TW! SELF HARM! I'll put a notice where it starts but be careful (remember you are loved and known <3)

Friday- Day 12

Tommy's POV:

When I woke up Aaron was still on my chest, my shirt had smudge mascara on it; I don't care.

Seeing her like that broke me, it hurt so much. The girl that I care for, she's so pure and sweet; and she'd probably kick my ass if I called her pure out loud.

She was curled against me, her face was red and blotchy from crying, I bet her eyes will be red when she wakes up

"Is she ok?" Tubbo whispers, lifting his head, she was asleep with us all piled into the same bed to help comfort her

"She seems like it right now, she's still asleep" I whisper to him, brushing hair out of her face

"I feel terrible, can you imagine" he sighs

"Honestly? No, how could her mother; the woman that should love her most, practically disown her" I run my hands through my hair trying desperately not to yell

"I know, I have half a mind to tell her off" Tubbo said, matching my anger

"Agreed. The second I meet her-" I cut myself off from Aaron lazily putting her head on my lap, I smile at her; she's so sweet

I can feel my stomach develop butterflies-  gross

"She's so amazing, how could her mum not love her" I feel a tear well in my eye, I clear my throat to get rid of it

I look at Tubbo and he's looking at me knowingly, "why don't you just admit that you like her"

"I'm not ready, I want to be 100% sure if my feelings so I don't hurt her" I pause, "she just got out of a relationship less than a month ago" I sigh

"You're right, I'm sorry dude. I know is saying it doesn't make it easy" he gives me a sorrow filled smile

"It's fine, it's her I'm worried for" I twirl her hair in my fingers

"Yeah, imagine her mental health" he chuckles, but it sounds forced

"I didn't even think about that" that's a lie, I have. How does she do it? Balance her family, heart break, online hate, school. Damn, "how does she do it?"

"She's said that she likes to keep busy to not think. I remember her mentioning that's why the trip was at a good time" he sighed

"I just-  I don't want her to hurt anymore Tubs"

"I get it"

I get up to use the bathroom, the lock is broken from when Tubbo locked himself in and we had to break the fucking door

When I get back Aarons is curled into a ball and Tubbo is on his phone

"Wanna go talk to Clay?" I ask Tubbo and, even in her sleep, Aaron seems upset that we're leaving so I grabbed my hoodie and gave it to her

"Why though" Tubbo asked when we go to the hall

"I wanna know where she's gonna be staying" I shrug

"Ohhhh ok" he nods and we go to the living room where Will is eating breakfast and Clay is concentrating on his laptop, probably buying plane tickets for Sunday

"Hey" I say, getting their attention

"Hey, how is she?" Clay asks, it sounds like she's in the fucking hospital

"Asleep" I give a forced smile and sit down, facing Clay and Will, "where's she staying?" I ask them

"I assume with me in Florida, Nick and I were gonna move in anyway" he tells me

"Is she ok with that? Does she even want to be near them?" I ask

"I don't know, I'll ask when she wakes up, why are you so concerned" Clay asks me

"I just want her to be happy"

"You're too good to her" Will says, smiling warmly

"Not really, she deserves the world" I smile, thinking about her smile the day we were driving; how bright it was

"Simp" Tubbo gives a fake cough to cover his name calling

"No Im not! I don't simp" I yell

"Shut up you jack ass" Clay says laughing, "she's sleeping"

The four of us start laughing and making jokes for a few minutes

"What do you lot wanna do today" Tubbo asks

"We could chill and let Aaron chill today or go out if she wants" Clay says

"Do you wanna go ask her?" Wilbur asks looking at me

"She'll probably want to go out, get her mind off of it" Tubbo assumes, looking at us

"I'll go check" I say, "her head will probably be hurting from crying and she may not, but Tubbo could be right" I say, while walking up stairs

I walk into the room and see the girl peacefully sleeping, her head on the hoodie I gave her

"Hey" I whisper, shaking her shoulder

She groans but doesn't get up, I shake her a little more and hold her hand

"Hmm?" She groans, her eyes lifting open

"You awake?" I ask. That was stupid to say. What the fuck Tommy.

