It was not until I'd gone online to book my plane ticket that it dawned on me something was off. According to the Internet, the only flight to leave from the continental United States to Bermuda East occurred once a month out of Philadelphia.

"Could I take a flight to the main Bermuda airport and then travel to Bermuda East from there via car or taxi?" I wrote in an email that I immediately shot off to my HR contact in the Bermuda East Governor's Office, before heading to bed and an uneasy sleep full of hurricanes and death.

The next morning, as I lay stretched across my mattress and lazily flicked through the morning news shows on the television, I reached for my phone and was surprised to see a reply already waiting for me in my inbox, and early on a Sunday morning no less. That alone made me wonder whether it were another sign this new job might not be the best match for me. I longed for less in my life, not more. Less noise, less urgency, less pressure ... less everything. And Chief Communications Officer for the Bermuda East Governor's Office sounded like just that kind of ticket, one that would take me away from the madness of my current life and deposit me in a sleepy, self-contained island backwater. Who did Bermuda East need to communicate about itself to anyway?

I tapped open the email with my thumb, and that's when the confusion really had a chance to peer around, choose a comfy seat, and settle in for the long haul.

My Dear Miss Genevieve,

Regretfully there is at this time no reliable mode of transport between Bermuda and Bermuda East. At one point we did indeed have a regular water taxi service between the two islands, but that has been decommissioned for various and unavoidable reasons. At this time the only way to arrive at Bermuda East is a flight that leaves the first Saturday of every calendar month via our extremely reliable (and quite comfortable I might add) state carrier Bermuda East Airlines.

I trust this has answered your question satisfactorily, but do let me know if I can be of further service.

Very truly yours,

Lester Augustinos Gallus III
Chief Administrative Officer
Office of the Governor
Bermuda East
"Ardet nec consumitir"

It was the term "state carrier" that alarmed me the most, and I quickly pulled up the Bermuda East Government website, which, now that I thought about it, I had not been as thorough as I could have been in exploring when the headhunter sent me the url. I got an "internal error" message this time when I clicked on it, so next I googled "Bermuda East" and the only two relevant sites were the same government one and another for Bermuda East Airlines, billed as "the only state carrier serving Bermuda East." I clicked around the site but could discover nothing more than a sleek photo of a plane with the words "Bermuda East" painted on its side and capped off with the cartoon figure of a startled purple frog. I recalled seeing the same frog logo decorating the Bermuda East Government website as well. From my reading I knew Bermuda—Bermuda Proper? Perhaps the Bermuda mainland? I wondered now—to be famed for its whistling frogs, so this momentarily reassured me. Nevertheless, I fired off another email, this time to the headhunter, demanding an explanation and some kind of reassurance.

"ASAP," I added helpfully.

Then I let my breath out and prepared to do that which I am least suited for in life. I waited. Once again I did not have to wait for long, however, as my recruiter immediately replied to my message, assuring me that Bermuda East was a "wonderful place, really wonderful, and this job is definitely legitimate as I have placed others with the Governor's Office in the past. I can put you in touch with one of them if you like who is there right now."

"No, that's fine," I replied, unwilling to call her bluff. Besides, it wasn't like I really had a choice in the matter. Whatever Bermuda East was, I was headed there on the next flight out. 

***

I had hoped to catch an aerial view of Bermuda East—and the more well-known island of Bermuda as we flew over it—but the flight took off from the Philly airport right as the sun was setting into dusk, so my journey over the Atlantic happened in the pitch black of a moonless night. It was disorienting to look out my cabin window and see nothing but the deepest of shadows, unlit by the sheen of water below or the sparkle of stars above, for a thick ceiling of cloud must have blocked off all the twinkling, roaming lights of our modern night sky. Even in the deserts of Iraq and Afghanistan I could lay on my back and count the satellites and planets and faraway stars, although sometimes they tricked me and morphed into the steady trail of a Chinook or a drone.

I was disappointed by the blankness of my view, especially since I had been fixated by a photo of bright turquoise seas that graced the cover of my Bermuda travel guide. (I take this moment to reassure you that my references and comparisons to an imagined Bermuda will soon come to an end, mostly because I never did make it there, and it remains as mythic to me today as it did then, a far-off place of fantasy and promise.) The seas of Bermuda East, I would soon discover, are a thick soupy green that often makes me think of mashed peas, especially on days when the clouds hang low and dark. Not an ugly color, necessarily, although it was one that tormented me during the lean months when rations were scarce and the farmers had fled to their mountain hideouts, leaving behind their crops to wither and die.

As I reclined my seat, pulled down my window's shade, and closed my eyes for a snooze on that airplane hurtling toward my mysterious new home, I promised myself a good look the next time I flew" back West," as the Bermuda Easters call it. I had a round trip ticket after all, and while I didn't have much reason to use it, I figured it would happen eventually, as that's what expats did. They returned home for brief spells, if only to be reminded of why they had left in the first place.

I would never get to use that round trip ticket, however, since not long after my arrival the Bermuda East Airline company canceled all flights and went permanently defunct. Jonah swears it had nothing to do with a nefarious plot to keep me "on island," and I believe him, although I know the relief he and the others felt at my arrival, and their concern when I appeared less than thrilled with my new situation, especially as it became increasingly clear what it was I had idiotically signed up for.

Thankfully, I have never excelled at guessing the future, and I was able to sleep undisturbed until we touched down, and I woke up fresh and ready for this new world.