Comment and Vote my lovelies!!!
————————————————

Three weeks. It's been three weeks since thanksgiving break and Dean has gotten mad at me more times than I can count. The bruises litter my body followed by the pain. He's gotten smarter though, he only hits me in places I can cover up with clothing.

I don't know what happened, I don't even know if he ever got help. Shawn was probably right about it all being a ploy to get me back. It's like when he told my parents about our engagement that was all he needed to confirm I would never leave him. They were so happy for us and they love Dean.

Shawn has ceased talking to me, I haven't even been his TA since before Thanksgiving break. What's worse is we still have these moments in class that makes me think he still likes me. Like hovering over my desk or prolonged eye contact during a lesson. He used to make me forget about what Dean does to me.

I cover up the latest assault on my wrist by pulling down my sleeve. I'm glad it's December and cold out instead of hot like the beginning of the year. It actually makes sense for me to cover up now. Still this year doesn't feel real, half the semester is almost over and all I have to show for it are bruises and a broken heart.

"Come on, we're going to be late." Dean says as he comes up from behind and wraps his arms around my waist. I flinch at first before leaning into him. There's no way I can get out of this, not anymore.

"Okay." I agreed, pulling out of his hold on me and grabbing my bag. Dean has gone back to driving me back and forth to school. He can keep a better eye on me this way.

The car ride is filled with music playing and silence between the both of us. When we get to school Dean shuts off the car and looks over at me, "Smile, all of this glooming around is getting annoying." He demands with a hard tone.

I force myself to smile as we walk inside the school. Jenny is already at the lockers with a wide smile, at least hers is real. "Guess what?" She asks but doesn't let me answer, "It's a girl!"

I hug her, "That's great Jen, I'm happy for you." I honestly tell her. Jenny and Jake have the kind of love that you can't fake. We pull away as I ask, "Does Bee know?"

"I do know." Bee confirms as she walks up to us.

Jenny laughs awkwardly, "I couldn't wait to tell someone sorry." I wave off her apology as her and Bee chat about the baby. The truth is I haven't been able to see them since the party. The only time we actually hang out is during third period. Dean doesn't really like to share me, or maybe he's scared they'll find out what's been going on. Either way it doesn't make for a very good friend.

I turn to Dean, "Isn't that amazing?" I ask about Jenny.

He grabs my arm, "It is, excuse us we have to get to class." The others don't see what's happening so they don't think anything of Dean pulling me away. Why would they notice how controlling he's gotten? They've only ever known Dean as a good friend and an even better boyfriend.

I take my seat next to Dean and once the bell rings, class begins. "Good morning," He greets, "I know we're nearing our last couple weeks before Christmas break but we still have a lot to cover before midterms." After that I stop paying attention.

Instead I watch the way Mr. Morgan moves and teaches, he's so confident. I wonder if we would've ever kissed that day if Dean was different. After all that's what caught his attention wasn't it? He makes eye contact and we share one of those moments. Then his gaze lowers and narrows on my wrist. I look down and notice my sleeve is pushed up. I push it back down and look at Mr. Morgan but he's not looking at me anymore, he's looking at Dean.

He wasn't meant to see that, he wasn't supposed to know. I almost expect him to stop me after class but he doesn't. However when I get to my next class my phone vibrates.

Shawn: Stop by after school.

I don't respond. I have no idea if I should actually show up. At this point I don't even know if Dean will be okay with it.

After math concepts I make my way to my third period. Dean doesn't usually walk me because his class is on the other side of the school. "Hey Livia." Hunter says as he walks up to me.

"Hey Hunter what's up?" I ask. The last time we talked was at his party, we don't normally have much to talk about.

Hunter looks a little uncomfortable, "I was hoping I could ask you something."

"Shoot." I reply, stopping just short of my class.

"Well I heard that you stopped being Mr. Morgan's TA." He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. "I was going to see if I could be Mr. Morgan's new TA. I know you were his and if you still-" I put my hand up to stop him.

"Hunter it's okay. He'd be stupid not to make you his TA." When I worked on that project with Hunter I realized how smart he is. As much as I like being Mr. Morgan's TA this is probably for the best.

Hunter sighs in relief, "Really?" He asks with a half smile.

I nod, "In fact, I'm headed there after school so I'll see you there?" I know he wants to talk to me about the bruise he saw but it can't happen if Hunter is with me.

The bell is about to ring so I part ways with Hunter and go to my next class. I find it a little easier to concentrate on school since It's the one thing Dean doesn't control now.

I feel trapped, like I've completely lost Dean to this hatred inside of him. Maybe he's always been that way and I've never noticed. Regardless I don't know how to get out at this point.

At lunch we all sit at the same table and chat among ourselves. "I was thinking about staying after school today." I mention to Dean.

"Why? I thought you stopped being Mr. Morgan's TA?" I never officially stopped but I haven't exactly been in a while. Mainly we've been avoiding each other ever since I stayed the night when he was drunk.

I shrug, "I guess he wants to pick back up. Or maybe he just wants to tell me he's getting a new TA." If he accepts Hunter then it'll be the last time I'll really need to stay after.

Dean thinks about it for a moment and his hesitance makes me think he's going to have a problem with it. "Fine." He agrees, surprising me.

After school I walk into the classroom and leave the door open behind me. "Hey." I say.

Hunter is standing in front of Mr. Morgan's desk, "Hey, Livia." Hunter greets me with a smile. "I was just asking Mr. Morgan about being his new TA." He turns to our teacher with a gleam in his eyes.

Mr. Morgan looks at me with hesitance, "Livia is still my TA, I-"

I step in, "I think it's a great idea." They both turn their attention to me, "I mean, I haven't exactly been able to since before Thanksgiving break." I know Hunter will be reliable especially since I have a lot going on at the moment.