"I think so" he chuckles, her throat raspy, she sits up and sits in my lap, her comforter still around her

"Do you wanna go out today or stay in?" I ask

"Out. Not right now" is all she gives me, falling back asleep

"Do you want breakfast?" I ask her

"Carry me down?" She looks up at me, giving me those eyes she knows will make me break

"Of course love" I say and pick her up bridal style. How funny would it be if I dropped her

No. I'm not gonna

I get to the living room, everyone still on the couch

"I though we wanted her opinion, not her" Clay laughs

"I wanted her to eat breakfast and she didn't want to walk"

"Seems like she didn't want to be awake either" Will says

"What do you mean?" I ask

"She's asleep" Tubbo says

"I don't even care at this point" I sit down on the couch and set her next to me, however she almost immediately crawls back into my lap, "she said she wanted to go out today, but later. Maybe for lunch or dinner" I tell the group
***

We were all watching the Avengers End Game, love this movie, when I felt Aaron stir in my lap and groan awake

"Hey, did the movie wake you" I ask

"No" she whispered hoarsely before moving her hair out of her face, "I'm gonna go shower"

"Ok" she goes to stand up, and with out thinking, I grab her arm and pull her into a hug, "good morning dumb ass" I say to her and she laughs

"Morning to you too shit head" she gives another giggle and walks up the stairs to our bathroom

After she leaves Clay and Wilbur look at me weird and are smirking

"Hey, it's about 11 now, do we wanna go out to lunch?" Clay asked the three of us, breaking the silence

"Sure, we'll go get dressed" Tubbo says and the two of us walk upstairs, heading to our room, hearing Clays wheezes and Wills explosive laughter filled the living room

"Thanks" I say to Tubbo, knowing he said for us to get dressed to stop from the teasing

Aaron POV:

That was the best sleep I've had, which is weird because I'm disowned. I should tell Techno that I'm an orphan; nah

The warm water from the shower feels nice, like Tommy's hug

I wonder where we're going for lunch, I'm hungry

I want to stay busy, that's why Falls my favorite season; summer has no school so I'm not busy, winter in the south sucks ass, and Spring makes me sneeze to much.

I'm thinking quite calm for all of this happening, I blame the fact that I've never been close to my family anyway

I hope Nick and Clay don't mind me moving in with them, that'd be awkward

Maybe if I was still dating Caleb I wouldn't have to worry about this, we were planning on moving in together anyways

Maybe I should text him

No

That's a dumb idea.

I'm hungry
***

"Hey, what're we eating" I ask Will when I get down stairs after getting dressed, I got dressed in my favorite pair of jeans with my favorite shirt and Tommy's hoodie round my waist

I'm really trying to be happy right now

"Whatever you want, I was looking at this nice diner" he said, giving me a skeptical look

"Ok" I say, smiling brightly and skipping to my room, Tommy and Tubbo aren't in there; they're doing school work in the game room

I look in the mirror and smile, that looks fake, I smile again, that one looked good, the smiles not reaching your eyes. I smile again and again until it looks believable, until I believe it

This sounds like some main character shit, but it works

"Hey, what're you doing?" Clay asked, his keys in his hand

"Fixing my hair" I say to him, keeping a smile on my face

"Ok... wanna go to the gas station real quick?" He jingles his keys

"Sure" I reply and grab my converse and my wallet

We go downstairs and he's quite, anyone can tell he wants to say something

"You ok?" He asks

"As good as I can be" I say not looking at him and getting in the car

"You know you don't have to-" he starts

"I'm trying to be okay right now, just for a while I don't want to feel, let me be" I cut him off and start playing Bedroom Community by Glass Beach on the aux

He nods with purses lips and starts driving, maybe I snapped to harshly but it's true, blocking out the hurt from my mom is making me hyper, bold. I should do something bold

We get to the gas station and I walk in and go to the monsters, there's a boy around my age getting one. Honestly he looks like a complete ass hole

Be bold, don't be a pussy

"That's a good flavor" I tell the brunette, gesturing to the white monster in his hand

"I know, I'm Aiden" he says to me

"I'm Aaron" I smile and look at the options, "you from around here? You don't have an accent" I ask him

"I could say the same to you, I'm from America; I'm visiting family" he shrugs, "you?" He asks me

"From America as well, Florida; visiting friends" I shrug and lean against the fridge full of drinks

Be bold, stop being a Bitch

"Can I have your number" I blurted out, and he smirks as if says that he expected this

"Of course Doll" he said winking and scribbled out a number on a piece of paper

Doll. I hate that.

I grab a drink and go to checkout with Clay, Aiden behind us in the line, when we pay I go towards the exit and make eye contact with Aiden and throwing the paper with his number away, winking at him

You're an a- hole Aaron, you know that?

