Yes, get on with it, is what you're thinking.

Get to the part where you kill people, try and explain that away.

Get to the part where you murder people in cold blood and torture them to insanity.

Well, dear reader, I'm getting there.

I promise.

******************

Seventh Year.

We were all sitting around James' kitchen counter, tearing open our shopping lists from Hogwarts.

"Just the usual." I announced. "Standard book of spells, NEWTS potions, huh, Advanced Astronomy by Corelia Vanderpough, sounds like a stuck up prat. Moony, let me see your badge, I want to see how shiny it is. I bet it's really shiny."

"I didn't get one."

We all turned towards him. "What?"

"Guys, it's not that big of a deal. Professor Dumbledore probably saw all the pranks we were playing and gave it to somebody more responsi-"

"Hey, guys," Prongs started, but we waved him off, searching through Moony's letter, trying to find his badge.

"Guys!"

We turned towards him. "What?" Padfoot asked. "Can't you see we're solving a mystery here?"

He held up a badge. "I think I've already solved it," He said cockily, smirking.

Moony breathed a sigh of relief and reached out for it.

"Jeez Prongs," I laughed. "Why'd you steal it? Scared poor Remus half to death!"

"What?" James raised an eyebrow, smirk falling off his face. "I didn't steal it. It's mine." He grinned again. "Look!"

In tiny print on the back was written, James Potter.

"What?" we all screeched. This was impossible! James Potter, the biggest prat ever, huge troublemaker... had gotten head boy????

"Hey, don't worry, I won't take any points off you guys... or maybe a will..." He smirked slyly, and we all laughed.

Moony's laugh sounded a bit forced. He sat stiffly, hands in his lap.

"Hey guys, let's go get some lunch, I'm starving!" Padfoot said, grinning wildly.

They all traipsed off into the Potter Kitchen... Except me and Moony.

"Moony, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing." He looked anywhere but my eyes.

"Your first mistake- avoiding eye contact." I laughed.

"What was my mistake?" He burst out. "Why aren't I head boy? What head boy qualities does James Potter have that I don't? He's a prat and he is always in detention!" He covered his mouth. "Oh my god I can't believe I just said that."

"Don't worry. He's probably too busy stuffing his face to even notice we're not there."

Remus groaned. "I just don't get it. That was my thing. I was the responsible, smart one, Sirius was the crazy one, James was the troublemaker, Peter was the supporter, and you were-"

"The girl?" I offered, laughing.

"Yeah. Female representation and all that." He flashed a quick grin but it quickly fell off of his face. "But ever since last year, James has been getting really good at all his classes- he got a lot of Outstandings on his Owls and he's been climbing the ladder, and now he's head boy, so what am I anymore?"

I laughed softly.

"Oh, Moony, don't you see? You are still the clever one, the smart one, the responsible one. But what does it matter, what our titles are? I mean... Prongs isn't a bad boy, around only us. He's a total goof off! And hey... At least you aren't the girl..." I smirked.

"Fair point there."

"Although, I'm beginning to wonder about your monthly-"

"Not another word." He warned sternly, then grinned. "Cmon. I'm starving!!!"

**************

"Guys, guess what?" Prongs tap danced into our train compartment, coming back from the Heads meeting.

"Nobody cares." I rolled my eyes, looking through Mad Xeno's 'magazine' he had started self-publishing, The Quibbler. "Guys, this stuff is ridiculous. Absolutely mad. Xeno's gone bonkers!"

"No no no no no no no guess what???"

I looked up from a page on crumple-horned snorcacks. "What do you want, Prongs..."

"Lily is head girl!!!!! We'll get to know each other, and then we'll kiss, and then we'll get married..."

"Oy, mate, don't forget having-" Sirius began, but was cut off by Lily entering the compartment.

"Um, James, we're supposed to make sure the first years get to the..." she faltered when she saw me. I realized I was evil-glaring at her and immediately stopped. "...to Hagrid all right."

"Okay!" James turned around as he left and mouthed, SHE CALLED ME JAMES!

I slunk further into my seat. Of course Lily was head girl. Just my luck.

**************

My eyes met the misty crystal ball. None of the rest of the marauders had decided to keep going with Divination after the Divination Owl, but I had gotten an Outstanding for seeing some mumbo-jumbo in the crystal ball, the only part of Divination I was actually ok with. 

And then, something  swam up from its misty depths.

"Crucio!" I saw myself shouting, laughing, two strangely familiar faces contorted in pain.

I saw dementors, swirling around me, me slumped with my back on a cell wall.

