I stood still, rooted in place.

Venti just left, and I, on the other side, was rooted in place. Did I leave his office? No, absolutely not.

Did I begin snooping around in it when it shouldn't be my business? Yes.

Did I find anything? No. To my bad luck, I didn't find anything out of the ordinary. Like I mentioned, if I did give up, it would be all for the waste.

The anticipation build up, a pickling feeling on my skin, itching to escape. When I opened the drawer, my shoulders slumped. My eyes lowered, and I sighed. No papers. Just a single, mere drawing. One was incredibly neat, the lines were precise and not too thick, and the pen was applied with just enough pressure.

I took the portrait in one hand and tilted my head. I felt myself staring at that work. It was weird how natural it looked, almost like a real image caught in the moment.

Venti had another picture, another portrait he drew. My mouth was left to gap. He sketched out-no he finished an entire portrait, which was so breathtaking, I forgot how to, literally. The overwhelming sensation of my heartbeat that throbbed, with the blood reaching my cheeks for certain, it was hard not to become flustered. Even for me, who didn't easily take in flattery-it was difficult to stay focused-not before him.

It was not once difficult for me before, but as soon as things wrapped around with him and me, I was left speechless.

"I like you," he said, "I really like you." This person had flushed cheeks all over and lowered his head.

"Oh.." was all I replied, "thank you for your honesty." My brain went on some sort of basic control function that moment. I patted him on the shoulder and formed a thin lined smile. It was itching my skin, the way I reacted. The look I gave the boy made him go pale. He didn't seem to cherish that reaction a lot. It was humiliating to be rejected by the girl who gave you a bloody nose beforehand even more.

That same day, I went into Lisa's library. It was a second nature by now. My habit had grown stronger over the past months I stayed here. Everything was scary and weird, and I disliked it.

Lisa or the purple teacher, how a long gone friend once said was warm. She was somewhat very bright in intelligence, too! I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her solve all these equations with weird numbers, runes, and letters. I would watch her secretly, but later when she found me that day she showed me how to. I didn't understand a single word, and she had laughed.

I trailed Lisa over to her library when she was just about to return from lunch. She chuckled as soon as I came closer. "Come on, Y/n. Good try, though." she turned around and caught my wrist that was about to tap her shoulder. "What is it, dear?" she called out.

I didn't know how to ask. How to say it, I sighed. "Some guy said he liked me." I explained.

She chuckled, "Oh dear." Perhaps that was mocking.

"What does that mean?" I asked without hesitation while facing her. Her green eyes widened, and she lowered them to me and held my shoulders.

Her tone became more hushed. Too quiet and playing around with silliness for the sake of it. She played and plugged my strings like a lyre. "When a person says they like you, they want to be close to you." she said.

"That's it?" I asked, I was like 13 or 14 back then and incredibly naïve. She shook her head and whispered something in my ears that filled my face with a long-lasting, flustered feeling. My eyes went wide while my mouth went agap.

"Ew!" I exclaimed, "that's disgusting."

"You'll like it with time, with the right person."

"No!" I exclaimed, shaking my head absolutely not, "is that what you do with Jean?" I asked that evening, and it was incredibly stupid.

She casted me a raised eyebrow.

I expected a lowsy glare that time. She had such a soft core once in and outside.

"Whether I kissed her or not is none of your business young lady," she laughed, "but no, not yet, at least."

"What's love then?"

Yeah, what was love, actually? No one ever explained that to me, and yet I feared in my most wrenched nights under the clear nights filled with a horrific unclear darkness whether or not I could be growing soft with Venti. I had been before when apologizing, perhaps. Although that was an important step to keep the mission going.

I wasn't sure to this day if love only made you flustered and giddy or if it was more, but I was most certain that you'd care about that person, that you'd become vulnerable and breakable. If no one could tell, I wasn't hyper independent nor hypo independent.

That they were your soft spot, your weak spot.

And that was the problem, I became weak in that exact moment.

Anyhow, I left the office with my senses off guard, I was too deeply immersed into my own mind.

--✧･ﾟ: ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆
RAINEE's NOTE; What the fuck it's nearly Saturday, but at least it's still Friday for me. So I'm not past the update schedule.

YAHOO

Also I've been working on a Levi x reader and Armin x reader (obviously they're separate x readers) but I'm having a lot of fun so far, I'd be grateful if it comes to some of you checking them out once they're out.

So yes, I'll see y'all in the next chapter (I'm struggling to come up with titles, and my AD(H)D is coming through in struggling to commit to schedule. 😭)

(I also wanna add that it is 23:44pm so technically, I'm still uploading before Saturday)