The world and its narrative are unreliable. History was a collective instance of those situations. That's so far that, which anyone who met me was bound to find out. How? Either the light-hearted or doomed way.

Sucrose and Klee were great examples of people I let into my inner circle whilst I never fully revealed everything. There were a lot of messy traces left. Both were aware of my concealed, unreliable facts since I was biased from the moment I stopped remembering my parents' exact features. The smile lines, the shine in their eyes, the sound of their voice when they sang me to sleep with ballads and folklore. It was blurry and lost, like my divided loyalty.

On the other side, it met Diluc and especially Venti on the doomed side of the unreliable and cruel jest first hand. Betraying someone you build attachment towards was hard. Yet, I managed, all the more the reasons to pat myself on the shoulder for tricking them.

It was less easy than I figured.

As we went back on the way, I was pushed into the wagon. I knew this was a precaution. I didn't blame them. It was better to be cautious around spies who worked there for a bit too long than risking a betrayal. Attachments do wonders to a person's conscience. Some would kill, and others would die on the other hand, for example.

One sacrifices something, and the other is the victor.

The silence was unbearable. It was weird and odd not to hear an upbeat voice fill up the silence with jests or poems. This odd atmosphere shouldn't have been there. Neither should the closeness exist.

We reached the grant, familiar doors. They were somewhat comforting? To have them in your sight, I mean. I was still somewhat restraint, although it wasn't as bad as before.

This long dark corridor carried the gloomy and melancholic atmosphere in it. It didn't decrease in the absence. The corridor kept the same energy as in my nightmares, which haunted my sleepless body. These days stacked on me. They became more and more frequent.

Consumed by peculiar thoughts, which attracted negativity, I nearly walked into the library door. If it weren't for a sudden pull back to reality, I would have run into the door.

I pushed it and entered. My blood froze when the door creaked, high pitched, it was eerie.

It was weird, haunting, and worse than than the hallways I've crossed.

Someone took their strength  together and pushed me. Their words were icy, sharp, and resentful, "Stay in there," they said.

There were no escape routes, no secret passages, nothing.

With no other choice left to possibly choose from. All that was left to do would be going inside. Besides everything else that could have been done, the smarter decision would always be obedience.

Defiance with a shorter lever was so painfully stupid. It was hammered into anyone's skull who thought it wasn't, through punishment. If not for that, Lisa made them write pages filled with essays when they dared to utter a word about our unquestioned compliance.

I tried my luck once, too, but it never ended well.

I walked towards her desk. A certain appeal of curiosity drew me there. Which paid off when I glanced at a book with an interesting title. The cover was darker with golden strings lacing the books edges and center. I didn't think too much of this book. It seemed nice, like Lisa.

Wild creatures and how to tame them.

I asked her for book recommendations before. If I had the time available, I could always ask for them again and the content.

When a sudden hand on my shoulder gripped my skin tight, the squeeze made my muscles become sore. The agitation from the sudden sensation was undeniable. Some sort of dread was in there.

"Lisa—oh, it's you." I turned around only to recognize the same old eyepatch. The blue hair and the wicked smirk, compared to it, mine faded.

Lisa was behind him. A smile inched over my lips, I pushed his hand off and embraced her. She patted me on my back. I leaned into the way she caressed my hair.

"Kaeya," Lisa addressed, "will you give us a minute?" He nodded. That was all he did.

"Do not, believe your eyes." she whispered, then she smiled, "Take a few books to study from the list I've made, sweetheart. You need to catch up. Oh, and Kaeya will interrogate you here, but when you're done, pick out something fun to read." she squeezed my shoulder, the same aura that surrounded her was eerie.

I kept quiet and walked towards Kaeya. Who smiled with this disgusting attitude, his smirk was despicable.

"You're interrogating me, seriously?" I looked at him. He was going to interrogate me in a library—a place of beauty and knowledge. It should be quiet, yet it wasn't, which wasn't really a problem for him. He always got it somehow. It was frustrating.

He gave me no reply, but I shook it off. It was his ideal scenario to rile my frustration up.

"What about it?" he hummed, then his smile faded. Kaeya wasn't a pleasant figure to be around in this time and age. The questions he'd ask could be as simple as Teyvat’s ocean being blue or a hilichurls offensive nature.

"What have you been doing in all of these past months?" he asked. I could have replied, 'I did some spy work, betrayed people, grew unnecessary attachments, fell somewhere along the journey, and broke someone's heart.'

"What you demanded." I said.

"And did you find out anything else? Are you concealing something." Yeah, but quite frankly, I wouldn't tell him that, of course. I did everything I had to.

I wasn't sure how this was supposed to be an interrogation. It was the farthest thing from it.

My eyes grew heavy, and it became harder to focus in the silent atmosphere. I rubbed my eyes while trying to reassert my concentration.

"I want you to swear something." he said. When those words left his mouth, something in me struck. I couldn't name it, but the uncertainty I was confronted with seemed wrong.

I looked at him, his ocean blue eyes narrowed as his gaze hardened. "You'll do us a favor when the time is right, okay?" he smiled, sinister, and I tried not to show how my pulse rose or how the blood throbbed in my ears. I felt a shiver run down my back.

After his footsteps seemed to fade in the distance between us, I walked to the desk where Lisa had laid the list on.

As I read it, I smiled.

Such sweet recommendations.

The list I laid my eyes on said:

Good methods to melt into your envoirement

old myths and folklore

the windborn boy

old friends grief - a guide to coping with grief

herbology 101

intellectual basic facts

meet them at the river 

I went over to talk to Lisa. We chatted for a while, and she gave me the books I wanted to look for. It was such a nice conversation, although nothing was worth telling about if you asked me. It should be summarized in a few words. Those nice little things, which happen to you every other day. This was one of those instances.

How was I not supposed to look at it and smile when she had been my mentor for a decade. When she told me folklore and ballads—and finished what my parents had begun.

Something I once upon a time only dreamed of.

——✧･ﾟ: ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆

RAINEE's NOTE;
The scene where she betrayed him and the scene where he said "your blood tastes like that of a goddess" are the reasons I wrote this. (Both from previous chapters), and it feels so satisfying to watch the plot I planned unfold

I cut the content of this chapter into two btw

Also, mc ≠ hero

mc ≠ good person

applies 😭

Also, WOW??? at some point, this was trending on Albedo #2?? what
and if y'all want to follow me on tiktok, I'd appreciate it if you followed @ raincloudstrash (cosplay) and @ raincloudsworld (general acc) cause DM's work there and y'all can talk to me a bit or see my cosplay content :)