The long wait to be called had started with the A's first. I saw a guy who had Biology with me trip on his way up the stairs only to pull himself back up using the gown in front of him. Slowly the line got shorter until I saw Liam. My mind had completely discarded that fact that he was graduating with us. The rosy color on his cheeks dimmed with the light and his eyes squinted as he approached the principal.

I could see Ricky lift his arm and wave at Liam. The corners of my lip twitched at the sight but quickly went back to a straight line. I had to remind myself why I had to stay away, the promise I made for him to even be seating feet away from me.

To which Peyton clearly took advantage of and crawled her way next to him. I sunk in further into my seat, the rows of people getting called only got closer and I just wanted to walk out. Parker was talking to me but all I heard were incoherent mumbles.

''Audrey!'' My eyes lose focus on the green dry gum peaking from below the seat in front of me, only to look up see Parker shaking my shoulder. He points to the stage where Ricky is 3 students away from getting his official diploma.

''Are you two still not talking?'' He asked me and I just shook my head. ''How come? I thought you liked him?''

''And that's why we're not talking.'' He gave me a confused stare.

''Jenni Gara... Ricardo Garcia..''

A part of me was expecting for him to leave after hearing his father's name or lash out and fill the place with vulgar language. But he's better than that. The sight of his cheeks sucked in with tension later released to form a partly genuine smile made me realize how it didn't affect his as much.

Everyone around me mechanically clapped as they did for everyone before, but I just sat there staring into him. He shook hands and started to slowly walk back as his eyes scanned the room for his family and hopefully me too.

For the rest of the time till my name was called I felt like my neck would unscrew itself. I had kept looking back in forth between him and his family so many times. My time was coming up so I followed my row to the stage and took 1-inch steps until our names were called. Parker went first and I was looking at his steps memorizing them.

''.. Audrey Jackson..''

One of my fears, since I started high school, was to trip on my own gown. Now as I walked to get that piece of paper I've come to realize that I never considered the fact that half my family wasn't going to see me. They saw Andi get his diploma but they will never get to see me.

''You can get off now.'' The principal said through clenched teeth. I looked into his gray eyes and just started to cry, and not the cute tears more like the snorting sniffling kind of tears. I knew everyone was watching me but I couldn't contain myself.

I could feel him pat me in the back, ''Someone?'' He turned to look at the line of teachers before one finally came to me and lead me down. I kept on rubbing my nose and the blue of the gown started to mix in with tears and nose junk.

_._._

''You could literally become a meme.'' Vanessa kept on laughing as she showed me the video on her phone.

''What even happened?'' Parker asked as were released to our families.

''I just got sentimental, okay,'' I see my mom waving at me. ''See you guys later,'' I told them and started to make my way to them. The puffiness under eyes and red nose are still visible. I can't believe I just embarrassed myself in front of hundreds of students. I could see my mom giving me a smile, and even though neither us will say it out loud we were both thinking the same thing.

''Audrey!'' I hear someone call my name. I continue to walk a little faster but I feel a hand get a hold me and twist me. ''We need to talk.'' His scar has cleared up a lot, enough that his wrist almost looks normal.

''About?'' I ask looking up only to catch a glimpse of black hair behind him. Peyton waves at me with a familiar smirk.

''Why have you been ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?'' He asks and my chest just sunk even deeper. His eyes scan my face not giving my Rudolf nose his attention. I wanted to hold his hands and tell him to stop giving me those squinted eyes.

''What? How could you-'' I stop midsentence and notice Peyton in the back. Her thumb and index finger are pinched together as she moves them across her lip. ''How could you think I forgot what you said, about my dad.''

''Audrey I told you I'm really sorry. I wasn't thinking straight-''

''But you said it and there's no take back.''

''I thought me coming here would make you happy?''

It did, you have no idea. The fact you took the time to make it happen and actually listening to me meant a lot. ''I could care less if you had come, maybe you shouldn't have. Seeing you hurts me.''

