to alex,
when i realized you were leaving, i suddenly remembered how tough that'd be. and i also knew we wouldn't be able to have a severe, soft moment before you go. we're not like that. we're goofy — idiots practically. we're so close, i sometimes feel like you're my sister. no, scratch that. that'd be weird, considering you have a thing with marcus.
anyway, i have a few things i'd just like to ramble about. first of all, it'll be so weird not to have you around. it's always been you, vanessa and i. the three of us is something too big. i love how different we all are, which makes us so perfect. my favorite moments are when you two bicker and i just sit there, drawing but still listening.
to make this as non-messy as possible, i'd like to share what i feel depending on theme-wise.
as for being my roommate;
we've lived together for years. that's a very long time to get to know one another. i don't doubt that we know everything about each other — how we move, act, place things, walk around in an appartment, and such. you've been a great roommate, and i'm not just saying this because we happened to become best friends. i'm saying this because it's a fact. you're a bit messy, yes, but everyone is. you're simple, fun, you pick up and notice if something bugs me and try to avoid doing that again (which i hope i've done too). you know where to put everything, you clean sometimes and you're just a nice person to live with. props to that, alex.
as for being my friend;
god, where do i even begin? you'll have to accept the upcoming, cheesy words you're about to read. take some comfort in knowing they're all true.
i want you to remember that i love you a lot (even when you forget to buy me that stupid pizza. thank god your brother did). i'll miss how you were aware of my flaws, but never used them against me or such. not that we ever really had any fights, but still. it's easy to blurt something out, but you never do. if it wasn't for you, i'd probably never go to those college parties, and i surely would think less straight if you hadn't been there to talk some sense into me. what i love most about you is how chill your are, honestly. you're a perfect mix of goofy and serious. it's like you adjust to the moment, the situation (regardless of your own personality, although you never change) and that's great. as long as you keep holding onto your opinions and so.
other than that, there's nothing i really dislike about you, sarcasm aside. i love you lots, and hopefully i'll show up at your doorstep soon. have a nice flight, i'll pray you won't crash and die (if you do, i want your movies and books).
– hugs, cassie ♥.

to matt,
hi. i really hope you (both) remembered to read these, since you're both forgetable. you more than alex.
i'll try and say everything i want to say. i wanted to start this letter witty-ish with a funny comment, but i just couldn't think of anything.
i've been pacing my room, thinking about what the hell to write. how could i ever prepare for this? all i can do is write it all down.
i want to thank you, for so many things. so many small things that mattered so damn much to me. first, i want to thank you for hitting my head with your stupid football all the time. yes, i'm thanking you for that. thank you for showing me all these new things, introducing me to activities i never even thought about doing (boxing, and also the whole roof-sitting thing during the night). thank you for feeding me pizza when alex always forgot that i asked her to buy one. thank you for being there for me, more than i realized. thank you for being so amazing in general.
there are so many things i'll miss about us and you. i'll miss how you knocked on the door and entered right away with that cute, shy smile of yours. i'll miss us sitting on the floor and eating fat cheese, talking about god knows what. i'll miss watching tv shows with you, cheering for you on the field, having you hugging me right after. i'll miss your stammering and nervous state when you're around me. it was really cute. i'll even miss you spilling coffee on me, i'll miss going to parties with you, and i'll definitely miss taking selfies with you despite your reluctance to it.
now, enough about that. i don't just want to be sad here. you should be happy about this, and i want you too. you're going home to your parents, and beautiful london. and cat.
you're my first true love, and that will always be a fact that remains. no matter what. i will visit and keep in touch of course, but you can't just keep holding back. no, we're not high schoolers anymore, but we're still young. and maybe we'll actually figure something out and get back together. but until then, you don't deserve to hold back and be miserable. okay, miserable was a strong word. sad is lighter.
also, i really hope your job goes well. you told me your dad had fixed you one, and i hope it's one you deserve and will perform well at. i know you will. you're a hard worker (remember you got me, right? and thank god for that).
i love you, and i always will. you'll literally always be a part of me because you weren't only my boyfriend. you were that, but also my friend, alex's brother (which is different in a good way), passionate, caring, and someone who showed me new things. what more can a girl ask for? it'll be hard to top someone as great as you.
so, always remember that. i hope your flight is safe and you get back home well. although, if you die, i want your t-shirts and hoodies. right! i forgot to give you back your blue one. oh well.
– love, cass ♥.