Worst of all... "Avada Kedavra!" And I saw my best friend, my cousin, falling backwards, and a boy that looked like a slightly younger version of James, shouting, screaming. And I was laughing again.

I pushed the ball to the ground. I didn't want to see any more. 

Professor Grindy stood up. "Miss Black! Temper!"

But I couldn't control myself. "Regitiva!" I shouted angrily, pointing my wand at the crystal ball, which disintegrated into ash. I ran out of the room and all the way to the Gryffindor common room.

When I stormed in, all the marauder's heads turned towards me. They were the only ones in the common room- all the other kids were in classes but they had decided to not go to history of magic that day.

Padfoot and Prongs had been lounging by the fire place, planning their next prank. Moony was doing homework while munching on some chocolate from his secret stash, and Wormtail was hopelessly trying to copy my Potions homework that I had lent to him.

Prongs laughed. "What's your problem?"

Caught off guard, I lied. "Ah, Grindy was just getting on my nerves. So I decided to join you guys. Prongs, Padfoot, what's the prank?" I grinned at them. Moony rolled his eyes and ran his hands down his face.

James grinned. "We're not planning a prank. We're planning how to get Evans to go out with me." He turned back to Padfoot. "So, I'm thinking I walk up to her during supper and say, 'Hey, Evans- did it hurt?' "

I, copying Remus, put my head in my hands. I knew what I had to do- even though it hurt me to do so. He came before me. After all, was he not a better person than me?

"See, Prongs, that pickup line is literally the most annoying, overused, stupid, ridiculous, biggest-turnoff thing you can ever say to a girl."

Padfoot pouted. "Awwwwww... I though I was being clever! Bonewing, you're a meanie! Meanie!"

But Prongs hit him in the face and looked at me attentively. "Then what do I say to her?" I asked sincerely.

"Honestly, what I would do? I've noticed- every time you ask her out, you do it in front of at least half the school, with a bang, dramatically... I don't think she likes all the attention, and honestly? In her eyes, it makes you come off as an arrogant, big-headed show-off."

"Which he is." Padfoot snickered. Prongs hit him in the face again.

"What you want to do," I took a deep breath, "Is just approach her when you're alone, and pretty much just tell her- 'Lily, I really like you, and I've liked you for a while now, and I was wondering if you'd like to go to hogsmeade with me next weekend for a butterbeer.' Not in front of a bunch of people, not flashily, no mentions of having sex afterwards, just tell her." I thought for a minute. "Also, you could lay off Snivellus- even if they're not friends anymore doesn't mean she likes to see you tease him. I know you stopped teasing other people but it would probably be good in her eyes for you to stop teasing him."

"Aw, come on..." Padfoot sighed.

"You know, she's probably right." Moony agreed. "I mean, with all of it. Lily doesn't really like things super flashy when I think of it- that's probably a quarter of your problem. The Snivellus thing is probably another quarter, the sex thing is a sixteenth..."

"Moony, you know I'm not good at math!" Padfoot pouted again. "Does that equal one?"

"No..." James began. "But wait, what's the rest?"

"The fact that she hates your guts!" Wormtail piped up.

Remus tapped his nose. "Right on target, Wormy." He grinned. "Good luck, Prongs."

James stuck his tongue at Moony and Wormtail, and left the common room in search of Lily. Wormtail followed, probably to go to the library to find Kory Davids, a Ravenclaw he was paying in sweets to help with his homework.

Remus, Sirius and I were alone in the common room.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked immediately.

"What do you mean?" I composed my face to look confused and surprised. 

Remus turned around and rested his arms on the back of his armchair, looking at me. "He's right- something's up. Besides, you never leave Divination without snagging me chocolate."

Oh, shoot, I thought. That's what I forgot. 

"Uh... I forgot?" I tried to say, but it came out as a question.

"Nope." Sirius shook his head. "No, you didn't. Well, you did, but something's up."

"Sooo, what is it?" Remus finished.

I sighed and sunk into an armchair. Moony turned around to face me, and Sirius sat on his lap.

"Get off, Sirius." Moony said.

"No." He said petulantly. 

"Fine." Moony grumbled. "So?" He questioned.

"I saw some disturbing things in the crystal ball today." I sighed heavily.

"Like what?" Padfoot sat forward, causing Moony to wince.

"Like... like, well, I was in Azkaban."

"What?"  Moony and Padfoot screeched together.

I nodded. "And... I used... I used the cruciatus curse on someone. I think-" I put my head in my hands. "I think it was an older version of Frank Longbottom."

Moony's eyes widened and I winced. 

"What else?" He demanded.

"I...I'm sorry." I whispered, burst into tears, and fled the room.