tw: vomiting, a lot of talk about death (this is pretty par for the course by now, isn't it?)

     Theodore let the rest of January be what it was. It passed fairly simply. He went to class, took notes, completed assignments, and answered questions. Kennedy continued to prove an ever-tough professor, but Theodore handled it well enough. He was used to constant critique, and he could work with it. 

    Monty was a different story.

    Theodore knew that Monty did whatever he could not to miss class. But some days, he was too exhausted even to leave his dorm room; Theodore knew well enough that Dansworth did not sneak food out of their meal hall for himself. Dansworth was also growing concerningly good at doing so. Some days, all Monty could do was stay in bed until Theodore was done with classes for the day. On those days, Theodore would go back to his room and use his typewriter to type out all of his notes before sliding it under Monty and Dansworth's door. There had been one day where a response had been slid under Teddy's door with a few questions. Theodore wrote the answers down and brought them back to their room.

     They never said anything of it, though Teddy knew that those typed notes, with new notes in the margins and between the lines, were kept with the notes Monty himself took.

     The issue was not in keeping Monty on track; he was doing exceptionally well, all things considered. The issue was Kennedy's emphasis on attendance.

    The last time Monty missed class, Kennedy turned to Theodore.

     "Barrow. You're a hard worker, and I hate to see that be taken advantage of. Would you tell your friend Montgomery that he needs to pull himself together and get to class?"

     Theodore did not tell Monty any such thing. When Monty returned to the next class, Kennedy had gone for him.

     "Montgomery! How nice of you to grace us peasants with your presence!" Monty had froze, turning to the man. "How many classes will you get through this time before you decide that this isn't worth your time?"

      "I'm sorry, sir-"

     "Doctor."

     "I'm sorry, doctor," Monty had replied. "I don't want to miss class."

     Monty was standing with his shoulders squared as he looked at the man. Theodore had to admire it. 

     "And?"

     Monty looked at the man, confused. He glanced at Theodore, but Theodore could not have helped him even if he knew, for Kennedy spoke again.

     "Is this not where you promise that it will not happen again?"

     Monty glanced down and swallowed. He could not promise any such thing. Something in Theodore felt like he owed Monty this one thing. So, trying to ignore his racing heart as he did it, Theodore knocked one of the glass test tubes- an empty one, for he wasn't stupid- off of the desk.

     "Doctor, I am so sorry!" Theodore said as soon as Kennedy's head turned around. "Look at that, I just did that! I can't believe myself!"

    Theodore knelt to start collecting the glass, avoiding eye contact with Monty. Kennedy, with a sigh, walked over to Barrow.

    "Don't worry, Barrow. Mistakes happen. Another student must have left it too close to the edge. Hardly your fault."

    Kennedy grabbed a broom and helped Teddy clean it up as the rest of the class filed in. As the Professor went to dispose of the glass, Monty sat next to Theodore at their lab table.

    "Obsequious bastard," Monty muttered to him. Theodore smirked.

    "Ungrateful truant," he replied. Monty snorted as he placed his book on the table. In a whisper, he spoke again.

     "Thank you."

    "You're welcome."

     On the first Friday of February, after his classes, Teddy began a drive back home for the weekend; the next day was Percy's nineteenth birthday, and he was determined to be there.

    He was determined to be a better friend, for he would willingly admit that he had been a miserable one in his first semester. Percy, who had been with Teddy through fires and strikes and death threats and blackmail, deserved much better than what he had gotten. Besides, Theodore was keen on getting the gift he had found into Percy's hands. The binoculars were not something that Teddy himself would ever use, but he felt that Percy was a different story.

     He spent the weekend at the Abbey; everyone was rather busy, and so was he with his papers, so there were not many interactions while he was there. Thomas, at least, seemed to understand, and he let Theodore spread out to work in the butler's pantry during Friday evening, where the only person to interrupt him would be Thomas himself.

     "And I get to," he had said when he voiced that thought. "I'm your father."

    "It's only natural," Theodore had replied with a smile. 

    The next day, he spent most of the morning and afternoon in the butler's pantry, continuing to work and trying not to get distracted by his racing thoughts. Eventually, while Theodore worked through his essay's second body paragraph, Thomas looked into the room.

