Another morning came around. Like the previous day, and the day before that, Pat found himself at the school early, doing his daily laps. The corridors were quiet, there was nobody about, and Robin was laying in the middle of the floor in a star shape.

Pat backtracked and stopped suddenly, craning his neck to observe his fallen classmate. Robin was laying face first on the floor and looked as though he wasn't breathing, which immediately worried Pat. The shorter teen gently stepped over him and crouched down, looking to see what the problem was. He was about to check for a pulse when-

"RAAAGH!" Robin roared, bouncing onto his feet. Pat let out a shriek and lost his balance, falling over. Once Pat had regained his composure he glared at the still howling Robin.

Robin wiped the tears from his eyes and rubbed his grimy hands on his uniform before sticking one out for Pat to take. "Got you!"

Pat pouted and took his hand. Robin pulled him up. "Think you almost gave me a heart attack!" he held his chest.

Robin smirked, "I was bored. Saw you coming. Played dead. BOO!" he raised his voice on the last word, making Pat jump again.

"Robin!"

"What? Shouldn't be such a scaredy-cat."

"I'm not a- wait a moment, what are you doing in school so early?"

Robin just shrugged. "What are YOU doing in school so early?"

"I, uh, I was just... um... prep! Prep for the after-school class later. Yes." Pat folded his arms, continuing his journey around the school. Robin followed.

"My parents are going to a funeral today," Robin said after a while. "My grandfather passed away the other week."

Pat looked at his taller companion. His usually impassive expression was tinted with sadness. "I'm so sorry to hear that."

"It's okay. I didn't really know him that well. It's just... hard to take in."

Pat nodded. "I know the feeling."

Robin decided to change the subject, "What lesson you got first?"

"Maths. What about you?"

"English with Mrs Cooper."

"Good. Do you enjoy her lessons?"

Robin nodded, "Yeah. You enjoy Maths?"

Pat shook his head, "Er, not really. I'm stuck sitting next to Ryan Ashley. He's a right chatterbox and never shuts up! I can hardly concentrate on the work!" he complained softly.

Robin chuckled. "Just stab him with a pencil. It's what I'd do."

"I'm not stabbing him with a pencil, Robin."

"Suit yourself."

The two continued walking around school, chatting about the random goings-on, including the drama in Pat's class. His set contained a group of mean-spirited tarts who were always spreading nasty rumours about other students in the school, and when they weren't doing that, they were telling everyone about their love lives, bragging about how many boys they'd bagged at the weekend.

Pat didn't really have much to do with them unless they were calling him names, so most of the time he just sat in classes absorbing their stupid conversations for days on end. He never normally told anyone as he wasn't one for gossip and he didn't really have anyone to talk to anyway, but he figured Robin was the type who enjoyed listening to the chaos.

"Pat? Do you know what's wrong with Mary?" Robin interrupted Pat's tirade.

"Uh, Mary? Why?" he replied, surprised.

"She seems down. Did she tell you why?" Robin stopped walking and abruptly turned to him. "You must know something."

Pat stepped back, "I... I can't say. She doesn't want me to tell anyone about it."

Robin dropped his shoulders, "Oh."

Pat felt bad, "Um, but she told me she likes it when you make her laugh. So just keep doing that, maybe?" he nervously smiled.

Robin smiled back. "Okay."

The bell rang, signalling first period.

"Well... I guess I'll see you later then?"