I know he wants to tell Hunter no, I can see it on his face and how resistant he is to say yes. Regardless of what he wants he has to know it would look bad turning down another student for this kind of opportunity. I don't expect what he says next, "I have room for the both of you."

"What?" I question.

Mr. Morgan shrugs, "Yeah I mean, you're not here everyday so I can split up the week for the both of you to come in on certain days." He stands up and grabs a piece of paper from his drawer and hands it to Hunter. It's the same form I had to fill out in order to become his TA. "Provided that you two are okay with it, fill this out and bring it back tomorrow."

Hunter takes the form, "That works for me as long as it works for you, Livia."

I know this is Mr. Morgan's way of keeping me as his TA but I don't understand why. He's hardly said anything to me since the break and I'm not even sure if I can go back to being his TA. "I'll have to check with Dean...he's my ride." I add to make it seem like he doesn't control me.

"Well why don't you stay today and Hunter can start tomorrow. If you can't then no harm, Hunter can take your place." Hunter seems more than happy with the compromise made today so he agrees and says his goodbyes.

I don't know what games Mr. Morgan is playing or why I'm still involved. "I thought you drive yourself now." He comments, gathering a stack of papers on his desk and setting them back down to the corner for me.

I shrug, "I guess I just prefer Dean to take me."

Mr. Morgan closes the space between us, his eyes boring into mine. "I'm not stupid Livia."

"What do you want from me? Why didn't you just make Hunter your TA? You haven't even talked to me in weeks." I have to admit that I've been distancing myself from him too, ever since Dean stopped pretending to be the caring boyfriend.

"You told me you wanted to fix things with Dean so I backed off." He grabs my wrist and pulls down the sleeve, "Then I noticed this. What happened?" I pull back from his grasp and hide the bruises. It makes me sick looking at them, to see Shawn looking at them is so much worse. He grabs my chin, lifting it up to make eye contact, "You can talk to me." I know I can talk to him. I could spill and tell him everything that's happened to me in the last three weeks but what good would it do?

"It doesn't matter." I finally say.

"It does to me."

"Why?"

"I care about you, Livia." I've heard those words before but I don't know what it means for us. "Tell me what happened."

I know I shouldn't but for the first time in awhile I'm able to get this off of my chest. So I tell him, "You were right, he just wanted me back. Now we're engaged and he has control again. I don't have my life anymore, Shawn. He's taken away everything I have left." I never had control in the first place and now I'm too afraid to leave him.

"Not everything." He whispers, moving his hand from my chin to my cheek. I lean into it, "You have me."

I don't know why but at that moment I can't help but grab the back of his neck and pull him to me. He reacts instantly, kissing me back with his other hand wrapping around my waist and pulling me in close. I can feel him against me and I've never wanted something so much before I met Shawn. I know it's wrong, I know about the consequences, I know I'm still with Dean. Despite knowing all of these things I just can't seem to care.

I'm so sick of denying the connection between Shawn and me. I want to be in control for once. "Are you sure about this?" Shawn asks, pulling away slightly.

"I'm sure." He wastes no time kissing me again. The electricity ignites in my body leaving nothing but heat in between us as we kiss. The next thing I know Shawn grabs the back of my thighs, lifting me up so that I can wrap my legs around his waist. It's like our instincts take over and react before our minds can catch up. Shawn brings one of his hands to slide under my shirt and graze my bra. As good as his hands feel on me I can't help but wince at the slight pain. Shawn pulls away slightly, "What? What's wrong?" He asks.

I shake my head, trying to pull him back to me, "Nothing." I defend but he stops me, setting me down.

"It's not nothing, let me see." He's so serious now. I want to go back to a minute ago, I want to feel good again. Shawn seems to have other plans as he lifts my shirt up to my bra. I look away from him, not wanting to see his reaction. I already know how bad it looks. Dark purple bruises litter most of my chest and stomach. He's gotten so much worse than I ever thought possible. "Jesus Livia." He whispers. Most of them don't hurt unless they're pressed on. "These are all different shades, how often is this happening?"

I take a step back, lowering my shirt. "Almost every day since Thanksgiving."

Shawn takes in a deep breath as he runs his fingers through his hair. "Livia I can't let this keep happening. If he's getting worse then the next time he could put you in the hospital." I know he wants to help me but there's nothing he can do.

"Don't you think I know that?" I ask. "I don't want anyone to know, Shawn. I've never been in this situation okay? I don't know how to get out of it." I want to leave him, I know I don't love him anymore but I just can't. More than anything I need him to understand that. "He always says he's doing this so he doesn't lose me. If I leave him I'm afraid of what he might do." What's worse is I'm afraid of what he'll do if someone gets in the way of us. "He's not in the right headspace right now so I promise I'll leave him but the timing has to be right."

Shawn rests his forehead on mine, "You don't understand how hard it is for me to sit back and do nothing."

"You're not doing nothing. You're the only reason I'm getting through this." Just then my phone buzzes and I know it's Dean telling me he's here. "He's going to come through that door any minute."

Shawn pulls back, moving away and over to his desk. I adjust my clothes and fix my hair just before the door opens. "Hey teach." Dean greets Shawn. His jaw is clenched but he forces a small nod in return. "Let's go, Liv." He walks up to me and grabs my hand.

I nod, letting Dean drag me away from Mr. Morgan. As we make our way to the car I get a text and quickly pull my phone out to read it. "Who is that?" Dean asks.

"It's my mom, she's just checking in." I lie as I quickly put my phone up. It was really Shawn telling me to come over this Saturday.