AMORA POV

'What? Is this that weird?' Jimin teased me as I couldn't stop looking at him

'Not really, just... surprising. I don't know. I guess I simply didn't see this happening.' I admit, looking down at my plate

I was ecstatic that he wanted us to have a date, I just never thought it would happen. This entire situation is complicated, so I said goodbye to having anything with him outside of my place. Or anything in general besides sex. Although I want so much more.

'Wanna know something?' He motions for me to lean closer, so I did as he asked, and then he spoke really quietly, 'I am more surprised than you, so you need to be confident for both of us cause I'm kind of shitting my pants here.'

I had to put down my knife and fork beause this idiot made me laugh too much, obvisouly enjoying his little joke as he's laughing along.

'There you go. There is no need to be scared. It's just me.' He put his hand on mine, gently caressing my hand

'I know it's you. That's why I'm so nervous.'

'That's more than okay, feeling nervous. As long as it's not the bad kind.' He keeps smiling at me, but somehow looks more nervous than me

'What about you then? Good or bad nervous?'

He gulped a little, but quickly smiled more, squeezing my hand a little. 'The best kind of nervous.'

'Hmm.' I don't really believe that. His fingers are shaking a bit. Not enough to notice when you look, but definitely enough to feel when he's holding my hand. 'You know, you shouldn't force yourself if you're not ready or if you're simply scared. It's okay to not want these things. I told you to take your time.'

'I want to. I just... I haven't done this in a while.' He muttered the last part, retracting his hand away

'Makes two of us.' I smile at him, trying to relax him a bit

'How come?' I suppose this peeked his interest a bit, and it's not like I have anything to hide

'No one worth my time and effort. Most of the guys my age are absolute, horny idiots. And there really hasn't been anyone that I wanted.'

'Neither am I.' He couldn't even look at me as he mumbled it to himself

'Jimin-'

'Please, don't.' He cut in quickly, but kept his voice all soft and gentle. 'I know I have no right to say this after just asking you the same, but I don't wanna talk about-'

'I wasn't gonna ask about your ex. I think our first date is awkward enough without her in the story.' I chuckled, trying to joke a bit. 'I was going to tell you that you are worth it. All of it. And I would like to know about your past, but I'm gonna let you tell me that on your own. When you're ready.'

'And if I never wanna talk about it?' He gulped

'Then that's okay, too. I'm never going to force you into anything.' I hate that I'm lying to myself. I need to know. I will have to know at some point what happened. What to expect. What to avoid. What not to do so he doesn't get hurt. But I won't do that tonight. It's not time for that. 'But... if you could... Look only at me. I want you to see me the same way I see you.'

'That's easy.' He smiled in a way that made me feel so much relief. 'I don't see anyone else but you.'

'Then we can work on that.' I smile back at him, trying to keep my heart in my chest. I didn't think he's say something like that.

'Gladly. Maybe we start with getting to know each other?'

'Okay. First question. Besides the... obvious... anything else I should avoid asking about?' I am not into making it awkward or pissing him off

'No. You can ask me anything. If no one else, I can be open with you.'

In these kinds of moments, that cold, glaring Jimin seems like a distant memory. He is not rude or assy or aggressive. He is kind. Thoughtful. Obviously very hurt by his past. Probably why he is so closed up. But, that Jimin is not here with me at this hery moment. This one is smiling and is trying to be open. Although one wrong question and the old him could be back.

'Thank you for trying, Jimin. Truly.'

'Go on. Ask away.' He leaned on his hand and was gazing at me with a small smile, looking almost proud that he's opening up a bit. So damn cute...

'You write songs. Is that something you wanted to do or..?'

'Not at all. I was actually a dancer back in the day.'

'A dancer?' Did not see that coming

'Yes. My brother, he was one too, and I always looked up to him. I got into an art school and graduated in his memory, but after that, I left it behind completely.' The little smile he had on his face was gone, and even his voice was a bit sad

'What happened?' I might have blurted that one out, but he still answered

'A car crash. He went on a trip with a group of friends, and on their way back home, a lorry cut the corner too much and ran into them, running them off the road and into a pit. Out of 4 of them, he was the only one who died. The other 3 survived, but one of them is bound to a wheelchair for life, and the other two were in ICU for over a month after it.'

'Oh my god...' I covered my mouth that dropped open in shock, whispering the words to myself. 'I'm so sorry, Jimin. I shouldn't have asked.'

'It's okay. Really. It's been 10 years since that happened, so I can talk about it normally. And as years passed, I realized that it's better than he didn't survive, as awful as it sounds. He had so many injuries and broken bones that he wouldn't even be able to breathe on his own. He would have spent his life bound to bed with an oxygen tank attached to him. He would have been a plant. If I ended up like that, I'd beg to be killed.'

The way he spoke about all of this, his voice not wavering for even a moment, it's clear he's been thinking about this for god knows how long. And as awful as it is, I must agree.

'Do you miss him?'

'Course I do.' He smiled a little. 'We used to fight 15 times a day over the dumbest shit cause I was the most annoying kid you could imagine.' That one made me laugh a little. 'And as much as I annoyed him, he never failed to include me in his plans, even taking me on trips and such. He was the best brother ever. He taught me how to dance and was convincing me to pursue it, telling me I'm way better than him. If not for his wishes, I never would have gotten that diploma.'

'I don't know what he was like or what you were like when you were younger, but I'm sure he would be proud of you.'

'He would beat my ass, actually.' He scoffs. 'There's not a thing for him to be proud of. I've done nothing but destroy myself for a while now. He would be pissed.' His eyes turned a bit red, kind of like he's holding back tears.

'It's never too late to start back up. Reset.'

He looked at me, and it was clear he's broken in more ways than one. 'It's easier said than done.'

'First step is wanting to get better.' I smile. 'And if I can, I'm here to help you. I want to see you happy and smiling.'

'How old are you again?' He chuckles

'Depends who you ask. If you ask Yoongi, I'm about 13.'

He finally laughed, hanging his head a little. 'The way he always talked about you, we were all convinced you're a kid.'

'What do you mean?'

'He always told us about his little sister and the crazy stuff she does. Mostly about how annoying she is, but even then, he would be smiling about it. And he kept saying how no guy is allowed near you or he'd kill them because you're too young. Apparently, when you start dating, he needs to approve. We honestly thought you were about 12.' He laughs

'He did almost skin alive my prom date.' I sigh. 'This is what I had to put up with my entire life. It's like I have two fathers.'

He found this funny and started laughing. 'Then I don't even wanna imagine what he'd do to me. I'm probably the last person he would want you with.'

'Why do you keep saying that?'

'I have so many issues that Jesus wouldn't be able to solve them. I can't even take care of myself. How could I ever take care of you?'

'I don't need you to take care of me. I can do that. No matter what Yoongi says, I am not a child.'

'That is more than clear.' He reached over the table, gently tucking away a strand of my hair behind my ear, grazing my cheek on purpose. 'You are a stunning, mature woman. There's nothing childlike about you. I'm possibly a way bigger child than you are.'

That sad smile again...
I placed my hand on his, pressing it gently to my cheek. 'Then maybe you can let me take care of you instead.'

'I don't want you to that.' He pulled away, pulling his hand back

'What do you want from me then?' I kept my voice low and soft, not wanting it to sound like an attack. I'm just genuinely curious.

'I... I don't know. I just want you.'

'Okay.' I smile. 'You have me. We can start there.'