Oh well I guess, he seemed like a douche

"What was that" Clay laughed at my antics

"Felt like doing something different" I shrugged  and told him about what happened

Of course as soon as we got home Clay told the other three boys

"...and then she winked at him and threw away the paper" he said and the boys started laughing, Will giving me a high five

"That sounds like Aaron" Tubbo laughed

Tommy had mixed emotions about the story, I could see it; at first he was upset and then afterwards he was laughing and fist bumped me

It honestly wasn't that cool, but I felt guilty for asking for his number when he gave me such bad vibes. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings

"Earth to Aaron? You good?" Tubbo said, waving his hand in front of my face

"Huh? Yeah" I wave him off, "what're we doing?" I ask, completely lost on the plans

"We're gonna go get lunch at the diner I was telling you about?" Will says, my memory flooding back

"Yes! Right! Ok, let's go" I say and plaster a smile on my face

"Is she ok?" I heard one of the boys ask Clay but I walked outside before I could hear

What is wrong with me? I don't know what to feel right now
***

The day pasted rather quickly, I felt disconnected and empty, but then at other times I felt so full as if I'd burst from emotion at any moment

Of course all the guys were constantly trying to keep the conversation light and happy but there was still underlying tension

In the car Tommy would hold my hand and squeeze lightly when he saw me disconnecting from reality, Tubbo doesn't like touch but he made sure that I was talking and staying awake.

Will and Clay were just making sure I didn't do anything stupid, which was very helpful; wouldn't want to piss off another guy

I felt like I was being babysat.

"Hey Aaron, can we talk?" Clay asked, pulling me into his room, sitting on his bed

"What's up?" I ask, having my fake smile on

"It's ok to talk about it, you don't have to hide-"

"I don't want to talk or think about it" I cut him off

"But-"

"Clay I'm serious" I say again, my voice shaking

"It's not healthy" he said to me

"Fuck off! Like actually? I don't want to deal with it! So fuck the fuck off and leave me alone" I yell and storm out, slamming his door and going to the bathroom before slouching in the corner and crying

I shouldn't have yelled, he's just looking out for me, but I just don't want to believe it.

My mom left me. I don't have parents. It's my dad as well, he doesn't care. They didn't even have the decency to tell me themselves.

Fuck

Why won't they love me, why am I not enough.

!!Tw right here!!

Do it, grab the knife, you've done it before. You'll fuck up your streak

No. I've been clean for 3 months

You're a fuck up

I reach under the sink, where I find a box cutter with a bunch of different tools and shit

People only care if your pain is physical

I roll down my sock, the ghosting marks of slashes on my ankle; people only look at my wrists

The knife is cool against my skin, I press deeper and the sharpened blade cut, my emotions flowing out

No once cares about me, another cut

And another

And another

And another

The cuts go from my ankle to my knee, the blood flowing and my leg going numb.

I bite my lip to stop from sobbing as I feel so much pain. The physical pain, the mental pain.

The door opens, the lock I keep forgetting is broken. Will steps in, his eyes drop to my helplessness on the floor

He quickly closes the door behind him and without a word he bends down and takes the knife from me, pulling me into a hug while I break down and cry into his shoulder

"I'm so sorry" i sob, "I tried, I-"

"Shhh" he says, rocking me

"Why won't they love me" I ask him, pulling away and looking him in the eyes

"They're too closed minded to notice your wonderfulness" he smiles

"I'm sorry" I say, "I didn't know how to cope, I yelled at Clay, I was clean for months" I say. The best person to find me was Wilbur, he's discussed that he's felt like this, but I don't know if he's ever cut

"I get it, the feelings, the emptiness but fullness. Talk to us next time" he says, pulling me up, "let's clean you up"

"Are you gonna tell them?" I ask

"No, but you should. You don't have to discuss the marks; just your feelings" he smiles at me

"What if they get mad?" I ask, what if they hate me and call me useless

"They won't, trust me"
***

That night I talked to Clay, I didn't cry, but I did show him my left leg

"I love you so much, mom and dad can vanish and I wouldn't care. You're worth everything, never hurt yourself again" he gave me hugs and sent me to bed after a while

His word choices are weird, he's probably trying to comfort me without triggering anything. At least he's trying

I'm not gonna tell Tommy and Tubbo about the cutting, I just can't bare to hurt my best friends.

Tommy was in his bed already asleep, Tubbo in his own bed, I crawled into bed with Tommy. He didn't wake, he just cuddled and kissed my cheek

I drifted off into a dreamless sleep and though that tomorrow would be better.

A/N: was it to dramatic? Honestly I would feel like this, having family issues, but I have a lot of others things than just this

Once again don't think that this is really how Dreams family is, I'm trying to add more things than just the fan fiction of it

Word count- 2897