Chapter's song: ADELE vs SAM SMITH Mashup!! ft. Madilyn Bailey & Casey Breves (IDK. This is freaking amazing!)

I re-read the paper on my hands. For the third time. My brows crease as I force myself to concentrate, but this is utterly boring. Lifting my eyes, I find my brother looking at me expectingly.

"So? Does it look good?" he asks.

"Yes, it's wonderful," I place the sheet of paper on the desk. I have no idea what this is for.

Scott nods, "okay. Don't you feel that the part about the royal navy is too harsh?"

I look sideways for a second. "You've handled it well, mate."

My brother stares at me for a moment before rolling his eyes. "I never talk about the royal navy, you idiot. I was just making sure you were paying attention to me and it's clear you're not." Annoyed, he grabs the papers and puts them away in a folder. "You'll have to read this tonight because I do expect some actual comments about all this, Mark. I'm making some cuts to our income and you have to be aware of it."

"Do I need to worry about getting another job?" I cross my arms across my chest.

He sighs. "Not yet."

"Then it's all good. I trust you, and if I needed to get another job, I'd still do it," I shrug.

"I know, but you still have to know all this."

I press my lips for a moment. "Yes, yes, whatever." I uncross my arms and lean on the desk. "I need to ask you something, when you met Emily, when did you know she was the one for you?"

He blinks before bursting into laughter.

Bloody hell. I should have kept my mouth shut.

"Are you really asking me this? The all-time player?" He hiccups before laughing again.

I roll my eyes. "I'm just curious, that's it. It doesn't mean anything."

"Yeah, right," Scott sobers up. "And I'm Captain America." I mutter a curse under my breath and my stupid brother laughs more. "You were there with me, Mark. You know all about this."

Memories of the past flash through my mind. I remember the time when Scott came back from Afghanistan looking like a bus rolled over him and how I transversed a few words to make him act, because Em was, and still is, a good woman for him.

"Wait, a minute. Did you realize you wanted to marry Emily on our way to the airport?"

"I knew I wanted to be with her, but thinking that I might lose her for being downright stupid, made me go all the way," he says while shifting on his seat. "If you remember, Emily didn't want to date me in the first place."

I smirk. "That's because you're a dork."

My brother smiles once more. "She still married me." He sounds so bloody smug, and my stomach churns uneasily, because I wish I could feel this confident.

"Where is this all coming from, Mark? Have you popped the question to Kate already?" I know he's teasing me, but I stay still either way. Scott's mouth opens in surprise. "For real!" My cheeks feel warm and I feel twelve all over again, which makes my brother laugh even harder.

Pressing my lips together in a tight line, I lean back on the chair again. "It came out as a sort of joke, but Kate was quick to dismiss me and that has bothered me a lot." I exhale in desperation. "I know how corny and silly it sounds, so forget I ever said anything, please."

And don't you dare tease me about it.

He knows me too well so I don't have to say it. 

Still chuckling, a bit, he shakes his head. "Give her time, Mark. You've been dating for what, a month?" Quietly, I nod. "This is all too new for you both. If you had even thought about marriage five months ago, you would have laughed yourself."

My shoulders sag and I crease my brows. "Yeah, yeah... but the truth is that I'm not even sure if Kate doesn't care anymore about her stupid ex in the first place. I know he hurt her, and I also know how devoted she was too him. That has to leave a scar, doesn't it?" 

Fucking hell. Did I just say that out loud?

"You have it bad, man." My brother sounds as suprised as me for all I've blurted out.

Tell me about it. 

I feel so small inside the office, and the whole room spins. I even feel like throwing up. 

"You can't forget that she's not dating him, she's dating you, and that means that she's at least willing to try it all out. I'm not an expert on women, God knows they're an absolute handful and most of the time you're just trying not to screw up, but I know Kate, and she's not one to toy with other people's feelings." Scott actually sounds understanding, but I still feel like shit. 

At least he got something right, women are the ultimate mystery.

I stare down at my hands as I think about it. Scott's chair screeches as he stands up and walks around the desk. He pats me on the back and points at the folder he wants me to read while I roll my eyes.

"Good luck man," he says right before he crosses the door, but stops for a second. "Have you told her how you feel, though?"

I feel in hell. I know Kate's past shouldn't bother me, and I hate being in a place of uncertainty. It's not me. I've never felt this way ever before, and I definitely don't enjoy it.

"Not really..."

"Before you start planning your honeymoon, you might want to try that approach." His lips curve up. "If there's something I regret, is not having the balls to let Emily know how I felt from the start. Don't make the same mistake, Mark." With that, he nods one time before walking away.

Fuck. Dating is too complicated.

Okay. I have to give it to him. Mark knows how to sound encouraging, making you feel like you can achieve anything you set your eyes on. Like concentrating on my blog and even thinking about making it an actual newspaper. To be fair, it has some readers, and since I haven't got much to do, I've been revamping the site, adding some articles, hoping that I can track a few sponsors my way, because that could get the whole thing rolling on.

It's definitely not easy. In the span of less than a week, I've had to learn about marketing, editing and web designing. I've made so many mistakes, but even Mark has been helping me with statistics and such. 

I smile as I think of him, he's been great to me.

Tired of sitting at the computer once more, I stand up to get more coffee when my phone rings.

"Hello?" I take out the coffee beans and the measuring tablespoon but my hand freezes when I hear his voice.

"Kate?"

My whole body stays still for a moment. 

"Hi... Scott." I scrunch up my nose. I hate the fact that he has the same name as my best friend's husband. After we broke up, it was just a constant reminder of him.

"Hey, are you busy?"

I stare at the empty coffee grinder and leave the beans back on the can. The coffee can wait, I guess.

"Sort of."

"Oh. I get it. You don't really want to talk to me. Hell. I wouldn't want to talk to me as well." He actually sounds sincere. I sigh. "I'm very sorry about everything."

The thumping of my heart feels erratic, more so, because my chest tightens. "It's been too long, Scott. It's okay. We've both moved on."

"I haven't. I'm getting a divorce."

My stomach sinks and my throat feels dry as I say, "sorry."

"Truth is, I screwed up. I get that. But I don't want to lose your friendship. It's been really hard to stay apart from you all these years."

I swallow hard. A part of me is furious at the nerve of him, for calling me years later saying all this, but I also know that this isn't probably easy for him to say either.

"I don't know what to say. I have no idea what you expect from me. I'm not going to run back to you or appreciate the fact that you're apologizing to me now. Because at the end of the day, you hurt me, and it was hard for me to move on, but I have moved on. And it's unfair of you to call me and drop this bomb to me right now." I take a breath. Man. I needed this.

The line stays silent for a moment.

"I know. And if you don't want to hear back from me ever again, I'd understand it too. You have my number and I'll be available for you at any time, but I won't bother you again if you don't want me to. I'd love to be your friend, but I also made my bed and now I have to rest on it."

My chest feels tight and my eyes prickle with tears. I'm not sure if they come from rage or sadness. Or both.

I can't tell him off. I can't tell him that I don't want to hear back from him ever again.

What does that say about me?

AW! don't kill me!!!!!! :)