Listen to the video on top just for fun unless you already playing music Or you just don't like the music but I find it calming so yeah🥰

The next morning was school, and the clock read 5:43. I groaned as I dragged myself out of bed, my body heavy with exhaustion and a sense of dread. As I shuffled into the bathroom, the cold tiles sent a shiver through me, a stark contrast to the warmth of my bed. I reluctantly looked into the mirror, and my heart sank at the reflection staring back at me. The face that used to glow with youthful innocence now looked tired and worn. I had gained a few pounds, and the extra weight seemed to cling to me like a reminder of my failures. My eyes traveled down to my wrists, and I saw the faint scars from last year, pale but still visible. Each one is a painful memory of a time when everything felt like it was falling apart.

Last year was an utter disaster. I had broken up with Jake because he cheated on me, and from that moment, my life spiraled out of control. I remember the day I found out; the betrayal cut deep, leaving a wound that never fully healed. In my anguish, I turned to drugs and self-harm, trying to numb the pain and silence the memories. Every time something reminded me of Jake, I would fall back into that dark place, feeling like I was drowning in sorrow and regret.

Then Gavin came into my life. He seemed like the most majestic person in the world—or at least, I thought he was. He had this way of making me feel special, like I was the only beautiful girl in existence. For a while, it felt like he had healed me. I loved him so much that I started to believe in happiness again. But then, he cheated on me too. The betrayal shattered me. It felt like the universe was playing some cruel joke, showing me a glimpse of hope only to snatch it away. Now, I don't think I can trust any man. It's not like I chose to distrust boys; it just... happened. I didn't wake up one day and decide that love was too painful to risk. But after being hurt so deeply, how could I not fear it?

I snapped out of my trance and forced myself into the shower. The water was scalding, but I didn't care. I hoped the heat would wash away the sadness clinging to my skin. As the water cascaded over me, those thoughts kept repeating themselves, a never-ending loop of heartache and disillusionment. I tried to conclude this whole "I don't trust men" thing, but the answers were as elusive as ever. The steam filled the bathroom, fogging up the mirror, but it couldn't obscure the truth of my feelings.

After my shower, I looked at myself one last time, hating what I saw. The extra weight, the scars, the hollow eyes—they all seemed to mock me. I dried my hair and went to get dressed. When I opened my closet, my heart sank further. All my favorite clothes were in the laundry, leaving behind only items that were either too small or inappropriate for school. The only things I could find were a brown baby tee and a pair of jeans. The tee was tight, accentuating the very parts of my body I was most insecure about, but I had no other choice. I felt exposed and vulnerable, like I was wearing a sign that read "Look at my flaws."

As I got dressed, the sadness enveloped me like a thick fog. I thought about how much I would give to take away this fear of being loved, to be able to trust without the shadow of betrayal hanging over me. But that seemed impossible now. The weight of my experiences pressed down on me, making it hard to breathe. I finished getting ready, feeling a sense of dread about facing another day at school. The world outside my bedroom door felt hostile and unforgiving, and I didn't know how much longer I could keep pretending to be okay

And so, with a heavy heart and a mind filled with sorrow, I braced myself for the day ahead, hoping to find a sliver of strength to carry me through.

(This girl's body is absolutely beautiful, I just liked the outfit and wanted to incorporate it in here with a bit of spice😂)

I decided that today was not a makeup day

I walked downstairs to the welcoming aroma of freshly cooked pancakes and sizzling bacon, a comforting sight that usually brightened my mornings. "Oh hey sweetie, I made you breakfast," my mom greeted me cheerfully, placing the plate on the table beside me.

"Um, hi Mom," I mumbled, unable to meet her gaze, suddenly feeling a knot tighten in my stomach. "No thanks, I'm not that hungry," I added quietly, my fingers nervously tracing patterns on the table.

Dylan, my older brother, furrowed his brows in concern, his usual easygoing demeanor clouded with confusion. It wasn't like me to skip meals, and I could sense his unspoken worry. Ignoring his questioning gaze, I quickly asked him to drive me to school, hoping to avoid any further scrutiny.

