In the morning hours, I woke up even before the sun rose. I would use the opportunity of sleeping in at this place, but at this point, I didn't have the certainty to feel safe and sound. My nightmares would wake me up, sweat bathed, surrounded by a drenched pillow and watered cheeks. I couldn't rediscover the comfort to fall asleep again at all. Many occurrences in the past week were like this morning.
I sat on the same steps as the day before when I sat there with Diluc, but I didn't sit on the lowest cold step, I sat on the first that led to the wine garden-the top one.
Just like Diluc had, but unlike the other day, I felt lower than when I sat on the bottom. The difference was, however, while he looked down upon me yesterday, he gave me that advice and those soft spoken words. I felt my heart drop on shock. Somehow, the least I'd expect him to do happened. I didn't expect him to handle my feelings this well. I saw in my imagination how he'd scoff and shrug it off as he came across to me as annoyed more than I counted.
That sweet side caught me off guard when I thought I figured him out. And for a few moments, I forgot that he was one of my targets. That it was necessary for me to finish things off. It was weird in retrospect to furthermore humanize his character in my mind-he was right;I developed affection and empathy towards my targets, and it became a problem.
I watched the sun rise and shine above my head with every passing hour its light reflected and shone stronger. It was weird. The heat wave didn't bother me anyway. I saw the ground darken in front of me as I recognized someone's shadow blocked the sun. Time surely had passed faster than I anticipated. Her feet were small, unlike dilucs ash dark boots.
I looked up and noticed her mint green hair, the sweet smile, and her warm, amber eyes.
It seemed to me as though she'd offer me advice or a suggestion in the next moment, but what I didn't expect was her reaching out with her hands to help me up.
As she reached out, I embraced her help with a smile I couldn't hide in time. She was sweet and well-mannered.
"I need to go into the forest, I wanted to ask you as well to come and-Venti. He's quite experienced, and neither Mister Albedo nor Diluc had enough time to spare, unfortunately." Her smile came across as one she'd force on to avoid any awkward long stretched situations, but as I looked at her, long and quite intense, I found myself in that awkward position. I shook my thoughts out and took a deep breath in.
It ought to wreck with her awkwardness if I didn't let a word slip of my tongue. She inhaled sharp, and her eyes narrowed when she recognized my hesitation.
If I were to decline now, she would know there is something up. She was close to Albedo-if he knows about it, it's not impossible for her to know. Indeed, it is an actual outcome I'd anticipate.
I set up a smile that would play into their perfect picture of what our relationship appeared to be. The only constant part I could play again and again.
I'd take turns and steal opportunities until I'd grow old, wrinkled, and gray.
I can't be a normal person.
I looked at Sucrose and nodded. I saw her exhale. What was going through her head? Maybe she had managed to gain protection. Perhaps it was that she worried she'd struggle in a social situation or that she lacked the navigation to find the rights path to choose, maybe all that she needed was a guide who'd keep her from the false decisions.
One slip-up meant a lifetime of consequences.
I can not tell my friends how hard it felt to find out. Someone important hid something from me.
He never trusted me enough, I failed my objective and my goal. I was supposed to persuade him into trusting me, figure it out, and to hand him over whether it was on his terms or not, surrendering didn't matter in the eye of public safety the order would say.
Instead, I grew an attachment and felt my heart shatter when I heard those words of confirmation he gave me, and he's still on free foot.
I can't discuss all these things that are in my head, without sounding insane.
I looked back at Sucrose, "So you're certain that we have to go in the darkest pit of the forest?" I casted her a sideway look, and she gulped and nodded. A small pause followed in which she corrected her glasses.
She held her hands tightly interlaced in each other, "I- how did you know it was going to be the darkest corner?" Her voice so timid, it surprised me the vocals weren't carried away by the wind to make them inaudible.
I winked at her with a smirk, "Just a hunch I happened to have," I laughed. We continued to walk for a while, and as it went on, we continued this conversation with various topics. My thoughts drifted along with her pace, and we discussed her struggle in getting accessible herbs, which happened to be in the darkest part of the forest.
Sucrose stopped talking, and her stares in the distance weren't able to be missed. It was my call to turn to my right to gaze at the figure. The dark-haired person was Venti. I pursed my lips and smiled, the falsest I've ever worn up to this point.