    "Hey, Teddy. It's almost two. You're heading to the Wilsons' soon, right?"

    Theodore nodded, using his essay rough draft to mark the page that he had been citing from his textbook as he closed it. He began tidying his belongings, but Thomas waved him off.

     "Don't worry about that. It's not in my way. You go and have fun with your friends."

     "Teddy!" Percy excitedly said as he opened the door. Theodore smiled at him, hitting his feet against the walkway to knock the mud off his shoes before stepping into the Wilson home. "How have you been? What have you been up to?"

    "Happy birthday, Perce. I'm good," Theodore replied, handing his coat to Percy's awaiting hands. "Busy with assignments. I've been trying to write an essay for my Human Anatomy course."

    He got two responses at the same time from people in the room.

    "What kind of essay are you supposed to write in an Anatomy class?" Came from Everett. Eleanor, sitting on the ground behind the sofa and out of Teddy's sight, gave the alternate response.

     "As opposed to what? Animal anatomy?"

     "Animal anatomy is important, too," Percy replied, taking Teddy's wrapped box with a grateful smile. Theodore focused on answering Everett.

     "I'm supposed to look at whether or not the human body's structure is an intelligent design."

    "Is it?" Mrs. Wilson asked, emerging from another room as she wiped her hands on a cloth. 

    "I'm arguing that it's not," Teddy replied, accepting the hug she offered him. She squeezed him tightly before releasing him. "I mean, you look at childbirth, for example. Babies have to be born with their skulls not fully formed because the human pelvis is not wide enough for their heads to fit through the birth canals. Or you can look at the fact that your airway is right next to the esophagus, making it easy to choke on food. I know we have the epiglottis, but it can be flawed-"

     "Ted, you're losing me," Everett cut Theodore off, and Teddy laughed.

     "Sorry. This paper has consumed my brain for the past week. How are you all?"

     He rounded the sofa so that he could see Eleanor as well but paused once he had.

    She sat on the ground, playing with Grace, who had a variety of toys with her. Next to them was Margeret, who gave Theodore a small smile. Then, there was Abigail, who looked up and locked eyes with Theodore. They stared for a moment, brown eyes gazing into blue. There once were days where those eyes were like a lake that Teddy could submerge himself in forever. Other times, they were a night sky that he could get lost in travelling amongst the stars. But, her eyes had always been watercolour; there was an artistic beauty to them that Theodore would find himself sinking back into if he did not look away.

    "I'm well enough, thank you," Abi replied simply. To the point, voice and words short. A sign- no, a warning. Her eyes were a painting, an exhibit, that Theodore had not paid to see.

    Theodore nodded jerkily, looking over at Everett, who was humming to himself from his seat at the dining table, drawing lines on a piece of paper.

    "You, Ev? How's your new location working out?"

    "Oh, it's great!" Everett replied excitedly. He beckoned Theodore over, and Teddy was quick to move. "Having an actual theatre has been great for hearing how the songs sound with the acoustics! And we have backstage space now, so we can start making our set. Oh, and Mae has a lot more room now for the costumes, which they're very excited about."

    "That sounds fantastic," Theodore replied, taking a seat at the table. Percy walked over and joined them.

     "I can't thank you enough for getting Lord Ellscliffe onboard," Everett continued, "he's been incredible."

     "I didn't do anything," Teddy insisted. "I'm just glad it's all working out."

    Everett smiled and then looked over at Percy. They must have been talking before Teddy arrived, as Everett jumped right back into the topic.

     "So, what were you saying about your mother?"

    "She's invited me to visit again," Percy replied, eyes on the table, where he was running his finger along a notch in the wood. "Says she wants to try to reconcile or something. I think I might try to go."

     "America. What an adventure," Everett said with a smile, leaning back in his chair. Percy glanced up at him.

     "You know, you could come if you want. Both of you. She said I could bring friends."

    Theodore and Everett exchanged a glance, a grin coming onto the latter's face.

     "That would be amazing! America! I know she's in Chicago, but can we spend a few days in New York? I can't go to America and not see Broadway."