As we got into the car, Dylan couldn't hold back. "Why did you not eat breakfast?" he asked, his voice tinged with genuine concern. "I already told you, I'm not hungry," I replied, my agitation seeping into my tone. "Okay fine, jeez, man, relax," he responded, focusing on the road ahead despite my glare.

The car ride was filled with a tense silence, the air thick with unspoken questions and unease. I wrestled with my thoughts, trying to push aside the feelings that threatened to overwhelm me. Dylan's concern was palpable, but I wasn't ready to confront the turmoil brewing within me.

(Guys btw I'm changing Carla to Sway and Jordan to Dylan again because it was useless changing their names anyway😂)

As I walked down the hallway, a sense of unease settled over me like a heavy fog. It seemed as though every passing glance was a judgment, scrutinizing me from head to toe. Instinctively, I hugged my arms around my tummy, trying to shield myself from the invisible eyes that bore into my skin. Each step echoed with a weight I couldn't shake off, and with every breath, the knot in my chest tightened a little more. Hollow and empty, I felt as if someone had siphoned off my spirit unnoticed, leaving behind a shell of insecurity.

Gavin cheating on me weighed heavily on my mind, amplifying every self-doubt I harbored. Was it my appearance? Did I not measure up in some way? These thoughts gnawed at my self-esteem, dredging up old wounds and insecurities that I thought I had overcome. The disdain I felt for myself in that moment was palpable, a bitter taste that soured my every thought.

Finally reaching my locker, I mechanically retrieved my books, my movements numb and detached. The sanctuary of chemistry class beckoned, promising a brief respite from the turmoil outside. Yet, as I settled into my usual spot, the absence of Malachi, despite our recent reconciliation, felt like a gaping hole beside me. His usual presence was a comfort, a familiar anchor in the storm of emotions I wrestled with.

In chemistry class, I slid into my usual seat, expecting to find Malachi beside me as usual. When I realized he wasn't there, a pang of worry unexpectedly gripped me. It was irrational, considering we had just resolved our differences, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. His absence felt unsettling, like a missing piece that disrupted the familiar rhythm of my day.

Lost in my thoughts, a voice interrupted my reverie. "Sorry I'm late, Mr. Larson," a boy's voice broke through, and I turned to see him taking the seat next to me. "Hey princess," he greeted me with a smile that softened his features. Despite my initial annoyance at the nickname, I couldn't help but feel a slight relief that someone familiar was beside me.

"Why do you call me that? I have a name, you know," I replied, the tension in my shoulders easing a little. Being around him brought a sense of comfort and security, as if the world paused its chaos whenever he was near. Yet, I reminded myself not to let my guard down too easily; I couldn't afford to have my heart broken again.

"Would you like me to STOP calling you that?" he teased gently, knowing full well I wouldn't protest. We held each other's gaze for a fleeting moment before I broke eye contact, feeling a strange tension between us. The air around us crackled with unspoken words and unexplored possibilities, leaving me wondering what might have transpired had our gaze lingered a moment longer.

At lunch, the usual chatter among my friends filled the air as we gathered around our table. Ariana's voice broke through the noise, catching my attention. "Oh, um, y/n," she began, drawing my focus. "Yeah?" I responded, curious about her next words.

"Dylan and the rest of the group asked to sit with us. Are you okay with that?" Ariana inquired, concern flickering in her eyes. "Oh, yeah, sure," I replied with a nonchalant nod, trying to mask the knot of unease tightening in my stomach.

As the others dug into their meals, I found myself merely picking at my food, my appetite inexplicably absent. "Hey y/n, are you going to eat?" Sway's voice cut through my reverie, her brows furrowed in concern. "Uh, I'm not that hungry," I murmured, my gaze fixed on the plate in front of me, thoughts swirling.

