i'm an estate agent, but it's currently our time off"

"that's nice" luke's father, andrew, ends the conversation quickly, before adding, "for someone like you" under his breath, earning a kick from liz and a glare from luke.

i just laughs silently to himself because honestly it's amusing when people hate me.

they'll find any little thing to try and mock and degrade you.

a while later, whilst luke and liz clean up (after me insisting and them declining) it was just me and andrew.

"okay, look, i'm sorry, but do you not like me or something? because i'm under the impression you don't..."

"no" he chuckles softly but i can tell it's fake. "why would you think that?"

"are you really gonna ask that? you've been glaring at me for the past hour and just avoiding me in general...did i do something, sir?"

"look, ashton. you did do something... you're dating luke."

"you're gonna need to elaborate"

he sighs. "look, it's not you...you seem like a pretty alright guy, i just don't approve of this whole 'bdsm relationship', what kind of lifestyle is something like that?.."

"sir, with all do respect, its none of your fucking business what 'lifestyle it is', luke chose it and he's happy, you should be happy for him" i quietly yell.

"i am happy, i just don't approve of the relationship, and i'm damn well allowed to!" he raises his voice but still not loud enough for luke and liz to hear.

"you're allowed to frown upon something you know nothing about?"

"look, as long as my sons happy, i'm happy, now just drop it before i kick you out my house"

"wow" i laugh sarcastically, "just wow" i say before getting up and walking out, leaving andrew alone at the table.

-

currently, luke and i are cuddled up watching mean girls, because luke insisted.

his parents have gone to sleep and luke keeps apologising now and then for his dad's rude behaviour.

honestly, i don't really care, so i silence him by pressing my lips to his.

when we pull away i say, "it's fine, baby, he's entitled to his opinion"

"yeah but he's not allowed to judge you when he knows nothing about you... you're far from perfect ash, but so am i, and we both know that, but who are they to judge us, and who are we to judge them?"

"woah, when d'you become so opinionated and inspirational"

he laughs. "i've always viewed stuff like that, i just no one to tell"

i caress his cheek, before cupping his jaw and connecting our lips for yet another kiss.

as the movie comes to an end and i switch it off, i see luke thinking deeply about something.

i decide not to ask and just scoop up his small body in my arms and carry him upstairs.

"you tired, baby boy?"

"mhm" he hums.

i held luke's petite body close, carrying him upstairs, as we enter the guest room, i place the sleepy boy on the bed.

"need to undress you baby, c'mon arms up" i speak, trying to undress the boy.

i slip off the blonde boys sweater after he reluctantly raises his arms. i then slide off his skinnies, leaving him in just panties. i grab one of my big t-shirts and dress him in it. i then pick him back up and cradle him in my arms.

i press a kiss to his nose and forehead before placing him under the duvet.

i then undress myself to just boxers and climb in to bed with luke. i wrap my arms around him and he snuggles into my chest.

but before either of us can fall asleep i hear luke ask,

"is this still a bdsm relationship?" he suddenly blurts, never once peeling his eyes away from the barely visible ceiling.

"i don't know, luke" i sigh, rubbing his side soothingly.

"me either"

"i do know one thing, though"

"what's that?" he finally turns and looks at me.

"no matter what i won't let you go again, you're mine, princess, rules or no rules"

"i love you" he smiles.

"i love you too"

"forever?"

"forever."

and with that, we fall asleep... well that was after i hear liz coo and take pictures.

but then for real, we fall asleep.

-

i freaking hate this (im literally cringing) but im excited for the next chapter but i don't wanna spoil it but LETS JUST SAY DRAMAISSOONTOCOMEANDBREAKYOURLILHEARTSINTWOOKAYNOTREALLYBUTSORTAIDKISHOULDSTOP (sorry im atl trash)

okay well vote and comment ((:

ily - nabs. x