    Percy nodded but turned to his other friend.

    "When are you done with your classes?"

    "I'm done by the end of April," Teddy answered, thinking it over. As crazy as it was, they could do it. Teddy certainly had the money now.

     "So we could go in May," Percy realized. "That's not that far away."

    "Happy birthday to me," Everett said jokingly. 

     "This could work," Percy said, nodding to himself as he thought it over. "Yes, this could really work."

     "What's this?" Mr. Wilson asked, walking over to the table. He had a box in his hands, which he handed off to Percy. 

     "We're thinking of maybe taking a trip to America together," Percy explained, looking at his friends for confirmation. As they both nodded, he continued. "I should go visit Mum. And we thought we might make a bit of a Grand Tour of it."

    Mr. Wilson hummed, looking between the boys. The girls, who had been talking amongst themselves, were quiet, looking over at the table.

    "Well, you can't get either of these two pregnant, so I'm fine with it."

    Percy's face fell, mortified. When Theodore turned, Margy just looked confused. 

    "I would rather hope so," she said, looking at Percy. He avoided eye contact with her. Theodore turned.

     "Not to worry, Margeret," he said, looking back at her. "We'll keep Percy well under control."

     "You'll have to promise not to catch your house on fire while we're gone though," Everett added. "Percy won't be here to save you this time."

    Margy narrowed her eyes, staring at Everett. He smiled back at her until Percy reached across the table to hit his arm.

    When Teddy went back to the Abbey, he proposed the idea to Thomas. The man thought it over, then nodded.

    "A trip could be nice for you," he recognized. "And you're eighteen now. It's hardly my place to tell you where you can and can't go."

    "I like having your opinion."

    "In that case, my opinion is yes. You should go with the boys. It'll be good for you to have time with them."

     February brought midterm season, and, with the Raphaelites uncommonly quiet, Teddy and his friends focused on studying. 

     "What are the structural and functional units of proteins?" Theodore read aloud off of their study question list, then looked up. Ashton looked back at him, biting his lip. "Come on, Ash. You know this. You know you do."

     Ashton lifted his cup of tea, sipping from it with his brow furrowed. Two used teacups were sitting on the desk behind him, one with some drink left in it but no steam. Once he swallowed, he thought through it.

     "Proteins, structural and functional- Oh! Amino acids?"

    "Correct!" Theodore replied enthusiastically, causing Ashton to laugh.

     They had ended up in the same Biochemistry class with a professor named Dr. Hallowes. He was a dull yet kind man, and they had few problems with him so far. Ashton himself had more worries about the course content itself, and he had expressed how grateful he was to have Theodore in the course with him a handful of times.

     "Alright," Ashton said, taking the paper. He scanned the list, then read off; "How does fetal hemoglobin differ from normal adult hemoglobin?"

     Theodore sighed, nodding in recognition. He had gone over the question on his own the day before.

     "Fetal has neutral amino acid where adult has histidine residue."

     "That's it!" Ashton confirmed. 

     Theodore took back the paper, and they continued to run through questions. They kept track of the ones that each of them missed, marking them down to go back to later. It was as Ashton had taken the paper that there was a knock on the door and Monty's head poked into the room.

    "Hey!" He said, entering the dorm room and closing the door behind himself. "Danny is attempting to bake-"

    Already, Ashton looked skeptical. Theodore had to stop himself from laughing.

    "-but he doesn't have the right kind of bowl for it. Any chance that you guys have one we could borrow?"

    Ashton pointed to one of the baskets on his shelf. 

     "All of my bowls are in there. You're welcome to use one."

    "Thanks!" Monty replied. As he went over to look, Ashton looked back to the questions and picked one.

     "True or false; all cancers are metastatic."

    Monty, from behind Ashton's viewpoint, paused and looked over his shoulder. Theodore answered quickly.

    "False."

    "That's right," Ashton replied, handing back the page. As Teddy took it, Monty spoke again, shoulders tense.

    "Thank you for the bowl," he said to Ashton before turning to Theodore. "I have an appointment on Tuesday afternoon. Would you be able to take notes for me in Kennedy's class again?"

