Arina stared at a pile of papers searchingly. She had been sorting through them since morning and was now mulling over how to proceed. Hiruzen at that moment was discussing something quietly with Gai, Asuma and Kurenai, but the girl had long managed to abstract herself from extraneous noise when it had nothing to do with her, and their conversation did not bother her in the least. However, the next moment she twitched lightly: she thought she heard someone say Kakashi's name, but no matter how she listened on, she did not hear anything else like that.

She must have been wishful thinking. Since they returned from that little trip, they haven't talked  anymore. Although Arina still low-key reproached herself for her actions back then, she couldn't bring herself to make the first move and finally talk to him again.

Kakashi too made no more attempts to talk to her, even when they saw each other, and his face once again had that same distant expression that had once startled Arina so much, which did not exactly encourage her to approach him. On the other hand, she hadn't even seen him at all for more than a week already: apparently, he was away on a mission again.

Sighing softly, Arina tried to focus on her work once more.

Hiruzen, after some time, finally dismissed the Jōnins, but asked Guy to stay behind – as Arina already knew, to discuss the upcoming mentoring opportunity.

Before leaving, Kurenai lingered a little, glanced at Arina with a hint of doubt, then looked at Hiruzen, and the latter nodded. Asuma also stopped, looking back at Kurenai, raising an eyebrow questioningly, but noticing her non-verbal exchange with the Hokage, said nothing and left the room.

"Rina, can I have a word with you?" Kurenai addressed the girl.

"Eh? Yeah sure," Arina put down the papers, and they also stepped outside the office so as not to interrupt the conversation between Hiruzen and Guy. "What is it?"

"Kakashi..." Kurenai began.

Arina shivered uncomfortably.

"Kurenai, I'm not..."

"He's at the hospital. Unconscious... I thought you should know about it, after all."

Arina quickly turned pale.

"What happened?"

"Mission gone wrong. Rather, the mission itself was successful, but the price..." Kurenai shook her head.

Arina nervously tugged at her sleeve. Kurenai looked at her as if debating something, but then chose to continue:

"You know that he wanted to leave Konoha?"

"What?" Arina's chest gave an unpleasant lurch: is this why he was away? "How come?"

"I think you should know better..." The girl smiled with a hint of sadness. "He applied for a long-term mission – a contract with some Shugo*. For a year or even longer."

[Author's note: Shugo is the title of a feudal lord who leads a certain region in the domain of the Daimyo (supreme feudal lord).]

"And what was the outcome?" Arina involuntarily remembered that incomprehensible remark: 'if this fighter can protect me at least half as zealously'... "Is... is this where he got hurt?"

"No... as far as I understand, Hiruzen-sama refused after all. But I suspect that after Kakashi's recent stunt he will send him anywhere just to make sure he no longer engages in outright self-harm."

Arina ran her hands through her hair.

"Shit... why... If anyone should leave, it's me..."

"But it's also in your power to make him stay," the dark-haired kunoichi looked at her pointedly.

"I see. Thanks..." Arina said softly, turning away and making it apparent that the conversation was over.

"Aren't you going to him?" Kurenai inquired.

Instead of an answer, Arina glanced at her briefly and looked away guiltily.

☙ ❦ ❧

Kakashi slowly opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling.

Here again... Well, alive at least...

He felt like he had been thrown off a cliff, bound by hands and feet, and then pelted with cobblestones. Nevertheless, after a while, he was able to raise himself slightly on the elbows, courageously not uttering a single sound. From the unnatural stiffness, he realized that he was practically covered in bandages and patches.

Freezing for a moment and waiting for the fog in his eyes to clear, he raised himself higher and just as carefully, trying not to make any sharp movements, looked to the left, where he noticed a bright spot out of the corner of his eye: turned out there was a bouquet of vivid purple flowers on the bedside table. However, he did not have time to be surprised or wonder about who had brought the flowers, because he shifted his gaze lower and instantly forgot to breathe: Arina was sleeping next to him. She was sitting on a chair, but at the same time leaning on his bed and resting her head on the forearms. Apparently, she had been fighting off sleep for a long time – even his movement did not wake her up.

For a while, Kakashi just stared at the girl, not daring to move.

How long had she been here? Looked like Kusuri-sama went soft on her: usually visitors who were not relatives of the patient were allowed to visit only at specially designated hours.

Kakashi sighed and... smiled. He had almost forgotten how to do this lately, and his smile came out somewhat crooked, as if rusty. But, who cares – no one saw it anyway.

Shifting his weight to his right hand with an effort, Kakashi lightly, almost weightlessly, ran the fingers of his left hand over the girl's head, still not fully believing that she was just sleeping next to him... But it was real indeed – he almost moaned at the long-forgotten silky feel of the girl's hair.

Arina finally woke up from this touch. She lifted her head and stared at Kakashi in a somewhat stunned way. Then she roused herself, sprang and hugged him so that he fell back, and she landed on top of him.

"Kakashi!" The girl sobbed.