Soon enough, the boys joined us, their presence breaking the uneasy silence that had settled over our table. Malachi took his seat across from me, beside Ariana who sat diagonally across. Mk settled to my right, Dylan to my left, and the rest of the gang filled in around us. Conversation flowed naturally, plans for the weekend unfolding amidst laughter and excitement. I suggested we go ice skating, and to my delight, everyone agreed.

As we discussed potential sleepover plans afterward, I couldn't shake the feeling of Malachi's eyes on me. It felt as though he was studying me, seeing something I couldn't recognize in myself. His gaze held a mix of admiration and curiosity, painting me as something precious when, in reality, I felt far from it.

The girls and I were about to sit down in our usual spot at English when I made eye contact with Malachi across the room. His intense gaze seemed to pull me in, and before I knew it, I was walking towards him, drawn by an inexplicable force.

"Hey, Mal," I said, trying to inject a note of cheerfulness into my voice. I hoped it didn't sound as forced as it felt.

"New nickname, huh?" he replied, his voice low and smooth, a hint of amusement flickering in his dark eyes. He had a way of making even the simplest words sound enigmatic, and I found myself captivated. I tried to stop smiling, but it was hard not to be affected by his presence.

"Ay, look, they're finally getting along," Sway joked from across the table, her eyes twinkling with mischief. I bit my lip, trying to suppress the grin that threatened to break free. I glanced around, noticing the girls giving each other knowing looks.

Despite my efforts, a small smile escaped, and I could feel Malachi's gaze lingering on me. His beautiful brown eyes were shadowed, like they held secrets he wasn't ready to share. There was a magnetism about him, a sense of mystery that made my heart race.

The teacher was talking about an assignment we are supposed to do, I was acutely aware of Malachi's presence beside me. Every now and then, our elbows would brush, sending tiny electric sparks up my arm. He seemed to move with a quiet confidence, every gesture deliberate and controlled. The air between us seemed charged with unspoken words, an undercurrent of something dark and thrilling.

As we sat there, I couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation. It was as if we were on the brink of something, a new chapter waiting to unfold. And in that moment, surrounded by friends and laughter, I realized that maybe, just maybe, this was the start of something profound and mysterious.

At home

After a long day, I went to my room and changed into a baggy black hoodie and grey sweatpants, seeking the comfort of loose clothing. The soft fabric brushed against my skin as I made my way downstairs, where the familiar glow of the TV illuminated the living room. I plopped down on the couch and resumed watching the rest of Insatiable, hoping to distract myself from the nagging thoughts that had plagued me all day.

The minutes ticked by until my mom's voice pierced through the show's dialogue. "Dinner's ready!" she called from the kitchen. Reluctantly, I turned off the TV and shuffled into the dining room, my appetite nowhere to be found.

As everyone gathered around the table, the clinking of silverware and the murmur of conversation filled the room. I stared at my plate, absently pushing the food around with my fork. Today had been especially rough; I felt like I had gained a lot of weight, and the self-consciousness was eating away at me. Because of this, I hadn't eaten anything all day.

"Hey, Y/N, why haven't you been eating today?" Dylan's voice cut through the chatter, his concern evident as he looked at me with furrowed brows.

I felt a surge of irritation. "It's none of your business, okay?" I snapped, standing up abruptly. The room fell into a heavy silence, the tension palpable as everyone turned to look at me.

With a huff, I scraped my barely-touched food into the trash and stormed off to my room, slamming the door behind me. I threw myself onto my bed, the frustration bubbling over into silent tears. I tried to find solace in sleep, but my empty stomach growled in protest, keeping me awake. The hunger gnawed at me, a constant reminder of the day's struggles, and as the hours dragged on, sleep remained elusive. By morning, I was exhausted, having spent the entire night tossing and turning.

😁Hey guys😁
❤️Sorry I haven't posted parts lately I've just been really lazy so plz forgive me❤️
✨I'm trying to kind of change my writing style so that's why this is way more detailed and depressing✨
😁Bye guys😁