Dear Diary,

What a day! The daycare visit was... crazy. But nothing like what I expected. We had an interview with this woman who looks like she's never smiled in her life, and would hate being around kids. Marjorie Fitch, I think. And she was saying all sorts of weird stuff, like their daycare is an exclusive club and they've got to keep the wrong kind of kids out. But Daniel knew what to say, bringing up the dead parents card. I don't think she'd care about that, but I guess in the circumstances she could get in trouble if they're the reason I have to drop out of school or something. It's enough of a threat.

Then things got weird. We met another person, the kind of person you'd expect to spend their life looking after kids. Her name's Carlita, and she seemed so supportive. She was taking us on a tour of the place, I'm not sure why. Maybe she's supposed to be checking us out to make sure we're not going to be problematic customers, I don't know. But halfway around, Daniel started feeling queasy and ran to the bathroom, and then suddenly Rosie was there. He says he didn't take the shot or anything, just changed without warning, and that's a big problem.

Rosie was terrified, but Carlita helped to calm her down and get her changed. Lent us some clothes for her too, and looked after her while I went in to sign the last set of papers with Fitch. That was a relief at least, we have somewhere Rosie can go during the day now, so she doesn't have to keep growing up and going to work. Don't know how he's going to explain that to his workmates, but I guess he's got something sorted out.

I told Fitch that Daniel got called away because of a medical emergency, which isn't too far from the truth. She didn't seem to care, once she had the insurance paperwork in her hands to prove that Rosie's care was paid for. Carlita must have suspected something, but she promised not to say anything. I can't really get into her head, but I think maybe she only cares about the kids being happy. Must be nice for everything to be so simple. I was a nervous wreck by the time we got home, but Rosie managed to cheer me up by splashing around while I gave her a bath.

After supper, I thought it would be better to see if we could get Daniel back. I hated having to make that decision by myself, but Daniel hadn't given me any guidance when he didn't expect to be Rosie in the first place. If everything had gone to plan, he would have been turning into Rosie for supper time and then back tomorrow, but in the circumstances I just needed to talk to him. So I gave her the shot, left her room, and waited for my brother to come out. At the same time, I was trying to work out what I would need to say to the doctors if it didn't work.

Daniel came back, just like always. The evening was pretty normal; like it would have been before I even learned I would have a little sister. We left a message for the doctors saying what had happened, and decided that Daniel would stay as Daniel until we heard something different. I could tell he hated the idea. He doesn't want to lose his chance at being a girl. But I can't help worrying – what if this happens again? And what are we going to tell Carlita next time?

I'll have so much to say to Dr Lennox next week, I know that much.

Good night diary, and thanks for listening.

Laura

* * *

Dear Diary,

I spent all day worrying that Daniel was going to turn into Rosie again, but nothing happened. I was on edge all the time, but it turned out there was nothing much to worry about. Daniel spent most of today as himself. Seemed even more stressed than I was, but that's only natural. After getting in each other's way and checking on him every couple of minutes as we did chores, I got a reply to my email to those doctors. We went to the hospital so Daniel could have some blood tests. But all they could say was it's some kind of fluke. Something about the medicine not being fully absorbed, like he didn't do the shot properly and a small dose got trapped under his skin for a while before kicking in. They gave him some more lessons to make sure he's using it right, and said they don't expect it to happen again, but I'm not sure I believe that.

I kept waiting for something strange to happen all day, but everything was... normal. It's almost disappointing, in a way. At least if something had gone weird, I'd know that we weren't going crazy.

Joy's coming over to babysit tomorrow, and after Daniel was so stressed all day I suggested he could change back before bed. Now she's super excited about getting to see her friend again. At least someone's looking forward to something!

I'm heading to bed early. After yesterday's chaos, I need all the sleep I can get. Here's hoping for a less eventful day tomorrow.

Goodnight,

Laura

* * *

"Joy!" Rosie squealed, her little feet pattering across the floor as soon as she heard a knock at the door. Laura couldn't help but smile at her sister's enthusiasm, even as she hurried to catch up.

"Careful, Rosie," Laura called, scooping up her sister before she got to the stairs. "Don't run on the landing, okay? You still need a little help to get downstairs." She hurried down as quickly as she could, squirming toddler in hand, and then set her down before reaching for the door handle.

"Joy!" Rosie squealed again, as the door swung open admitting a cool breeze from outside.

"Hey," Laura spoke at around the same time. "So glad you could come. Rosie's been running around all morning, so excited to see you. You'd think she's–"

"Surprise!" Joy sang out, sweeping Rosie up into a hug, and jerked a thumb over her shoulder to indicate where Ben was standing just behind her. "I brought reinforcements for our playdate!"

Laura felt her heart skip a beat. She had barely spoken to Ben since that awkward encounter at Burger Lord, and she certainly hadn't expected to see him here without any warning.

"Hey," Ben said, smiling a little. "Always glad to help with my favourite little munchkin. And hi Rosie. Have you been good for Laura while I wasn't here to keep an eye on you?"

"Yep!" Rosie answered, and darted forward to hug him as well. She was so happy, and Laura knew that there was no way she could ask him to leave now, even if she hadn't been so eager to spend time with him herself.

"I... uh, yeah," Laura struggled to find her voice. "Of course. Come in, both of you. And let's get the door closed before this little one makes a break for freedom." Rosie laughed at that, but it was hard to know how far she understood what anyone was saying around her.

As they stepped inside, Rosie wriggled out of Joy's arms and toddled over to Ben, arms outstretched. "Up!" she demanded, any trace of shyness forgotten.

"Hey there, little one," Ben chuckled, then lifted her up and spun her around on his shoulders. "Did you miss me too?"