"Oh, hi," I greeted him under the deception of Sucrose, that both of us stood on each other's good side. It was a matter of the right questions, a gamble whether or not he'd bite.
Unlike the smile I wore, there wasn't an ounce of the same pettiness that I wanted to release towards him. I had to reign my personal feelings and get this job done. That was all that mattered.
He didn't show any evident surprise through his facial expressions when he had noticed my greeting.
"Hi, Y/n," he threw back in another polite sounding tone. This wasn't noticed by Sucrose, but I knew that my tone had enough internal conflict on the deeper levels just like his. The low-end was simple to recognize, his eyes, the insight of the world. There was a subtle shadow when he turned towards me.
"So Sucrose," I began when we walked into the beginning of the forest as a trio. "What are we looking for?" I looked towards her with curiosity laced in my voice. I knew most of her alchemy studies were based on the creation of life—Bio alchemy. It was an interesting enough topic to read into it. Having a specialized and experienced worker of alchemy here helped to understand it, too.
"Oh actually, you see, I have tried to aquire some rarer ingredients from the center of the forest.. It's quite dark, and without help, I won't be able to get far with all the dangers that lure around the corners—as explained already." she fumbled with her fingers. It was a habit she had. I picked up on it long ago since working regularly with people helped to figure out such details. Her nervousness was enough to keep the conversation centered around this point. Instead of having to focus on anything related to Venti, that could've made me slip up with the cover I had.
We ventured deeper and deeper into the forest, from the beginning to beyond the center.
Sucrose began to become less stiff and talked animated about the ingredients she wanted to hunt down. The freedom she gained by having someone this close protect her from danger was an opportunity she swooned over. She thanked us multiple times. This was quite sweet since I appreciated Sucrose a lot, and at the same time, I had to stop her from it since she had showed us her sincerity which could loose its power the more she'd stack those words.
We were on our way to reach the center, after what felt like hours, likely. However, there weren't any major complications like Sucrose described them. That alone was pure luck enough, some would say, but it didn't feel like luck, more like a strange coincidence.
As I watched Venti and Sucrose collect the herbs, I realized. If I were ever to be honest with Sucrose, for example, I'd be done.
I can't share all that I have seen, or I'll suffer from the consequences.
A rattling bush, not from Sucroses and Venti's perspective.
That's when I heard noises.
Definitely not my two travel companions.
I turned around with a swift kick in the dust. There were treasure hoarders, and they attacked us. The punches they threw were predictable. It wasn't hard to dodge and kick them in the fibula, to which they sank together, shivering. The pained look drew a smile on my face.
All these things I couldn't do, and yet there I was, fighting better than expressing any of the secrets surging inside me. I was fighting off the urge with punches I'd throw and stabs I've delivered into their lungs instead of telling a soul about my darkest thoughts.
"Y/n—" Venti called and shot an arrow right beside my ear. When I looked past the flying arrow, I saw a throat bleeding bright crimson. I yelped. That could've been the end.
Quiet and glowing..?
I ducked when I sensed another treasure hoarder come for my head. This time, another arrow tore through their chest. I delivered a swift kick to assure their lost balance.
However, I landed on the ground.
"Are you alright?" Venti came up to me and reached out for my hand to help me up. I sighed and nodded.
"That gave me quite the scare." I muttered.
"Hey, uh, can we talk? Like maybe, later? I want to apologize." he muttered. If he wanted to apologize, maybe there was a chance to succeed? A thin one at that, but one single thread hadn't stopped me from trying.
"Uh.. alright?" I avoided his gaze as he helped me up. His eyes didn't meet mine afterward either.
Suddenly, I heard a thump. A body fell to the ground, and it wasn't mine. The blood grew thicker and spread over the ground. He got shot in the back.
All I could do was stand there motionless, paralyzed.
Another voice caught me off guard, "Get him out of here." a yaksha. "This place isn't safe."
"I know," I sighed. Sucrose ran over to Venti and tried to make out how to tend his injuries with some kind of first aid.
"It's foolish to look for your death here with their guidance." he added before he disappeared as fast as he appeared.
——✧･ﾟ: ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆
Share your thoughts and favourite moments if you'd like.
Mine with writing this chapter was Sucrose and Y/n's interaction and inner conflict.
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