“‘Take a day off today,’ they said. ‘We definitely don’t need you at the station today,’ they said.” Kasai-san grumbles as he steps out of his car - a sleek black Mazda that doesn’t at all match the person stepping out of it.

“Morning, Inspector,” you call, waving to him from where you’re standing with the rest of Investigative Division 1. “Seems like someone finally managed to crawl out of their bed this morning.”

He ducks under the yellow caution tape, choosing to ignore your side comment - something he’s been doing for a long time. (It’s a shame, really, how fast he had gotten used to your remarks.) “Sergeant. Status update.”

You nod in reply, kneeling down as you peel off your gloves to place your palm against the warm concrete. You let your quirk activate, closing your eyes to concentrate and feel the vibrations spreading throughout the earth. “7 hostages, only 1 villain. 10 minutes have passed since the initial break-in. Hostages are being held at gunpoint so we haven’t been allowing any pro heroes or personnel in.” You get up, checking the time on your watch. “We called for a hostage negotiator a minute ago, but it seems he won’t be able to come for another 15 minutes. Something about a purse-snatcher with a gigantification quirk blocking the main road.”

Kasai-san stares at the blocked off bank entrance before giving a quick glance to where the pro-hero Death Arms and Crust are arguing with a police officer, trying to get in. (The officer is wearing a shiny new badge, you notice. Poor Nishi-kun, he’s just an intern. You’ll buy him a coffee later.)

Kasai-san walks up to a nearby officer and borrows the megaphone, directing it at the bank. “Sir, if you decide to come out, no one will get hurt. We can talk this over.”

Everyone glances at the front entrance hoping for some signal of surrender, only to get static silent in response. You activate your quirk again to check for a reaction, but the only thing the villain has done is grab one of the hostages and jab the barrel of his gun into their temple. (He hesitates while choosing a hostage, opting to grab the female bank teller rather than the little girl closest to him.)

The clock is ticking, and there’s not much time left before some pro-hero gets impatient and swoops in, spooking the villains and getting some poor lady’s head blown off. 15 minutes is a long wait, and it’s almost certain that the situation will only worsen by then. If only you could-

Kasai-san’s voice interrupts your train of thought. “Sergeant, how many hours of crisis negotiation training have you had?”

A small grin spreads across your face as you turn to answer. “43 hours, sir.”

“...Then are you alright with being the impromptu negotiator?”

You wriggle your eyebrows ever so slightly (the minimal amount you’re allowed to in response to a superior officer), already peeling off your gloves and unholstering your gun. “The minimum requirement is 40 hours, Inspector. This is something I’ve been training for.”

Kasai-san gives you a quick glance of uncertainty, but eventually nods and affirms your new assignment.

You walk up to the entrance, flipping open your badge to the standing officer. “Division 1 Sergeant. I’ll be the on-site negotiator for this case.” He gives you a look-over before nodding and stepping aside. “Negotiator on-site.” The officer repeats, voice crackling to life through the radio. “Keep all pro-heroes and officers outside until we get the green light.”

A cold blast of A/C greets you as you shove the door open, stepping into the bank. The moment your boots click against the ceramic tiling, the first villain shoves the gun barrel deeper into the hostage’s temple. “ Put your hands up or I’ll shoot! I’ll fucking do it! ”

“Hold on, I’m a negotiator with the police department. I’m unarmed.” You announce, keeping your voice clear and making your movements as obvious as possible.

The villain is shaking as you walk towards him, your hands in the air. His eyes are darting around the building and he’s breathing heavily, struggling to deal with the hyperventilating hostage.

The 7 hostages are all next to the reception counters, a majority of them everyday working-class citizens aside from the mother and her young daughter near the back of the bank . The female bank teller in the villain’s grip is sobbing and begging for her life - and though the villain is pretending not to be bothered by her tears, the way his grip on the gun falters and his eyes dart back and forth shows that he’s not too sure.

You take a deep breath before continuing. “Everything’s going to be okay. Put down your weapon, deactivate your quirk and we can handle this in a safe manner. We’re going to get everybody out of here.”