"Bye Pat." Robin nodded, making his way to class.

~~~~~

"Did you see what Kayleigh was wearing at the weekend? Awful dress."

"She looked like a cow!"

"Forget Kayleigh, let's talk about the more important issues!"

"Like what?"

"Boys!"

And then came the high-pitched giggles.

Pat inwardly groaned. It was second period, English, and Pat sat at the back of the classroom, just across from where the gossip girls were grouped. He hated sitting by them but was moved there because he would apparently be a good influence on them, despite the fact they ignored him as much as he tried to ignore them.

He peered towards the front of the class and could see Cap getting on with his work, head down like a good student. Across from him sat Humphrey, who was busy quietly chatting to the girl next to him. Mrs Cooper caught them chatting and gave them a stern look, ceasing their musings. She looked up at Pat and smiled, knowing she'd caught them out, and now him too for daydreaming.

He gave her a guilty smile and bowed his head. Mrs Cooper approached the back of the classroom to shut the gossipy girls up, then stopped by his table, crouching beside him.

"Hi Pat. How's the club going?" she whispered.

"Going well, I think." he replied quietly, "They're all doing really well."

"No more problems or anything?"

"No! Not like before."

"Good." she replied, standing back up. "You're doing a great job." she shot him a thumbs up.

"Thank you!" he squeaked, giving her an embarrassed smile.

~~~~~

First, second and third period had dragged by but thankfully it was finally lunchtime. Pat eagerly plucked out his lunchbox from his bag. When he lowered his bag down he saw that Fanny was sitting next to him.

"O-Oh! Fanny! I didn't see you there." he jumped.

"Good afternoon to you too, Patrick."

He awkwardly stared at her, unsure why she was sitting by him. His staring eventually irritated her and she rolled her eyes, fed up with him.

"Those girls have stolen my table." she groaned, gesturing over to the bitches from his class. "So I'm afraid I'm going to have to sit here. Is that alright with you?"

"Er, well, of course! Fanny! Um..." he lowered his lunchbox until it met the table. He didn't want to eat in front of Fanny. She was too posh and he was a mere commoner in comparison! He didn't want to embarrass himself by accidently presenting bad manners to her or something. He cleared his throat and pushed his lunchbox back into his bag, deciding to forgo lunch. "So, um... how are you, Fanny?"

"Tired. Sitting next to Fawcett for three hours does that to you."

"Three hours? Poor you!"

"Poor me INDEED! Having to sit next to him in History, Maths and Art! He wouldn't stop drawing THINGIES!"

Pat nearly choked on his juice.

She gave him a stern look. "How are you doing, Patrick?"

"F-Fine thank you. Keeping well... et cetera."

"We have History later today, correct?"

"Yes! I thought we could start with something easy, like Ancient Egyptian monarchs." he replied enthusiastically.

"How thrilling." she deadpanned.

"Indeedy! I just hope the others don't mind."

"The others don't mind what?" came a new voice.

Humphrey strolled on by and gave them a nod of his head in greeting. The two were more interested in why he currently had Thomas wrapped in a headlock.

"Hi Humphrey! Um..."

"Oh, caught him trying to sneak into the girls' toilets, didn't I?"

Fanny gasped.

"I-I was not!" Thomas protested, "I already told you, I accidently slipped and fell into the door!"

"Uh huh."

"It's true!"

"Sure it is."

Pat giggled. "Want to sit here for a bit? O-Only if you'd like to. And you Thomas."

Humphrey released Thomas and moved him onto a chair. The lean teenager glared at him and folded his arms crossly in a huff. Humphrey took a a seat beside him. "So! What we talking about, peeps?"

"Teatime Club biz! Was telling Fanny what we're doing later."

"What ARE we doing later?"

"Ancient Egypt!"

"Ew." Thomas rolled his eyes.

"Cool." Humphrey nodded. "Should be doing more about Rich the Third, like our beautiful play yesterday." he winked at Pat.