Kakashi hugged Arina, squeezing as hard as he could, trying to not pay attention to the painful sensations.

"There, there..." he murmured in a hoarse voice, enthusiastically burying himself in the hollow of her shoulder. He could not even dream that he would touch her again – moreover, that he would be touching her like this. He wanted to take off his mask immediately and feel her skin to the fullest. Savour it, revel in it... cover every bit with kisses...

"Do you realize how worried everyone was about you?" Arina almost cried.

"'Everyone' – or you?" Kakashi asked meticulously, distancing himself from thoughts of her naked skin with quite a bit of effort – he had already even managed to lower his mask a little.

"Baka," The girl pulled away and raised herself on her hands, looking down at Kakashi. Her eyes were glistening with tears.

"And yet?.." Kakashi squinted expectantly, lying relaxed on his back. He unable to get up again just yet.

"What do you want to hear? Yes, so was I."

"You do care..." Kakashi quite frankly burst into a blissful smile.

"Of course I do..." Arina got flustered, but the next moment flushed indignantly. "But if you keep smirking like that, I can't vouch for myself!"

She tapped him on the chest with her fist and immediately exclaimed apologetically, simultaneously with Kakashi's gasp.

"I'm just very... happy.." he choked.

"What about? That your suicide attempt failed?"

"Look who's talking... I was only doing my job..."

"Is that what they call it now?" No amount of Arina's feigned anger could hide her concern.

Kakashi closed his eyes for a moment. Despite his terrible condition, he really was utterly happy. For the first time in months, he felt alive again. Truly alive. And if that was the price, then it was worth it. He gathered his strength and raised himself up again, wrapped his arms around the girl and fell back onto the pillow.

Arina, landing almost with her back to him, deftly turned over and clung to him, wrapping her arm around his neck.

Kakashi gnashed his teeth in pain but also turned to his side and pulled the girl closer to him, resting his forehead against hers.

"How did you know I was here?.."

"Doesn't matter..." Arina mumbled.

"Come on?.. Who told you?"

"Kurenai did..." The girl confessed reluctantly.

"So it was her, huh," Kakashi muttered with mild reproach. "She promised not to drag you into this..."

"Wait, so this isn't the first time?" It finally dawned on Arina, and she raised herself on her elbow in horror, easily freeing herself from Kakashi's weak arms.

"So what?.. Come on, come back to me..." Kakashi reached out to her.

Arina lay down again and Kakashi hugged her, closing his eyes. They lay in silence for a while – only the girl was sobbing faintly, involuntarily wondering: how many times had he been lying here like this, all alone?..

Finally, Kakashi asked cautiously:

"Say, if it wasn't for this... would you have continued avoiding me?.."

He immediately regretted that he had brought up this subject again.

Arina seemed to wake up. She freed herself again from his arms and raised herself on the elbow, wiping her eyes, then sat up, lowering her legs off the bed.

"I wasn't the only one who was avoiding..."

Kakashi rolled his eyes slightly: did he really need to remind her why it was like that?

"And besides, it doesn't mean anything..." The girl turned away in embarrassment. She didn't understand why she was lying, but it was as if someone else was occasionally speaking on her behalf.

"For real now?" Kakashi even managed to sit up, hissing involuntarily.

Arina looked back at him anxiously, but immediately turned away again, hiding behind the veil of her hair.

After a brief hesitation, Kakashi gently touched her hair, then pushed it back and tucked it behind her ear so that he could see her face turned sideways. He noted with bitterness that it expressed something very close to remorse. Nevertheless, when after a pause he brushed her cheek lightly with his knuckles, the girl, although squeezing her eyes more tightly, did not pull away, but, on the contrary, leaned a little towards him, like a cuddly kitten. Her eyelashes fluttered. Kakashi could not help but smile.

"Arina... how much longer are you going to deny the obvious?" he asked softly, stroking her.

"I... I'm not..." Arina muttered absently. Then she suddenly jolted, her eyes wide, and jumped up. She blurted out: "I'm really glad you're okay. Please don't do this again..." – It took Kakashi a moment to realise that she referred to the mission.

Turning around, Arina rushed for the exit. Kakashi called softly:

"Arina..."

The girl, who had already taken hold of the door handle, froze and looked back.

"You can fool yourself all you want. But you can't fool me. I won't give up, be sure. I have at least one undeniable advantage: I'm here with you. Unlike him. Think about it, what's the point of continuing to torment yourself if you're very likely never to see each other again?.."

Arina was stunned.

"Thank you for reminding..." she finally answered quietly, turned away and left the room, closing the door behind her. After a few steps, she stopped and pressed her back against the wall, throwing her head back and trying to hold back tears: he was right, of course, but why, why so?..

However, almost immediately she heard footsteps in the nearby corridor, so she was able to pull herself together and continue on her way.

Kakashi, left to himself, once again leaned back on the pillow and slapped the bed with his palm, fisting the fabric of the blanket. He turned his head towards the window and stared at the sky peeking through the branches of the trees.

"The hell you're doing, Hatake?" he muttered wearily.