“Don’t fuck with me!” The villain threatens. “The moment I let this bitch go - stop crying, goddamnit - you’ll send in some pro hero to take me down!” He’s losing control, his ski mask doing little to cover the panic on his face.

He favors his right hand as he adjusts his grip on the gun, a strip of pale skin on his ring finger. His nervousness with a gun tells you that he probably doesn’t know how to use it, especially not with a shoddy stance and slumped stature. Choosing not to display his quirk is likely due to the fact that it is, in this case, useless. (But it’s too early to think that, you remind yourself. Best not to assume.)

“As long as you don’t hurt anybody, we won’t do anything.” You promise, slowly gesturing at the one-way windows. “Look outside, at all the police officers and pro heroes. If you shoot that woman they will hear the gunshot and they will burst in here and take you down . That’s not the way we have to end this.”

“What the fuck..!” The curses fly out of his mouth in a torrent of rage and panic. “What are my chances… shit, shit !”

“Not bad at all, actually.” You tell him gently, taking a single step forward. “There was a case just last week where someone tried to break into a bank vault just like you. We talked to him and he asked for a car, so we gave it to him.”

There’s disbelief in the villain’s eyes as he locks gazes with yours. “And he- and he lived? Didn’t get shot, or killed or-”

“Nope, he got on the freeway and disappeared before heroes could get to him. The only thing is that he didn’t hurt anybody .” (You deliberately leave out the fact that he was caught a day later trying to catch a flight to France - the entire division pulled an all nighter tracking him down. It was horrible.)

“So what do you need?” You pause to squint at the female hostage’s name tag. “If you let Ito-san and the rest of the people here go, you can get out of here safe and sound.”

“Money! Give me money.” The word bursts out of his mouth as he latches onto the opportunity. He removes the gun from Ito-san’s temple, choosing instead to wave it at all the other hostages. “I need it. This… everything would be better if I just had money…!”

“Alright sir, we can do that.” You put your hands up to caution and slowly move back towards the front door. “Now I’m just going to go outside to talk with my supervisors about how much money we can settle, but I’ll need you to let me bring somebody outside so they believe me.”

The villain brings up his gun and aims it at your chest in a panic, watching you move towards the entrance. “Just give me my money, okay?! You cops and heroes are all the same, with your fancy strong quirks , thinking you own the place! Well you’re wrong! I’ll fucking shoot you if you do something funny!”

“Sir, you’re free to shoot me all you want, but the next negotiator isn’t going to say anything different than what I’ve told you already.” You look at the hostage standing nearest to the front door and motion him to come with you. “Now I’m going to ask this kind young man to come with me, so just stay put, okay?” The young man rushes toward you in a brisk panic, and you grab his arm once he reaches you to keep him steady, continuing your slow walk towards the door. “Everything’s going to be all right, and once I get back we’ll get everyone out of here.”

There are tears streaming down the villain’s face as his face grow red. “Quit fucking around! I’ll shoot her, you shit - I’ll do it! I’ll fucking do it!”

“Sir, sir .” You warn the villain, putting one hand in front of you as you usher the young hostage out the front entrance with the other. “Take your gun away from Ito-san so we don’t have any accidents while I’m outside, okay?” You step outside and take a deep breath, watching the young man bolt to the safety of an EMT.

“1 hostage down, 6 more to go.” Kasai-san reminds as you step outside. “Now if only-”

“How much money do you spend to send your daughter to that fancy private school?” You cut him off impatiently, waiting for an answer.

Kasai-san frowns, confused at your question. He opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again to reply. “Around 1,400,000 yen. Why?”

“Ok, perfect. Thanks.” You move to walk back into the bank, only to be stopped when a thin red strand unspools itself in front of you to reveal the No. 5 Pro Hero, Edgeshot.

“What’s going on?” He presses, moving to walk alongside you as you push past him and rush towards the front entrance. “It’s a hostage situation, I can-”

“2 minutes.” You turn around and meet his gaze. “2 minutes, Shinya. That’s all I need.”

He searches your eyes for a better answer - and finding none, relents. While he turns around to ask Kasai-san for a timer, you shove the front doors of the bank open again and move as fast as you can without running back to the center of the room.

“What the hell were you doing out there?! What’s going on?!” The villain yells as you come back in.