Pat shook his head and smiled.

~~~~~

Finally the school day was through, and Pat found himself walking with Kitty and Mary to their history classroom. The girls were skipping joyously as Pat waddled behind, watching them with amusement. The two led the way and soon spotted the others waiting outside the mobile because the room was locked.

"Open the bloody door, it's freezing!" came Julian's voice from across the courtyard.

The trio laughed at this and soon crossed the court. Pat retrieved the keys from his blazer pocket and pushed his way through the crowd, unlocking the door. Julian shoved his way past Pat and ran into the room, pouncing towards the radiator, which he switched on. He waited for it to warm up and rested against it. The others walked in to class normally. Pat entered last and shut the door.

"Hi guys! Sorry about the wait. You all ready for today?"

"No..." grumbled Thomas.

"What are we doing today, Patrick?" Kitty asked.

"Ancient Egypt!" he replied excitedly, to which Kitty clapped.

"Yay! Are we doing about Cleopatra?"

"Even better!"

"Better than Cleopatra?" she gasped.

"We'll be learning about "Hatshepsut."

"Who?"

"Hatshepsut! Pharoah of the 18th Dynasty!"

"Yeah... no. No idea who that is, to be honest." Humphrey put in with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Was she pretty?"

"Uh... I'm not sure."

"Then I'm not interested." Thomas huffed. Fanny slapped him.

"Can I be Hapshetsut?"

"Hatshepsut. How do you mean, 'be her', Kitty?"

"For Drama!"

"We're not doing Drama today."

"Oh. Can I be her anyway?"

"Uh..." Pat gazed at Kitty blankly. She really was a mystery.

"Ignore her, Patrick. Let's get on with the lesson, shall we?" Cap took charge in silencing the others.

Pat nodded appreciatively and clapped his hands together. "So! Hatshepsut. What do we know about her?"

"That she was Pharoah." Mary said.

"Of the 18th Dynasty." Robin added.

"Anything else?" Pat asked.

"She was probably into incest." Julian wiggled his eyebrows, much to everyone's disgust. "What? She probably was!"

"He's right. A lot of Pharoahs married their parents or siblings or cousins to keep their bloodlines pure." Humphrey inputted. "She probably married her brother or something." he looked to Pat for an answer.

"She did, yes." Pat told them.

"Gross."

"Why we got to learn about her?" Robin complained. "Never even heard of her."

"Because Mrs Perry told me that she would be coming up on one of the mock exams."

The class collectively groaned.

~~~~~

Half an hour later the clubbies had grown tired of learning about the Egyptian Queen and had gone off on a bit of a tangent, talking about completely irrelevant things.

"So what you're saying, Thomas, is that the universe has no meaning?" Fanny inquired.

"Exactly!"

Julian smirked, "Aside from the ladies and se-"

"Don't be vulgar." Fanny cut him off.

"Oh Fanny, you know you love me." he teased.

"What? S-Shut up Julian, I don't even LIKE you!"

"Sure you do, Princess."

"I do not!"

"Then who DO you like?" Julian grinned.

"Certainly not you!"

"Julian, please! Leave her alone!"

"Watch it, short-arse." he turned on Pat.

"...I'm not short." Pat lamely defended.

This caused Thomas to sniff in amusement. "Not short? You're the smallest one here, Patrick!"

"N-No I'm not!" Pat shook his head quickly, "I'm average for my age."

"If you were ten years old." Cap muttered. His deadpan remark made Julian and Thomas laugh.

"Don't worry Pat. That just makes you more special in my eyes." Kitty beamed at him.

"Kitty's right. You're the smallest person I know. You should be proud of that." Mary smiled.

"But I'm not small!" he protested, "I'm average!"

"Sorry Pat, but I'm actually average for our age." Humphrey claimed.

"Sod off, I thought I was!" Julian fired back.

Thomas sniffed haughtily, "Actually, you'll find I'm average."

"You're average alright." Fanny whispered, causing the girls to laugh.

Thomas looked horrified. "What did she say?"

"She said you were average, Thomas." Cap told him, causing Fanny to glare at him.

"Spoilsport. I was about to say you were above average, but now I'm not going to." Fanny replied.

Cap blinked, "What?"

"What?" Fanny blinked.

"Um... okay. Moving on!" Pat clapped his hands together. "Robin, you've been quiet for a bit. What do you have to say?"

Robin looked up from his book, "What?"

"About the Queen."

"She's got nice legs."

Pat facepalmed.