     "Of course," Theodore replied, smiling at his friend. "Around when will you be back for me to give them to you?"

     "I'm not sure yet. It's supposed to be a longer one. But you can leave them with Dansworth."

     "Right," Teddy replied. "Let me know if you need anything else."

     "I will, thank you."

     As Monty turned to the door, Ashton looked between him and Theodore, brow furrowed. It was when the door swung back into place, latch clicking, that Ashton spoke again.

     "Is there something going on?"

     "What do you mean?" Teddy asked, eyes scanning the list of questions. Ashton hesitated for a moment, then shook his head.

     "Nothing. Nothing at all."

    Over that weekend, Dansworth caught the round of influenza that was travelling around the campus. Theodore found out through Ashton, who had gotten a note from him saying that he would be off campus until he was better and asking for notes from their shared class. On Monday, Monty said more about it on their walk back from Kennedy's class.

    They were fighting cold wind and rain as they walked, Monty's arms protectively around his dark grey coat, which was growing darker with each raindrop that hit it. 

     "The room's really quiet without him," Monty said, voice loud to be heard over the noise of the wind. Teddy nodded. "I hoped that he would get better quickly over the weekend, but he's not back yet."

    "I'm sure that he's eager to get better, too," he offered. They were approaching the campus cathedral- the one used by the public, not the Raphaelites. 

     "Mind if we step in here for a minute?" Monty asked, nodding at it. "I'm freezing."

     "You're sure that we can?"

     "Father Gregory won't mind. He never does."

     They stepped into the cathedral, a place that Teddy admittedly had never walked into before. But Monty walked through it with familiarity, going straight to one of the pews to sit down. Theodore followed quietly, eyes on the stained glass.

    "It was built before the Reformation," Monty explained in a hushed voice, following Theodore's gaze. "So, Catholic. But, after Henry the Eighth changed the entire country's religion so that he could get some, quite a few cathedrals were transferred to the Church of England. Like this one."

     Teddy hummed, glancing around.

    "Yet the university still has a Catholic name."

    "I'm not sure about that one," Monty replied with a smile, looking forward. He was quiet as he looked forward, then closed his eyes and turned his face upward. 

    Theodore stayed silent, unsure of whether Monty should be interrupted. Was he praying? Teddy couldn't tell. Movement toward the front of the church prompted him to turn, and Teddy's eyes landed on a man wearing a cassock. His eyes landed on where the boys were. He nodded to Theodore, and Teddy found himself nodding back. As the man walked away, Teddy noted that he had a limp.

    "I want to believe it," Monty said quietly, opening his eyes and adjusting his glasses. Teddy turned back to him. 

     "Believe what?"

     "That God is out there. That he has a plan for me, for all that I'm put through."

     "I see," Teddy replied, rubbing his hands together to try and warm them up. 

     "But it gets hard. When I feel it all just-" Monty looked down at his hands. "I experience everything and nothing all at once. And every day, I'm reminded that the world will not last forever."

     Monty swallowed, looking at Teddy with a tight smile.

     "You must think that I sound insane." 

     "Not at all," Teddy replied. He considered the words for a moment before he spoke again. "It is exhausting to contemplate your own mortality."

     "Yet it is also exhausting to avoid it."

     "There are good people out there, Monty. People with morals who will help if you need it."

    Monty hummed, looking down at the pew next to him. He picked a worn Bible up from it and looked it over.

     "Moral," he repeated, then held the Bible out to Teddy. Theodore took it, though he wasn't sure why.

     Monty looked forward, brow furrowed. 

     "What is morality, at the end of the day, other than something people pretend they have for their own self-benefit?"

    With Monty gone from Kennedy's class the next day, Teddy was paired with Felix Linington for their lab. He was a fellow Raphaelite who was more often known as Desino among the group, though they hadn't interacted much.

     Though Kenneddy had muttered his complaints about Monty not being present, he seemed calmer when Theodore did not argue about the pairing. He just wanted to get this task done. 

    As they used their microscope to look at the cluster of bacteria they were given, Linington spoke.

    "It's odd,