“Okay, sir, it’s happening.” You announce, putting your hands back up. “We can get some money in cash, around 1,400,000 yen. Everything’s settled, everything’s cool, we’re going to get everybody out of here safe and sound. But to show that you’ll work with us, we’re going to need a small act of kindness.” You walk closer, closing the gap between you and the villain.

“ Just give me the fucking money! ” His gun wavers the closer you get, but you keep on moving forward until you’re standing directly in front of him.

“We just need you to let one more person go,” you reason, motioning at the 6 hostages huddled up to your left. “Just one more person, sir, and you can have the money. One more person and you can send your daughter to a better school, one where she won’t be bullied as much for being quirkless.”

The villain freezes at the mention of his daughter, eyes widening as he stutters. “Airi-chan… she- you-”

“You won’t have to worry anymore,” you continue, piecing together everything you’ve seen and heard so far in a quick attempt to connect the dots. “If you let one more person go then you can return to your daughter safely - you don’t want to have to be locked up, right?”

He freezes, slowly lowering his gun. “Y-yeah, that’d be… I…” He raises his head, jerking it at the mother and daughter duo to your left. “Take them! I don’t fucking know, just take them!”

“Ok, that’s good.” You look at the mother, nodding your head as she and her daughter scramble to the front door. “Alright, that’s good. You see, we’re making progress.” You look back at the villain, putting your hands back up in defense as you motion for him to stay put. “Now I’m going to go back outside and get all the money, okay?”

“Just do it quick, you shit!”

“Alright, okay, I’ll get your money.” You begin to turn around and walk back outside, before you stop. “Wait, I have a question.”

“What the fuck is it?!”

You turn around slightly to look at the villain, looking him in the eyes.. “What high school are you planning on sending your daughter to?”

The villain’s face freezes, slowly morphing into one of uncertainty. “Keika Gakuen.” He replies, confused at your question.

“Nice choice.” You start walking again, your hands staying up in the air the entire time. “So what school does she attend right now?”

(You count down slowly in your head. 2 seconds left.)

The villain throws his hands up in exasperation, momentarily releasing his grip on the female bank teller as he replies. “What kind of fucking questions are you-”

Before you can blink, a thin red strand makes its way through the closed doors and pierces the villain in the gut, causing him to collapse on the ground, unconscious.

“Negotiations are complete.” Edgeshot says as he elevates himself back to his normal appearance, turning to the hostages. “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows. Do not fret, for your lives are now in safe hands.”

“ Everybody down on the floor !” Police officers burst through the front entrance, and the hostages let out a sob of joy as the situation slowly stabilizes.

You stare at the scene before you in relief, letting the tension release from your shoulders as officers and pro-heroes burst into the room - the villain is hauled up onto a stretcher, and then loaded into an Iron Maiden outside for further questioning back at the prison. Meanwhile, you and other uniformed officers help lead the other hostages outside, helping them get checked by a paramedic to make sure nothing is wrong other than a rapid pulse and a slightly lower-than-normal blood pressure.

By the time things have calmed down and the crowd of onlookers has dissipated, Shinya is discussing something with some officers near the blockade of police cars.

“How did you find out so much in a 10 minute negotiation?” Kasai asks. If he’s impressed, it’s obviously not showing on his face.

You give him a grin. “You see Inspector, it’s just that his ski mask wasn’t very good at masking his intentions.”

Kasai-san takes the opportunity to walk away. (The rest of the officers at least grace you with a groan, though you’re pretty sure you heard someone snort.)

Glancing to your right, you raise an eyebrow at Shinya. He doesn’t respond, even though you’re right next to him and he had to have heard you.

“Come on, was my joke not sharp enough for you?” You tease, your grin slowly turning into a smile. Now is not the time to catch up with an old friend, but when it comes to Shinya, you just can’t help yourself.

Shinya gives you a look (ah yes, the neutral face of displeasure) before turning to walk away. “And I was so sure that your quirk puns had ended when we graduated from U.A.”

You let out a small laugh, calling one last pun out to him. “Sorry, sorry! It seems like my puns fell a little bit… flat .”

“I'm going to stab you.”

Word count- 2632