''Would you have been happy if I had bought you a graduation present?'' I don't know why he would ask me that. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, what does that have to do with anything?

''I saw the car I got you parked outside. Peyton told me something and I don't want to believe her.''

I gave her a glance and she was taking a picture with Parker. Her arm draped over his as she pretended to give him a peck. My nose curled in irritation, ''What she say?''

Our gowns touched once he took a step closer. His arms no longer hanged by his side but crossed over his chest. ''Were you only using me for money?'' He whispered.

Is that what Peyton wants me to say? To make him believe the motives I love being around him, is because of his money? I remained quiet to ashamed to even look up and see his eyes.

He bent down so his gold highlights came into my view, ''Were you?'' The tone of his voice sent shivers down my spine. His mouth filled with desperation and anger.

''Sorry.'' I said feeling my insides turn and crack like porcelain. That one word wasn't an answer, it wasn't a yes or a no, but a collection of where I stood. He didn't say anything after that. My stare remained at the floor watching as the closeness of his gown started to disappear until I no longer heard footsteps.

I didn't want to glance back. If I did I wouldn't be able to look away. I'm walking away from him leaving Ricky thinking I used him. Did it really look that to him? No, Peyton screwed his head to come to such a ridiculous conclusion. At least she got was she wanted.

As I see my family waiting for me with flowers and happy birthday balloon I start to think that maybe this is for the best. Ricky and I were never supposed to meet. It was all a crazy coincidence. I always knew that Peyton was better for him. They looked perfect, and overly cliche but perfect all in all.

She doesn' t have the bunny teeth I have or dry hair that I'm still trying to fix. Just as crazy as it sounds, I do believe she cares for him. Why else would she keep on being persistent, and he has to feel something for them to come back to each other for the last 2 years.

''Audrey congrats,'' My uncle leans down to hug me, as he gave me the balloon. ''Horrible adult life has officially started.''

''Oh the happy joy.'' I smile back at him. Grandpa's chair came into view so I untied the balloon string from my wrist and slid into the handles. His eyes were lost on the specs of dust floating around him, as his lips seemed to be in a permanent frown.

''You sure you don't want the day to spend with your friends?'' Mom asked me as we made our way through the crowd, photobombing as many families as we could.

''Yeah, dinner with you will be just fine.'' I tell her as I reached for my hair and pulled it up into a ponytail.

Her eyes stare at me for a while then her chest rose. ''I didn't know he went to the same school as you.''

''Yeah because he doesn't. He graduated last year but never got to walk, so he somehow convinced the principal to do it today.''

Our walking slowed down waiting for the rest of the family to catch up. Looking around I see people I had no memories with. A honk came from the back as mom unlocked the car. ''So does that mean he'll be joining us? To celebrate as well?''

''No, mom. He has his own family over and I think he'd rather spend the time with them.''

''We can invite them as well. I'll have to make more food of course, but it would create a better atmosphere. Ask him to bring dessert, because I am not making more.''

''I'll call him once we're home.'' I said to her and went in the car. Setting the cap down next to me I get my phone out. I see a message from Sam saying...

Sampa.z (12:15 p.m.) Boop! then i fell on my ass. True story too *laughing emoji*

I smile a little remembering what we were talking about before I had to turn my phone off for the ceremony. He had been telling me how his 1st day at college went and how he feels embarrassed to go to Literature, now I know why.

Strangely, he and I have been talking more often now. Instead of me answering every 6 hours now its 2, and that is if I remember. I'm a horrible texter.

Audreyjacksonn_ (3: 06 p.m.) not as embarrassing as what just happened to me

Audreyjacksonn_ (3:06 p.m.) I started to cry on stage :)))))

Exiting out our chat I recall the reason to taking out my phone in the 1st place. I text Jos telling her to call me as soon as she can. Placing my phone back on my pockets I struggle my way to the trunk and start to crouch again.

