Can POV

Football practice just ended and I'm waiting for Good to gather his things. We've been practising late, preparing for the big game coming up. We really have to win this. No and Type made me and Good stay to put away the equipment. It was our punishment for not being on time. I glance over at Good. Somehow he still hasn't closed his backpack. I'm getting impatient.

"Are you coming?" I ask, feeling restless and bored.

Good just nods, slowly, and turns around to pick up his water bottle. Everything seems to be in slow motion. When he finally puts his backpack on his shoulder and looks at me. I grab his arm and drag him with me.

We're going to the see Pete at the library. I'm really hoping Tin stayed late to study too. I'm practically jumping up the stairs, not really paying attention to Good, who's lagging behind. I enter and immediately search for a familiar face. Pete is waving at me. Ae is already sitting beside him, but no Tin. I have a sinking feeling, and Good catches up to me as I walk over.

Pete asks about practice and they're all chatting. I stare at an empty chair, not really following their conversation.

"Tin had to do some errands. He said he would study at home," Pete says and gives me a sympathetic smile.

I try to smile back.

"You can call him, you know," Ae says.

I could call him.

"Just talk to him," Good adds.

They're all looking at me expectantly. I just nod.

I should call him.

Tin POV

I'm in the middle of making dinner when my phone rings. I ignore it. Tul has been calling me every day since I moved out of the family house. I don't want to call it a home. It never was. Tul wants to know where I live now, and tell me bullshit. I'm tired of listening to him.

I take a deep breath and sit down to eat. Most people don't know this about me, but I'm actually a pretty decent cook. Most people don't really know anything about me, I suppose. I'm trying to open up. Try to give people a chance, even if they get a chance to hurt me. I'm somehow still surviving after the mess with Can, even if it still hurts.

I still haven't talked to him. I've been purposely ignoring him, and I think he's doing the same. Both Pete and Ae still insists that he just needs time. I almost call him every single day. If only to hear his voice again. I miss him, but I stop myself. i know it'll only hurt me more. I take a deep breath as I sit down to eat.

The phone is ringing again. Annoyed, I grab it to put it on silent. The screen is blinking aggressively, but it's not Tul's name. It's Can. I choke on the food in my mouth. I cough and struggle to get it down. The phone is still ringing.

A mixture of anticipation and anxiety bubbles up inside me as I accept the call.

"Hello?" My voice is hoarse from the coughing.

"Hi Tin! You sound strange. Are you okay?"

Can talks too fast and says too much, as usual. It's so good to hear his voice again, and the concern it's laced with makes me warm.

"Tin! Are you there?" He shouts.

"Yes. I'm fine, I just got something stuck in my throat."

I'm helpless against the smile spreading across my face.

"Are you sure? You know it can be really dangerous to get stuff stuck in your throat. You can suffocate and die and--"

"Can, I'm really fine. Is there a reason you're calling me?"

I interrupt his rant. He'll never stop if I don't. I try to sound relaxed, but my nerves still makes it come out somewhat harsh. Can takes a deep breath before answering me.

"Mmm.. I just wanted to check in on you. It's been a long time since we last talked..." He pauses and takes another breath. I'm holding mine. Not really sure what to expect.

"And I miss you," he says. And I swear I see fireworks.

"...I miss my friend."

I almost choke on my own happiness.

We both stay silent. I hear him breathing, and I'm trying to calm down. Trying not to break.

"Will you please be my friend again?"

Can sounds broken too.

"I already told you it's not your friendship I want. It's too hard to just be your friend right now."

"What can I do to go back to the way we were?" Can asks.
"I'll send you texts, I'll answer every time you call, I'll let you kiss me, I'll do anything!"

His voice cracks at the end and it's tearing up my heart.

"Look, it's not about that. Please don't make this harder then it already is."

He doesn't say anything. For once in his life he's quiet. I'm struggling to keep it together.

"I'm sorry, Can. I'm sorry for pressuring and manipulating you. I shouldn't have."

I figure I might as well apologise for my wrong-doings. Maybe if I had treated him right, things would be different now.

"I'm so sorry," I say sincerely.

"I... You... I mean--" Can stutters and I can practically feel him scrambling. I can't take this.

"I have to go now. Sorry."

"Tin, please..."

"Good luck with your big game."

I hope he hears me smiling, I still want to cheer him on.

I hang up just before the tears starts falling.

Can POV

I stare at my phone. My eyes are wet from tears. What just happened? This really wasn't how it was supposed to go. I throw my phone away. It bounces on the mattress and falls to the floor with a thud. I just wanted to talk to him again. Why is he so stubborn?

Why can't he just be my friend?!

Tin apologised to me. The so-called "Ice Prince" himself, apologised for manipulating me. Doesn't he know that I would've never bothered with him if I didn't want to?

My brain is making me dizzy with all these thoughts. I, carefully, lie down and hide under my covers. I don't want Ley to hear me crying. She's been extra kind to me, and giving me a lot of weird looks lately. I don't want her to worry. I'm the big brother, after all.

Tin is hurting too. I know he is. What can I do to make this right?

I'm so confused, still. My focus bounces around and I don't know what to do. Tin mentioned the game. Maybe he'll come see it. I hope he will. I should ask Pete to bring him, he'll be there to cheer on Ae and the rest of us anyway. Imagining Tin at the stands, cheering and smiling is making me feel better. I know it's a long shot, but maybe. I'll win the game for him and he'll join us all to celebrate after. 

I fall asleep, dreaming of Tin. Just like every other night.

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