Laura watched the interaction, a mix of emotions swirling in her chest. She was glad to see Rosie so comfortable with Ben, but his presence also brought back all the uncertainty and confusion she'd been trying to push aside. She wished that he hadn't come, but at the same time she was desperate to speak to him again, and to find out what he really thought about her. And regardless of any romantic feelings he didn't reciprocate, it was clear that he was still an amazing babysitter who really cared about Rosie.

Joy seemed oblivious to the tension, and began chattering about her plans for the day.

"Have you guys been having a good time? Any plans for today? I thought we could do some finger painting, maybe build a pillow fort. Oh, and I brought some new books Rosie might like!"

As Joy continued, Laura caught Ben's eye over Rosie's head. He offered a small, hesitant smile, and Laura felt her cheeks warm. She knew they needed to talk, to clear the air, but with Rosie and Joy here she couldn't say any of the things she really wanted to say. As if she would have the courage anyway.

"Sounds great," she managed, although she hadn't been paying attention enough to take in most of the plans. "Why don't you guys get set up in the living room? I'll grab some snacks. And... and there was some stuff in the week that I should probably tell you about, as well."

As she retreated to the kitchen, Laura took a deep breath. This wasn't how she'd expected the day to go, but maybe it was for the best. One way or another, she and Ben needed to figure things out. She'd been putting off talking to him, thinking that they could deal with it later. But she knew that the longer she did that, the harder it would be to invite him over again. It was good to see that he was still happy to help with Rosie; his feelings hadn't changed about that. But she was still on edge, and it took a real effort of will to walk back into the lounge once she had assembled a tray of snacks and drinks.

She set her tray on the coffee table, and lifted down a sippy cup and a bowl of apple slices onto the floor, where Rosie was sitting. She felt that she was starting to get used to what her little sister would be willing to eat now, and that meant she was at least a little better at this babysitting thing than she had been a couple of weeks ago.

"So, Rosie," she began, trying to regain some control of the situation, "what would you like to do first? We could read a story, or maybe do some painting..."

"Fort!" Rosie exclaimed, clapping her hands. "Gotta fort!"

"A pillow fort?" Joy asked. "Guess she heard me talking about it earlier."

"Fort!" Rosie reiterated, and Laura was glad to go along with anything the girl was so excited about.

"Fort it is!" Joy laughed.

"Alright, little architect," Ben said, ruffling Rosie's hair. "Let's see what we can do."

They began gathering supplies from around the house – they had plenty of blankets and pillows, as well as the cushions from the couch. Laura found herself wondering, when she looked in the big closets, whether there was some reason Daniel seemed to have kept every different iteration of childhood bedding as her tastes had changed over the years. It certainly meant there was plenty for Rosie to choose from.

Laura carried as much as she could downstairs, while Joy followed with another bundle in her arms. Ben was in the lounge, clearing anything potentially breakable from the coffee table so that there was a larger space for playing. Laura couldn't help but smile as she watched Rosie start to direct operations with all the authority a toddler could muster.

"No, there!" Rosie insisted, pointing emphatically as Ben tried to position a chair.

"Here?" Ben asked, moving it slightly.

Rosie shook her head vigorously. "No! THERE!" And before Ben could ask for further clarification, Rosie was turning around to give orders to Joy.

Laura bit back a laugh. For all his skill with children, it seemed fort construction wasn't Ben's strong suit. Even draping blankets over the back of the chairs was apparently beyond him, with them slipping out of place almost immediately. Joy, on the other hand, was already draping blankets with expert precision.

"Like this," Joy demonstrated, creating a perfect canopy. "Did we finally find the perfect guy's weak point? Ben can't make a fort that stays standing?"

"I can't make a house of cards either," he said with a shrug. "I'm just not good at balance. But I can move the chairs, with a genius like Rosie to tell me where."

"THERE!" Rosie cut in, pointing again. Everybody laughed, and a few seconds later the chair was finally positioned to her satisfaction, and all the blankets were in place.

"So, Rosie," Joy asked with a smile. "What's the cosiest spot?"

"I'm the queen!" Rosie answered, and made a gesture which must surely have meant something to her.

Laura found herself relaxing a little as the building project continued. They were all having fun, and it was clear that this was something they would be able to do again. She didn't need to worry if anyone had somewhere better to be, or what they really thought about each other. Even if Ben didn't really want her, he was devoted to Rosie; and that was all that Laura really needed at present. Any awkwardness was quickly forgotten as they focused on adapting Rosie's commands into something that actually made sense and wouldn't damage the furniture. Soon, a respectable fort was taking shape in the living room, complete with a "secret" entrance that was really just a gap in the blankets.

"More gaars!" Rosie demanded, disappearing into the fort's interior.

"Does she mean pillows?" Ben hazarded a guess, and moved to pick some up on the other side of the room.

Laura glanced at Rosie's sippy cup lying on its side, noticing it was empty now.

"I'll go refill her juice," she said, picking up the cup. "We don't want a cranky fort-builder on our hands. Can you two handle the queen's engineering demands for a few minutes?"

"I'll help," Joy piped up quickly, following Laura to the kitchen. "I mean, we need to talk, anyway."

As they left the room, Laura could hear Ben asking Rosie if she wanted a drawbridge for her fort, followed by an enthusiastic "Yeah!" She smiled to herself, wondering how that could possibly be achieved.

But as she filled the cup with fresh apple juice, she also knew that she probably wouldn't like the conversation ahead. She didn't know what it would be about, but with Ben here there was one obvious elephant in the room that she didn't think she could avoid much longer.

She turned to face her friend, unsure of where to start but knowing they had a lot to discuss. "So," she said. "Let's talk."