~.~.~

''Please fold your gown. I want to save it, and remember to call Ricky!'' Mom yells at me as I scream back an 'okay' on my way up the stairs. I make sure to fold it neatly and place the cap on the top right on my mom's bed. I knew she was going to place it in the same box as she did with Andi's. After we moved she hid it from me. Before it used to be in Andi's closet but now, it's her hidden secret.

Stretching my arms for the loose t-shirt on top of my closet I hear the sound of a video call from behind me. I stop standing on my toes and slide the green buttom, before placing it so she could see me.

''So, how was it?'' She asked me without hesitation. The pink of her walls becomes bright when she turns the back lamp on.

''It was a complete mess. I started crying like a crazy person on the stage. I had to be walked out and on top of that Ricky now thinks I used him for money. So life is great.'' Giving her fake smile I go back to jumping for that t-shirt. Mom needs to stop placing them here, she knows I can't reach that high.

''What? Why would he think that?''

''Peyton brought it up to him and he believed it. Plus I didn't say no.'' I heard a thud coming from behind me and I turn to see Jocelyn's head on her desk. Taking one last leap my fingers manage to wrap around the hem and downfall a couple of shirts.

''Why are you so stupid!'' Her mouths fall open as her eyebrows form a downwards V.

''I'm scared she'll place him back that cell. She's a sneaky little- and she won't hesitate to do so.'' The strange way she shows affection is beyond me, but her motives will lead her to have him taken away before losing him.

''He's the love of your life! You can't just walk away from it all, and leave me with no connection to Jon. You're breaking two destinies all at once!'' The tone of her voice grows harsh, not angry, but desperate.

''You need to stop reading fanfiction.'' I tell her. The concept of having a soulmate is just odd to me. Destinies aren't a thing. Reality always comes to sink it deep into despair.

''Okay, but you can't tell me that you don't really like this guy. Audrey, you look dead right now. I'm not sure if it's because you did your own makeup or because you miss him.''

''A mixture of both. I really do miss him, and that's what hurts the most. Like I know I shouldn't-'' An incoming call popped right above Jocelyn's head. Making me stop midsentence to look closer into my phone.

''What? Why do you have bug eyes right now?''

I blink. ''This guy I've been talking to, Sam. He's calling me. What do I do?'' I jump up picking the phone in my hands, my index finger hovers the green mini phone.

''Hang up and call Ricky.'' She simply says leaning back on her chair. I give her a look.

''I'm answering him. Call you later to tell you what happened.''

''Audrey stop yourself!'' I mouth a quick bye to her and hang up just to answers him.

I saw his dead blue eyes and it hit me that he could see my saggy shirt and smudged mascara. What was I thinking! He has called me before but only through voice call and never through video, so seeing his face is breathtaking.

He grinned placing his ear bubs on, ''Hey there high school grad.'' His voice sounds tired, slow, but he doesn't appear fatigued at all.

''Hey... No offense, but why are you calling me?'' I ask keeping the camera tilted up only showing the baby hairs sticking out of my head.

''Because you're a cool girl to talk to? Did I annoy you already?'' He starts to laugh making his wavy hair fall upon his face.

''No yet,''

''I have the same basketball, you play?'' I raise my eyebrows and turn to see the deflating yellow ball resting over the clutter of books.

''Yes, but I haven't been able to in a while.'' I only play with Andi. He starts to walk and places his phone is the same position I am. Images of airport sign start to pop up. ''You going somewhere?''

''Yeah, our family is going on vacation for a month. That's actually why I called, to tell you that where I'm going service is terrible. So if I answer back late it's because of that,'' A woman comes into view, which I'm assuming is his mom. ''I have to go, bye.''

''Bye Sammy.''

-----------------------------

there are 2 months till 2019 and idk how to act

sorry for the late update btw but college was all up in my head :)))))

-jazz